Injury. (665 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 0.13 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Japetus (View user info) at 2007-10-12 05:22:04 EDT
I'm sitting here in a great deal of pain.
This brings my girlfriend a great deal of happiness (the callous bitch); ironically enough it affords me some satisfaction also. It's the kind of satisfaction you get when you know that even though you feel like a car wreck, you feel that way for a good reason.
My reason? Hockey.
A lot of people think that hockey is a womanly, emasculating sport. These people are wrong. Hockey is a hard game that involves weapons and violence.
Let's look at some other sports shall we?
American Football
How masculine can a game featuring men in Lycra be? Not only Lycra, but padding? How weak is that? I guess the main sport that American football gets compared to is rugby. I've played both. Rugby's harder. For a start, less padding, and harder players. Look at the front row of a rugby team, you wouldn't fuck with them. Look at the equivalent players on an American football team. They look like they're going to go off and model for L'Oreal after they finish slapping their quarterbacks ass for chucking a pig-skin 30 odd feet. Give me a break.
Football/Soccer
Considering the players do ballet to improve their balance, there isn't really a lot left to say. Other than they can't be very good a ballet because they seem to fall over a hell of a lot. Especially the Italians. And then they grimace in pain, weeping, holding their shins and wail for the fucking magic sponge. Skate it off, bitches.
Honestly, most other sports just don't come into the same sort of league as hockey. It's fast, it's violent and it's a hell of a lot of fun. The only other stick sports that are more lethal are shinty and hurling. Ice-hockey gets an honourable mention too.
I started training again on Tuesday night. I hadn't picked up a hockey stick in two years, but Goddamnit, it just felt right. There's something awesome about knowing you have a 3 foot piece of wood that's been reinforced with a titanium strip and some fibreglass at your disposal. It's like a baseball bat, only less phallic.
This is the reason for my pain, hockey is my fight club. I play hard, and I play to win, which is more than I can say for most of the jokers on my team, who got stoned before yesterdays match. In the end, we ended up winning and had a nice fight on the way to the changing rooms afterwards. Good show!
User Reviews
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-14 23:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"There's something awesome about knowing you have a 3 foot piece of wood that's been reinforced with a titanium strip and some fibreglass at your disposal."
kinky
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-14 22:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But it's not about being manly, I just like football more.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-12 16:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND YARDS!!!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FOUR THOUSAND FEET!!!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh, i don't know... seen some pretty serious injury on the football (soccer, i am american and wouldn't want people to be confused by my choice of words or lack of qualifier) field. I took a kids hip out of socket. he left, screaming louder than anyone i've ever heard, in the ambulance that drove onto the field to pick him up.
I do agree though at the highest levels there are too many dive taking actors. play the game don't cry like a pansy and then suddenly get up and be perfectly fine a second later. grr.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-12 12:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Who ever said hockey was a womanly sport? Are you fucking insane?
By the way John Elway threw a vortex FOUR THOUSAND FEET!!!! And seriously, you get hit more are harder in football than you do in hockey, plus you also wear pads in hockey. What do you think that shit is underneath the uniform that makes Sidney Crosby look like a bag lady? Give me a break you putz.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 12:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
some people chafe themselves wanking
at least you're getting exercise
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Skate it off!
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hockey players skate on ice (just like figure skaters omglolololol) and the NHL decided showing games on OLN was a good idea.
i'm not saying hockey's not a good sport, but when you start making assertions about how much better and "manlier" (oo cuz you have to lose a tooth to be manly) it is than American football (the prevalent sport here) and soccer football (the prevalent international sport), you start sounding IDENTICAL to that loud minority of avid hockey fans that pollute sports bars.
--------
Fuckstick. If you'd read the post/comments you'd realise I was talking about field hockey. Not ice. Fuck you!
Berty. I will do my best to fashion the boy of your dreams over the weekend and post the results.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hockey players skate on ice (just like figure skaters omglolololol) and the NHL decided showing games on OLN was a good idea.
i'm not saying hockey's not a good sport, but when you start making assertions about how much better and "manlier" (oo cuz you have to lose a tooth to be manly) it is than American football (the prevalent sport here) and soccer football (the prevalent international sport), you start sounding IDENTICAL to that loud minority of avid hockey fans that pollute sports bars.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if I'm wrong about CUNT Then I'm probably wrong about your inherant aptitude for carpentry! Get thee to a lathe and gird thy... ur... that thing from woodwork... you know, looked like a door handle with a blade on the bottom. Used it to make cones of wood shavings, or to flatten wood I'm not sure.
Plane the wood? I don't know, you're the dang carpenter YOU figure it out!
Anyway, I'm sure you could make a wooden boy if you wanted to.
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do not believe you are capable of making a wooden child. I also believe that you have no idea what C.U.N.T is.
-----------
Yeah, I do. It was the Critical Ubersite thingy... Something about reviewing work. I've been here a long time.
Regarding the wooden child, you're probably right.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do not believe you are capable of making a wooden child. I also believe that you have no idea what C.U.N.T is.
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No not really. I'm fairly sure that there hasn't been any C.U.N.T. activity for ages.
-------
Piss. Maybe I will make another wooden infant and re-start it!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No not really. I'm fairly sure that there hasn't been any C.U.N.T. activity for ages.
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Japeto! Do an original post, perhaps something pornographic about that boy you made out of wood? It would be Shandy-esque. They may even let you join C.U.N.T.
--------
*Quivers* Do you really think so?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
everytime i see "wiki" i think squick squick just cuz of the phonetics involved.
praise be to wiki, solving uber arguments since 2002 or whatever.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Japeto! Do an original post, perhaps something pornographic about that boy you made out of wood? It would be Shandy-esque. They may even let you join C.U.N.T.
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:43:28 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Honestly, I could care less. And your formatting was a lil' off at the end.
But you should have talked shit on more than just two sports: Baseball, Cricket, Basketball, Bowling, ect.
That could have been really funny...
======
And for my next post...
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wiki defines it pretty well:
Hockey is any of a family of sports in which two teams compete by trying to maneuver a ball, or a hard, round disc called a puck, into the opponent's net or goal, using a hockey stick. The dominant version of hockey in a particular region tends to be known simply as hockey, other forms being more fully qualified.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Honestly, I could care less. And your formatting was a lil' off at the end.
But you should have talked shit on more than just two sports: Baseball, Cricket, Basketball, Bowling, ect.
That could have been really funny...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
He does give ice hockey an honourable mention in there, which really ought to clear up any confusion.
US/UK language divide strikes again (we're right by the way.)
----
ok us/uk. so what about like norway, russia, germany, canada. i wonder what's the percentage of countries that have field hockey vs ice hockey. and who calls what what.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the name field hockey is used to distance itself from real hockey.
see
Hockey-as in ice, the way God and America intended it(and Canada too, can't forget our lil buddies to the north)
Field hockey- not ice, therefore wrong
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sure, my bad then.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
He does give ice hockey an honourable mention in there, which really ought to clear up any confusion.
US/UK language divide strikes again (we're right by the way.)
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how am i a dipshit? you didn't specify when you obviously took great pains to differentiate between american football and football three seconds after saying you play hockey. nearly every cold country has a hockey team meaning not field hockey. so that would be most of europe and canada and america.
that makes you the ass.
========
Jesus. Over here, in Engurland, hockey is played on a field mainly. Ice-hockey is far less common.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hold up, this is about field hockey?
field hockey is not a sport, the only people that play field hockey in the states are high school GIRLS.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how am i a dipshit? you didn't specify when you obviously took great pains to differentiate between american football and football three seconds after saying you play hockey. nearly every cold country has a hockey team meaning not field hockey. so that would be most of europe and canada and america.
that makes you the ass.
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok but hockey has more padding than american football and fewer injuries and violence on the ice than regular football.
======
You dipshit, I meant 'field hockey' or whatever you gays call it in America.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok but hockey has more padding than american football and fewer injuries and violence on the ice than regular football.
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 07:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-12 07:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to play hockey so +1 for that. Pretty weak post.
------
As a (sort of n00b), I'm happy with that.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-12 07:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to play hockey so +1 for that. Pretty weak post.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or at least gnawing off a sizeable chunk of my arm
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
However I would fear that Chabal may eat me once he had tackled me, swinging me side to side in his mouth.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Silly Mid Off is crazy. Fuck it I'd rather be hit by Sébastien Chabal than play Silly Mid Off.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok Hour dude, let me explain, the cricket ball (made of leather) is bowled at the batsmen at generally between 80 and 95 miles an hour over 22 yards...silly mid off is say 5 yards from the bat.
Thnk most people woudl shit their pants
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree and disagree. Rugby is high impact for far longer than AF. Sure, the impacts might be bigger, but there's far more recovery time between them. Rugby is also played at a much faster pace so you've got to take into account that tired bodies are going to hurt more.
---------
When people get tired like that though, they hit less hard... however I guess in theory tiredness leads to laziness which leads to sloppy tackles which leads to neck grabs etc.
I dunno, i think whilst there's two sports so similar there are always going to be differences... someone's gonna bring up Aussie rules now, aren't they?
---------
Should maybe have mentioned the high tackle thing was my point though. Aussie Rules is badass, fuckin' love it! We could always bring up Rugby League as well... The list of contact sports is practically endless.
My main gripe with AF is probably not the toughness, as I accept that it's pretty hard. It's just so fucking disjointed and broken up that I find it difficult to enjoy. I can appreciate the tactical subtleties and whatnot, but seeing an advert every 2 minutes just fills me with rage.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bah cricket... when ever you ever the commentator say 'Oh my God... folks he won't be getting up from that one'.
I think there's a position called something like 'Silly Mid-Off'... that's meant to be mental!!
Damnit I'm losing Grueberfest by 0.05... god damn it where are all the brits?!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The manliest sport of them all is stripclub titty fuck.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cricket is a very injury prone sport, I should know!
3 broken fingers
1 broken toe
1 torn hamstring
1 damaged eye socket
1 dislocated shoulder
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree and disagree. Rugby is high impact for far longer than AF. Sure, the impacts might be bigger, but there's far more recovery time between them. Rugby is also played at a much faster pace so you've got to take into account that tired bodies are going to hurt more.
---------
When people get tired like that though, they hit less hard... however I guess in theory tiredness leads to laziness which leads to sloppy tackles which leads to neck grabs etc.
I dunno, i think whilst there's two sports so similar there are always going to be differences... someone's gonna bring up Aussie rules now, aren't they?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh and two handed at other things
AHAHHAhahahahahahahahahah *ahem*
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would love to play hockey but cant cope with a right handed stick.
Serves me right for being left handed at some things and right handed at others.
Submitted by japetus (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:49:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
American Football
How masculine can a game featuring men in Lycra be? Not only Lycra, but padding? How weak is that? I guess the main sport that American football gets compared to is rugby. I've played both. Rugby's harder. For a start, less padding, and harder players. Look at the front row of a rugby team, you wouldn't fuck with them. Look at the equivalent players on an American football team. They look like they're going to go off and model for L'Oreal after they finish slapping their quarterbacks ass for chucking a pig-skin 30 odd feet. Give me a break
-----------
I've played both at County level, and believe me American Football is harder. Less padding maybe, but the tackles are much bigger, and the play is slower which means the big cunts can really get a good slam in. Especially if you have a shit line.
-----------
I agree and disagree. Rugby is high impact for far longer than AF. Sure, the impacts might be bigger, but there's far more recovery time between them. Rugby is also played at a much faster pace so you've got to take into account that tired bodies are going to hurt more.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-12 06:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shit, you're right. I was thinking of the weird bendy sticks that goalies use.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 05:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Found this online. Regarding left handed sticks.
This is the most common question we get asked, but there is no such thing as a left handed hockey stick because they are illegal. The reason being is that it would be too dangerous for a left hander to tackle an on-coming right hander, as they would have to tackle around the back of their legs. Left handed players have to use a right handed stick and usually use the reverse stick technique until they become use to using it in the normal way.
AND
There are no field hockey sticks for left-handed. All sticks have a toe with a rounded edge that faces the right and a flat, hitting surface that faces the left. To be able to hit the other direction with the flat face you have to turn the stick 180 degrees.
There are many places selling left-handed ice hockey sticks.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 05:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What in normal hockey?
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 05:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
American Football
How masculine can a game featuring men in Lycra be? Not only Lycra, but padding? How weak is that? I guess the main sport that American football gets compared to is rugby. I've played both. Rugby's harder. For a start, less padding, and harder players. Look at the front row of a rugby team, you wouldn't fuck with them. Look at the equivalent players on an American football team. They look like they're going to go off and model for L'Oreal after they finish slapping their quarterbacks ass for chucking a pig-skin 30 odd feet. Give me a break
-----------
I've played both at County level, and believe me American Football is harder. Less padding maybe, but the tackles are much bigger, and the play is slower which means the big cunts can really get a good slam in. Especially if you have a shit line.
Unless you're a mad fucking French warrior, or a pansy fucking Geordonian (SP), AF is harder than rugby.
Hated hockey. Always have. I would rather watch curling.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-12 05:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:45:54 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I could never play Hockey due to no left handed sticks........what a shit sport that doesn't let left handed sticks, what are the reasons!
========
Dude. There are totally left handed sticks.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 05:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I could never play Hockey due to no left handed sticks........what a shit sport that doesn't let left handed sticks, what are the reasons!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-12 05:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to play hockey - I was in goal. Its murder..