I miss eating kittens... (562 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.14 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EatingKittuns (View user info) at 2007-10-12 10:44:24 EDT
Have you ever eaten a Kitten? I bet you haven't.
There used to be a time when eating kittens was as common as waking up. In fact, I mean that literally, because it was tradition to eat one first thing in the morning. Gently wrapping my mouth around its head as it squeels and squirms to get away, all the while intensifying the gratification.
When I moved away from my little town in Colorado, I had to stop eating as many. People don't seem to like kittens much in other places. In fact, I found out that if I even tell anyone anymore, they jump down my throat. Everyone else eats cows and pigs and everything, what's the difference anyway?
I can't even begin to describe how wonderful they are. Well, yes I can, actually. The soft crunch of their tiny skulls... A lot like a cherry tomato with little teeth. Like seeds actually. Yes, exactly like a cherry tomato now that I think about it. You know with asparagus, how the only really good part is the head?
I wish it wasn't looked down upon. Last Thursday one of my friends walked in on me eating one, and the look on his face probably wouldn't have been more contorted if I were standing on my head while masturbating a walrus. Needless to say, we are no longer friends.
User Reviews
Submitted by juggy (user info) at 2007-10-13 00:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This article has been huffed.
Submitted by mr-bee (user info) at 2007-10-12 21:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a load of shit.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-10-12 20:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like eating kittuns.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-12 16:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-12 15:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like it
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
go outside
breathe deep
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oddly I was kind of amused by this. could just be that I'm giddy because it's friday and a little off because I drank entirely too many red beers last night.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-10-12 12:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*shrug* Meh, etc.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-12 12:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
but the meat is so stringy, and hard to separate from the rest of them.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-12 12:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YAWN
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Eat my balls.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eh?
Are you yellow-skinned by any chance?
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You must be a Kitten Huffer!
they be good sheeeet
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why is a Grue chasing kittens??
Submitted by EatingKittuns (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Though eating one does sound fun...
Submitted by EatingKittuns (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Of course it's a shtick, did you think I was serious?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm...a whole alter based on a kitten-eating shtick?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EEEEVIL!