I wonder what would happen... (828 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.25 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by StereoTypist (View user info) at 2007-10-12 13:33:55 EDT
I can't tell you why I do the things I do. I don't really understand it myself. It's kind of like... a sneeze. I try to fight it as much as I can but, eventually, the sneeze will win out. That's the way it is with me. There are certain things I just HAVE to do or my mind won't give me any ease.
I heard about this condition once - Tourettes? Saw it on this documentary where a bunch of little kids were talking about how they have to twitch or yell or scream or they just don't feel normal. That's where I got that sneeze thing from - one of those kids said his ticks were like a sneeze he couldn't control.
Maybe I have Tourettes.
Of course, I don't holler or yell or twitch like those kids did. No, my symptoms are much different from there's. Still, I find it hard to control what I do.
Like earlier tonight on my way home from work. I heard this "meow" come from an alleyway and followed the sound. I found this little kitten sitting there, all dirty and ragged. And then, for no reason at all, I heard myself whisper inside my own head "I wonder what would happen if we stepped on it."
Now I am not a cruel man, not by any measure. I happen to love animals. But for some reason I just had to know what would happen if I stomped on this little kitten. I tried to resist the urge, knowing that it would hurt the little creature, but the tingling started.
First it was just my foot where the tingles started. You know, that pins and needles type feeling? And then it started to crawl up my leg. I tapped my foot nervously in a furious rhythm hoping that the small distraction would somehow turn my mind of to the idea of smooshing this kitten and buy the kitten enough time to escape.
But wouldn't you know it, that little fucking cat just sat there, meowing. I couldn't hold back the anxiety for long and soon I was pacing back and forth, my mind as confused as a young child screaming at their parents in a toy store.
"But WHY mommy! WHY can't I have a brand new toy?!?!"
But in my case it wasn't a new toy I wanted. It was this kittens head, beneath my shiny leather shoe.
I screamed at myself like a mad man, my inner monologue slowly becoming a loud and violent conversation.
"I am NOT stepping on that cat."
"You know you want to... just do it and we will feel better."
"NO NO NO NO NO!"
"Do it."
"No I won't - and you can't make me."
"Can't I?"
"NO!" I screamed even louder, "I am in CONTROL!" I jabbed myself hard in the chest in an attempt to physically drill in the idea that it was I that was boss, not the voice in my head.
"Do it... or I will start the headaches."
I was pacing back and forth now, violently waving my arms during the argument, but stopped dead as soon as the words "Headaches" rang in my ears.
"You... you wouldn't dare," I said, "It would hurt us too much."
"Do it."
The headaches. Those terrible, mind numbing bursts of red and white lights that traveled through my head burning everything it touched. They started out dull, an almost aching throb. But soon the pain would heighten. Soon the world would begin to spin and my brain explode with pain. How many times have I found myself falling into unconsciousness when the pain got to intense? I've lost so many jobs because I couldn't wake up the next morning to go to work.
That's what happened to me today. I was late to work this morning because the voice wanted to know what it would happen if I stuck a pen into the eyes of my neighbors dog. My boss said I was unreliable - that he couldn't trust me to come in when he needed me. That hurt. I liked this job I have now, I was good at this job. Sure I was just a salesmen at a electronics company but it made me feel whole. I hated not having a job. It made my wife yell and scream at me which also gave me a headache - all though not as bad as the ones the voice in my head gave me.
And right now all I had to do to keep the pain of those headaches away was crush this tiny. Little. Kitten.
The fuzzy creature turned around and threw itself on it's back, begging to have it's belly rubbed as it purred wildly. I raised my foot slowly and rested it on the kitten's stomach ever so gently. The kitten wrapped its paws around my shoe and licked at the soul, it's purring growing louder.
I pressed a bit harder onto the kitten, not enough to hurt it but enough to test out the softness of it's body. It wouldn't take much pressure to cause this young cat's insides to pop out of it's body. I wouldn't even have to stomp... I would just have to step down softly...
I pulled my foot back away from the cat, it's claws attaching to my shoe for the briefest of seconds trying to hold on.
"You see? It WANTS you to do it. It's BEGGING for it."
I looked at the kitten still on its back. It meowed at me. A passerby would have heard nothing more than a simple "meow" but my mind translated it into two simple words.
"Do it."
It barely made a sound. The expected squish was all that I heard as I watched the pavement beneath my foot turn red and sticky. The moonlight danced happily on the escaping entrails and they almost glittered with the moons reflection kissing every inch of them.
I lifted my foot and watched as a few glistening drops of the kittens blood dripped from my shoe. They fell to the pavement and started to form a new little puddle of blood. I retracted my foot and placed it back on the ground, away from the kitten.
"Good," I heard the voice in my head say.
I smiled and rolled my eyes back, savoring the sweet endorphins the voice released into my bloodstream. This feeling of euphoria was my reward. I had obeyed it's command. It was truly the one in control.
I walked home in a daze, smiling at the few people who wandered across the streets on this particular section of Manhattan. I hummed a happy little tune to myself and. Seemingly pleased, the voice allowed itself to drift of quietly to wherever it went when it wasn't asking things of me.
I came home, got undressed and took my soiled shoes into the bathroom with me. I cleaned them as best I could before submerging myself into a steaming shower.
I came out all pink and clean, a towel wrapped around my waist. As I entered the bedroom I saw my wife asleep on the bed. I could only make out her form in the darkness and I watched it rise and fall in a steady rhythm. I smiled at her.
Crossing over to the bed I sat next to her, my hand gently caressing the soft ebony curls that were splayed around her porcelain face. How I loved her like this. Peaceful, quiet. I was going to have to tell her what happened, that I lost my job again. She was not going to be happy. I knew her grey eyes would flash qith hatred and disgust and she would threaten to leave me again. Maybe this time she really would.
"I wonder," the voice whispered in a soothing voice, "what would happened if you stopped her from breathing."
I smiled.
"Only one way to find out," I said as I lowered the pillow onto her face.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-15 06:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
... I dunno, I felt it was kind of predictable. I mean to say, you've touched on quite a nice idea there of a man who suffers terribly whenever he resists destructive impulses and I think it'd have been a nice excercise if you'd had some manner of stoic hero who endures much to not be a monster. Y'know, sort of a nice metaphore for civilised mans struggle against the savage. You could have looked at the benefits of not being a mental crazy person which would have been both uplifting and interesting.
Of course I suppose if I want to read something like that then I should go ahead and write it. I can't though because I am fucking useless.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-13 13:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
could do with a proof read but was good stuff.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-13 13:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You post reminded me of the one I wrote about 'the little voice in your head'.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76188
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-13 13:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I am not a cruel man""
And there was me thinking you were a 'middle eastern' girl with big tits.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-13 01:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I wonder," the voice whispered in a soothing voice, "what would happened if you stopped her from breathing."
I smiled.
"Only one way to find out," I said as I lowered the pillow onto her face.
----------------------
Fuck, that's what I should have done. I need a time machine, destination 3 months ago!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-12 16:41:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-12 16:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Field of Dreams aside, I have a problem with "the voice" being used as a proper noun.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-12 16:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's
i noticed too, nugg. i cant believe this happened. this has to be a sign of the apocalypse.
GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER.
i will go back to reading this now.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-12 15:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
997838A0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 15:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I noticed corn: http://www.ubersite.com/m/112444#2553045
Submitted by icanbecool (user info) at 2007-10-12 15:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Insight maybe a skill you should develop.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-12 15:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woah. Nobody noticed that but me? Odd.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-12 15:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Without even looking, I know a million people have pointed out the "there's" problem.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Awww, kitty...
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
mental garbage.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh... mmm... okay.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe if you'd email me a picture of your hole, the stress in your life would just disappear.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was going to be a real tale and was getting pissed because I was pretty sure you were a girl.
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Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Squishy kitties. Also, the cat in the picture looks a little deranged. It's eye is weiiird and creeping me out. Probably deserved to get stomped.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I get it
you're a Jap
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike Vick?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
better filename souldn't hurt either.
I would call this one my squishy.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My wife has Tourette's and OCD.
That being said...this was really fucking funny. :)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY! I saw BRDN_NKD(sp)'s post! You're supposed to be dead!
SEE?! I told you. as an imaginary person who lives in my computer you could at least play along when I kills you.
just kidding, like i said I did enjoy the story, keep it up just edit better.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give you the +2 because it wasn't a bad tale but soooo many word substitutions ie there's should be thiers, you missed several to that should have been too, i think there were a couple others. unfortunately i suspect that your editing consists of spell/grammer check in word and those are the kind of errors that word will never point out.
I thought this was going to be a real tale and was getting pissed because I was pretty sure you were a girl and I killed you in my story, http://www.ubersite.com/m/112391, and you turning out to really be a man would have messed up the details.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brdn_Nkd whatever.
That kitten makes my eyes water.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY! I saw BRDN_NKD(sp)'s post! You're supposed to be dead!
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FEED ME A STRAY CAT