Not a Grueberfest Entry... I Shouldn't be Posting. OR: Dont' become too invested in this story, and watch for the super surprise ending! (584 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.03 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by beeltea (View user info) at 2007-10-13 03:59:17 EDT
It was minutes away from the end of Thanksgiving day, and all but one of the Miller family was fast asleep. Robin stepped silently out of her room, put on an overcoat and her black rubber boots and walked out of the apartment to the hallway outside. Passing the elevator bank she skipped down the five carpeted flights to the marble floor of the main lobby, and strided briskly to the double doors leading outside.
"It's raining out, Miss Robin." Said a uniformed doorman as she passed. "Won't you be needing an umbrella?"
"Thanks Frank, but not all witches melt when they get wet, only a few of us." Frank shook his head at the caustic response that had now become a standard from Robin as she pushed both doors open at the same time and bounded out into the rainy gloom of Madison avenue.
It wasn't that she was prediposed to spitefulness, but growing up Robin had always been an outsider. At her heart she was mainly just shy, but her intelligence intimidated most of the boys her age and she had very little in common with the girls. Now that she had left home for school it seemed even harder to meet people, as she was a big city girl at a small town college, and although her family thought the fresh start would be good all she felt was more lonely than ever before.
Robin kept her head down an her hood tight over her short brown hair as she walked the three blocks to the nearest bodega. This was partly to block out the rain but mainly to fend off attention from the restless souls still out on the street at this time of night; some of whom might not have the noblest of intentons towards a young thing like herself walking around alone. If Robin had looked into the eyes of any of these people, the beggers, the drunks, the wanderers who were not welcome anywhere this holiday night (and certainly nowhere near the confines of an upper east side penthouse) she might have realized she did indeed have quite a bit to be thankful for. Unfortunately, this only made her feel guilty, and as she walked into the store to feed the addiction that drew her out in the first place the guilt only grew worse.
"A pack of Camels, please."
"Are you over eighteen?"
"Fuck, just give me the cigarettes." She had been buying cigarettes from this deli since she was fifteen. The greasy man behind the counter chuckled to himself and pushed the pack across.
"I get off in a couple hours. Why don't you meet me after work, sweetie?"
"Why don't I meet you on the dark side of the moon, you creep?" And with that she was out the door.
Robin huddled over to light the match in the drizzle, shook it out and threw it in the street. Looking up, she was just able to prevent walking right into a small figure in a gray shawl; a girl, no more than eleven or twelve, was there among the grifters, singing a nursery rhyme to herself and passing out slips of paper.
"The North wind will blow, and there will be snow,
and what will the dormouse do then, poor thing?"
"Little girl, what are you doing out so late?"
"Handing out these, ma'am. Won't you please take the last one so I can go home?" Robin took one of the flyers. She wasn't used to being called ma'am. The paper in her hand read "Hodson Jewelry and Diamond... Specializing in Engagement Rings." Robin was appalled that somebody could exploit a child in this way. She stuffed the flyer into her jacket pocket and decided the next day she would give the owner of this shop a piece of her mind. "You should go home now, little girl."
"Thank you, milady." The girl started skipping away, singing as she left.
"The north wind doth blow, and we shall have snow,
and what will poor Robin do then, poor thing?"
Startled by the sound of her name, Robin watched the girl disappear in the rain. Robin may not have been used to being called ma'am, but milady was utterly ridiculous. She hurried back to her building and thought about the strange encounter, and became more curious about what kind of shop would use a child to promote itself.
Three minutes after she fell asleep, a meteor crashed into the earth and killed Robin, her family, the girl who sang the nursery rhymes, the man who ran the jewelry shop, you, me, and all life on earth as we know it.
I quit. fuck this contest.
THE END
User Reviews
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2007-10-18 03:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jester: I'll bet he's crying now!
Traxx: No... NO! HE'S NOT CRYING!!! CAL ME GAY, WILL YOU... WELL, YOU'RE GAY!!!!
Jester: Relax, Traxx. It's just the internet.
Little Sally: Relax don't do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
When you want to come
Relax don't do it
When you want to to go to it
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
Relax don't do it
When you want to suck to it
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
Come-oh oh oh
But shoot it in the right direction
Make making it your intention-ooh yeah
Live those dreams
Scheme those schemes
Got to hit me
Hit me
Hit me with those laser beams
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-18 02:54:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-14 14:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT is a surprise ending, you fuckin hack
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hack? hack you say? I'm gonna kick some ass gonna climb a tree gonna punch some fucker gonna beat a squirrel if i can catch one gonna kill some mother fucker named jester and traxx gonna kick some ass gonna save a tree... rock, flag, eagle. Kick some ass.
Submitted by Jester_and_Traxx (user info) at 2007-10-17 18:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
JESTER: The post itself is "Don't Bother (-2)" but the spoofing of myself and my idiot savant counterpart "Made me Smile (+1)"
TRAXX: y does this f4g pretend 2 b a girl on a diff accnt and talk about getting teh Y HELO THARs from 2 d00dz?
JESTER: Probably because he has repressed latent homosexuality issues which manifest in the 'safe' enviroment of his alter ego personality.
TRAXX: . . . ?
JESTER: He's a closet fag.
TRAXX: el oh el wut a f4gg0t
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-15 08:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it until you fucked it up the arse
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-14 14:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
... but then she woke up and it WAS ALL A DREAM.
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THAT is a surprise ending, you fuckin hack
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-14 09:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great ending.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-13 15:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's not a suprise if I can see it coming.
+1 for child labor.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-13 11:45:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-13 04:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man that game was fucking long. who loses a POTSEASON game by walking a run across the plate? wtf?
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Seriously. Heinous.
This post made me laugh.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-13 11:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-13 11:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-13 10:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-13 08:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really liked the start. Shame.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-13 10:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you serious?
If you want out, you can be out...
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-10-13 10:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-13 08:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really liked the start. Shame.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-10-13 06:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
fuck titles with that "OR" format.
pick one.
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2007-10-13 05:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JESTER: I didn't really like this post. I'm going to give it a negative one.
TRAXX: Y Wouldja do that? This cocksucker has left us disappointed numerous time.
JESTER: Well, I think that is more of a statement on us, really.
TRAXX: OMG u're toadally rite... I thknk u should give this a negative two.
LITTLE SALLY: Hey, how about you two stop worrying about this post and double-team me?
JESTER: Well, that seems reasonable.
TRAXX: MFG F?W okay.
BLT: I hate all of you.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-13 04:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAIKIU'S STONED
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-13 04:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EVERYONE IS DRUNK WOOOO
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2007-10-13 04:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's "different", jackass.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-13 04:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's potseason? fantastic. I shall celebrate by smoking a lot of pot.
That will make this holiday no differant than any other.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-13 04:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go to bed you fucking drunk.
i didn't read this.
because i'm a bit under the influence of the bottle myself.
so i'm going to bed.
man that game was fucking long. who loses a POTSEASON game by walking a run across the plate? wtf?