The Unhappy Ending (797 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.69 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TechnoRatty (View user info) at 2007-10-14 15:33:07 EDT
"I can't believe you did this to me!" Karen screamed at the top of her lungs. She had just found something that would just ruin her whole marriage.
"Honey, I love you. I would never do that." Jim said, calmly. He had no idea what she had found, but he knew it was bad.
Karen held up a thong. It was bright pink and very small. "I could NEVER fit into this! Whose is it's?" She glared at him.
Jim started to panic. He thought he had hid those so well. Last weekend while Karen was away on her Journalism job he'd had his "girlfriend" over for some "fun".
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"Hey Suzy!" Jim smiled, after ushering her inside. "Karen won't be back until tomorrow night. "I'm sure you want to get out of your clothes - I mean coat and make yourself comfy."
Suzy had dark brown hair that went down to her shoulders and her blue eyes sparkled. "I am already comfy, under my coat." She gave him a little peek of what was under. He gasped. It turns out she was completely naked, her breasts soft round mounds peeking out.
He led her right up to the bedroom and started to kiss her. Suzy moaned in pleasure and started to get wet. She pulled his right hand down to her wetness and he began to grow hard.
"Give it to me!" Suzy whispered into his ear. He unbuttoned his shirt while she worked on his pants. Once both were off they both could see that Jim was very excited. His bulge came almost right out of his red and white boxers. Suzy knelt down and began to rub it through the boxers. He played with her breasts.
"I want you so badly." Jim said as he got on top of her. He began to grind his hips against hers, slowly at first but then quickening.
Suzy moaned even more as she began to reach her breaking point of an orgasm. "Ahhh! Oh my god! It feels so....." She stopped as she shuddered with wetness.
Jim had to pull out, it was getting too much for him. His bulge was going down. Both lovers panted heavily.
"That was great." Suzy smiled. She was trying to catch her breath. He began to kiss her soft neck. She shook her head.
"I can't do this again," She said giggling as he began to rub her breasts. Jim rubbed harder on her nipples making them even harder then they already were. He started to suck them, making her moan all over again. Suzy thought she had reached her climax for the night but she was wrong!
Her wetness was so bad it began to soak the bed sheets.
"Don't worry about that." Jim looked down at the wetness and started to lick it up. Suzy watched him, shocked at what he was doing.
"Oh my god!" She screamed. Now this was her breaking point, she shuddered again until it was too hard for her to breath. "Oh god, stop, stop!" He looked up and kissed her lips, his was moist with her wetness ............
________________________________________________________________________________
"Answer me dammit!" Karen threw the thong in his face. It snapped him out of remembering what happened.
"I love you Karen! Please don't do this!" He pleaded her to stay but her bags were packed and ready to go. A taxi was even waiting outside for her.
"I thought I could trust you. But now you do this again! Good-bye Jim! I'm leaving you. You don't deserve me." She walked quickly towards the door.
"Have fun with your "girlfriend"!" She said as she threw opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. Jim just stood there, amazed that she really left. He loved her but......, Suzy..., now she was exotic and gave him great pleasure, pleasure that his wife couldn't offer. He wanted children but Karen could not conceive; maybe this was why he'd cheated - again.
_________________________________________________________________________________
It has been more then a year since Karen left Jim. Since then he and Suzy have married, and very soon after found out they were to have a little baby girl. They named the little girl Angela.
Karen on the other hand, has lost her job and she's turned to drinking. She's never quite got over the fact that her true and first love, the man she would have died for, had cheated on her - twice! Now she has a boyfriend, but he beats her on a regular basis. She really only wants the sex, that is one of the two things keeping her from killing herself, the other - drinking
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-15 12:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I'm talking dirty, I find the word cock much sexier than dick.
Just so you know.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-15 10:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hang on- is this pastiche? It almost reads like an intelligent person trying their damndest to write stereotypical, awful romantic prose.
----
also, i laughed out loud at 'his bulge was going down.' you couldn't come up with ANY better way to write that?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-15 08:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I am amused that there really is a European Fecal Standards and Measurments organization.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-15 05:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is atrocious. If you're going to write this badly you should really write about something really, really weird like Tremors clingfilm sex fanfic.
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-15 04:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha
Barron got so owned.
Also, this story really sucked bad.
===============
I SUCK COCKS IN HELL AND HE'S A FAT BASTARD WITH A TINY COCK? I THINK I WIN, ALL IN ALL.
IN ANY CASE, I AM THE BARON AND I AM EEEEVIL, THE BARON! LEARN TO WRITE LIKE AN ADULT, PUBESCENT TOERAG.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-10-15 03:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
She was naked. Why was there a thong?
Also, there's words. Why isn't there anything worth reading?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-15 01:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
hmmm.. not very good
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-15 01:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
D:
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-14 23:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BUT THEN SHE WOKE UP AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-14 23:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Steak is now an unhappy reader.
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2007-10-14 22:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus fuck, that was painful to read.
Crowning coil on this piece of shit:
"Her wetness was so bad it began to soak the bed sheets.
"Don't worry about that." Jim looked down at the wetness and started to lick it up. Suzy watched him, shocked at what he was doing."
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Blow me, Barron.
============
I WOULD, BUT I'M TOO WEAK TO LIFT YOUR STOMACH TO GET AT YOUR MINISCULE COCK!
****
You been peekin', ya fucking meatgazer. .
_____________________________________
ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha
Barron got so owned.
Also, this story really sucked bad.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Blow me, Barron.
============
I WOULD, BUT I'M TOO WEAK TO LIFT YOUR STOMACH TO GET AT YOUR MINISCULE COCK!
****
You been peekin', ya fucking meatgazer. . .
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Blow me, Barron.
============
I WOULD, BUT I'M TOO WEAK TO LIFT YOUR STOMACH TO GET AT YOUR MINISCULE COCK!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Blow me, Barron.
After the turn of the century,
The Barron was an asshole to you and me.
We slapped him in the head with a great big stick,
and poured hot lead over his tiny dick. . .
Big stupid fucker, and his wife is a whore,
She's fucked 12,000, and probably more.
80 posts died tryin to end his spree,
Now his demise is left up to me.
A funny old man with a drunkard's nose,
sitting at the desk in his panty hose.
Typing shit and garbage to pass the time,
The rhythm is shit but I sure can rhyme.
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 17:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Phony Baron below
======
YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE. I AM THE ULTIMATE BARON, THE CANTANKEROUS CRUSTACEAN! I LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN, GETTING A STIFFY, YOU TWATFLAP.
*******
If you're so brilliant, why did you misspell your screen name, asswipe?
Are you Shlongy's smarter brother?
=========
BRILLIANT? I AM NO SUCH THING SIR, NO SUCH THING AT ALL. THE BARON. I SAIL THE SEAS IN A BOAT MADE OUT OF PAIN.
AT LEAST I DIDN'T NAME MYSELF AFTER A CHARACTER FROM THE HOMOSEXUAL EPIC FORREST GUMP, YOU FLAMING HOMO.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 17:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Phony Baron below
======
YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE. I AM THE ULTIMATE BARON, THE CANTANKEROUS CRUSTACEAN! I LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN, GETTING A STIFFY, YOU TWATFLAP.
*******
If you're so brilliant, why did you misspell your screen name, asswipe?
Are you Shlongy's smarter brother?
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Phony Baron below
======
YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE. I AM THE ULTIMATE BARON, THE CANTANKEROUS CRUSTACEAN! I LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN, GETTING A STIFFY, YOU TWATFLAP.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hang on- is this pastiche? It almost reads like an intelligent person trying their damndest to write stereotypical, awful romantic prose.
Hmm....
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Christ, learn to write dialogue.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Phony Baron below
v
v
v
v
v
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was mostly mediocre and incredibly stereotypical sex description. I'm lost as to the presence of a "story".
********
The Baron nailed it. . .
===============
FUCK YOU, I AM THE BARON AND THIS WAS AWESOME, MAINLY FOR THE MISERY OF OTHERS!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was mostly mediocre and incredibly stereotypical sex description. I'm lost as to the presence of a "story".
********
The Baron nailed it. . .
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this was just....bad.
her 'wetness'??
it was all quite pointless.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
needs more rape.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was mostly mediocre and incredibly stereotypical sex description. I'm lost as to the presence of a "story".
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
been single for 4 years three below
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WOW WHAT A TWIST!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dumpster slut below.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Charming.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-10-14 15:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awful.
+2