The Tasteful Joke Thread. (1376 hits)
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Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (View user info) at 2007-10-16 09:30:57 EDT
I'll start:
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Jesus?
Jesus died a virgin.
PS: If America doesn't know who Maddy is, google her. There're 3,700,000 hits.
User Reviews
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-18 06:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-18 04:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yougotthatright
FUcking BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-18 04:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yougotthatright
FUcking BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2007-10-17 13:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Guy goes to the local bar one night to pick up a quick piece of ass for the weekend. The night pours on and one by one, all the really hot chicks filter out of the place. All the women are gone except for this mildly ,hot looking woman at the end of the bar. From a distance, she looked smoking, but as he slithered closer to her, she gradually appeared to get older and older with each step. He finally gets up to her and she's at least 60 years old by his 20 beer estimate. Well, so fucking what? The 20 beers flip his..."maybe no one will see me leave with her" switch as he takes her back to his place.
Once in bed, he starts going to town all over her...I'm talking serious buttered-monkey sex here. Legs in the air like an old tv set's rabbit-ear antenna's trying to get "The HoneyMooners" to come in clearly during a thunder storm. During the ride...she climbs on top of him and gives him the "rodeo" of his life as one of her nipples slips into his mouth. Well, she had a very nice rack for a woman of that age, so he starts to suckle on them. She moans louder with each vacuous pull on her nipples from his mouth. So he really starts to sucks harder on them, to the point of a actually getting a warm rush of milky fluid from them.
This turned HIM on to no end now and he began to suck away as mouthfuls of the liquid filled his mouth and stomach. spilling from the corners of his lips.
Hours of nipple-sucking-monkey sex pass and they're laying there in each others arms and he looks over at her and says "Man, You're incredible in the sack, everything you did turned me on to no end"
She smiled as she quietly got herself dressed.
He then lit a cigarette and said "And I don't know why...but having milk come from wonderful breasts was an absolute turn on, and sorry to sound rude and all, but...aren't you a wee bit too old to be producing milk?"
She leans in over him, kissing him on his forehead, and says..."You're right darling...I am too old to be producing milk...but wouldn't you say I'm just about the right age to have breast cancer?"
******************************************************************************************************
Thank you...Thank you...
I'm here all week.
(Elvis-drops the mic and leaves)
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2007-10-17 12:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are there no Heavy-Weight Boxing Champs named Kennedy?
...couldn't find one who could take shots to the head.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-17 07:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-17 04:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There arent many funny jokes on this thread......
---
so bring on the funny then....
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-17 05:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's blue and fucks old women?
Pneumonia.
===========
What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
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What's black and blue and doesn't like having sex?
The 8 year old in the back of my car.
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What's pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife.
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What's long, hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
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What do you call a one legged horse?
Clip.
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How do you get 95 Scousers into a Mini?
Two in the front, two in the back, and for the rest? Get the Police to open the boot.
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What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
Full.
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What is blonde, has 6 legs and invades Jacko's dreams every night?
Hanson.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-17 04:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There arent many funny jokes on this thread......
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2007-10-16 21:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This bratty teenaged girl goes up to her dad one day and begs him for a nice, expensive dress for her junior prom. "Sure," the dad says, "but first you got to let me eat you out."
"Ewww, daaaaad, that's like, groooosssss!" she annoyingly remarks (that's important). "Well you're not getting your dress, then."
She gives it a little bit of thought. "Well... alright..."
So she gets the dress.
About a year later, she approaches her dad about renting a limo for senior prom. "Of course," her father replies, "but now I get to fuck you. From behind."
"Ewww, daaaaad, that's like, groooosssss!"
"Well you can forget about your stupid limo, then."
She mulls it over a bit. "Well... okaaaay...."
And she gets her limo.
School's over, and she's headed for college. She asks her dad if he can help her buy a car. "I suppose," he says, "but now you've got to suck my fuckin' hog."
"Ewww, daaaaad, that's like, groooosssss!"
"Fine! No car for you, bitch!"
"Wait! Alright, alright!"
So she's sliggin' on his wiener when she notices something strange.
"Ewww, daaaaaad, your dick tastes like shit!"
"That's because your brother wanted a damned motorcycle..."
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2007-10-16 21:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This guy is having a solitary game of golf. While he's in his game, he keeps hearing odd voices coming from nowhere, giving him playing advice. At the last hole after a great game, he notices a little frog on the ground. The frog greets him.
"Are you the one who's been giving me advice?" the man asks.
"Yeah, that was me." the Frog replies.
"Listen," the man begins, "those were some great pointers you gave me. Would you like to, maybe, hang out with me for a while? Give me more tips?"
The frog agreed, and he and the man became friends.
Through the years, the frog gave great advice on relationships, financial decisions, and all sorts of wonderful things. The man and his frog found much success through their various ideas.
One day, the man and his frog were relaxing in their penthouse. The man had a question for his friend. "You know," he said, "if it weren't for your help, I would never be as rich and powerful as I am today. So I just wanted to say, if you ever want or need anything, just ask. I'll do it in a heartbeat."
"Well," said the frog, "there's really only one thing I want: a kiss."
The man found this to be a bit strange. Then again, he owes the frog a lot more.
So, the man kissed the frog...
...which magically, MIRACULOUSLY TRANSFORMED into a dead, bloody hooker- and I SWEAR, your honor, that's how she got there in the first place!
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-10-16 20:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wasnt jesus married to whore?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-10-16 18:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what do hillary clinton and a tampon have in common?
they're both stuck up cunts.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-10-16 18:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what kind of file do you use to turn a 8mm hole into an 80mm hole
...a pedophile
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-16 18:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm?
Who fucking cares.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-16 17:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-16 16:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's the difference between a fridge and a baby?
The fridge doesn't scream when you out your meat in it.
=================
What's the difference between a sandwich and a baby?
I don't usually fuck my sandwich before I eat it.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-16 16:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's the difference between a fridge and a baby?
The fridge doesn't scream when you out your meat in it.
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Whats brown and red, lying in the gutter covered in crumbs?
A raped girl guide.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-16 16:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does a blonde have in common with a bowling ball?
Both can be fingered 3 times, thrown in the gutter and still come back for more.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-10-16 15:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the definition of "sick"?
Sticking 12 oysters up your nan's vag and sucking out 13.
Remember folks; if she's still warm, it's not necrophilia.
Submitted by casual_sloring_anyone (user info) at 2007-10-16 14:41:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What's 12 inches long, purple, and makes women scream?
Crib Death.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-16 14:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Q. What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.
_____________________
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2007-10-16 14:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does an accountant do when he's constipated?
Works it out with a pencil.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-10-16 14:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a man takes his twelve year old daughter to the doctor's office and asks for some birth control.
the doctors gasps, "my god, she's way to young to be sexually active!"
and the man says, "sexually active? pffft. she just lies there like her mother."
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-16 14:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Q. Whats white and 12 inches long?
A. Nothing.
Q. What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-16 13:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-10-16 13:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Mad Cow disease was already taken
-------------------------------------
HA!
Q: Why do they bury lawyers ten feet deep?
A: because deep-down they're real nice people.
My favorite geopolitical joke of all time:
If Russia decided to attack Turkey from the rear, would Greece help?
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2007-10-16 13:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the best part about stabbing a baby?
The erection.
--
Why does it take women longer to climax than men?
Who cares?
--
What's the difference between Method's Mom and an airplane?
Not everyone has been in an airplane.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-16 12:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
needs viagra
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-10-16 12:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what's the best part about having sex with an 11-year-old girl?
when you're ready to shoot your load you can turn her over and pretend she's an 11-year-old boy.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-16 12:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Four white horses rolled in the mud.
Submitted by casual_sloring_anyone (user info) at 2007-10-16 11:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't have to apologize Hilarity, I still love you. I.. wait... no, I don't. I'm a sorta n00b. Deal with it.
Submitted by Crudite (user info) at 2007-10-16 11:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Two guys are walking down the street when they happen to notice a dog lying on the sidewalk, busily licking his own balls.
First guy says: "Man, I wish I could do that."
Second guy says: "Pat him on the head and maybe he'll let you."
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-10-16 11:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Q: Why don't sharks eat lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy
Q: Why do members of managment wear neckties?
A: To keep the foreskin down.
Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Mad Cow disease was already taken
Two leprechauns walk into a catholic church in Ireland.
They approach the priest, who is a little shocked. He has
never seen one leprechaun let alone two.
The first leprechaun steps up toward the alter while the
second hangs back a pace and watches. Clearing his throat the first
leprechaun says "Beggin yer pardin fathir, but could aye have a
moment of yir time?"
The priest nods gravely. "Of course my son, what can I do for you?"
The leprechaun continues. "Beggin yer pardin father but be there any
leprechaun nuns in this parrish?"
The priest thinks for a second and replies "No my son."
The leprechaun looks slightly puzzled. "Beggin yer pardin again father,
be there any leprechaun nuns in any of the surroundin parrishes?"
The priest shakes his head "No my son."
The leprechaun begins to look nervous. "Beggin yer pardin one last time father,
be there any leprechaun nuns anywhere in the world?"
The priest thinks for several minutes before answering. "no my son there be
no leprechaun nuns, rest assured if there were I would have heard of it."
At that the second leprechaun points and shouts at the first leprechaun.
"SEE AND I TOLD YOU THAT WAS A PENGUIN YOU WERE FUCKING LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!"
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
============================
What do fags do when they get in a fight?
Exchange blows.
============================
A man is lost in the desert atop his camel. As desperation sets in, the man decides he's going to fuck something before he dies.
As hard as he tries, he cannot get the camel to stand still long enough to fuck it. On the brink of giving up, the man sees far in the distance a woman struggling to escape from a pit of quicksand.
He rides over, extends a hand and saves the beautiful woman.
Beside herself, the woman expresses her gratitude by offering to do anything the man desires.
"Thank god," the man said, "Hold that fucking camel still."
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude walks into a bar and sees a ten-inch little man playing a concert piano beautifully.
Curious, he goes over to the bartender and asks the obvious question.
The bartender replies that there is a magic lamp outside, around the back, which will grant a wish to anyone who rubs it.
The man gets really excited and runs out to the back of the bar. Sure enough, there's an antique lamp just sitting there.
The man picks up the lamp and rubs it vigerously. Amazingly, a genie appears!
"I wish for a million bucks!" the man says, practically hopping up and down in anticipation of beiong a millionaire.
The genie nods, then claps his hands. Instantly, the air explodes with the flapping wings of a million startled and extemely displeased ducks.
Eventually, the man, covered in loose feathers and duck crap, stumbles back into the bar and angrily confronts the bartender.
"Gawdammit, man. That genie is completely worthless!"
The bartender shrugs philosophically. "Well, hell. Did you really think that I wished for a 10-inch pianist?"
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces:
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
casual_sloring_anyone, I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I've never even seen you. Who the fuck are you? GTFO.
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb1GQ2ioFuc
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
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A guy goes into a restaurant and lounge, his shirt open at the collar, but is stopped by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to get in.
So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a tie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free.
He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer suspiciously looks him over for a few moments and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in--just don't start anything."
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
Submitted by casual_sloring_anyone (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam
Name: _______________________
Gang: _______________________
1. Dwayne has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
4. Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4×4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's and 3 4×4's, how many Chevy's will he have to steal to make $800?
6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing her since she spent his money?
7. If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
8. Hector knocked up six girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?
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Bullshit I posted that months ago... ASSHOLE!
Also,
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In the middle of the woods there is a river. About 5 inches above the river is a fly. Beneath the water surface is a fish. The fish sees the fly and thinks, "If that fly comes down 5 inches, I'll be able to jump up and eat him!"
Meanwhile there is a bear, watching the fish, watching the fly. The bear thinks, "If that fly goes down 5 inches, the fish will jump to try to eat him and I can grab the fish!"
Watching the bear is a hunter. The hunter is thinking, "If that bear moves from behind that tree towards the water, I can shoot him and make a rug!"
Watching the hunter is a mouse. The mouse is thinking, "If that bear moves from behind the tree and the hunter shoots the bear, there are bound to be some scraps from the meat and I can eat for a whole month!"
Watching the mouse is a cat. The cat is thinking, "If that hunter shoots the bear, the mouse will run out from underneath that log and I can run after him and have myself a tasty treat!"
So, the fly drops 5 inches, the fish jumps up and eats the fly, the bear moves from be hind the tree and grabs the fish, the hunter shoots the bear, the mouse runs out from underneath the log and races for the bear, the cat jumps out and chases the mouse, slips on the rocks near the rivers edge and falls into the water.
The moral of the story? If that fly goes down 5 inches that pussy's getting wet!
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you get if you cross a pirate with a paedophile?
Arrr Kelly.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-16 10:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Two brooms were going to get married, before the ceromony, the bride broom said to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a whisk broom." The groom broom said to the bride broom, "How can that be possible? we haven't even swept together!"'
hehe
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is using a feather ... kinky is using the whole chicken!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Justin Timberlake's talent after using soap.
Sorry, I don't know any other clean jokes.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She's a woman.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam
Name: _______________________
Gang: _______________________
1. Dwayne has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
4. Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4×4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's and 3 4×4's, how many Chevy's will he have to steal to make $800?
6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing her since she spent his money?
7. If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
8. Hector knocked up six girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't like jokes about the Holocaust though. My granddad died at a concentration camp. He got pissed one night and fell off a guard tower.
I feel guilty, but that made me laugh.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Little ten year-old Helen Keller was naughty one day, so her parents decided she needed to be punished.
They rearranged the furniture.
*rimshot*
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
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What did the little boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas?
Cancer!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:41:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. Michael Jackson fucks little boys in the ass.
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Why is Stevie Wonder so happy?
He doesn't know he's black.
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What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder, answering the iron.
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I don't like jokes about the Holocaust though. My granddad died at a concentration camp. He got pissed one night and fell off a guard tower.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, "Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?"
Robert replied, "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work."
Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning.
"That's easy," Robert said. "I just tell her this little poem that I made up. She loves it!.
It goes like this: "Blond hair, blond hair, eyes so blue. I love waking up and making love to you!"
Tyrone said, "Man, you white guys are so damn sentimental." But he decided it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. So he spent the rest of the day thinking of a poem for his wife. The next day Tyrone showed up to work just beat to hell, bruised eyes, broken nose, fat lip, the works!!
Robert asked, "Man, what happened to you?!"
Tyrone said, "I don't know, man. I went home and tried your advice. I just told her a poem."
"Well, what poem did you tell her?"
Tyrone said: "Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog. If I could roll your fat ass over, I'd hump you like a dog!"
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh shush
Submitted by mikeedapikey (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What's the difference between Colin McCrae and Gary Glitter?
Only two little boys went down on Colins Chopper
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto Maddy -2. Time to get her out of the public conscience.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see."
To which the mother replied, "April fools!"