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Pantalones en FUEGO!? O no? (627 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 1.39 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by skrapmetal (View user info) at 2007-10-18 12:31:49 EDT


As per the contest rules, here are two stories. One is completely true, the other is not. If you decide to rate, please indicate which you believe to be the truth and which the falsehood.

--

1. When I was in the US Navy in the Alameda/San Francisco area some time back, I spent some time developing a hobby I still enjoy today: driving fast cars. The car I had at the time was a nondescript 1966 Ford Mustang notchback. It had a 6-cylinder 'Sprint 200' engine and a three-speed manual transmission when I bought it. With the help of a couple friends, I swapped the drivetrain out for a well-built small-block V8, T-10 4-speed transmission, and a modded-to-fit Ford 9-inch rear end. I and my friends drag raced at local SF Bay area tracks and also did a bit of street racing, and it was a lot of fun.

The car was my only transportation, so when I was going to drive it from California to the Chicago area and back on leave, I swapped the rear end gears from the 4.71:1 ratio I was using for drag racing to a set of 2.80:1 gears. I figured on saving wear on the engine and a fair bit of gas money too. While crossing through the wheat fields on I-80, I noticed that the car would cruise effortlessly at 100-110 mph. An idea found root.

After the trip was over, I did some research and found that all you needed to run a car at the Bonneville Salt Flats raceway (at this time) was a helmet, a car, a signed waiver, and decent tires. So I and two of my friends took four days' leave, drove to the raceway when there was open racing scheduled, and tuned my car. On Friday morning, I made one pass and found that the front of the car got really light at about 130 mph. Apparently the engine compartment was pressurizing. We raised the back of the hood on long bolts and a stack of washers to allow the air to escape. On Saturday morning, I made two passes for the book, one in each direction, on the three-mile course. Average speed: 166.622 mph.

2. When I was a kid I used to help my dad out with projects around the house. It was a tract house built in the late 1950s. On one such occasion, there was apparently a water leak in the crawlspace of the house and we were going to fix it. My dad shut off the water to the house and I ran the hose to bleed off the pressure. My dad and I put on our "workin' clothes" and climbed through the sub-grade opening at the back of the house into the crawlspace. We had flashlights and a bucket containing the copper-pipe repair tools: tubing cutter, sandpaper, flux, solder, torch, fittings.

We made our way to where the leak was (my dad had previously located it) and got out all the tools. Placing the bucket under the pipe where it was to be cut, my dad used the tubing cutter. The remaining water in the pipe ran into the bucket and eventually stopped. My part of 'helping' was to empty the bucket so it could be used to carry the tools back out. I dragged the bucket toward the crawlspace opening being careful not to spill any water. I got out, dumped the water, and was crawling back in through the opening. I shoved the bucket along the gravel surface and a bunch of stones got scooped into it.

Shining my flashlight into the bucket, I noticed that one of the rocks was bigger and kind of blackish, like a piece of wood. I picked it up and looked at it closely. I turned it over under the flashlight and saw a white protruding end. It was a finger. I dropped it and yelled for my dad, who scuttled over like he thought I was dying. He looked at it and put it in his pocket. Later, we decided that it probably belonged to one of the people who had built the house, probably sawn off while framing the roof or something. Yeesh.


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User Reviews


Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-22 23:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-05-12 04:22:09 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

A psychotic who uses the word "balaclava" would't "plunge the knife into her pussy". Masked intruders plunge knives into pussies.
---------
normal guys plunge peeners into pussies, but hey, that's just me

Submitted by rosemadder (user info) at 2007-10-22 21:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2


Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-05-12 04:22:09 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

A psychotic who uses the word "balaclava" would't "plunge the knife into her pussy". Masked intruders plunge knives into pussies. Balaclava-wearing psychotics do things like "put one hand on her neck and leaned in, forcing her head under the water. I barely noticed her frenzied clawing at my arm because the delicious feeling of the blade in my other hand as it sliced her vagina open, open, ever farther open, was filling my mind. The razor edge hesitated against bone, then began slipping forward in a series of jerks and spasms. Lost in the motion, I rode with the blade. Afterward, eyes half open, I noticed the warm stickyness of semen on my leg and thought that at last I found a woman who could satisfy me."

Not that I own a balaclava or anything.

Anyway, use your imagination, capitalize your "I"'s and dickpoke a few more vags before you decide they need slicing.

---------------
One of my favorite and most memorable reviews evar. Totally unrelated to this post, but there you are.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-20 10:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2007-10-19 21:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

haha my email thought you were spam.
---------
You obviously need to download the latest detection algorithms. I am in fact prime rib.

Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2007-10-19 21:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

haha my email thought you were spam.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-19 17:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I did send the email! I c/p'd it right out of your post! But I'll do it again.

Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2007-10-19 17:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

MY EMAIL IS DIAMOND0SEA.at.YAHOO.COM WITH A ZERO IN THE MIDDLE!

Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2007-10-19 17:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

SEND ME THE EMAIL!!

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-19 13:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

1 - False
2 - True

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-19 10:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-19 10:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Didn't the small blocks have a C4 transmission factory? It's been a while since I played with a Ford.
-----------
Not to sound like a movie quoted in a prior review, but since 1964.5 Mustangs have always had manual or auto (including the C4) XMSN options. The engine and XMSN that I put in the '66 weren't produced in '66, of course. The engine was a new FoMoCo block slightly overbored and milled, and the T-10 was a well-inspected junkyard piece. A SBF is a SBF, and if you can bolt one in you can bolt any of them in (even if you have to use a hammer to fit the headers). XMSNs are swappable by also swapping or fabbing a new crossmember. Easy 2da Peasy.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-19 10:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Didn't the small blocks have a C4 transmission factory? It's been a while since I played with a Ford.

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-10-19 07:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

1.F
2.T

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-19 01:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0



Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-18 16:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Story two is true.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-18 16:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

My bad - third to last. Engine's on a stand in the pic.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-18 16:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

CT -

http://www.acceleronics.com/

Second-to-last pic in the slideshow is an engine I built and which is in my current '95 Mustang project. I have more hobbies than you might think.



Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-18 16:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

2=true



Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-18 16:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

1. True
2. False

Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2007-10-18 15:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

1-Shenanigans

Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-10-18 15:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Story 1: F
Story 2: T

Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-18 14:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Yay!

1.F
2.T

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-18 13:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Both good stories but having a fair knowledge of your hobbies from previous conversations, I'm afraid I have to call your bluff on #1.

1 - F
2 - T

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-18 13:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

166 mph isn't *entirely* inconceivable for a nicely built smallblock. but some additional info about WHAT all you did to it could help in making the determination here.

without that, i'm going with:

1.)f
2.)t

if you give us some more detail on the car, i reserve my right to change my vote.


Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-10-18 13:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Skrap,


My image of you doesn't allow any lies but you're in a contest to do so now.


1. F
2. T




Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-18 13:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

#1 Lie

#2 Truth

Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-18 12:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55. The 327 didn't come out till '62, and it wasn't offered in a Bel-Air with a four-barrel carb 'til '64. However, in 1964 the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top dead center."

"No, there's more, you see, when the left tire mark goes up on the curb, and the right tire mark stays flat and even, well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge, but that didn't happen here, the tire marks stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now in the 60's there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction and independent rear suspension and enough power to make these marks

One was the corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel-base, and wheel-track as the 64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest."

Or something along those lines.

1 =False
2 = true


Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-18 12:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

1= T
2= F

Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-18 12:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

1: F
2: T

Submitted by BlazinBull (user info) at 2007-10-18 12:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

1 True
2 False

Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-18 12:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

1)T
2)F

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-18 12:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

you know i dont speak spanish, in english please..


1) T

2) F


Come here, you little raven!

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror