UberLiars entry - I don't need to make any effort as I am better than most of you anyway. (892 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.15 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rad (View user info) at 2007-10-20 15:20:34 EDT
Story #1
It was the summer of 1990.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, MC Hammer, and Home Alone. It was a time of youthful indulgence; Saturday morning cartoons were in their prime (yes, you kids these days have no idea what you are missing), MJ had yet to be accused of molesting a child, and those big ass slurpees only cost you seventy-five cents. A child could be lost in the wonderment of summer in Las Vegas, with all those swimming pools to cool off in, all that desert to build forts in, and the granddaddy of all summer activities: Wet 'N Wild.
I had gone to Wet 'N Wild that day with my sisters, Lisa and her mom Sandi. After riding all those water rides all day, I went back to Lisa's home to watch movies and eat dinner.
That night, my mother was going out on a date, and wanted Sandi to watch us (my sisters and I) for the evening, and we were to be picked up the next morning. I was excited to be staying over for the night, as I did not have many friends growing up, and that made this more special for me.
In retrospect, some fifteen years later, I just now realized that Mummy was probably out getting some, and that's why we stayed the entire night. EEWWWWWWWWW.
Nighttime. I was on the bottom bunk in Lisa's room, Lisa had the top bunk. I cannot remember where everyone else was sleeping that night, in hindsight that is probably for the better; I do not want to imagine anyone else in that room as the evening progressed. That would be for the better, I think. Yeah.
Lisa was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my young life. At 12 years old, 4'11", 90 pounds, and sporting the perkiest 'A' cup breasts I had seen, I was in love with this lovely Latina. I would count the days between seeing her. I was thunderstruck.
Lisa had slipped of the top bunk onto where I was lying. We had been talking the evening away, and we could see that the 'rents had gone off to bed; the lights and TV in the living room had been shut off. When on the bed, we continued our conversation about making movies.
Funny thing, memory is. The clearest thing I can envision from that evening is how she was going off about how video technology was becoming more affordable and that there was a chance we could get our hands on a camera and make movies with all our friends. I nodded my head in agreement, knowing that it would never happen at our age, but we could dream. We were innocent kids; if only I had known that was going to change in the next five minutes.
Lisa asked me if I knew what 'French Kissing' was. I had learned about it in a library class the year before; a kid named Luke had come up to me while I was reading a discovery magazine article about dung beetles and told me, "You gotta put it in 'er mouth, man. When you get a girl who's gonna kiss you, you gotta do it all the way, dude. You gotta French 'er." I blushed, went back to my magazine, and thought of my Lisa and gently caressing her tongue with mine.
Her head leaned in close to mine, waiting for me to take the next step. I jumped right in and placed my lips on hers. Lisa slightly parted her sweet honeysuckle lips and I gently tasted the dewy moistness of her. She reciprocated and we kissed like this for what seemed like a blessed eternity.
"Have you ever done 'It'?" I shook my head. Lisa stood up, took my hand, and led me to the floor in the corner of the room. She quietly undressed.
"You have to lie on top of me and put your thing in me." I was frozen. This was scary stuff; adult stuff. This was the kind of thing where if something went wrong, you didn't just get your fingers burnt; your entire body would catch fire and your life as you know it would change forever, who knows if it would be for the better. Lisa was encouraging me however; I lost myself in her pleading eyes. If this was what she wanted to do with me, I would do it for her. I undressed.
Who can tell at the speed time passes us when we are locked in that ultimate human connection? I could not.
I remember not knowing how to place my rod into her, and pushing my manhood up against her thigh. She helped me in.
I remember kissing her over and over again, French Kissing like we were on the bed. I didn't know what else to do with my head. Talking seemed inappropriate, and somehow I was too shy to kiss her breasts. The furthest I got down was just under her collarbone.
I remember continuing in and out, in and out; no feelings of climax in my immature sex. Boys can reach and maintain sexual based erection from the age of at least six (in my experience) but really cannot achieve orgasm until after puberty starts. I was my love's sex toy for the evening, to be used at her pleasure.
I remember her stiffing up, arching her back, stifling a moan in my shoulder. I thought I was hurting her and I kept asking her if I had hurt her. Little did I know hurt was the furthest thing from what I had done.
Lisa got up, dressed quickly, and gave me a peck on the cheek. She then jumped on the top bunk and went right to sleep. I laid awake in the bed thinking of what had just happened to me, the luckiest boy in my generation. I had gotten laid before ANY of my friends.
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Story #2
Early spring, 1996. I was a young man, not very experienced in the ways of the world, but by virtue of being firmly set in my 16th year I had not yet discovered how ignorant I really was about things. The air was crisp this March morning, hard enough to make your nipples stand out in chilly ecstasy. This perfect, sunny day I ditched my morning classes to go grab coffee with my friend Bob, his girlfriend Harmony, and this other girl we hung out with, Raquel.
We all attended the music program at the Las Vegas Academy of International Studies, Performing, and Visual Arts, and being upperclassmen at the time, we had our general education classes in the morning, and our music ensemble classes in the afternoon. Because we were all budding musicians, we were experimenting with some minor drugs at the time, and after Bob drove us over to Café Espresso Roma for our coffees (because Roma was where all the college kids hung out, and we were wannabes) we parked over on a side street near our school to smoke a bowl of kine bud.
After, Bob drove us back over to the music complex on 9th street where we waited for the 2nd period bell to ring. Bob, Harmony, and myself planned on skipping until after the lunch period, but Raquel insisted that she make her next class, so we drove Bob's 1982 Plymouth Sapporo back over to the Music Complex on 9th street, and played a little "Truth or Dare". In the backseat of that little car I experienced a very important step in my evolution as a teenage male in our over-sexualized society: I felt on Raquel's DD breasts during a very generous dare set up by Harmony. These were the first set of ta-tas I every really had the pleasure of manipulating with my hands, and the first sexual experience I'd had in approximately three years. My reintroduction to manhood was cut short by the period bell, and I was resigned to just having this one thing for a while. Being a sexually charged male teenager is tough in and of itself; being a sexually charged teenager who has horrible luck wooing a chick is murder. I had resigned myself to perpetual "friend" status with the occasional feels I could cop without being creepy about it (like this one)
With Raquel gone, Harmony suggested that we go into the theatre to smoke cigarettes in the 2nd floor dressing room/costume storage of the Academy Theatre. Being of an altered mental state and possessing a substantial lack of good judgment, Bob and I agreed to this plan. It was decided mainly because the theatre backstage was deserted a goodish portion of the morning, and if we were disturbed by anyone, it would probably be a student running an errand to move costumes from the storage area to the tech shop and back.
Originally built in the 60's, and never really renovated that well, the theatre backstage area was a dark, dank place to be in. The architecture of the place was designed in such a way as you never really knew your relation inside the building to specific cardinal directions, and that you really could not see down the hallway because of a corner or a set of stairs; this was the most claustrophobic you could be in an area the size of a large house. We chose the 2nd floor dressing room mainly because it was the last room at the end of an incline near a sharp corner after a set of secondary stairs behind a door partially hidden behind a potted plant. The potted plant in question stood approximately seven feet tall, and was not the expected green color commonly associated with potted plants, but was an exquisite array of violets and reds and blues. I assumed at the time that the plant was a stage plant designed to react under certain lighting filters during a show; a theatre techie buddy of mine later blew this theory out of the water by explaining that the artistic director at the time hated the color green, and had all his plants painted the same way. I nodded my head in faux agreement at the artistic suffering of this man who hated greens.
Harmony, with her head still abuzz from the herbs that had been previously sparked, decided that it was the perfect time to take her blouse off and begin kissing Bob. I always loved Harmony to death for this very reason: when she felt she wanted to do something she lost all reservation and went for it. I was deeply jealous of her ability to pull this off time and time again flawlessly, without negative consequences to herself or reputation, and was the reason I stayed friends with her long after she and Bob terminated their high school romance during their freshman year at University.
Bob for one instance was worried that he had an audience in the room with him and Harmony, but quickly lost all ability at cognitive reasoning due to Harmony's unabashed efforts to draw blood from his brain into his lower areas. I, however, would have been completely unable to draw myself away from this spectacle even at my good friend's insistence; my mouth hung agape, my glands were dumping adrenaline into my bloodstream making my heart jump into my throat with each ever more rapid beat. For the sake of modesty, Harmony had me turn the chair I was sitting in to face away from the action. She explained to me that she didn't want me to leave, but she also didn't want me to see her naked. I took my chair and slid the back of it against Bob's chair, and sat down.
The dim, dank light source from the end of the declining hallway created a dancing shadow show on the wall I was now facing. Harmony's small bosoms and nipples were clearly limned larger than life in dark grays and light sepias. Bob had unleashed his seven inches of fury and was now pleasuring his woman with it. As she was riding him, Harmony ordered me to unzip my fly and remove my wang from its cotton swathed womb. Not about to fuck this opportunity, so to speak, by being my normal shy around girls self, I did as she asked. Now with my cock in my hands, she told me she wanted me to pleasure myself to her: right here, right now. Again, I did as she asked, and reached climax at about the same time as my buddy and her. After, I reached over to the nearest garment hanging on the rack next to us, and began the cleanup process.
Now here's where it got weird.
Bob had gone into the bathroom to flush the condom and tidy himself up. Harmony had thrown her clothes back on, and now began to interrogate me on my actions during their act of intercourse. She wanted to know if I had snuck a peek at her, because she was adamant about me not seeing her naked, and she wanted to know if I came. I told her that I had looked around at her, but really couldn't see anything because of the level of darkness in the room at the time. She appeared to be extremely upset about my actions at first, but when I told her it was too dark to see, she calmed down quite a bit. Now she wanted proof that I orgasmed to her. I held up the soiled blue costume, and showed her where I had ejaculated. This girl, who was so offended by the thought of my seeing her in her natural state, brought the wet spotted material to her mouth and nose, and inhaled deeply. Again, agape. Harmony explained that she wanted to make sure I came to her, and then confided to me that she loved how it smelled and tasted. For the third time that beautiful morning, I learned a valuable lesson about love, sex, and relationships.
Some time later, after the afterglow had worn off and more cigarettes smoked, we left that last room at the end of an incline near a sharp corner after a set of secondary stairs behind a door partially hidden behind a potted plant, and never again were the events of that morning discussed between any of us who were there.
User Reviews
Submitted by dronebee (user info) at 2007-10-23 17:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1 true
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-10-23 07:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOLTZ RAD
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-22 20:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No fuckin clue. Both great stories though.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-22 16:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Now here's where it got weird."
Oh! like it hadn't been weird enough up to this point.
for your sake I hope its
1=T
2=F
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-22 15:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never get tired of this post - it's been put up, what, 6 or 7 times now?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-22 08:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 - true
#2 - semi-true
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-22 08:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for the sake of "participating" in this contest I will say #1=true.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-10-21 23:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You had me at 'I beat a nun to death with my dick.'
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-10-21 18:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1. http://www.ubersite.com/m/86020
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-10-20 22:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nevermind, I take that back. I misread.
+2 for my mistake.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-10-20 22:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is a mistake here that can prove the truthful story...
You state in 1990 you were 12, and that in 1996 you were 16. This is impossible.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-20 21:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't read either one of these.
Not before, not now, not ever.
I hope that's all right with you.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-20 20:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
which is why the title says no effort was spent...
they're both true though, you liar!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-10-20 16:27:37 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-20 18:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've read both of these before...
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-10-20 20:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-10-20 19:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-20 18:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've read both of these before...
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i'm not clear about something in the second one: you were facing AWAY from the action, and then jerked off to her shadow? or did she allow you to look around?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-10-20 19:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-20 18:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've read both of these before...
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-20 18:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've read both of these before...
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-20 16:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In 1978, I was a lifeguard at the Wet n' Wild in Orlando.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Rad. I think I've read both of these.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've read both of these before...
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-10-20 15:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
False, and false. Like you ever had physical contact with females. P'sha