The luck o' the Irish (668 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.14 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Wompom (View user info) at 2007-10-20 22:52:46 EDT
"By, JOVE, I'm feeling all violent, suddenly," and with that, Sherlock
grabbed his associate by the collar and promptly decapitated him.
"I say, right senseless that was. Tut, tut, cheerio." Never lacking for
associates, Sherlock was with companionship again in minutes.
"I say, dear boy, you look a good bit different from the others. What,
pray tell, did your parents decide to call you throughout your childhood?"
"Jose." Sherlock furrowed his brow and retorted, "I say, lad, I didn't ask
your given name, what did your parents call you?" "Oh. Sorry. Puto."
Sherlock was taken aback, "why didn't you say so, sooner, little Hernandez?!
Heaven forbid I should catch the aids!" Sherlock drew a gun from within
his jockstrap and forged a gaping hole in Jose's skull. Moments later a
young lass was accompanying Sherlock.
Sure of his humor, Sherlock came on to the lass, "Oh ho ho! I say, do you
know what is funny?" The unenthusiastic lass awaited a punchline. "I say,
a man... in womans clothing!! Buh HAH!" The lass frowned, "You saying I'm
some kind of joke?" Sherlock caught on quickly, and the lass was shortly
thereafter exposed to the very same treatment as Jose.
Another hopeful was soon by Sherlock's side. "Feeling vigorous, are we, mister
Holmes? Would we like some opium for the nerves?" Sherlock looked upon the
little rat of a man before him, "Well... You certainly make up for your
appearance in other ways, don't you? Let's have it, then." Little rat man
produced from his pocket a bowl consisting of high-mid's, some keef, and a
sprinkle of opium. "Spark it up, good sir."
In a manner right identical to the truths portayed in the eductional motion
picture "Reefer Madness", the dangerous drug concoction sent Sherlock into
a mad killing spree resulting in the utter dismemberment of rat man. The
exertion, however, sent Sherlock into a fit of coughing.
A new, more Irish apprentice was by his side almost instantly, "Oi say, ol' chum,
are ye gon be a'right? Shouldn't be pushin ye'self so hard in ye old age,
now." Sherlock looked to his newest apprentice indignantly, "Old - cough - old
age?" As he drew back a fist of retaliation, Sherlocks heart beat it's last.
At a ripe old age of many years, Sherlock clutched his chest and keeled over.
The Irishman reached into the coat of the deceased to procure Sherlock's will.
A smile filled the Irishman's face, "Aye, me luck never fail me and looky now..."
He read aloud the reward for his risk, "Moi apprentice at theh toim of me deat
shall inerit moi forchoon. Aye, theh 'ol fiddy million pounds be moin!"
And so, being the lucky survivor of the final days rampage of a crazy old sleuth,
the Irishman gained for himself a fortune. Years of smoking and drinking had taken
their toll on the Irishman, however, and he looked far older than he truly was.
"Aye, to moi apprentice at theh toim o' me deat, Oi'll give em me 'ol forchoon!"
And from that moment on, the Irishman was never lacking for associates, though he
went through them quickly.
User Reviews
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-10-22 18:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wtf are you two self righteous bastages talking about?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-22 13:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i was generous with this earlier anyway. follow the rules, homo.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-22 13:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
without rules we have nothing
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-22 10:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-21 17:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-10-21 15:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Now.... as a Scot living in Ireland...here's the real deal......
The biggest bunch 'O'racist in-breeds I'll have the pleasure of fightin'
Dueling banjo's........
Nuff said
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-21 05:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 title
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-21 00:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2007-10-20 23:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
One thing that has always bothered me about that term is how it's been twisted into this low-brow quip.
The Irish have rotten luck! And this term has ever been a smartassed reference to such bad luck, rather than some bullshit leprechaun t-shirt slogan.
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I have heard this before, and it seems to make sense. The other explanation I've heard in regards to the origin of the phrase is that during the actual Saint Patrick's life, he was enslaved. He "found God" while tending his flock as a slave, eventually escaped, became a bishop, went back to Ireland to convert pagans from worshiping the druids to Christianity, and adopted the clover as a symbol to explain the Holy Trinity (the four leaf clover was explained as God melting the druid beliefs into Christianity).
These converted Irishmen then joined the British army, and would put clovers on their armor in the belief that the symbol was blessed by St. Patrick and, consequently, God. Thus the symbol came to be thought of as lucky, and since clovers are so closely associated with Ireland, the phrase "luck of the Irish" was born.
That, however, could be complete bullshit. It's just another origin story I have heard.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2007-10-20 23:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
One thing that has always bothered me about that term is how it's been twisted into this low-brow quip.
The Irish have rotten luck! And this term has ever been a smartassed reference to such bad luck, rather than some bullshit leprechaun t-shirt slogan.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-10-20 22:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm drunk, but I felt compelled to write and submit something. Ubersite has been slow today. So fuck you.