The War (420 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.47 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Haggard (View user info) at 2007-10-23 12:37:58 EDT
The sea spray made all of their clothes and equipment wet. It was the sort of wet that soaked thorough your skin and into your very soul, the sort of wet that made them think they would never get dry.
He looked around and saw the scared faces of his comrades, his brothers in arms. They, who were supposed to be men, looked more like scared children. The boy sitting on his left turned green and heaved. This set off a chain through out the boat, everyone was sick and scared. He was tired, and afraid, and he wished he could remember the last time he saw the sun. He thought hard and tried to remember the time that he felt dry.
It was a warm summer day. He was with Her; they were happy. He remembered her warm embrace, the love that she had for him. He remembered lying with her, and giggling about their love. He remembered telling her that theirs was the only love in the world.
He remembered the one night in the woods. She climbed the old willow and waited for him. They kissed. He was happy then. She told him something then, she told him......
FIVE MINITES. He was shaken awake. The boat was in more chop now, and people were getting greener and greener. Periodically, a shell would land near them and the whole boat would shake. He hoped to God that he would make it and he hoped to God that he would see her again.
ONE MINUTE. Everyone was getting ready, or as ready as they could. The Lieutenant was giving orders that he could not understand; that he would not understand.
"If we get separated look for me," said the eager Lieutenant, "I will be moving up the beach, according to plan. Follow me and keep your wits about you!"
As soon as the Lieutenant finished his speech the boat stopped and the gangplank fell. He could only think of it as some sort of nightmare. Large towers throwing little pieces of molten lead down upon every one, and shells making the most horrible sounds blew holes the size of men in the sand. Everyone was rushing out of the boat and toward the towers and toward their deaths.
He looked at the Lieutenant and immediately regretted it. His leader was nothing more then dead weight after the initial charge out of the boat. As he looked around he saw that almost all of his brother's in arms were dead, all victims of the towers and their guns.
He jumped into one of the holes, and cried. He cried because of his friends and he cried because there was no hope. How could there be? He was by himself facing off against an enemy he had never seen.
Then he remembered what she said, he remembered what his angel said to him. "You listen to me, you fight them, you fight them as long as you can," said Christina, his angel. "When your are scared think of me, and when you want to quit think of me, and in some way, I'll know, and I'll be there for you,"
He looks up, and suddenly the parapets don't seem so large. Everything is moving slower, he is calmer. His thoughts organize. He needs to get to those towers; he needs to stop them from firing.
He gets up and he runs, he runs as hard and as fast as his legs will carry him. He feels the sting from the air going in and out of his lungs and feels the sand shift underneath his feet. Before he realizes it he is at the wire. He is watching as another Lieutenant tells them to go through the breach in the wire into the no mans land. He is afraid, but he thought of her and ran.
He thought of her during the charge and he thought of her when he captured the tower. Above all else he thought of her.
User Reviews
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-24 17:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This really wasn't that bad. I've seen FAR worse.
The formatting sucks, but you seem to know that.
Reread your first two sentences, they're a little ridiculous.
The wet sea sprayed wet all over my already wet wet. This is wet, people. The wet kind of wet that gets you wet, real wet.
I do get what you were going for, but you went about it wrong. I think, in this case, less would have been more.
Submitted by Hagard (user info) at 2007-10-24 12:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, so besides the format what is wrong?
Submitted by splitperson (user info) at 2007-10-24 03:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nice
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-24 00:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Work on your presentation.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-23 16:55:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-23 14:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-23 14:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had tastier shits than this.
******
How about I Fed-X you one of mine?
I've been told; It's the bomb.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-23 14:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
difficult to read and unrewarding.
FORMAT. thesaurus.
That is all.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-23 13:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
And I kept on running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running and one day I finally decided to stop running.
Submitted by Void_Where_Prohibited (user info) at 2007-10-23 13:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't all that terrible. Could have been better. Formatting was off.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-23 13:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The War = The Suck
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-23 13:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Zing
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nor anyone else for that matter apparently
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not here to amuse you.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's rather dry
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THE S3A SPRAY MAED AL OF THERE CLOTH3S AND EQUIPMANT WET!111!!!11 OMG WTF IT WAS DA SORT OF WET TAHT SOAEKD THOROUGH UR SKIN AND IN2 UR V3RY SU TEH SORT OF WET TAHT MAED THEM THINK THAY WUD NEV3R GET DRY
HE!!1!1!! LOK3D AROUND AND SAW TEH SCAERD FAECS OF HIS COMRAEDS HIS BROTHERS IN ARMS!!!1! LOL THEY WHO WERE SUPOS3D 2 B MAN LOKED MORA LIEK SCAERD CHILDR3N!!!!!11 WTF LOL TEH BOY SITNG ON HIS LAFT TURN3D GREN AND HEAEVD!1!11!!!! OMG THES SET OF A CHANE THROUGH OUT TEH BOAT 3V3RYON3 WAS SIK AND SCAERD!1!!1! HE WAS TIERD AND AFRADE AND HA WISHED HA CUD REMEMBR TEH LAST TIEM H3 SAW DA SUN!!!1! OMG LOL HE THOUGHT HARD AND TREID 2 RAMAMBR DA TIEM TAHT HE FALT DRY
IT!1!!11 OMG WTF WAS A WARM SUM3R DAY!!1!1 OMG HE WAS WIT HER TH3Y WARA HAPY!!1!!!1 WTF HE R3M3MBRED HER WARM EMBRAEC TEH LUV TAHT SHA HAD FOR HIM!1!1!!!11 WTF HA RAMEMBR3D LYNG WIT HER AND GIGLNG ABOUT THEYRE LOVE!1111!1 OMG HE R3M3MBRED TELNG HER TAHT THEIRS WAS TEH ONLEY LUV IN TEH WORLD
H3!11!!!!11 WTF LOL RAM3MBRAD TEH ON3 NIGHT IN TEH WODS!1!11 OMG LOL SH3 CLIMBD DA OLD WILOW AND WATE3D FOR HIM!1!1! LOL TH3Y KIS3D!1!!111 OMG LOL HE WAS HAPY TH3N!!!!!11! OMG WTF LOL SHE 2LD HIM SOMETHNG THEN SHA 2LD HIM...
FIEV!!1!!!1!!!!!!!1!1!111!1!!11!!!11!1!!1!!11 OMG WTF LOL MINIETS!!!!11!1 OMG WTF H3 WAS SHAEKN AWAEK!!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL TEH BOAT WAS IN MORE CHOP NOW AND PAOPLA WER3 GATNG GREN3R AND GRENER!1!111!! PERIODICALY A SHEL WUD LAND NAAR THEM AND TEH WHOL3 BOAT WUD SHAEK!11!!!!1 OMG WTF LOL H3 HOPED 2 GOD TAHT HE WUD MAEK IT AND HA HOPAD 2 GOD TAHT HE WUD SE HER AGANE
ON3!!!1!1! MINUT3!!1!1! WTF EVERYONE WAS G3TNG R3ADY OR AS R3ADY AS TH3Y CUD!11!!! WTF LOL TEH LEIUTENANT WAS GIVNG ORDERS TAHT HE CUD NOT UNDERSTAND TAHT HE WUD NOT UND3RSTAND
IF!!1!! W3 G3T SEPARAETD LOK FOR MA SADE TEH EAEGR LEIUTENANT I WIL B MOVNG UP TEH BACH ACORDNG 2 PLAN!1!!111 OMG FOLOW ME AND KEP UR WITS ABOUT U!1!1!!111 OMG WTF SON AS DA LEIUTENANT FINISHED HIS SPECH TEH BOAT S2PED AND DA GANGPLANK FAL!1111!! HE CUD ONLEY THINK OF IT AS SOME SORT OF NIGHTMAER!111!!1 OMG LARGE 2WERS THROWNG LITLE PEICES OF MOLTEN LAAD DOWN UPON 3VERY ON3 AND SHELS MAKNG TEH MOST HORIBLE SOUNDS BLEW HOL3S DA SIEZ OF M3N IN DA SAND!1111! WTF EVERYONA WAS RUSHNG OUT OF TEH BOAT AND 2WARD DA 2W3RS AND 2WARD THERE D3ATHS
HE!!!!!111 OMG WTF LOL LOKED AT DA LEIUTENANT AND IMADIAETLEY R3GRET3D IT!!1!1! WTF HIS L3AEDR WAS NOTHNG MORA THEN D3AD WEIGHT AFTER TEH INITIAL CHARG3 OUT OF DA BOAT!1!1! OMG WTF LOL AS H3 LOK3D AROUND HE SAW TAHT ALMOST AL OF HIS BROTHERS IN ARMS W3R3 DEAD AL VICTIMS OF TEH 2W3RS AND THERE GUNS
HE!11111!! JUMP3D IN2 ONE OF DA HOLES AND CREID!!!!11 OMG H3 CREID B/C OF HIS FREINDS AND HE CREID B/C THEYRE WAS NO HOPA!1!!!!! OMG WTF HOW CUD THEIR B?!!!!! OMG H3 WAS BY HIMS3LF FACNG OF AGANEST AN EN3MY HE HAD NEVER SEN
TH3N!1!!!! OMG LOL HE R3MEMBRED WUT SHE SADE H3 R3MEMBRED WUT HIS ANG3L SADE 2 HIM!1!11!! LOL U LISTEN 2 M3 U FIGHT TH3M U FIGHT TH3M AS LONG AS U CAN SADE CHRISTINA HIS ANG3L!1!!1!!11 WHEN UR R SCAERD THINK OF M3 AND WH3N U WANT 2 QUIT THINK OF M3 AND IN SOME WAY IL KNOW AND IL B THEIR FOR U LOKS UP AND SUD3NLEY TEH PARAEPTS DONT SEM SO LARG3!11!!1 WTF AV3RYTHNG SI MOVNG SLOWER H3 SI CALM3R!111!11! LOL HIS THOUGHTS ORGANIEZ!11!!!1!! H3 NEDS 2 GAT 2 THOSE 2WERS H3 NEDS 2 S2P THEM FROM FIRNG
HA!111! WTF GETS UP AND HE RUNS HA RUNS AS HARD AND AS FAST AS HIS L3GS WIL CARY HIM!11!!1! WTF LOL HE FELS TEH STNG FROM TEH ARE GONG IN AND OUT OF HIS LUNGS AND FELS TEH SAND SHIFT UNDARN3ATH HIS FET!11!!11! WTF LOL BFORE H3 REALIEZS IT HE SI AT DA WIER!11!11 WTF H3 SI WATCHNG AS ANOTHAR LEIUTENANT TELS TH3M 2 GO THROUGH TEH BRAACH IN DA WIER IN2 TEH NO MANS LAND!1!11 WTF LOL HE SI AFRADE BUT HE THOUGHT OF HER AND RAN
H3!!111!111 OMG WTF LOL THOUGHT OF HER DURNG TEH CHARGE AND H3 THOUGHT OF H3R WHAN HE CAPTURAD DA 2W3R!11!1!!11 WTF LOL ABOVE AL ELS3 H3 THOUGHT OF HER!!!!!1!! OMG WTF LOL
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I find this shtick much more annoying than the post itself, find a new 'thing'
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100867
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THE S3A SPRAY MAED AL OF THERE CLOTH3S AND EQUIPMANT WET!111!!!11 OMG WTF IT WAS DA SORT OF WET TAHT SOAEKD THOROUGH UR SKIN AND IN2 UR V3RY SU TEH SORT OF WET TAHT MAED THEM THINK THAY WUD NEV3R GET DRY
HE!!1!1!! LOK3D AROUND AND SAW TEH SCAERD FAECS OF HIS COMRAEDS HIS BROTHERS IN ARMS!!!1! LOL THEY WHO WERE SUPOS3D 2 B MAN LOKED MORA LIEK SCAERD CHILDR3N!!!!!11 WTF LOL TEH BOY SITNG ON HIS LAFT TURN3D GREN AND HEAEVD!1!11!!!! OMG THES SET OF A CHANE THROUGH OUT TEH BOAT 3V3RYON3 WAS SIK AND SCAERD!1!!1! HE WAS TIERD AND AFRADE AND HA WISHED HA CUD REMEMBR TEH LAST TIEM H3 SAW DA SUN!!!1! OMG LOL HE THOUGHT HARD AND TREID 2 RAMAMBR DA TIEM TAHT HE FALT DRY
IT!1!!11 OMG WTF WAS A WARM SUM3R DAY!!1!1 OMG HE WAS WIT HER TH3Y WARA HAPY!!1!!!1 WTF HE R3M3MBRED HER WARM EMBRAEC TEH LUV TAHT SHA HAD FOR HIM!1!1!!!11 WTF HA RAMEMBR3D LYNG WIT HER AND GIGLNG ABOUT THEYRE LOVE!1111!1 OMG HE R3M3MBRED TELNG HER TAHT THEIRS WAS TEH ONLEY LUV IN TEH WORLD
H3!11!!!!11 WTF LOL RAM3MBRAD TEH ON3 NIGHT IN TEH WODS!1!11 OMG LOL SH3 CLIMBD DA OLD WILOW AND WATE3D FOR HIM!1!1! LOL TH3Y KIS3D!1!!111 OMG LOL HE WAS HAPY TH3N!!!!!11! OMG WTF LOL SHE 2LD HIM SOMETHNG THEN SHA 2LD HIM...
FIEV!!1!!!1!!!!!!!1!1!111!1!!11!!!11!1!!1!!11 OMG WTF LOL MINIETS!!!!11!1 OMG WTF H3 WAS SHAEKN AWAEK!!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL TEH BOAT WAS IN MORE CHOP NOW AND PAOPLA WER3 GATNG GREN3R AND GRENER!1!111!! PERIODICALY A SHEL WUD LAND NAAR THEM AND TEH WHOL3 BOAT WUD SHAEK!11!!!!1 OMG WTF LOL H3 HOPED 2 GOD TAHT HE WUD MAEK IT AND HA HOPAD 2 GOD TAHT HE WUD SE HER AGANE
ON3!!!1!1! MINUT3!!1!1! WTF EVERYONE WAS G3TNG R3ADY OR AS R3ADY AS TH3Y CUD!11!!! WTF LOL TEH LEIUTENANT WAS GIVNG ORDERS TAHT HE CUD NOT UNDERSTAND TAHT HE WUD NOT UND3RSTAND
IF!!1!! W3 G3T SEPARAETD LOK FOR MA SADE TEH EAEGR LEIUTENANT I WIL B MOVNG UP TEH BACH ACORDNG 2 PLAN!1!!111 OMG FOLOW ME AND KEP UR WITS ABOUT U!1!1!!111 OMG WTF SON AS DA LEIUTENANT FINISHED HIS SPECH TEH BOAT S2PED AND DA GANGPLANK FAL!1111!! HE CUD ONLEY THINK OF IT AS SOME SORT OF NIGHTMAER!111!!1 OMG LARGE 2WERS THROWNG LITLE PEICES OF MOLTEN LAAD DOWN UPON 3VERY ON3 AND SHELS MAKNG TEH MOST HORIBLE SOUNDS BLEW HOL3S DA SIEZ OF M3N IN DA SAND!1111! WTF EVERYONA WAS RUSHNG OUT OF TEH BOAT AND 2WARD DA 2W3RS AND 2WARD THERE D3ATHS
HE!!!!!111 OMG WTF LOL LOKED AT DA LEIUTENANT AND IMADIAETLEY R3GRET3D IT!!1!1! WTF HIS L3AEDR WAS NOTHNG MORA THEN D3AD WEIGHT AFTER TEH INITIAL CHARG3 OUT OF DA BOAT!1!1! OMG WTF LOL AS H3 LOK3D AROUND HE SAW TAHT ALMOST AL OF HIS BROTHERS IN ARMS W3R3 DEAD AL VICTIMS OF TEH 2W3RS AND THERE GUNS
HE!11111!! JUMP3D IN2 ONE OF DA HOLES AND CREID!!!!11 OMG H3 CREID B/C OF HIS FREINDS AND HE CREID B/C THEYRE WAS NO HOPA!1!!!!! OMG WTF HOW CUD THEIR B?!!!!! OMG H3 WAS BY HIMS3LF FACNG OF AGANEST AN EN3MY HE HAD NEVER SEN
TH3N!1!!!! OMG LOL HE R3MEMBRED WUT SHE SADE H3 R3MEMBRED WUT HIS ANG3L SADE 2 HIM!1!11!! LOL U LISTEN 2 M3 U FIGHT TH3M U FIGHT TH3M AS LONG AS U CAN SADE CHRISTINA HIS ANG3L!1!!1!!11 WHEN UR R SCAERD THINK OF M3 AND WH3N U WANT 2 QUIT THINK OF M3 AND IN SOME WAY IL KNOW AND IL B THEIR FOR U LOKS UP AND SUD3NLEY TEH PARAEPTS DONT SEM SO LARG3!11!!1 WTF AV3RYTHNG SI MOVNG SLOWER H3 SI CALM3R!111!11! LOL HIS THOUGHTS ORGANIEZ!11!!!1!! H3 NEDS 2 GAT 2 THOSE 2WERS H3 NEDS 2 S2P THEM FROM FIRNG
HA!111! WTF GETS UP AND HE RUNS HA RUNS AS HARD AND AS FAST AS HIS L3GS WIL CARY HIM!11!!1! WTF LOL HE FELS TEH STNG FROM TEH ARE GONG IN AND OUT OF HIS LUNGS AND FELS TEH SAND SHIFT UNDARN3ATH HIS FET!11!!11! WTF LOL BFORE H3 REALIEZS IT HE SI AT DA WIER!11!11 WTF H3 SI WATCHNG AS ANOTHAR LEIUTENANT TELS TH3M 2 GO THROUGH TEH BRAACH IN DA WIER IN2 TEH NO MANS LAND!1!11 WTF LOL HE SI AFRADE BUT HE THOUGHT OF HER AND RAN
H3!!111!111 OMG WTF LOL THOUGHT OF HER DURNG TEH CHARGE AND H3 THOUGHT OF H3R WHAN HE CAPTURAD DA 2W3R!11!1!!11 WTF LOL ABOVE AL ELS3 H3 THOUGHT OF HER!!!!!1!! OMG WTF LOL
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had tastier shits than this.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeh
lol @ mud
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I have indeed seen better
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-23 12:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The sea spray was wet, the sort of wet that made you salty and wet and wet like water from the sea that makes you wet and salty and sprayed with wet water from the wet salty sea.