For just one comment a day you can give this boy a job... (1285 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.19 on 74 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by StereoTypist (View user info) at 2007-10-24 21:14:14 EDT
My official job title here at <insert company name> is Junior Operations Manager - or JOM for short. As the JOM one of my favorite "features" of this job is that I get to interview, hire and fire my own personal assistants.
I personally have two assistants at my disposal. "Linda" (name changed to protect the innocent) is wonderful. She's been with me for almost a year now and is probably the best assistant I have ever had.
My other assistant, however, we'll call her "Kim" is terrible with a capital "Suck". Kim spends more time chatting on the phone and on AIM than doing any real work. When I approached her with this dilemma she, of course, denied it. I guess she didn't realize that we have a wonderful little program at our company that allows supervisors to "hack" into the computers of our subordinates and view what's happening on their screens live.
Last week we let Kim go.
So this week has been filled with dozens of resumes and interviews. This afternoon I met with a young man by the name of "Jay" who blew me away. He was articulate, polite, had one of those great personalities and an award-winning resume. In my mind I was sure that this young man would be receiving an offer from our Human Resources department to start his new career with us.
That was, of course, until Linda came into my office about two hours after I had given her Jay's resume. Apparently Linda had decided to take Mr. Jay's resume and, on a whim, did a search for him on Myspace. Posted below are just a few of the images she found of this young man on his profile.
I pose this question to you Uberers because, as you are well aware, I find your opinions not only funny but quite poignant.
Should I hire this young man? His fate is in your hands.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-11-11 00:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just invite him back in, and have all those pictures on your computer screen where he can see them.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 04:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-25 09:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-10-25 09:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he does in his personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you. What he has on his Myspace page has absolutely nothing to do with you. If he aced the interview, what do you care how he is in his personal life? Why did your other "minion" take it upon herself to search myspace for him? Clearly she's a backstabber. And what the fuck kind of piece of shit boss are you that you're going to leave it up to this site full of retards to decide this?
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2007-10-27 20:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If the job of your assistants is so be gay wrist-slitting slaves who beg to suck your dick, this douchebag is your man.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-10-27 20:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is probably bullshit, butttt....
I say you hire him on the condition that he comes into work and dresses like that every day.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-27 18:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wouldn't let this tard take out my garbage.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-27 18:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The kid's harmless. Just give him the job.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-10-27 17:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I say do it. If he appeared professional at the interviews and whatever, that's all that matters. Let people cut loose on their own time in their own way.
Jebus judges.
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-10-26 22:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I seriously want to punch this faggot in the face.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-10-26 20:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LMAO!!! I work with this dude's mom. I had no clue he was hardcore emo at heart LMFAOAGZADOITUBITCH
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-26 19:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Hire that homo.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2007-10-26 19:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hire him. i would do it just to be able to send the global "Welcome so and so to our company" and then put all the pictures at the bottom.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-26 18:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Graham (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
seriously, what kind of adult goes around trying to dig up dirt and gossip like this? you're a child. if someone can perform on the job, who gives a flying fuck what they do with their personal time if it's not hurting anyone?
you're a loathsome person.
I would have thought for someone like you portray your self to be, security would be a serious issue. No?
======================================================================
what does a boss digging up myspace pages have to do with that?
people that have my job are investigated by FBI agents. the agents interview people that know the person. they look for things like criminal records. they try to find out things that are a real concern when it comes to personality traits. wearing makeup and spiking your hair in pictures on myspace are not one of these concerns. they are looking for things like drug abuse, lying, stealing, etc.
so you can fuck right off.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-10-25 18:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a) a junior operations manager in no way shape or form has directly underneath him/her 2 personal assistants. nowhere in the universe is that the case. you're lying. you're a personal assistant.
b) you're probalby an alter, who looks like the person in those pictures.
c) if by chance this is for real, nobody should ever hire YOU, based on the fact that you're doing exactly this.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who gives a shit what he does in his free time unless it affects his job performance?
hire him, if it turn out to be a mistake you can always fire him
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-25 15:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
basically what it comes down to is many of us have stuff in our personal lives that might not be suited to our professional lives. hell, this site for sure is not supposed to be part of my professional l.
~Brdn_Nkd
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-25 14:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What corn nugget said. You can't really make fun of the guy for being a tard on the internet when you are being a tard on the internet.
I think you are an alter, though, so I'll hedge my bets and say fuck off.
Apologies if you aren't though.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-10-25 13:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck yeah, you should hire him. This dude rates a solid 11 on the unintentional comedy scale...think of all the fun you'll have.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-25 12:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I had to fire a mock suicidal employee. She blamed me for her third failed attempt.
I will never hire anyone who answers "it's not my fault"
to anything. period
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-25 10:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if he keeps it professional in the office, who the fuck cares what he does in his spare time?
There are plenty of execs with dirtier closets than this dude, I'm sure.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-25 10:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What if YOU were trying for a job and someone found uber? What would they think of a chick who posted pictures of a prospective employee on the web, without that persons permission? What would they think of a chick who is apparently letting random people on the internet make hiring decisions?
Etc
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-10-25 10:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
His personal life is his own, and has nothing to do with his work.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-25 09:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-10-25 09:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he does in his personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you. What he has on his Myspace page has absolutely nothing to do with you. If he aced the interview, what do you care how he is in his personal life? Why did your other "minion" take it upon herself to search myspace for him? Clearly she's a backstabber. And what the fuck kind of piece of shit boss are you that you're going to leave it up to this site full of retards to decide this?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-10-25 09:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he does in his personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you. What he has on his Myspace page has absolutely nothing to do with you. If he aced the interview, what do you care how he is in his personal life? Why did your other "minion" take it upon herself to search myspace for him? Clearly she's a backstabber. And what the fuck kind of piece of shit boss are you that you're going to leave it up to this site full of retards to decide this?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-25 08:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If anyone thnks this post is the truth than Uber is dumber than I thought!
duhhhhh come across a slightly odd emo guy on myspace, ooh i know I can make a post out of this, hehe imagine if I had to interview him.
Transparent shite post.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-25 08:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why is linda going on myspace during work hours and technically aren't there HR rules against you even making this part of your decision to hire the kid.
what people do outside of work is really none of your business.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-25 08:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck for even having to ask if you should hire him or not. You said he's awesome, and he obviously didn't dress like that during the interview, so who gives a rat's ass what he does on his own time?
Submitted by casual_sloring_anyone (user info) at 2007-10-25 08:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta love little emo myspace kids... Hire him if he doesn't show up looking remotely close to anything that ghey. Second interview?? Haha.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-25 07:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hire him. He needs love.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-25 05:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MAKEUP AND HAIR GEL?!? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO??
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-25 05:37:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I dont understand you geeks, im down with my homies in ma hood.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-25 05:20:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So he's into ICP and looking like a freak on his days off? So fuck.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-10-25 04:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If this is true, if, you should be shot on the spot.
You are no manager, you're a menace.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-25 04:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-25 04:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
stupid question...if he's qualified you hire him
why? because you can probably low-ball his starting salary until he proves his worth
and...i'm sure he represents a demographic that's lacking in your mighty company if it revolves around sales
get busy sucking dick, or get busy making money
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-25 03:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
okay i read the post so my serious response is "hire him you fucking idiot." posts like this make me not want to come back here anymore.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-25 03:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
didnt read the post, but fuck the kid in the pictures. if thats the person we are giving a job, we should lock him in his office and burn the building down.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-25 03:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"This afternoon I met with a young man by the name of "Jay" who blew me"
hahahahaha.
fag.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-25 03:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't get it. If he is qualified for, and wants the job, hire him. Why should you care what he does in his private life.
That being said, this whole post is probably shenanigans anyway.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2007-10-25 01:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He tattooed God onto his pec... might have a little narcissism...
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-10-25 01:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This alter is now officially in the shitter.
So let it be written. So let it be done.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-10-25 01:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pillowcase (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!
-2DIE EMO!!!!!!!!!!
KILL YOU EVIL ELMO EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Hayte You
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What an EMOtional filled response.
Submitted by Graham (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
seriously, what kind of adult goes around trying to dig up dirt and gossip like this? you're a child. if someone can perform on the job, who gives a flying fuck what they do with their personal time if it's not hurting anyone?
you're a loathsome person.
I would have thought for someone like you portray your self to be, security would be a serious issue. No?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
he is gay...
but not as gay as you.
Fag.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've come to believe that nothing here is real.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't get it. If he is qualified for, and wants the job, hire him. Why should you care what he does in his private life.
That being said, this whole post is probably shenanigans anyway.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hire him. he'll dose everyone with ex at your company christmas party so I say double bonus!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
seriously, what kind of adult goes around trying to dig up dirt and gossip like this? you're a child. if someone can perform on the job, who gives a flying fuck what they do with their personal time if it's not hurting anyone?
you're a loathsome person.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-10-25 00:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he does in his personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you. What he has on his Myspace page has absolutely nothing to do with you. If he aced the interview, what do you care how he is in his personal life? Why did your other "minion" take it upon herself to search myspace for him? Clearly she's a backstabber. And what the fuck kind of piece of shit boss are you that you're going to leave it up to this site full of retards to decide this?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-10-24 23:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Like holy wow. Monitoring software. What a l33t "h4x0rz" you are. Lol0rz.
The kid's a goth-emo faggot. You're a suit-wearing dipshit with an ego that's more inflated than the American dollar. I don't know which is worse, so I'd have to reccomend you both kill yourselves.
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-24 23:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hire him and set those pictures as the desktop background on the computer he'll be using.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He's certainly no worse than my co-workers, or even my boss. I say hire him.
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i hate employers like you. Dont judge people on what they do at home, thats their buisness not yours.
What makes you any better by the way? Correct me if im wrong, but aren't you on Uber during your spare time? I'd say just being affiliated with this place is worse than any of those pictures.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Where do I begin with this?
Oh yeah.....
You're an idiot. Or an alter. But both.
That was the last two minutes of reading I'll ever do on another of your posts. What a waste of time.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One can overlook rainbow-hued eye makeup, playing with knives, and possible vampirism, but Insane Clown Posse is indeed beyond the pale.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah, the post
hire the thing
then you can makes posts about your gay fucking adventures together.
get it
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he does in his personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you. What he has on his Myspace page has absolutely nothing to do with you. If he aced the interview, what do you care how he is in his personal life? Why did your other "minion" take it upon herself to search myspace for him? Clearly she's a backstabber. And what the fuck kind of piece of shit boss are you that you're going to leave it up to this site full of retards to decide this?
=====================
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAhAHA......hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a few of my friends who have myspace pages have some absolute shocker photos of me on them
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he does in his personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you. What he has on his Myspace page has absolutely nothing to do with you.
-----
Spoken like a true gingerbread.
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What he does in his personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you. What he has on his Myspace page has absolutely nothing to do with you. If he aced the interview, what do you care how he is in his personal life? Why did your other "minion" take it upon herself to search myspace for him? Clearly she's a backstabber. And what the fuck kind of piece of shit boss are you that you're going to leave it up to this site full of retards to decide this?
Submitted by pillowcase (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!
-2DIE EMO!!!!!!!!!!
KILL YOU EVIL ELMO EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Hayte You
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One can overlook rainbow-hued eye makeup, playing with knives, and possible vampirism, but Insane Clown Posse is indeed beyond the pale.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-10-24 22:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's wearing an "Insane Clown Posse" shirt. Cut him loose.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's wearing an "Insane Clown Posse" shirt. Cut him loose.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't mention it
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:50:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I think all of Ubersite can attest that I am an absolutely peerless judge of character.
-----
This made me go, "Tee hee."
I feel gay now. Thanks, Jeanneee.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's the dealio: you know this stuff about the guy. If you hire him, you can't (honestly) use it against him in any way in the future. He put it on hos Myspace account in a way that made it findable by your minion, so he's not ashamed of it. He WILL eventually bring it to work. How will you react? Remember, you can't say you didn't know.
Pass on this one and hire someone who's utterly closetted. Two words: Plausible Deniability.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He looks like a consummate professional to me. And I think all of Ubersite can attest that I am an absolutely peerless judge of character.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hire him
the picture of him with a flower tucked behind his ear is wonderful
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The last two people I've hired have been women who are covered with tattoos and multiple body piercings; both have bull rings. One has a partially shaved head, with her remaining hair colored purple sometimes, colored green sometimes. They've both worked out pretty well.
That being said, no, I would not hire this guy. He's a dude.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hire him. As long as he doesn't pose with knives at work. He apparently can separate outside and work behavior based on your interview experience.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hire the emo cunt!
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-10-24 21:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes. Hire him simply so that you can have the pleasure of firing his douchey ass the next day for some arbitrary reason.