I Had A Date Today - or - "Why I Had Breakfast With A Married Egyptian" (819 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.66 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Stephanie (View user info) at 2007-10-28 00:04:27 EDT
I don't date people.
I've had one boyfriend in my life, and that relationship was six months of crappy drama that was mostly induced by the fact that we were in our early twenties and well, we were both a little crazy. All the men in my life are gay, except a couple here and there, who all live across country and have become nothing more than text/email/chat acquaintances as of late.
For the most part, I'm content with not being in a relationship. Yes, sometimes I feel that twinge of jealousy when I see my friends with their partners, or I see a couple holding hands whilst walking down the street. And maybe I have felt my biological clock tick once or twice this year, but I just beat it down with a lead pipe until it goes undetected. But I know that I don't have to put up with someone else's bullshit, their idiosyncrasies, the way they steal the sheets, or how they slurp their coffee and have the same thing for breakfast every morning.
That, and I'm absolutely terrified of men.
But a boy apparently likes me. Well, I guess at the age of 26, I should call him a man. He works down the street from me. He just moved here from Egypt five or six months ago. His name is Shehad, he's almost 30. He's tall, thin, and has an accent, which I love, and he's got nice olive skin. Initially, he gave me a hand-painted picture on Papyrus of two Egyptian women. It took me two days to give him my number, and I did it after I got out of the gym, all sweaty and gross. But he still asked me out. Breakfast the next day, he'll call me at 8 am.
6:15 this morning he starts calling me, I'm assuming just to be funny. I finally wake up at 7:15 and he convinces me to get out of bed. He tells me I don't have to worry about the hair and makeup, he just wants to see me for me. Sweet enough comment, so with burning eyes I get in the shower, throw my still wet hair in a ponytail and head to our designated meeting place, this bagel shop/deli near our apartments.
We go in, and he immediately says the smell is going to make him ill if we eat in there. I can't smell anything but the robust scent of coffee, and I want some, now. Now, I swear it's a Middle Eastern male thing, because my family are all from Lebanon, and all men have that super sensitive smell issue, too. And there's no place to eat outside, and I'm not going anywhere that's not public, so we go to my car.
We have great conversation. I love talking to people who are from other countries, they're generally more aware about politics and the way the world works. They've have more experience with different cultures and are more open-minded. I learned a lot about Egypt. He's got his degree in Commerce. He's owned his own business. He wants to join the military and become a translator for Arabic and English speaking countries, and eventually become a cop, and I've never wanted to marry anyone more than a cop. They make me feel safe. It's great.
So everything looks good on paper. He's a little too touchy for me, but I'm hypersensitive about people touching me anyhow, especially men that I don't know. Overall, he's nice, he's intelligent, he can hold down a conversation, he's got a great personality, he's taller than me, he's got his Green Card (hey, I was concerned), he's educated, he's got goals, he's Muslim, but not radical extremist, he seems to have respect for women (also a concern of mine, looking at the men in my family), and I like him. So what could be wrong with this picture?
He's married. Says he's getting a divorce, as he's in a loveless marriage based on lies from his wife, like her age and kids she had and such. Who knows. I told him I wouldn't date him unless he were single, not separated, not in the middle of a divorce, but single.
*sigh*
I really liked him, too.
Anyone have a similar experience?
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds to me like you have chosen wisely.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All i would have to do is spit in your face and you would have my pants down in a second.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who cares?
not very entertaining either.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
do you even really have to ask?
~Brdn_Nkd
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-29 04:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So yeah...
I'd recommend finding guys through t'internet. They will, I'm afraid, be the kind of guy who eats the same thing day in day out, indeed they may not be a particular fan of 'meals' at all. Furthermore you may have to look for a while to find one you like but you'll have your pick of them all and in time I'm sure you'll find someone compatable with your funny habits.
I'd avoid meeting people in real life. It is the province of real people who don't have bits missing, you know?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pretty sure he just wanted to fuck you...
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-29 02:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"All the men in my life are gay"
you must have something rubberized, swinging between your legs
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-29 01:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Amaleecan gills are easy!
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-29 01:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He sounds like a fucking creep.
Once a Pakistani cab driver took me to his house and tried to fuck me. He smelled like frankincense.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-28 21:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't really like this, plus I'm over the board racist when it comes to Arabs. Die Arabs, die.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-28 18:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I don't date people.
I've had one boyfriend in my life, and that relationship was six months of crappy drama that was mostly induced by the fact that we were in our early twenties and well, we were both a little crazy. All the men in my life are gay, except a couple here and there, who all live across country and have become nothing more than text/email/chat acquaintances as of late."
Translation: You're fat.
I didn't read this.
I don't read things written by fatties.
Fatty.
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-10-28 15:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-10-28 01:55:35 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to have a goat when I was little, he'd stand on the washing machine in the garage waiting for me to get home from school- he ate a box of Tide once, just the box- and would butt my dogs, and could dig holes just like they did.
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God, now I REALLY want a goat, mainly to watch him fart soap bubbles.
Well, I told him I wasn't going to date him unless he was divorced. And since, no phone calls, no texts, nothing, so I guess that's that.
I'm just going for the goat next time. :-)
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2007-10-28 15:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-28 15:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
suck me, beautiful
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well you sound like quite the catch you OCD ridden freak.
Call Dr. Finklestein and get him to up the prozac.
cunt.
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-10-28 13:47:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Never date an egyptian.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-28 12:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't be afraid of men. They're nice.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-28 12:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You must be quite desperate and not very good looking if all you can find is a married terrorist.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-28 10:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-28 10:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's you thoughts on pre-marital showing me your hole?
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HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Best review I've seen in a while Shlongster.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-28 10:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's you thoughts on pre-marital showing me your hole?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-28 09:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Noble effort, but this reeks of meh-ness.
Other problems I found were the typographical errors, the fact that you make a statement such as:
"I love talking to people who are from other countries, they're generally more aware about politics and the way the world works."
The lack of any real draw for what is largely a male audience, and your lack of understanding of foreign cultures.
That "too touchy" thing is likely a result of being from another culture. American culture is a "gimme room" kind of culture, in that we don't generally hug or kiss anyone outside of our closest friends and family, but many, if not most other cultures have no problem with being close to a complete stranger.
Muslims can practice polygamy without stigma. It's tolerated in Islamic society, just as long as the man can afford to support both wives, and treat both equally.
In fact, if you'd added some fiction to this, in the form of how you ended up hooking up with him and his wife, in the form of a menege-a-trois (despite going against Islamic scripture, but this IS fiction), I think this wouldn't have been quite so bad as I percieved it to be, and I probably would have been crawling up your leg like a homesick abortion with puppy dog eyes telling you how awesome you are.
Keep that in mind next time you post.
Also, I may be wrong on any or all of these counts.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-28 05:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are goats not associated with Satan?
I once saw a pikey milk a goat. From behind. It looked like he was raping it.
Donkeys. Now there is an animal I love.
I want to run a donkey sanctuary.
I quite like sheep too.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-10-28 04:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to have a goat when I was little, he'd stand on the washing machine in the garage waiting for me to get home from school- he ate a box of Tide once, just the box- and would butt my dogs, and could dig holes just like they did.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-28 04:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-28 04:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-28 04:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"he's got goals"
I thought this said, "he's got goats" and I immediately thought, "Marry him!" Goats are awesome, if fantastically destructive.
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Goats ARE awesome.
As for the post: I agree, wait until he's single. You don't know him enough to know whether or not he's a lying bastard.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-10-28 04:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was about to say almost exactly what thecaes said below, he saved me the time. (Also, if you can afford it, buy a background check- after he's single to make sure he's really single.)
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-10-28 03:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you should give him a shot once you're sure the separation is underway...if you like him as much as you say you do. Maybe you should spend some more time with him and see if you truly like him or not first.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-28 03:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-10-28 01:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stereotyping would be me saying that he was a terrorist who ONLY came to the US to fly a plane into a building and I wasn't going to date him because he was going to make me wear a jihad because I'm a woman.
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It's called a burka, by the way.
Also, this post made me grind my teeth. You smell like prey.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-10-28 02:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-28 15:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You sound like a real catch, fuckhead.
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LOL!
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-28 01:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't care about being "PC." You suck and I hate you.
And thanks for marrying a terrorist. He's just using you for an alibi. Obviously, you hate America and freedom.
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-10-28 01:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, how am *I* stereotyping him?
The man is from Egypt. Not of Egyptian descent. His grandfather didn't come here on a fucking boat and had his father who had him in the US. I'm basing all my "broad rationalizations" on what I've seen from my own family of Arabic descent, especially of the men in my family and the families of Arab friends I have as a pattern. And try READING the fucking post, assholes. Stereotyping would be me saying that he was a terrorist who ONLY came to the US to fly a plane into a building and I wasn't going to date him because he was going to make me wear a jihad because I'm a woman.
And what I look like REALLY has nothing to do with whether I like a "terrorist", but nice job trying to remain PC yourself.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You sound like a real catch, fuckhead.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
filename.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"he's got goals"
I thought this said, "he's got goats" and I immediately thought, "Marry him!" Goats are awesome, if fantastically destructive.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow...I can't count the generalities and stereotypes on all my fingers.
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You must be quite desperate and not very good looking if all you can find is a married terrorist.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See, it's be wrong to call him egyptian specifically, unless he's actually from egypt.
The PC Nazis would say you've made a broad generalization, just above the term "of terrorist descent."
He apparently is, so you're safe from the PC Nazis for now. You have to watch those PC Nazis. Once they label you, you're fucked for life, as far too many people listen to Nazis.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-10-28 00:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet he's a terrorist