Over the river and through the woods to Razor's and Firefly's house I go (515 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.42 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uncle B. (View user info) at 2007-10-28 02:52:26 EDT
Our story begins a few days ago with Anansie's chance spotting of Firefly at Cary's Crossroads (as found here http://www.ubersite.com/m/112658) and the subsequent invitation to Razor and Firefly's Halloween party.
Going into this I was not sure what to think. Was I walking into a trap? Was this some Jew trick of Razor's to get back at my German blood for the Holocaust? What in the hell am I walking into?
Other than a brief conversation with Razor on the phone while on a smoke break, I knew nothing of the situation I was about to find myself in.
I had heard rumors, and read stories about them. I've seen them "playing" on colorful monstrosities and swinging from various devices and shrieking at ungodly pitches, they had inflitrated everywhere...children.
There were children at this party.
Only I didn't know it yet.
After leaving my office I stopped and grabbed a bit to eat, and six-pack of my favorite barely-pop: Newcastle Brown Ale I made my way from my office in Raleigh's west side, and drove till the streets were paved in what appeared to golden colored skulls and I arrived in Satan's Southern Suburban Paradise, otherwise known as Cary, North Carolina....Not that there is anything wrong with Cary, NC. it just looked really cool to use Satan with some alliteration.
Being an import myself, although not nearly so Northern as my New York friends, I am not as aware of the influx of "Immigrants" to the Triangle. Hell, I'm learning spanish so I don't have to suffer trying to decipher shitty english. My own parents moved to the Triangle in back in '95 (was a little bit before that whoel Y2K fiasco where the world was sposed to end...but didn't) part of the first wave of folks escaping the northeast corridor. So I am mighty tolerant of those with like minds that wish to escape the high cost of living and flee southward and still remain within 6 hours of the Important Cities.
I digress.
I arrived at the home of Razor and Firefly, I parked across the street and made my way to the the three story palace. Seeing no obvious traps, I rang the doorbell, only minorly perplexed by the dismembered doll leg hanging from the front door in place of a conventional knocker.
I rang the bell again, hearing what could only be described as maniacal laughter from the premises, I was unsure if I was at the correct abode. Maybe I made a wrong turn at was at a hous ethat had the same house number but was on a different street. Having never met Razor or Firefly in person...how would I know? If someone came to the door, I would assume it was them right? What if I was at the wrong house, and just walked in all friendly and chatterboxing and after and uncomfortable pause realize I was in the wrong place and have to make my exit azs quietly as possible. (Of course the alternate scenario if I had not been so intent on meeting R&F would be dependent on how hot the chick at the wrong party were)
So I whip out the handy dandy miracle of modern technology cell phone and place a quick call to the number I believed would get me in touch with the RIGHT party.
Razor answered and shortly thereafter opened the door I had been so futilely ringing the doorbell of.
Having read so much of Razor's writing as well as his commentaries on other people's work, I felt that I knew him right away. I hadn't felt more comfortable meeting someone from the internet in over 20 years. (Note for Razor: it really struck me as odd how much you and my best friend Jon resemble each other...your respective wives may disagree with me, but when Jon and his wife come to visit I fully intend on having a get together of sorts and you and firefly are invited).
I received the grand tour of the home, including a demonstration of the disembodied skull in the guest bathroom shower, and a "how to open the garage door by pushing this button" lecture from Razor's eldest daughter.
I won't bore you with the details of the event the party, but instead I will provide the one image that will forever stand out in my mind: Cinderella dancing with a giant chicken.
The evening wound down, and the other guests departed and it was then when the youngest of Razor's clan decided she wanted to get to know the strange man dressed in black.
"Can I wear your hat?"
"Sure"
As much as I disliked being the last the arrive and the last to leave the party, this young lady found my biggest weakness, a cute smile and a giggle. I made two new friends this evening and finally got to meet two people I feel like I have know for ages for the first time.
Overall, it was a good night and it made up for the other tree being in my yard that wasn't supposed to be when I got home from work last night.
User Reviews
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-10-30 20:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was invited but I had people show up at my house with free liquor so you can guess why I didn't show.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like fun...for us old, settle-down types, anyway. :)
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-28 09:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta love meeting internet people.
It's a grab bag of personalities, because who you are in the real-world rarely mirrors who you are online.
I am me. What I mean to say is I pretty much am the same person on-line as I am in real life.
~Brdn_Nkd
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So no one got drunk, there was no sexy time and you gve your hat to a minor.
Well fuck you, I dont have a hat.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-28 23:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey...there were children present..
I thought I explained that.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-28 21:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking YAWN.
Razor should know better than to throw some kind of lame-o party that doesn't involve pot, naked wrestling, and awesomeness.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-28 20:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-28 15:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did you fuck her too or what?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait...an uber-get-together with no drama at all?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-28 11:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry for the proofreading errors...
Had several beers while I was there. I did try to take a few pictures, but the lighting was very poor.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-28 11:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I stopped reading because you stopped editing, proofreading, and fixing simple mistakes. If you can't be arsed to do present a proper post, I can't be arsed to read it. In short, eat my dick.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-28 09:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta love meeting internet people.
It's a grab bag of personalities, because who you are in the real-world rarely mirrors who you are online.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-28 09:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Needs photographic proof or this never happened.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-10-28 08:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No photos?
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-10-28 05:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didnt read it because I know your kind.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-28 04:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0