Keith (853 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ghola (View user info) at 2007-10-28 12:41:38 EDT
My aunt took me aside, but still in the kitchen where everyone could see, everyone gathered around in small groups, semi-circles, whispering and watching. She told me my uncle was on his way. I'd never seen him before and she explained that he and my father were identical twins and that they'd had a falling out years ago.
"Over what?" I asked.
"You'll have to ask him," she told me.
We were never very close to anyone one my father's side of the family. He never went to visit them and we never went to any sort of family gathering. He tried to take his mother camping with us or out to dinner, but she was--- difficult. She thought she was a secret agent who was going to report our family to the government for not sweeping up crumbs.
So I stood with my aunt's hands pressing down on my shoulders and everyone in the kitchen watching me. I knew, somehow at thirteen years old, that anything I did right then was okay. I could
A. Sit around with the relatives, eating cheese ball on Ritz crackers and dipping fried chicken in mashed potatoes and gravy, while everyone told me they knew how I felt
B. Slam doors and stomp and pitch a fit.
C. Go sit outside by myself, in the quiet, away from everyone.
The day after the funeral, I returned to school. I found my class had bought me flowers and balloons. There was no writing on the balloons. I wonder what it might have said. Happy "Your father is dead" Day? Then I had to carry them outside to the bus stop, wait in a long line of kids and ride the whole way home, keeping the balloons down so the driver could see. I wish I'd had the balls to refuse. To say No and walk out to the bus stop with my hands empty.
My uncle walked through our front door with his wife at his side and his daughter behind him. I remembered him when I saw him. Not because he was my father's identical twin. I remembered seeing him at my Aunt's house when I was a kid. I remember running up to him and throwing my arms around his neck, yelling, "Daddy, daddy." I was so excited to see him.
He'd laughed and told me, "I'm not your daddy."
When he spoke, I knew it was true. His voice was all wrong.
There were lots of differences between the two. My uncle had a split in the middle of his moustache and my father's went all the way across. My uncle wore contacts and my dad wore thick glasses, like square shaped magnifying glasses. Keith's clothes were wrong, things my father would have never worn, preppy junk that only kids wore.
I had nightmares about my father for a long time. I still have them a few times a year. At first, I dreamt he was still alive, that there'd been a mistake and he'd only gone away for a while, not died. Sometimes it'd turn out that he WAS really dead and this new man was an imposter, a bad man.
Then I started dreaming about him crawling out of the grave, his lips all dark purple and stiff with maggots swarming across his moustache.
And one day, it wasn't his voice in my dreams anymore. It was my uncle's voice. I couldn't remember my dad's voice. I tried, but there was nothing. The one thing I have left is the way he hugged me outside on our front porch when it was cold. He'd just gotten off work and his khaki jacket felt smooth and cool from the night air.
My uncle couldn't stand to tell me the truth about him and my father. He could only tell me that they had fought over a girl. Later I pieced it together from other relatives and my imagination. My father had walked in on my uncle and my father's first wife in bed together.
If I really try, I can remember my uncle at other times. I remember going to my great-grandfather's funeral with both my parents. We stood outside, near the grave and when it was over, my uncle approached us and tried to talk to my father. My father said, "I don't think so," and we got in our car and drove away.
My uncle and I wrote letters back and forth for a few months after the funeral, but he eventually quit replying. My mother finally told me that my aunt had told him it was strange for him to be corresponding with me. She'd gone on to suggest that maybe he was interested in my mother. Maybe he'd had the first wife and wanted a crack at the second one.
Sometimes I want to find him. I tried googling him, but there are so many results and I have no way of knowing which, if any, might be him. I don't know what I'd say to him anyway. He quit talking to me. He broke off contact and it's been nearly a decade since I've heard from him. I think I want to see him, only because he looks like my father, even if he is a cheap imitation.
I remember when my dad realized I'd learned to ride a bike without training wheels. I'd been doing it for weeks and he hadn't seen me because he worked odd shifts at the nuclear plant. He missed a lot of things.
User Reviews
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-11-15 12:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-11-11 12:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What is unique about your sentences? Your sentences are short and don't flow very well. You do have substance, but to me, becomes lost in this kind of stop & go atmosphere.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Job well done, gholette.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 12:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-04 11:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Liar...that was definitely +2 material...SNATCH BASKETS
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-29 18:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I get a good sense of the nostalgia you feel here.
A nice, emotional read.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-29 18:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for totalling bumming me out.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-29 13:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you get a "THAT'S FUCKED" t-shirt
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-28 23:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the compliment, Bubba. You guys are funny.
Benefactor? I have a weakness for starving artists, musicians,and geniuses with ambition issues.
hmmm I fit at least two of the three of those and may qualify for the the third too. what a confusing crap sentence.
~Brdn_Nkd
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-29 05:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if this is a true story? It'd explain a lot.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-29 04:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dammit, I *really* wanted to +2 this, but the ending just ruined it for me.
I mean, you did a great job with the meat of the story (excellent character development, even if it was a little bare-bones in the description department at times), but when I got to the end it felt like you were starting a second part. Then...nothing.
I now have literary blue balls. I hope you feel properly guilty.
Still, I don't know much about you, but this felt like non-fiction (at least, some of it). Glad you shared.
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-10-29 01:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Boy, that last little part killed it.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-28 23:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the compliment, Bubba. You guys are funny.
Benefactor? I have a weakness for starving artists, musicians,and geniuses with ambition issues.
We could go on a crime spree. Natural Born Killers meets Thelma and Louise meets Dexter. You in?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-28 21:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-28 20:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
licious, find me rich benefactors.
****
Benjamin E. Factor
437 W. Sahwatch Ave.
Powder Springs, GA 19007
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-28 21:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-28 19:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bubba, Sacrilicious was merely responding to a harmless dig with a touch of self-deprecation and wit, thus putting the matter to rest until you could come to her unneeded rescue like a one-legged knight in a china shop.
*****
Shut up, Shitboy. I'm well aware of what Saccy is doing, even more so than you, you brainless fool.
You are the master of self-defecation. You shit all over yourself on a regular basis.
Can you dig this?? GET OFF OF MY ASS, YOU FUCKING FOOL!!!
sheesh!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-28 21:18:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
la-la-la-la Ghola
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-28 20:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i don't know what i think of the end. but the rest was pretty great.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-28 20:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dunno how I feel about the inclusion of that last paragraph, but overall - this was excellent.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-28 20:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
licious, find me rich benefactors.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-28 19:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bubba, Sacrilicious was merely responding to a harmless dig with a touch of self-deprecation and wit, thus putting the matter to rest until you could come to her unneeded rescue like a one-legged knight in a china shop.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-28 19:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truth below.
******
Bullshit. I've read your work, Saccy, and you rock.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-28 19:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-28 17:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-28 16:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ghola auto -2.
****
Who is this prick? The Uniter's dumber brother?
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-28 16:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ghola auto -2.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-28 16:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-28 15:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Simon said
------
Kindly A) stop using my name or B) step off my dick. Thank you.
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-10-28 16:21:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderfully written.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-28 15:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Simon said
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truth below.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola - talent + hair = Sacrilicious
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-28 13:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-28 13:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm glad my dad's a fraternal twin. i think i'd have a mental break down if he died and i had to see his brother that i barely remembered.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-28 13:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reads as very touching in a weird way. I'll speak to it as if it's a work of non-fiction. This man you have every right not to respect and never knew very well is still family and is an odd, ghostly reminder of your dad, who never got to see you grow up. The abrupt ending sounds a little bit resentful (entirely understandable) that he wasn't there, even though you knew he needed to be away.
When I see my mom's sister, which (through my own fault) is not very often, it's like I'm seeing a ghost. I wonder if her face is how my mother's would look had she lived to that age. I wonder sometimes, deep down, if that's one reason I don't want to visit more often.
You were able to convey conflicting emotions here without being overtly emotional about it. That's not an easy way to write.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-28 13:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Much better.