My Trial By Fire (or Booze): Happy Halloween Uber! (912 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.15 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2007-10-29 03:02:29 EDT
This past Saturday ruled. In that sheer madness sorta way...
Let me explain.
Over the past two months, my buddy Wyl has been dragging me to a joint here in Kent called Club Khameleon every Wednesday. That's the day they hold Karaoke. Now, fortunately for everyone, I don't sing. (We don't want the baby Jaysis crying.) However, Wyl loves to belt out his sick renditions of classic metal tunes.
Karaoke during the middle of the week, as you can imagine, doesn't have that big of a pull. It's just something this place does to draw in some extra customers on their off days. (Mondays is Open Mic Night for musicians, Tuesday is, um... nothing.) Anyhow, the big nights are Thursday, Friday and Saturday - those are the nights that Club Khameleon is virtually the only place in town left to showcase live acts. Anything from Death Metal to Ska, Rap to Country, Electro-pop to Jam-Bands.
So during these past number of Wednesdays, I've come to know the manager Chris and the hot lil' bartender Jenna pretty well. I noticed that they didn't have a door guy Mon - Wed, so I asked about it. Seemed they felt they didn't need one, but they were a bit concerned about the upcoming Kent Halloween celebration. One bouncer was going to be off on Military training and the other had just put in his notice.
Score for me! Kinda.
Chris needed a guy, that was for sure, but the first available night was going to be that Kent Halloween; perhaps the BIGGEST party night in town all year. Excellent... *weep* To make matters worse, they didn't have any more staff shirts in my size, only tiny stuff. This was gonna be a problem. After telling Chris "NO, you can't simply cover me in stickers," I realized I could be a little creative. Taking the logo from the site, I inverted it, made it B&W and then printed it out on iron-on paper. I think, in the end, my manager was mad that my staff shirt was cooler looking than his.
Saturday Night. We've got the adorable young redhead Molly on the door, dressed as BatGirl. She's checking ID's and giving wristbands to those over 21, hand X's to those 18-20. Not far from her, is a regular patron simply known as "Big Dave" dressed as a filthy hippy. (Big Dave is a BIG muthafucka'!) We've got our two beautiful bartenders, Jenna & Tori who are dressed as a schoolgirl vampire and a 40's pinup girl, respectfully. The seductive Jessica is off to the side, made up as a Vegas showgirl, selling domestic bottles and the massive Bob walking about with a bloody face, keeping the peace. Out back we've got the cute lil' punk girl Margie watching the patio door and doing shots of 151 to keep warm. Ernie, (dressed as a zombie) one of the other managers is playing tonight, so he's doing his best to let Chris (who happens to have a fake bottle plunged into his bloody forehead) handle everything. This leave me to walk the whole floor, toss empty bottles and generally keep everything under control.
I'm pretty much keyed up and ready to beat someone to death.
Some weird solo act begins that consists of a guy, a keyboard and a lotta screaming. I'm all for experimental music, but, eh... no. Chris gives some of us these cheapy radios that have panic buttons on them. We program the channels and the tones for front & back house. As THE VAN BURENS go on, (some strange 70ish heavy rock act that were good but hard to describe) Chris and I discover the evil of these radios. It seems every time you even slightly bump them, the panic button goes off. Multiple time he and I were found racing through the club to the back patio, expecting to find Margie getting slaughtered, only to find her sitting there, radio on the table beside her. At least I think she felt safe after the third time this happened.
By the time SONIC CORE (a Beatles influenced, grunge-rock band) came on, there were a few individuals I had my eye on. One young man kept screaming obscenities for no apparent reason, but before I could get to him, Big Dave straightened him out. A guy dressed as a SuperSperm puked off the patio, but then magically vanished. A young woman in a cat costume was getting a bit too intoxicated, so we had to cut her off and when she started screaming, we offered to let her scream in the street - that shut her up. We also had a relatively large man dressed in fabulous drag who wouldn't stay off the god damn steps, but every time I went to go yell at him, he telepathically realized he should move.
We had gone through a decent amount of booze when HELL'S INFORMATION (distorted heavy psychedelic rock) took to the stage. Wanting to keep a clear head, I had consumed nothing but 'Red Fuel' all night, except for a shot of 151 with Margie. Some drunk tried to kiss Jessica and I was about to introduce him to the pavement outside, but she waved me off. The Fire Marshals came to supposedly verify our counts, but I think they just like to oogle the chicks.
Finally, the night ended somewhat anti-climatic. Lights came on for last call, then Big Dave roared "Get the FUCK out!!!" We had to physically remove one guy who could barely stand, but once he basically collapsed on the sidewalk - not our problem anymore. Clean up, count down the cash to get paid, do a quick shot, smoke a cigarette and we're gone.
When any of the bar regulars or my friends realized that my first night was THAT night; Kent Halloween, most of them gave me a look of pity. I had a blast. To the point that I almost felt bad about getting paid for it. I got the gig a couple of nights a week now and to me, it's gonna be great working with this crew.
I'm just still kinda bummed that I didn't get to smack any drunks down...
Oh, and check this nonsense... http://yebotv.com/play/WO1f017REG9
It's a short video on the Kent Halloween festivities.
User Reviews
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2007-10-30 03:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
made me remember the times I "accidentally" walked a guys head into the doorframe as I escorted him outta the clubs... Good times.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 19:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh, it was a little MORE than that, but it ended up working itself out.
Now I just need muthafuckaz to e-mail me back, yo!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-29 19:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're doing math, I know what the 2 close final scores were before midnight; I think I was the last to rate the round.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 18:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-29 14:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BUT WHAT OF GRUEBERFEST POST?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112623
________________________
I have a small commitee advising me on some last minute, minor issues...
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-10-29 16:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry I killed your post, Kaos.
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-10-29 14:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't have any parties to go to thise year.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-29 14:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BUT WHAT OF GRUEBERFEST POST?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112623
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-29 14:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-29 14:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-29 13:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
banannaphone costume?g
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-29 13:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FASCIST!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-29 12:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We had a party at my house
no one barfed
we finished a keg of "first amendment" and a bottle of 1800
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-29 12:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, they've been doing that here too... started charging admission, officers on horses, barricades,.... used to get crowds twice the size of this years. still good times.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 11:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I just tried to add a link to verify my statement below, but it would seem the link is too long and Bart hates that... or something.
ANYHOW...
No riots this year. Of course, they brought in Metro SWAT to watch over everything.
Fucking-a. SWAT???
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-29 11:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my halloween was certainly entertaining. In Madison it becomes a giant crazy party that has precipitated riots in past years. We get kids from MN and IL who come just for state street halloween. more than 34000 people bought tickets this year and that does not take into account all the other crazy parties everywhere. madness in 'Madtown'
~Brdn_Nkd
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 08:23:36 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate Halloween for so many reasons, oh so dont get me started.
I like CT
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I like you too. Wanna spoon?
Captain Planet certainly has gone quite ghey since the '80s.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you know I do find myself staring at the guy more than the girl but ummmm thats not cause im gay right, thats just cause he's a big guy.
uh oh
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The bottom left photo I find wonderfully disturbing on so many levels.
For instance: Level - 29
That's the level were Emission is so turned on by that pic, that he's been furiously jacking off to it all morning...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the banana phone guy, he looks a fun nerd. We would play dungeons and dragons all night and he would let me try his glasses on :)
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Introduce me to that big blonde (second picture down, left), she's got a touch of Tuesday Weld.
-song lyrics, in case this confuses you
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
anyway i dont know why your talking to me, thought I was too old.
bunny fiddler.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i have skinned a rabbit and et it but not this weekend.
although i did touch a bunny's boobs.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah katy skinned a rabbit and then ate it before hopping home and spraining her ankle, anyway spraining your ankle is like getting an owwwy on your thumb , it doesn't count unless your 5!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-29 08:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just still kinda bummed that I didn't get to smack any drunks down...
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Someone needs to learn a lil something about the law in Ohio. Namely that bouncers that allow someone to get drunk enough that they NEED a beatdown, then give it to them are doubly liable in a civil case and most bars' insurance won't cover it.
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actually it's the bartenders' jobs to stop people from getting too drunk. refusal of service if you appear intoxicated.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
proof that girl pants are great for finding the cock outline.
my saturday involved a sprained ankle! aka i had fun.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and KK
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate Halloween for so many reasons, oh so dont get me started.
I like CT
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 09:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Muddy & Sico - - Nah, just writing about that particular night. First night, big event, post some pictures. Honestly, if that evening was any indication of what things will be, especially on slower nights, I'll never have enough material to actually write a paragraph on.
BubbaEarl - - Uh, who are you again? Oh, that's right... nobody cares.
Hadley - - No, you're absolutely correct. However, on a night such as that, when an estimated 25,000 people were in attendance roaming the streets, things are a little different. They could very well come in hammered without the door person realizing how bad off they are. (We cut off quite a few that night) And there's a BIG difference between throwing a punch into some poor drunk's face and "accidently" walking him into the doorframe while escorting him out.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-29 08:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just still kinda bummed that I didn't get to smack any drunks down...
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Someone needs to learn a lil something about the law in Ohio. Namely that bouncers that allow someone to get drunk enough that they NEED a beatdown, then give it to them are doubly liable in a civil case and most bars' insurance won't cover it.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'm just still kinda bummed that I didn't get to smack any drunks down...".
Aw, man. You used to be an author and artist. Oh, well.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do not become the new loki and tell us all about your job. I, for one, did not give a shit about anything you just said and I'd like my time back please, plus tax.
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Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
why don't you just grow a set and start a blog then all your little captives can follow along and the rest of us can continue not giving a shit
===============
what they said
also, your overkill of "jaysis" around here makes me want to horribly disfigure your face and genitals with acid... and stuff your fat mouth full with pages from your book until you choke on your own words. and then i'd like to smash your sausage fingers with a hammer.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do not become the new loki and tell us all about your job. I, for one, did not give a shit about anything you just said and I'd like my time back please, plus tax.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
why don't you just grow a set and start a blog then all your little captives can follow along and the rest of us can continue not giving a shit
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For that Mario Kart get-up alone. And hot barmaids called Jenna.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then theyre even bigger fuckwits
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 06:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-29 06:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SONIC CORE (a Beatles influenced, grunge-rock band)
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I want to find those kids and beat the ever-loving hell out of them
_____________________
Actually, they were all in their 30's.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-29 06:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ova' de past two monds, mah' buddy Wyl gots been draggin' me t'a joint here in Kent called Club Khameleon every Wednesday. Slap mah fro!
Hahahaha thanks Jared
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-29 06:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-29 06:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SONIC CORE (a Beatles influenced, grunge-rock band)
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I want to find those kids and beat the ever-loving hell out of them
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-29 05:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Soobmeetted by EsshOly (user inffu) et 2007-10-29 03:33:28 IDT (#)
Runkeeng: 2
Lest neeght, zee pupe-a gut in a feestffight veet a cundum. It ves feurly emooseeng.
Submitted by jared.melton (user info) at 2007-10-29 04:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was infinitely more interesting translated into jive.
http://rinkworks.com/dialect/dialectp.cgi?dialect=jive&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ubersite.com%2Fm%2F112779
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-10-29 04:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hooray 4 halloween
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-29 04:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You folks take Halloween really seriously over ther, don't you?
____________________
One of Kents State's rival schools Ohio University (OU not OSU) used to have a HUGE Halloween party.
When Athens, OH started cracking down on it, this town picked it up.
The cops hate it, but the town generates tons of $$$ from that weekend.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last night, the pope got in a fistfight with a condom. It was fairly amusing.
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HAHAHA
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You folks take Halloween really seriously over ther, don't you?
For us, it's just an excuse for kids to demand sugary treats with menace and not get brained.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last night, the pope got in a fistfight with a condom. It was fairly amusing.