An example of why China will one day rule the world. or I know some very stupid people. (605 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.64 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2007-10-29 10:07:56 EDT
I will start this with a phrase that I use quite a lot in my life, especially when the inflatable girlfriend is around:
'Don't worry this will all be over rather quickly.'
A friend and neighbour, who is actually just one person not two as the title may suggest. He has recently returned from a brief little holiday to the delightful smog ridden land of China. He had a marvellous time apparently and has been to his doctors to confirm that his life expectancy has been reduced by 20 years, so all in all he got exactly what he paid for.
He was returning through the airport and a little shop caught his eye, no mean feat as the chap has rather poor eyesight. The little shop boasted of having 'Priceless' Ding vases and such at really reasonable prices. He was, as you would expect, very excited about owning a genuine 'Ding' vase and so went inside. True to the advertisings word the Vases were at extraordinarily good prices.
The man in question turned to his wife and said:
"I can't believe these are genuine Ding for these prices I must check."
His wife is a very quite little creature and normally wouldn't say boo to a goose but on this occasion even she could tell that this wasn't all it seemed and so tried to warn him by saying:
"But surely it should be...."
Sadly she never finished as he was up talking to the shop assistant.
"Is this really genuine Ding?"
"Oh yes Sir. All genuine Ding, you get certificate as well to prove." Said the small Chinese man with a careful smile on his face. (He may not have been all that small but seeing as most china men are small I thought I would generalise)
The wife left the store shaking her head and my neighbour purchased a nice 'Priceless' Vase.
So he comes home and places this vase in pride of place and then proceeds to invite me round and a few others to brag about the thing. He tells us the story I have detailed above and we all sit there in silence. He seems to expect some sort of 'Wow' moment from us and we are actually sitting waiting for him to realise what a dick he has been. Sadly neither happens. He shoos us out rather despondently and we piss ourselves laughing outside.
I can almost visualise the little Chinese man going to meet his Bank Manager waving his business plan and saying:
"See I told you those bloody stupid foreigners would fall for it."
We are now trying to figure out which of us is going to tell him that his Vase is indeed 'Priceless' as no one in their right mind would pay anything for it.
User Reviews
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-10-29 20:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, I just came back from China and I have poor eyesight. I thought you were talking about me for a while, but I know what Ming is, so this must be about somebody else.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-29 19:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm eating Chinese food right now.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-29 18:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-10-29 18:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-29 17:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate chinese food. it smells.
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and it hates you. You smell
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you smell worser.
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-10-29 18:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-29 17:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate chinese food. it smells.
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and it hates you. You smell
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-29 17:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate chinese food. it smells.
Submitted by ShimishSmortion (user info) at 2007-10-29 16:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shiesty fucking chinks
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-29 16:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-29 07:55:07 PDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature, dude."
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yeah, it's 'chink'.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-29 14:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-29 14:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-29 13:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ALL THE CHINESE DENTISTS WILL CELEBRATE THE RECENT SOX WORLD SERIES VICTORY AT THEIR FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY...2:30.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-10-29 12:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I whole hearted admit that this was lamer than Sad Ken the three legged horse, but for some reason it actually made me chortle quite a bit over the weekend. That could be because I spent most of the fucking weekend doing DIY shit and house stuff so didnt get out to enjoy myself.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-29 12:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cause I read it
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-10-29 12:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This was kinda lame.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-29 11:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-29 11:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ding_(vessel)
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Apparently it's just a style of pot, although one could say that a genuine Ding vase would be a vase adopting the traditional style of construction.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-29 11:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I just slide right back into the homosexual innuendo (like the one inserted into this statement{and even this parenthetical clause})?
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-10-29 11:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Wow. Great story.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature, dude."
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rule the world because they can get over on dumb saps?
they might rule england but not the world, hardly.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That was really boring, not to mention terribly written.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh katy makes everything sooo serious!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:33:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
china will collapse when they run out of women to marry due to selective abortion AND mutant lead paint babies.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You must have really boring friends if they invite you round to look at a vase.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he is obviously a moron. Why does his wife allow him to whore this thing out? Surely it paints her as someone married to a moron.
~Brdn_Nkd
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe was his wife a MINGer hehe
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Don't worry this will all be over rather quickly.'
...
Hmmm, I say this quite a bit as well, although probably in much different circumstances than you do.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It is "Ding", as in "Ding fries are done".
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please, please tell me this is a work of fiction...
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-10-29 10:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am aware that there is something known as Ding Ware, but this guy thinks that it is Ming.