Sick Day (308 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.37 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Brad (View user info) at 2007-10-30 01:17:12 EDT
I awake to the soft sound of rain outside my door.
I look at my alarm clock. 8:15. Fuck. I am already more than two hours late for work.
Quick, think of an excuse... goddamn my fuckin head hurts... my grandma died? No, that won't work, my brother works with me. Fuck it. I tell my boss I am sick. Fuck him if he dosen't believe.
9:00: I get out of bed. Stand in the shower for 30 minutes, trying to clear my brain, the water gets cold.
9:35: Look in the fridge,three slices of old bologna and a bottle of mustard.
9:45: My hands are shaking as i try to change the channels on the TV... Fuck it... morning tv sucks anyways.... I am going back to sleep.
10:00 Fuck. My hands are still shaking.
10:07 Open fridge again. Make bologna and mustard sandwich.
10:24 Look at the sandwich i have made while watching a TV show i don't want to see.
10:30 Eat my mustard and bologna sandwich... Wonder when i bought either mustard or bologna... i hate both.
10:32 Vomit.
10:33 Leaning over toilet, wishing for death. Fuck, i wish i could stop shaking.
11:00 Sitting on the couch covered with a blanket. I ordered chicken soup and a ham sandwich for lunch. I just have to wait for 30 minutes for it to get here.
11:15 Vomit again. Is that a little red mixed in with it? Fuck it. Dosn't matter anymore.
11:30 Food is here. Dosn't sound appitising anymore. My hands are still shaking. Is 11:30 too early to start drinking?
11:32 Eat the ham sandwich.
11:33 Vomit again. This time it is mostly red.
11:40 I stare at the chicken soup, my entire body shaking...
11:42 Thank god, my first beer. I am halfway thru before i have my first shot.
11:45 My hands are steady again.
12:00 3 beers and 2 shots in. I don't feel sick anymore but, Damn, i bet they are pissed at work.
1:00 The sun comes out. All i want to do is sit and feel the sun warming me.
3:00 Wake up soaking wet, it is raining again.
3:05 Shaking again, pour myself a glass of bourbon.
3:15 I need a cigerette. I light a cigerette and step outside. The ember lasts for almost a minute.
3:17 My drink is getting watered down. I finish it and walk inside. I stand on the entry mat because she hates it when i get the floor wet.
3:18 There are wet footprints leading to the place I am standing.
3:21 I pour four shot glasses full.
3:22 They are empty.
3:25 I fill them again.
I sleep again.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-30 08:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WHAT A DAY!
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-30 08:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't feel sorry for people that have it bad due to decisions they make.
YOU SUCK
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-30 07:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Meant this one.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-30 07:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did this, much better, years ago.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-30 07:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that made me feel ill
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-30 06:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking whingeing gaylord.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-30 02:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2007-10-30 02:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, no, you misunderstood me. I think if you go cannabilistic and eat me it may convert you into somone with a bit of style. But that may be too much to hope for.
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The defecation would be a vast improvement in your entertainment value, rather than your current waste combination of oxygen and bandwidth.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2007-10-30 02:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, no, you misunderstood me. I think if you go cannabilistic and eat me it may convert you into somone with a bit of style. But that may be too much to hope for.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-10-30 02:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome to my world. Except for the part where you suck up your hangover and go to your high-pressure job, where your boss sits four feet away from you all day, throws sudden questions at you that take a high degree of consideration and creativity, and adds tasks to your work load arbitrarily because he thinks your former boss (who committed suicide) paid you too much.
Enjoy your bourbon, slacker.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-30 02:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You seem to have taken offence.
What you don't know, is this is called open criticism. It's where I tell you you're a horrible fuck up, and you figure out how to get better on your own.
PS: I hope you get die on your way home from work. This way, you don't get the satisfaction of making it home.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-30 02:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this turd won't flush ©
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2007-10-30 02:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eat me steak.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-30 01:39:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
more than awful.