A SHIT LIST! I'm Pissed!!! (1203 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.44 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ? (View user info) at 2007-10-30 18:23:08 EDT
This is a list of the things I hate right now in my life. It's a shitty list but it is 'my' shit list so STFU.
Things I hate.
I hate my best friend having a girlfriend. She's nice enough and she is super cool with me. But she takes up all our time. Yes, I know I sound like a little attention whore but he was my friend first. It sucks because he literally is always with her. Every time we go somewhere she is there. When ever we go out he has to see what she is doing first. Thank god I like her or else she would have been axed murdered by now. Hey, asshole best friend you need to make time for us and her. Douche.
I hate school clubs. Yes I'm involved in a lot of them. Have to build up the old resume eh? I'm on the school finance board which is a prestigious position at my college. But it's such snotty bullshit. I don't give a shit about student Senate and all there big kid games they play. They act like our school president is Bush and they need to bring him down. Calm down assholes it's only college politics you have no real power. I also hate having to be scheduled to build houses. Yes I know they are needy. Yes I know it is a good cause. But damn it I want to wake up on a Friday morning hung-over with a condom on my dick and not running around like a ding bat because I have meetings and houses to build.
I hate my roommate's dog. It is the prettiest American pit bull you will ever see. But that bitch is fucking nuts. It shits fucking everywhere. It always tear's shit up. It is the prettiest dog in the world and it knows it. It pissed in my bed just a week ago and I have washed my Ralph Lauren covers about 3 times to no avail still smells like her. I mean my roommate needs to get the fucking thing trained but he wont because he won't be told what to do.
I hate the fact that my apartment/house is a fucking circus my roommate has fucking rats in cages, fucking a dog that shits every where and also a fucking snake and a fish. God damn mother fucker are you that lonely? I mean you must be fucking deprived to have that many animals in a god damn town house. I mean our place smells like a fucking circus even when it is spot less. Do you know how many of those electric air fresheners we have? Fucking 10. We have 10 and it still smells like a ball sac.
I hate my friend James for not being my friend the way he should be. I always have to go over there to his place. I mean what the fuck? I know you hate my roommate James shit everyone does. But everyone will still come over and deal with him because they want to see me. Sometimes James being your friend is all one sided and I don't know why the fuck I do it. Your lucky you still let us give you ball taps, pick belly's and generally just fuck with you or else you would be 86'd. I can't get mad at you though, when I do you give me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Damn it!
I hate you Jessica for that bullshit you pulled a couple nights ago at the Halloween party. You fucking knew your boyfriend would be at that party. What you want me to fight him for you? You want him to prove his love for you by getting his ass kicked by me? Are you fucking delirious? I will never fight over a girl. Never. The fact that you're pussy boyfriend told me he used to be a boxer and I was lucky he didn't kick my ass made me laugh. He wasn't so tough when I had him on the ground with my knee in his chest cussing him out at that party was he? He is a little pussy and you are a bitch. I'm not going to date you so you better hold on to your boyfriend. Because the fact that you would cheat on him for me or with me sickens me. How could I date a girl that would cheat on her boyfriend of 4 years with me? You're just a fuck box. Deal with it.
I hate coaches. You're all conniving little opportunistic fucks. If I do play baseball again it's going to be on my own terms at my school of choice. I don't need to slob your knob to get there. Hey asshole I'm a 3.4 student in the finance committee, head of business Club and in the honors program. So yeah just fuck off.
I hate uber. I hate the fact that I write gold and you guys call it shit because you don't like me personally. That's cool though. Actually I like uber you guys take me off this high horse that I seem to ride around all the time in my real life. If I don't amount to shit, or don't play ball big time somewhere I would love to go to an uber con or something. I guess it's just life.
Side note- what movie describes you? If a movie does it's the movie "Better luck Tomorrow". Besides the fact that I'm not Asian that is pretty much me. My A's get me leeway while I'm getting drunk, smoking weed, hanging out with my boys, in drunken debauchery living it up because the stress of being smart is annoying.
Well Blow me up, TOM!
User Reviews
Submitted by daddiesgurl01 (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you were a girl for the first two paragraphs, man up club boy
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-31 01:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-30 23:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Give fair warning to your roommate and the dog itself.
Tell him you will kill the dog if anything like that happens again.
Show him the knife which you will use, and then show him where you'll make the cut.
Proceed to tell him what will happen/fall out as a result of the cut.
If you just tell him, he'll think it's an idle threat. It's just an auditory response so far. Showing him the knife increases his interaction, and places another level of meaning to what you're saying. Now it's audio-visual. Showing him where the cut will be, places the the audio-visual warning onto the animal itself, so he now associates the warning with the dog. Telling him what will fall out, and what will happen as a result of said falling out, places a level of reality to the warning, and he now associates the dog's unwanted actions with the dog's death.
Don't fuck it up.
You tell the dog, simply because it'd be wrong not to give it fair warning too.
****************************************************************
Steak, I'm sorry but you have it all wrong.
You don't say shit.
Animals, rodents, etc just start to disappear into thin air.
Dinnertime becomes way more interesting.
****************************************************************
"Why does my cabbage roll resemble dog wang?"
"No idea. Eat up...Sparky."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WE NEEDED ANOTHER TEENAGED ZITBOY NERD/DORK TO REPLACE AXOTOL OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HIS NAME IS.
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i love you
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-11-01 00:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol @ this.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-11-01 00:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe your best friend doesn't like you "that way", you A&F frat boy sodomite.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-10-31 22:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh bubba don't be that way...we used to have harmless homosexual banter on ubersite, remember how fun it was?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-31 20:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-30 22:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba - 40 years + 40 IQ points = Perkman
-------------
lol
***********
OK, Unidipshit and George Fuckupolis. A series of IQ tests at the downtown
psychologist's orifice. Loser pays for all. The loser...Oh wait...
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2007-10-31 20:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
im so mad i could just ball up my little fists and throw a hissy fit in my pillow... if my roomate wouldnt yell at me. hes so mean! i could just, just, just stomp my little feet on the floor and pout at everyone!!!! IM SO MAD! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
drink two beers, pass out, piss yourself, wake up, and get over it.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2007-10-31 20:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Deal!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-10-31 20:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry Perkman.
Another forty years and people will mostly ignore your dumb ass.
See: Bubba2341
________________
ZING!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-31 20:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
We'll calm down when you stop posting your uninteresting, redundant, illiterate emo tripe.
DEAL???
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2007-10-31 20:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was part sarcasm and part truth. You all need to calm down.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-10-31 16:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Start wearing purple.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-31 16:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
too bad, for you
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2007-10-31 12:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-10-31 12:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OH gingersnaps! OH NO! does your life not feel good fuckface? Im so sorry for you, for real real! Let me give you a hug to make you feel better. Oh wait..hold on.......Im reading your post ....yep......sorry cant help you there, you're a tool.
I can just picture you now, getting all steemed over your dime a dozen pseudo-problems, while you go play "ball" and act like you're superior to anyone. BUT WAIT! your getting a BA in Business! Well excuse ME! I forgot how much work you have to put forward, and how difficult the subject matter is for something that complex. A 3.4 GPA too! in A FUCKING BUSINESS TRACK!! HAA HAHAHAHA, you're fucking worthless, no wonder you hate your life, because deep down you know you're wasting your time with a fuckhead major, and fuckhead friends, and a fuckhead life. I feel so good right now knowing how delirious and screwed up your life is, I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU.
So let me get this straight. You woke up with a condom on your dick, your are amidst drama problems caused by you sleeping around too much, you're attending school (albeit for the wrong reasons obviously), you have all the free time in the world because your a dumbass cop-out business major, and you get to play "ball" which I assume is something you like to do. SO WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE PROBLEMS?! In your priviliged, over-pampered, arrogant, melodramatic BULLSHIT of a brain, THATS WHERE. How dare you even complain? You're a worthless, utterly wortheless waste of life.
Go die in the sewer.
I am so much better than you.
and im spent. FUCKFACE.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-31 09:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Marge, let's end this feudin' and a-fussin' and get down to some lovin'.
-- Homer Simpson
Colonel Homer
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-10-31 09:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're a whiny emo douche
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-10-31 05:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i actually read this.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-31 01:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-30 23:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Give fair warning to your roommate and the dog itself.
Tell him you will kill the dog if anything like that happens again.
Show him the knife which you will use, and then show him where you'll make the cut.
Proceed to tell him what will happen/fall out as a result of the cut.
If you just tell him, he'll think it's an idle threat. It's just an auditory response so far. Showing him the knife increases his interaction, and places another level of meaning to what you're saying. Now it's audio-visual. Showing him where the cut will be, places the the audio-visual warning onto the animal itself, so he now associates the warning with the dog. Telling him what will fall out, and what will happen as a result of said falling out, places a level of reality to the warning, and he now associates the dog's unwanted actions with the dog's death.
Don't fuck it up.
You tell the dog, simply because it'd be wrong not to give it fair warning too.
****************************************************************
Steak, I'm sorry but you have it all wrong.
You don't say shit.
Animals, rodents, etc just start to disappear into thin air.
Dinnertime becomes way more interesting.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-30 23:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I liked when you told Chaos Jester he was like nails on a chalkboard.
---
me too.
that was the day i realized toe and i shared a special bond. not herpes. that other thing. the one about not suffering fools gladly.
i didn't read this because i knew it would be whiney shite. i just came for the fun insults that are often thrown about on perkmans posts. i suppose that makes it unfair for me to neg this...
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-30 23:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I only rated this because I went to argblargs, and forgot my password. Then I realised you showed me argblargs. How do I get it back?
My real response to this should have been:
OHH NOES! I HAVE CRAPPY FRIENDS/COLLEGE LIFE! WOE IS ME!
IT IS SO AWFUL THAT MY LAST 9 POSTS HAVE BEEN ABOUT IT! WAAAA!
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-30 23:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
me thinks someone is shitting where they eat again
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-30 23:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Give fair warning to your roommate and the dog itself.
Tell him you will kill the dog if anything like that happens again.
Show him the knife which you will use, and then show him where you'll make the cut.
Proceed to tell him what will happen/fall out as a result of the cut.
If you just tell him, he'll think it's an idle threat. It's just an auditory response so far. Showing him the knife increases his interaction, and places another level of meaning to what you're saying. Now it's audio-visual. Showing him where the cut will be, places the the audio-visual warning onto the animal itself, so he now associates the warning with the dog. Telling him what will fall out, and what will happen as a result of said falling out, places a level of reality to the warning, and he now associates the dog's unwanted actions with the dog's death.
Don't fuck it up.
You tell the dog, simply because it'd be wrong not to give it fair warning too.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-30 22:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba - 40 years + 40 IQ points = Perkman
-------------
lol
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-30 22:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
May
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba - 40 years + 40 IQ points = Perkman
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry Perkman.
Another forty years and people will mostly ignore your dumb ass.
See: Bubba2341
***
Perky, teh United fuckface just said you were 18. You gonna take that from
a FOOL???
Fine. . .
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Is there any point in which your life is, apparently, not in the shitter? Jesus fuck, man, consider the lillies of the goddamn field for once.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry Perkman.
Another forty years and people will mostly ignore your dumb ass.
See: Bubba2341
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I liked when you told Chaos Jester he was like nails on a chalkboard.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
like a tumour
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, he's growing on you, _toe?
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
How the flying fuck could you have a 3.4 GPA with your spelling and grammar on a fucking 4th grade level?? I find that pretty goddamn hard to believe, you fucking mongoloid.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-02 22:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus you're a wanker. I'm continually amazed that you even have friends
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Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-22 22:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
on another note, this should have been touching - but then yet again your self asorption has outweighed it.
There are ways to write about your life and while you do have the basic premise, unfortunately all your stories come through as fake and annoying (to me)
Stop being such a fucking emo, you are not a prostitute from namibia with aids and 5 kids that cannot be fed.
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Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-24 19:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm thinking that you're ugly. and mildly retarded.
you do realise you don't HAVE to hang out with people you don't like? right?
________________________________________
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-27 17:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*Bangs head against keyboard*
FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, STOP FUCKING POSTING! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! YOU SUCK!
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Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-12 21:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
please just fuck off
________________________________________
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-09 23:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you've posted some eighty odd times and each one is exactly the same as the last - ever thought about writing about something other than yourself for a change?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-30 21:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're a whiny emo douche
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-30 20:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-30 19:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't understand the term 86'd.
*****
It means you were thrown out of a bar, never to return....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-30 20:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Whenever" is ONE FUCKING WORD!!!
"axed murdered?" Gimme a break.
"best-friend,"
"assholes,,,,,,,"
"dingbat" <<<<<----- ONE WORD!!
I stopped there because I don't want the review to be longer than your
stupid post. Where did you learn to write? Oh. You didn't. Dipshit.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-30 20:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you need to tell the persons involved!
straight up honesty works.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-30 20:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You whine more than any teenager and that includes female teenagers, in history.
Shut the fuck up.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-30 19:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't understand the term 86'd.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-30 19:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 This is scary close to my list of shit to deal with right now.
+1 Use of 86. People ought to use that term more. And they need to say "ought" more.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-10-30 19:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a whiny bitch. STFU.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-10-30 19:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die emo fag
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-10-30 19:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I picture this being written by some fuckstick wearing diapers and cutting himself while typing with one hand.
That was entertaining enough.
Submitted by Iwanttoliveonabus (user info) at 2007-10-30 19:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Less for the fact that its a good post and more for making me feel that despite having a family member in hospital, compared to this rant I am having a fucking good day. Seriously, I know you weren't trying, but that was the funniest thing I've seen in a long while. Have my plus two and cheer up.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I had a big list of useful advice I was going to try to put in this review, but it was really nothing I and a host of others haven't said in replies to your previous pathetic pleas for emotional handouts you call posts.
If I had a dog that whined as much as you do I'd shoot it. Nobody, and I mean nobody, likes a whiner.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for actually sounding angry, even though the spelling is atrocious.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah you've got real problems.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fer cryin out loud, loosen up, man.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter
how dumb my suggestions are.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
what?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And remember not to act afraid. Animals can smell fear. And they
don't like it.
-- Homer Simpson
The Call of the Simpsons
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's 'cus I'm not shit. obviously
;-)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
another list Crystle didn't make... :(
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good rant.
you show some sense. Drop the roommate asap. stay away from the whore. finish school. you'll be fine.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2007-10-30 18:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like this. This is how I actually feel.