The BOSH Man! SHARES HIS FUCKING POWER KNOWLEDGE!! (1823 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.71 on 98 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dude, thats BOSH! (View user info) at 2007-11-02 12:00:16 EDT
Warning.
If you don't want to cream your jeans, or get your ass blown up, you may want to consider closing your web browser and never returning to this post again. On a similar yet unrelated topic, if you are currently ovulating, please follow suit, because the author is extremely potent.
---
Fucking A.
Powerful Fucking A.
Fucking brilliant idea.. Just came up with a new band. The band line-up is impossible to record because our numbers are potentially infinite.
We call ourselves 'Knees Arms Knowledge' for no fucking reason whatsoever other than because I fucking want to.. so choke on that for a second while I make up the rest of this story.
Dead yet? I don't care either way.
As I was saying, Knees Arms Knowledge is technically a 'theory band'. We've never practiced and we've never jammed. This is mainly because we only play one fucking song. The name of the song is not important, but rest assured it is powerful. Power knowledgeable. Super knowledge power.
Basically we take around 2500, maybe 2650 guitars and stack them on their sides one on top of the other, strings facing out with the backs against the side of a building. Directly in front of the guitars is a pool whose depths reach beyond the imagination. The depth of the pool is not important, but you're only reading this to kill some time anyways, so I threw in that extra sentence to help you out, along with this one.
Back to the power theory band, Knees Arms Knowledge. If you want to be a member, consider it done. All you do is gorilla glue about 900 guitar picks to your body, most importantly all your fingers/shoulder/face(s) and of course your knees and arms, do approximately 5 flips off the top of the building whose wall is lined with awesome looking/sounding guitars. They will be plugged into the most bosh PA system of all fucking time. Power PA. Each guitar will be tuned differently so that on your descent from the top of the building you can really rock a power solo using the picks glued all over your body.
The power of your jam will resonate in the atmosphere for decades. Person after person will jump and we will hear some sick harmonies.
Once you land in the pool, there are a number of festivities to partake in. Pin the crowbar on Earl Scruggs' face, for example, is a timeless classic. 'Who can drink more Schlitz, Me or Molly Hatchet?' is another popular choice.
The possibilities are endless.
Super fucking power knowledge
Don't be a fool, stay in school.
Take care, brush your hair.
User Reviews
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 10:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish someone else would come up with an idea as awesome as this so i could read about it. I don't have the energy to type one up.
uber is disappointing me today
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-11-06 10:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're so funny.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-05 21:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a theoretical band? I've got a few myself.
When the theoretical concerts are over, they join together to become a super theoretical band that fights oversized reptilian adversaries sent by the Japanese to control our populations through brain-wave reconfiguration.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-11-05 16:52:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-11-05 15:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome uberer below
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-11-05 15:12:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-11-05 10:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking bosh
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-05 10:15:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
power d
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-11-05 09:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"If you want to have your asses blown out, stay IN the room... thank you."
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-11-05 01:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The warning alone gets a +2.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-04 09:53:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-04 02:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2005-09-06
--
your life would never be the same after that date
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-11-04 08:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking BOSH.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2007-11-04 04:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll admit, that's pretty fucking bosh. It tops my idea of a thousand xylophones being struck simultaneously by five hundred bagpipe players. There's more to it but those are the basics.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-04 02:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2005-09-06
Wait, that came out wrong
dfgk;of0wr'eirueidm
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-11-04 02:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oops sorry boshman i forgot to rate.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-11-04 02:04:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-03 16:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I still have no idea how your mediocre frat boy rants garner positive ratings.
Maybe I don't get it. When did being stupid start being admirable?
***
Obviously not an American. Not only is stupid admirable, it's profitable.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-04 01:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude I have no idea what BOSH is but I think he was calling me the sophist.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-04 00:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
soph·ist /ˈsɒfɪst/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sof-ist] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-noun
1. (often initial capital letter) Greek History.
a. any of a class of professional teachers in ancient Greece who gave instruction in various fields, as in general culture, rhetoric, politics, or disputation.
--
WHAT THE FUCK?
does this mean i am really fuckin BOSH?!?!?
please answer me, because i honestly have no idea what the word 'sophist' means..
plus i'm drunk
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-04 00:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no offense... but think less, and let is what is is.
wrap your head around THAT
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-04 00:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no at it like this 2500+ guitars stuck side to side like a giantic super-stringified slide, at an average of 18 inches wide 3750 feet high and contain 15000 strings.
900 picks would only suffice to hit about 16.676767...% of the strings, assuming each pick only hit 1 string before being ripped off the body.
plus the cost of 2500+ guitars, and the engineering involved in getting the project built as well as certified as structurally sound before anyone would even be legally allowed to attempt such a feat.
Let alone the logistics of getting him to the top of this tower.
I would have been more impressed with a skyscraper sized guitar and using a helicopter and a machine gun to play the strings.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-11-03 22:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what's the difference between being a sophist or a frat guy? it's not intelligence.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-03 16:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I still have no idea how your mediocre frat boy rants garner positive ratings.
Maybe I don't get it. When did being stupid start being admirable?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-11-03 14:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do it.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-03 13:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA YOU SAID DOODY
RAAGH YELLING I AM GOOD AT YELLING RRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 13:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
RAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 13:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-09-14 16:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YELLING IS BOSH.
WHATS STRANGE IS THAT I ACTUALLY SCREAM THE WORDS AS I TYPE THEM WHILE IM HERE AT WORK, PEOPLE GIVE ME A CONFUSED LOOK, AND I CONTINUE SCREAMING AND LOOKING AT THEM APOLOGETICALLY
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-09-14 15:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I AGREE.. AND I LIKE YELLING LIKE THIS, WHICH IS NEEDED SINCE UBER IS ALL BOSHED UP AT THE MOMENT!
BOSH ON BRUTHA!!
--
ON THAT NOTE MASTERS OF KARATE ARE REQUIRED TO YELL AT ALL TIMES WHEN ON DUTY
HAHA DUTY
YER DUTIES ENTAIL DOING WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU'RE AFFILIATED WITH THE MASTERS OF KARATE, SO LONG AS YOU DO IT WHILE YELLING.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-03 13:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES WHAT WOULD MY DUTIES ENTAIL RAGH
I CAN'T START TODAY THOUGH - I AM TERRIBLY HUNG OVER, THUS ALL THE YELLING
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 13:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DEAL
ToDance has proven her fierceness, would you like to be Assistant to the Co-Masters of Karate?
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-11-03 13:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no but i'll be a master of karate with you
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-03 12:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH BLAARRGHHH NUUURRRRR
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 12:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-03 12:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Boshman:
NO COMMENT RAGH
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 12:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
never finish
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oOnMDoYvnk
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 12:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ToDance:
to each his/her own!
i will say that i am in favor of everything ninja.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 12:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BLT wanna be co-champions of friendship?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-03 11:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 10:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
easy compadre..
i don't think i've ever seen ballare say anything other than 'no comment' before haha
----
No way I write comments all the time
mostly to protest 'I'm a girl' but they're comments nonetheless
although I am a fan of the no comment ninja strike
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-11-03 11:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CHAMPION OF THE SUN
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 11:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cool dude
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2007-11-03 10:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I live in Boston as well. If you're playing a show around here sometime I'd be glad to come.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 10:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-11-02 21:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Alright, dammit, here. I smiled. I'm ashamed of myself.
--
i'm pretty sure thats the first time you've ever reviewed one of my posts.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 10:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED AND DRUNK OF ALL OF YOU
FUCK
--
that was funny though
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 10:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
easy compadre..
i don't think i've ever seen ballare say anything other than 'no comment' before haha
Uniter, that was funny on the other post, now you're just being lazy
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-03 10:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED AND DRUNK OF ALL OF YOU
FUCK
===
HAHAHA YOU SAID IT, SISTER
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-03 05:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YEAH THOUGH A GUITAR SLIDE I'M TOTALLY INTO THAT
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-03 05:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU EMOTIONALLY COMPLICATED MALES
I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED AND DRUNK OF ALL OF YOU
FUCK
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-11-03 03:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i've always wanted power knowledge
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-11-02 22:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-02 20:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bosh + 2650 guitars=Sacrilicious + erect nipples
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-02 21:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
But what happened to that chick, dude?
Was she like, totally Bosh or what?
Nice movement on the joe!
Hey. Movement. Whoa.
You should really shit in the filter next time dude!
Totally Bosh, man!
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-11-02 21:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Alright, dammit, here. I smiled. I'm ashamed of myself.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-02 20:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bosh + 2650 guitars=Sacrilicious + erect nipples
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-11-02 19:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
~~~FLIRTIN WITH DISASTER~~~
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-11-02 19:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I usually read your posts with the voice of Duffman in my head.
While it does somewhat add to the entertainment value, it fails to increase the post's overall BOSHNESS.
This is no doubt due to the fact that the post by itself has practically acheived an infinite level of BOSH, thus any finite increase in BOSHNESS would be negligible relative to the infinite BOSH already present.
In short, integral(http://www.ubersite.com/m/112920 ,0,t) dBOSH = infinity
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-11-02 17:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pin the crowbar on Earl Scruggs' face, for example, is a timeless classic.
+2 for the great idea
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-11-02 17:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so much awesome
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-11-02 15:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The depth of the pool is not important, but you're only reading this to kill some time anyways, so I threw in that extra sentence to help you out, along with this one.
----------
I sprayed Tesco's own brand cola across my laptop because of that line and now I demand you come and clean it up you fabulous bastard
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-11-02 15:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck do I sign up for this?!
(for the record: I invented the 'electropic', which is an electric screwdriver with 12 picks glued to it. I tried it, but the pickups picked up so much whining motor noise I never used it in a gig. Fucking Eddie Van Halen stole it a year later and made a mint with it, and that fuck didn't even glue picks to the screwdriver bit. Fucking Eddie Van Halen)
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-02 14:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-11-02 14:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in. I have teh mad pin the crowbar on Earl Scruggs' face skilz!
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, now I feel like I should put on some holey jeans, grow a mullet, and play some cock rock! I'll do anything to melt face...
count me in!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuckin a right they are.. lousy fucks.. they're probably gay for eachother anyways. In fact I think i read a story yesterday somewhere on uber about don henley and earl scruggs... something about being gay and drowning in the ocean... i think drogo wrote it.
--
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112815
Yep... don't be fooled by the typo in the title though. It was probably meant to read: 'Scruggs takes all his clothes off and tries to anally penetrate don henley in the ocean so they could talk about crustaceans'
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pps
scruggs does that all the time icarus.. but thanks for bringing it to my attention.. i was running low on material with which to bash earl scruggs.
yea right.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps
lostnphound - consider me one of the few!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuckin a right they are.. lousy fucks.. they're probably gay for eachother anyways. In fact I think i read a story yesterday somewhere on uber about don henley and earl scruggs... something about being gay and drowning in the ocean... i think drogo wrote it.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Few people can rock the way Bill Bevins does...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Banjo pickers and white dudes w/ afros who slept with Stevie Nicks are bastards.
Just wanted to say that.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The faggot Earl Scruggs just bit Barry Manilow all over the face and ass.
I just thought you should know.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
theoretical jam
sounds easy!!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
me too
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love beer
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
RyuFu (user info) -14 on 11 = -1.27
woo!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HadToBeDone (user info) -18 on 12 = -1.50
damn i thought it would be closer to -2
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think I +2 bosh stuff very often
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bosh.
Submitted by ShimishSmortion (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These will never get tiring!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm fucking in.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im guessing muddy gets to play on the bums
ahahahahahahahah
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, these comments are no longer punny
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish my band were this cool
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yozz wants to play that instrument that is always two beats behind the rest of the band
--
Thats the TardoBongo isnt it?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has anyone laid claim to the flesh recorder? Pubical Harp? We need a good penist. too!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tuba?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yozz wants to play that instrument that is always two beats behind the rest of the band.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In that case, I'll have to play the rusty tromboner.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah. THAT IS TOTALLY FUCKING BOSH!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, Muddy plays meat whistle.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you guys are all in the band
this is serious fucking power knowledge
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've given up skin flute for the meat whistle. Can I play meat whistle?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I should play the harmonica really, or my banjo string
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes! Bagsy Triangle
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I too would like to join.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep it foolish!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sico will be along shortly to volunteer to play skinflute
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like to play the Electric Tambourine.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to participate in this band.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can i play log
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you know what
thats really brilliant