Signs. (516 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.31 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by baron von munchausen (View user info) at 2007-11-03 22:27:53 EDT
Once there was a man who always did what any sign he saw said he should do.
I asked him about it once. I said, "Why do you always do what any sign you see says you should do?" is what I said.
This is what he said. Right here: "The sign is obviously there for a reason. The signs are put there by people who know more than you, and the signs are their way of sharing their knowledge at all times without having to be there. The people who think of signs have better things to do than stand there all day, telling you what to do, like magic sign-people. So they make signs. So we should do what they say."
I told him that I didn't think signs were all necessarily that brilliant. A stop sign has only four letters on it, I pointed out.
"Yes, only four letters. But there are eight sides. That's twice as many sides as letters. I'd like to see you come up with that," he replied, seeming somewhat irritated.
So that was why he always did what any sign he saw said he should do.
It caused problems for him, though. Not all the time; for instance, when he saw a sign that said "Beware of Dog", he became aware of the dog. Things like that didn't cause problems. But he was never inside a building for very long, because he always saw bright red signs at the exits that said "EXIT". So, naturally, he would exit; as the sign-maker had intended.
Billboards and ads were also problematic. They counted as signs. They also often instructed him to "CALL NOW!". So he spent a lot of time doing that, and often got into car accidents while CALLing NOW. And he spent lots of money buying extra phones so he could CALL NOW to all the places he had to.
He did not realize that these were problems. He was very steadfast in his belief that he had an absolutely ideal and perfect life, because he always did what the signs said. It bothered him immensely that buildings were always full of people who had obviously seen the EXIT signs and had chosen not to exit-perhaps even on more than one occasion. He found this infuriating.
But his biggest problem occurred when he was in Korea. He was there because a sign said, "BOOK YOUR TICKETS NOW!" and naturally, he booked his tickets then. Then, in Korea, he ended up going to jail because he did something a sign told him to do.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-05 21:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Seen it.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-05 09:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this could have been quite brilliant and instead comes out a bit lackluster. stay positive for an entertaining idea but no mad props.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-04 20:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-11-04 17:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-11-04 12:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, because when he reads the sign he won't have read the sign yet. Derrr.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-11-04 12:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But if that sign made him stop listening to signs, wouldn't he not listen to the sign telling him not to listen to signs?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-11-04 12:33:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I giggled.
But the obvious solution for this would be to put a sign out in front of his house telling him not to listen to signs any more.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-11-04 12:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sir cowman: Please don't tell me what I have "no right" to say. I'll say whatever I want to. Now kindly go and enjoy your overblown delusions of authority and self-importance where I can't see you.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-04 11:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91064 <-------bwahahaha
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-11-04 03:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-11-04 00:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-03 23:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've decided that you too, bore me. I'm done with you. Everything you say is the same, and I'm tired of the dissappointment.
As per my rule, if I see my name in the headline or body of a post, I'll rate it, but it will be without comment.
You officially lose. +2 to end on a high note.
-----------------
...sorry?
Write something good and I'll consider caring.
____________________________________________________________
Man. This story was really bad. It reads like a seventh grade homework assignment.
I was going to quote a part or your awful story and make fun of you, instead I'll do you a favor and point something out you should know.
You really have no right to tell someone to "write something good," especially if your other stuff is as awful as this. Were you trying to be deep? Terminator 2 made me think more than this.
Give up. You failed.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-04 02:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Vonnegut stylee.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-11-04 01:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know which one it is. I think. I appreciate the compliment though. Consistency is an issue for me.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-04 00:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ps
two of your stories i like a fucking lot.
this is one of them
the other one is a mystery, but not to me
power knowledge
fuck you.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-11-04 00:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-03 23:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've decided that you too, bore me. I'm done with you. Everything you say is the same, and I'm tired of the dissappointment.
As per my rule, if I see my name in the headline or body of a post, I'll rate it, but it will be without comment.
You officially lose. +2 to end on a high note.
-----------------
...sorry?
Write something good and I'll consider caring.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-04 00:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
power knowledge
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-03 23:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've decided that you too, bore me. I'm done with you. Everything you say is the same, and I'm tired of the dissappointment.
As per my rule, if I see my name in the headline or body of a post, I'll rate it, but it will be without comment.
You officially lose. +2 to end on a high note.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-03 23:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh.
Props for using a Korean .jpeg in a (pseudo)Korean-related post.
BUT...
Wasn't really entertained. Do better next time...