What Is Next? (1286 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.57 on 68 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Holly Golitely <hollywon1.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-11-07 01:15:08 EST
Life is so bizarre. A year ago, I had a "career" (if choosing to be trapped because you can't make more money doing something that you even half-way enjoy can be classified as such). I didn't have any friends. I wasn't really ready to participate in my world or anyone else's.
Now, I have control. Some might think that I've taken a step back, and maybe they're right. That's probably what I should have done a long time ago. It's underrated.
I have a roommate and two jobs. When I quit my "career", I told my parents that I'd rather work twice as often, than continue on the way I was going. I didn't lie. I work more often, but have less headaches.
I do have friends, now; most of which are younger than me. They enable me to reflect on my life in a way that I don't think I'd otherwise be able to. I didn't let myself live when I was their age. Instead of taking advantage of my early twenties, I pretended like I was thirty.
I'm still pretty immature and the fact that I apparently look 21 is sort of a double edged sword, I've found. I don't have to behave like a 27 year old and I pretend not to be. People don't treat me like I should be grown up; not my friends, not my parents, no one. Maybe, if I looked more adult, I would be.
Still, I don't think I've ever been happier. It's like I'm given the chance to relive parts of my life that I didn't necessarily do right the first time, but with more experience and confidence. It feels like a new beginning, and I don't have to beat myself up anymore because I get it now.
Regardless, in the back of my mind there is an emphasis on the joke factor. At the end of the day, I know how old I am and that everything is backwards. It is frustrating to me.
I don't actually want to live the life of a 20 year old, but I also couldn't be more horrified by the prospect of getting married and having children. THAT.MAKES.ME.SICK. Clearly, I don't think it's wrong. I just don't feel ready for it.
So, what? If life has taught me anything, it's to go with the flow and not sweat the small stuff. I really do follow that mantra. I also tell my little friends, (when they ask ;), that discontent mostly lies in the inability to make choices. I didn't see it when I was their age, but it is so obvious to me now. You make a choice, and you don't second guess it = happy.
It's never failed me, but I'm typing this now because I've made my choices and I'm happy, but I don't feel completely right. Does anyone? Is there a piece of the equation that I'm missing?
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-06 15:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you like the people in this photo with you? If so, why expose them to Über?
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2008-03-20 18:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holly,
While I'm sure that nobody is happy all the time, I know that a lot of people are generally happy most of the time. I think you've found the secret, and that is to stop living for other people or living up to fictitious expectations, and just live for yourself.
Right now you are living for yourself and you seem happier because of it. Fuck work if it ruins your life. You've found friendship and a job that causes you less stress. It is not a step back, it is a step towards gaining satisfaction from your life.
Perhaps what you feel like you are missing is a deep intimacy with someone. Not necessarily a romantic intimacy, but an intimate friendship.....seeing as you've made new friends, chances are you aren't deep down best friends forever just quite yet. So in time maybe when you get really close with these people, you'll feel even happier and you won't feel as if something is missing.
Maybe you'll lose that feeling of "something's missing" when you get married. Or get pregnant. Or find Jesus. Who knows.
The most important part is to be happy with now; with who you are know, what you are doing, who you are friends with, and everything. If you spend too much time looking back or looking forward, you will miss out on the now!
Anyways, best of luck and hopefully you are doing well with your choices in career change.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-11-08 16:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Holly do you have a new Internet best friend now?
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-11-08 03:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Simply put: if your step back has caused happiness-that's actually a step forward-embrace it-go with the flow- all any of us have is right now! (what am i Sammy Hagar!)Now look what you've gone and did!
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-11-07 23:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Holly Golitely (View user info) at 2007-11-07 01:15:08 EST
Is there a piece of the equation that I'm missing?
--------------------------------------------------------
Yes, but that's okay, you make up for it with the extra chromosome.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-11-07 21:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have to find your own path in life.
Not making a decision is also a decision.
People who own pets are generally more emotionally balanced than people who do not own pets.
If the pets that people own happen to be cats those people cannot leave anything breakable on the entertainment center even though the cat knows good and damn well it is not allowed on the entertainment center.
Carry on.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-07 18:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Holly.
There is no equation, there is only what feels right for you. I've been married 19 years and have three kids. The only regret that I have is waiting so long to have those kids. I am 46 yrs old with an 8 year old son. Not that it's a grind because it isn't, it would just be nice to look forward to having some time for just the wife and myself before the age of 50 or so.
I made that decision, so I live with it and enjoy it as much as I can.
Otherwise, just go with what feels right for you. If you think you are at some kind of crossroads, you probably are and you might consider things a little more carefully. Most of the time, the answers are right there in front of us to reach out and grab, other times we have to dig a little.
Whatever. I'm just an old guy. In any event, there is no magic equation, there only is what "is". Take it and deal with it as you see fit.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-07 18:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the bong
Pass it over
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-07 16:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You tard.
Where did I mention size? I mentioned shitty quality, and yes, for the record, this could use resizing, a thing that can be done in PAINT.
Moaning about your life. You need antidepressants and some talent.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-11-07 16:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I would love to be able to make the picture smaller and more viewable, but.....
well, you see, my hard drive broke down about two weeks ago and I no longer have the programs that I used to, and I've lost my je ne sais quoi... and don't have the uber contacts to guide me through this terrible crisis so.....
-----
You used to have my email. As much of an asshole as I can be, I'm always willing to give little bits of help.
After the NDA is signed.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-11-07 15:51:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"If life has taught me anything, it's to go with the flow and not sweat the small stuff. I really do follow that mantra."
"To those who have negative things to say about my friends- there is something seriously wrong with you. I choose to associate with people who are beautiful in every way. You nasty fuckers will never understand that."
What?
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-11-07 13:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She's the one in the middle, Indo.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2007-11-07 13:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I really do appreciate the real comments that have been given. They mean a lot to me.
To those who have negative things to say about my friends- there is something seriously wrong with you. I choose to associate with people who are beautiful in every way. You nasty fuckers will never understand that.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-11-07 12:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I think next should be starting a healthy diet and a moderate workout program.
And I know you are the one on the right, if you were the one on the left I would say next should be killing yourself.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-07 12:32:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My what big J-pegs you have
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-07 12:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-07 12:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-11-07 11:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I really hate people who stare at their cell phones long enough to be photographed doing so.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-11-07 11:02:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hi Holly. Maybe you're missing that special someone? That's what I feel I'm missing; but I don't think I'm really hard-wired to be single. Not everyone is like that, though. Congratulations on making the job choice that led you to being happy. I recommend you don't stay where you are (career wise) for too long, though. That's what I did...I had three jobs that I enjoyed, but they didn't really provide me with enough money to save up for anything significant...however, I was content enough with my life that I didn't want to change anything, and ended up treading water for a few years. So be careful about that.
Anyway, good luck.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-11-07 10:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Being a adult is for freaky people without a clue, with their minds stuck in 1952.
This is the fucking 21st century. Anything is wrong. Nothing is right.
And god died in the sixties. So there's only drugs,sex, and generall misbehaviour.
</rant>
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-07 10:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm the opposite...32 going on 55.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-07 10:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
know the feeling yo.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-11-07 10:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hooray.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-07 10:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bong!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-07 09:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-07 09:50:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There is a natural progression to maturity. You cannot skip any steps - you must do all of them eventually. You see it all the time in men - if they don't try to fuck everything that moves when they are in high school / college, then they wind up doing it after they have a wife of 15 years and 3 kids. I suspect that is why you are doing the things you are doing now - going back and doing what you should have been doing 10 years ago. That's why it seems "backwards." Embrace it, learn from it and move on asap.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-07 09:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God knows you don't want to get trapped by a mortgage.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-07 09:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLLY!
It's been a LONG time. How've you been?
captainthorns.at.gmail.com
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-11-07 09:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've noticed that people in their 20's get trapped in what I like to call the cage of societal expectations.
Go to college and graduate at 21 or 22.
Go get an entry level job and start climbing the ladder.
Party it up while looking for your future mate.
As you near late 20's prepare for home ownership, marriage, having a family.
So on and so on.
I know, I did it too. A professor of mine once asked me (when I was stressing over having to reach these so called goals) "where is it written that this is the way it has to be?"
Do what you want. Preserve your freedom and protect your happiness. You can still be a grown up and do grown up things, just be sure to do them on YOUR terms. And to hell with what you think people might think and say. It isn't their life, it's yours.
It's a mean world out there, folks. Don't get eaten up by it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-11-07 08:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those awful flaps of flab and skin hanging off the arm of the girl on he left.
===
consider the source: http://www.ubersite.com/m/111836
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-11-07 08:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"What's next?" is a question I ask myself all the time. The last 7 years of my life has been devoted to the girls and their beginning in life. Important work, but as the husbands career soars I'm still on the ground waiting to taxi out on to the runway. Next year my youngest will be in kindergarten and at 31 years I'll be headed back to school for the first time since I was 20. Excited? Yes. Anticipating? Yes. Scared out of my mind over what I have lost in all that time? OH YES.
But it's change I'm looking forward to most, a way to rebuild who I am and what I'll become beyond the realm of "mom and wife".
Congrats on getting out of the rut.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-07 08:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Which one are you?
It makes a difference on my rating.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am more of a Malibu girl. Baileys for special occassions. Babycham and were really pushing the boat out.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dunno Pheely. She was probably out of her head on smack and/or Tia Maria.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those awful flaps of flab and skin hanging off the arm of the girl on he left.
This Holly character seems all nice and cute but how much so to put a photo on the net so unflattering to her two best mates.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright, I've been staring at that picture for ages. What batwings are you on about, Pheely?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Better to be on the bottom rung of a ladder you want to climb etc...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Trannymission...you just lost what little points you had with me. That girl is a fucking disgrace to all grainy pictures. That twat is a disgrace to cameras from the 1700's. If a truck full of lubed dildos capsized on her she still couldn't get fucked.
p.s. Cameras weren't invented until the late 1800's (I think).
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you'd flirt with a Scotsman if you thought you could get anywhere.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The girl on the right is not ugly, she looks quite toned, i would imagine she's a rower or rugby lady, I would certainly flirt with her.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:06:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phew, finally someone mentioned those batwings.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:03:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-07 11:50:53 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
sico - she is the one in the middle
=======
Fucking where, I can't see her in that minute picture.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:03:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sico, yu're right, I'm not sure what came over me, i think i may be ill.
The two on either side are real mingers.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
is this women English or American or Mongoliodian
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holly is a lovely girl. She does make bad decisions though.
Hey, perhaps you've got a chance with her Sico!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Of course she is...and she ought to be ashamed of herself, surrounding herself with heathens like that put herself up on a pedestal. Although, now that I think of it... you, orph, +2ing this, and knowing which one she is I certainly hope that I'm not making one at your expense. You happen to be my favorite poster as of current.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sico - she is the one in the middle
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tell the fat putrid shit on the left of this picture to hit the treadmill for about 5 days straight and to do somewhere in the neighborhood of 523,890 crunches. Tell the ugly make-up factory on the right that although I'm typically not an advocate of plastic surgery that she'd be prime candidate for a reality show titled "From Farm Animal to Presentable." She only gets "presentable" because there's very little hope for her. Tell the slut in the middle to lick the back.
Okay, I think I'm done being mean here.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-07 11:04:11 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
unfortunately, I'm rich and successful, so can't really relate - but have a +2 for your troubles. Chin up.
----------------
If she's the fatty it woudl be 'chins up'
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You always have a choice, as long as you can accept the consequences, so there's no reason to be 'stuck' anywhere or doing anything. In this world, no one owes you happiness except yourself.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Unless you are the proud owner of the cunt from the broad in the middle, I will personally come smack your fucking head off your shoulders for posting grainy pictures of fat, ugly people. And if you are the owner of the cunt from the the broad in the middle, SHOW US YOUR TITS.
*reserves the right to come back and rate on tit points*
Clearly, I didn't read this.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
unfortunately, I'm rich and successful, so can't really relate - but have a +2 for your troubles. Chin up.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:02:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
IT'S TOO SMALL, I CAN'T SEE IT!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-07 05:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So which lady are you??, i was blinded for a moment and had to widen my eyes
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-07 05:57:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who said I was dissociating myself? That would be hard to do, considering the fact that I've been on here since 5 a.m. yesterday.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-07 05:54:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i can't beleive no has asked the all important question;
show us your tits! (or slot depending on who you are)
wow uber, all this philosphy and no depravity nor stupidity.
are we growing up?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-11-07 05:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Kaos.
I get that completely.
My problem is, as much as I try to fight the expectations and do the right thing for myself, I feel like the pressure is still there.
It's self-inflicted, I'm sure.
Are you my age?
________________________________
I just turned 30 in September. In my early/mid 20's I was with an ex-girlfriend for 7 years. We lived together, and were probably going to marry when she got done with college. I worked as a customer service rep for 2 different large companies for a number of years (and hated it.) One of the many reasons my life is so different now is because I wasn't happy: I really didn't want the white picket fence, the 9-5 job, the 2.5 kids and the rest of that.
Some people dream of that life. To me, it's a nightmare.
Don't ever let your so-called peers or your family dictate your life's path for you. If maturnity, marriage and morgage aren't for you; great! There's nothing that says these are absolutes in life. And honestly, the people who push the hardest are probably the people who are the most miserable with the choices they've made...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 04:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well golly, long time no see pretty lady. I hope you've had fun over the last year.
So yeah... you'll be fine. From what I can recall you don't have anything inherantly wrong with your brain or some kind of gross character defect so you should be able to find whatever it is you're looking for. Whatever that is.
Anyway, welcome back home.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-11-07 03:36:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:55:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a great read, and you're so pretty that it's hard to believe you've immersed yourself in this online haven for socially awkward nerds even for a minute.
===
the more you try to dissociate yourself with the rest of the pack, the less it works.
if anything, this place has become pretty boring because there is no colorful social retards to laugh at anymore.
http://tinyur.com/cob77
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-11-07 03:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i really liked this cuz i can relate.
though i am not at the same point.
i've reached the point where i'm just utterly bored with my "career" too. i've always been in fact. i don't even like computers and i spend most of my days if not more fucking around on the internet at work, as indicated by my # of reviews here. talk about "passion". the only reason i still work is cuz i'm a l33t bullshitist. i should be a salesman.
i just haven't manage to kick my ass to make a change. i have a few debts left and to be honest, i know what i don't want but i don't know what i want. when you numb your brain to go throuh a job you don't like for years, you eventually lose track of yourself.
plus i'm stretching a shitty relationship that just isn't gonna work. i don't even know why i persist when i really enjoy/miss being single.
i tell myself "but it's so perfect...i got a great job and a girl who is my perfect match (on paper)!" when in reality neither interest me anymore. i've lost interests in many other things in the process...i've even stopped playing music. never thought that would happen.
i need to think about that and readjust my life.
the older i get, the more stupid i feel for letting time slip by like that.
OKAY, I ADMIT IT! I JUST WANT TO BE A HAIRDRESSER AND HAVE A BOYFRIEND *WEEPS*
</blog entry>
at least i got good friends
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-11-07 02:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:55:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a great read, and you're so pretty that it's hard to believe you've immersed yourself in this online haven for socially awkward nerds even for a minute. (You are the one with the phone, right?)
That said, I think more people need to understand the level of control that they have over their own lives--if they did, many of their problems could be solved. I just graduated this year, I'm single, and I feel like with world is mine. It's the first time I've ever realized my own freedom, and how dependent my happiness is on freedom. I feel like I am surrounded by a lot of people who make excuses for their stress and unhappiness, and I'm glad I'm learning not to do that anymore.
Do you not feel right because you are lonely? I think sometimes that independent, driven people focus so much on themselves that they lose out on forming deep bonds with other people because it weighs them down and is an obstacle to personal achievement. Everybody needs love.
Well, that was a lot of flowery bullshit, I hope you enjoyed it.
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto -2 for not thinking about your life better. For shame.
My advice to you... Buy a book on grifting, con your friends out of their money, use that money to go back to college, major in something worthwhile, get a fun job like aerospace engineer or heart surgeon, then make loads more money so you can stop bitching. OR you could not do all that and just stop bitching all together, and accept your crappy life and ineptitude. Either way, you win, I win, and most of all...uber wins.
Respek the uber. Peace.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Kaos.
I get that completely.
My problem is, as much as I try to fight the expectations and do the right thing for myself, I feel like the pressure is still there.
It's self-inflicted, I'm sure.
Are you my age?
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I would love to be able to make the picture smaller and more viewable, but.....
well, you see, my hard drive broke down about two weeks ago and I no longer have the programs that I used to, and I've lost my je ne sais quoi... and don't have the uber contacts to guide me through this terrible crisis so.....
shut the fuck up.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why should you HAVE to get married in your early/mid 20's?
Why should you HAVE to have children in your early/mid 20's?
Why should you HAVE to own a home in your early/mid 20's?
Why should you HAVE to settle into a career in your early/mid 20's?
I know a lot of people that have done all of these things. I know a lot of people of this site that have done all of these things. I suppose (for some reason) they think it's the "correct" or "adult" thing to do. They are lying to themselves. SOME of them may be content, but I doubt every single one of them is happy. So many young people are in such a hurry to 'grow up' that they don't take the time to enjoy their own youth. I was one of them.
Fuck every single person who tells you that you have some kind of imaginary responsibility to live up to. Chances are, they're just bitter that they fell into the trap. Live your own life for you and whatever makes you happy.
Big freakin' picture, by the way...
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW!
Shitty writing and an awful, grainy photo!
Whatever DID I do before you came along?