I'm In Love With A Stripper (678 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.08 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cody <happysatn.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-11-07 02:02:35 EST
The Valley is probably the best nightlife district in Brisbane, notorious for illegal prostitution and drug dealers on nearly every corner - naturally, this is where I spend the majority of my weekend. Starting off at the usual watering hole, knocking back a few brews over a game of pool we decided to hit the first club. 'The Planet' was closest and with $5 Jager Bombs, who the fuck is going to miss this place? Pretty fucked up we moved onto the next several clubs until we made our way to the ol' strippers.
After staring at the half naked door woman for a few minutes we paid our money, got our stamps and took our seats in front of some gorgeous women merrily fucking a pole for our viewing pleasure. Getting drunker by the second I became a target to all the money-hungry whores who talked the usual shit about how nice/different/good-looking/etc, etc. I am. Having quiet a few ex-stripper friends, I know the tricks and try not to fall for their money-seducing bullshit. I didn't tip any of them, I didn't want to tip any because I'd already spotted a fucking angel - a naked fucking angel, who fortunately for me was getting ready for her dance.
Finally my naked angel climbed on stage and began her seductive dance, shaking her tits and waving her ass in an almost hypnotic way. I couldn't help it, I was going to waste my money on this bitch and I knew it. I took the front row seat (the tipping area) and she shot me a smile as she cat walked up and sat on the edge of the stage with her tits barely an inch from my face. I asked her name, she replied, "Lolly" I smiled and said I was Cody. I asked how her night was going, she replied predictably with a "better now that you're here babe" which forced a smile from me again. "I bet you just said that to the other 10 guys next to me", she said that she didn't and with a wave of her leg strap she beckoned for me to tip her. Fuck it I thought, whipping out a $20 I rubbed it up her leg and put it firmly in her leg strap. With a grin she wrapped her legs around my shoulders and gave me a little private dance, surprisingly throughout this she told me a fair bit about herself - she seemed like a typical girl and not one of the usual odd creatures strippers generally are. Still, I knew she just wanted money and that was that.
Lolly finished her dance, walked over to me and with a kiss on my cheek she told me she'd give me half an hour alone with her for half price - though only because she liked me. Damn I thought, this bitch is really fucking good, who the fuck is going to say no to something that pretty (obviously not me). I said I'd meet her out the back in five.
Withdrawing a $50 I went out the back where she was waiting, I gave her the $50 which she then gave to her manager in return for her cut. She took my hand and led me playfully to a private room. Finding one she liked she led me inside and sat me on a chair and began to undress. She asked me if I knew the rules, I said "yep, no touching thong area" she smiled and said, "and no oral contact baby", I nodded and said of course. I was putty in this bitches hand at this point, I'm quite sure I would've nodded agreement to anything that came out of those shiny lips.
Lolly beckoned for me to slide off her thong as she continued to dance with her ass & tits alternating an inch from my face. She then told me to spread my legs as she nestled herself against my cock while she rubbed her tits across my face and kissed me. Kind of surprised I asked what the fuck happened to no oral contact? With a bashful look she asked me if I didn't like it, I pulled her down to kiss her again in response. Following this Lolly's dance turned into a wild dry fuck complemented with heavy kissing. I wanted to fuck her so badly - though I didn't want my ass beaten by bouncers for trying. The more she rubbed that perfect cunt up and down on my un-fortunately clothed cock the more I wanted to feel it and fucking taste it. I wanted to be inside this bitch and I'm sure it showed.
Lolly seemed to be enjoying our kissing as much as me and I noticed the expression on her face wasn't the typical 'I'm a stripper, I'm hot, give me your money you stupid fuck', it was more of a 'fuck me now' look. I grasped her ass with both hands and pulled her into my thrust, Lolly then pried my right hand from her ass and with a smile pushed it firmly onto her cunt. I didn't need anymore fucking encouragement; I slipped a finger in her cunt - followed by two more. I picked her up and sat her on the seat and with my tongue longing for her taste, I looked up for her approval (still fearing security were going to fucking kill me). Without a word and with both hands she pulled my head down and into her cunt. Either I was really drunk or Lolly's pussy tasted better then any I'd ever had. I licked and sucked her cunt till my tongue hurt and my cock was about to rip a hole in my pants. I un-zipped and pulled my schlong out to breathe which she grabbed and furiously pulled on while she stood up to meet my kiss. She pushed me back on to our love seat which was deliciously moist from the growling out I just gave her and she slowly got onto her knees and took me into her mouth. She moved her face up and down for about 30 seconds when to my utter horror she finished.
Lolly told me she had to go and clean herself up before her dance in 15 minutes. I wondered what she meant by 'cleaning herself up'. Did that mean somehow making her pussy look less used for the delight of the other men? She pulled me up and kissed me again, which is always less fucking enjoyable when the girl has just had your cock in her mouth. She opened the door and I walked out, she then pulled me back by the shoulder and asked if I always walk in public with my cock hanging outside my jeans. Zipping up, she asked me for my phone, I gave it to her without a word (still putty), she smiled and kissed me on the cheek. Handing my phone back, Lolly was gone, presumably to go 'clean herself up'. Hating awkward situations I decided to leave before Lolly's next dance.
Waking up the next morning and flicking through my phone I found a new number with the name, Lolly next it. The bitch never did give me her real name...
Well it is Friday night tonight, (and I don't seem to have contracted herpes or any other fun STD's) should I call Lolly? Do I really want anything to do with a stripper? Definitely not when I'm sober. When I'm drunk - well who the fuck knows.
P.S I meant to post this last Friday but didn't get a chance. The weekend is gone and I didn't call Lolly. Still tempting.
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2008-01-10 21:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice job. call the number. just try not to be a dumbass
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-11-07 13:04:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Seedy.
And not even in a mildly erotic way- just cheap filth, hyperspeed porn for the titillation generation. I actually pity you.
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2007-11-07 12:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 12:54:48 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Suddenly ever Uber guy has screwed a stripper. Vigins.
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4 actually.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-07 08:16:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Suddenly ever Uber guy has screwed a stripper.
____
Does a chicken count as a stripper if it was on stage...?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I dated one for a brief while back in the early 80's. She looked great in leopard prints...but she was dumb as a box of rocks.
I met her at the DMV, of all places.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Suddenly ever Uber guy has screwed a stripper. Vigins.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the twisted comments on this post... Some of you guys have a genuinly worrying perspective on women and human relationships.
Where do you people come from?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:24:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, to be honest the chicken was half-dead from all the rape.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My last experience with a stripper ended up with a horrible "You break it you bought it" situation where i found myself in the middle of Tijuana with a live chicken and nowhere to prepare or eat it. Good times.
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Strippers and prostitutes really know how to fuck, and it's a darn sight more fun than sticking your cock into an English girl with an attitude problem who thinks her pussy is god's gift. Just don't get fucked over...
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-11-07 07:06:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Having had a fling with a stripper/burlesque dancer I say you have to go for it. Best sex I ever had. The private shows in the comfort of your living room are worth it alone.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's good to see that Skrappy has retained his rosey view of the human condition.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Uh, fucking ring her you dickhead!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:53:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Call the number. She will answer, and tell you to meet her someplace with some cash so she can get away from her boyfriend/pimp. You will go. When you arrive, her boyfriend/pimp and a couple of his larger buddies will kick the shit out of you and take your money. She will laugh at you. You, being a complete idiot, will have in no small part earned this treatment.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-07 06:39:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I was really truly in love with a stripper, unfortunately. And because she wouldn't change, I left her.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-07 04:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, is she really that small and out of focus in real life?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 04:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I have a thing about strip clubs; never been in one and probably never will. The very idea freaks me out completely. I mean I imagine I'm there, with my mates probably, and we're staring at this woman. She's naked, dancing above us rubbing her hands over her tits and we're all staring at each other. I look away, glance at the friend sat next to me and then realise we're all say in a circle around some bird, publically erect.
Afterwards they'd be all "Yeah that was awesome, I thought I was goint to leap up out of my chair and ram it in her there and then!" and I'll be silent thinking: I am SO not comfortable with this. That place smelt weird and the doormen were really scary and those other lads were shouting really louldy and God... we were all there, in this horrible, terrifying place, sharing this ghastly, semi-sexual experience that runs contrary to everything I've been raised to believe as proper. It's the most unsexy thing ever. In fact I-I actually feel like going to church and buying a volvo or something.
SO there I am, thinking all these horrible thoughts and my friends, some of whom I've known for over ten years, are suddenly these repulsive strangers talking about gang fucking some girl in public on a podium and that's it, you know? That's just it. Game Over. I wouldn't be able to spend time with them properly ever again and then I'd just spend all my time on my own, not trusting my own warped sense of propriety to be able to deal with the real world. After that, there would only be madness and death.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-07 04:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Rather than call her, maybe think about why it is you need to go to a strip club to get any action.
Realising that you have a miserable and empty shell of a life, you'll kill yourself but in your dying moments a playful smile will wash across your lips as you whisper,
"Thankyou, HurtByTheSun, thankyou!"
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-07 04:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I have nothing to say other than I did no really like this.
And my trip to a lap dancing club did not pan out like this one.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-07 04:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Really trashy. Not in a good way, just the kind of feeling you get when you see a broken down homeless begging on a dirty street. This feeling is compounded by the fact it reads like it's writtian by a 16 year old which, when one considers the cheap & grimy language, is extaordinarily depressing.
Oh my God. There are so many cheap, dirty, unhappy people just flopping about in these horrible places. They get ideas in their heads and start business making and selling trailers or get some equally messed up low-person preggers. Drinking heavily with their mates all the time. Then the winter comes and it's cold and dark and nobody is buying any trailers and the baby cries all the time and she keeps fucking crying and shouting and screaming and my God, my God it's all just so fucking awful. Just thinking about it makes me want to break down and cry.
I'm totally going to have to spend a few minutes remembering how middle class and comfortable I am.
*huff huff*
Okay. So yeah, this post is appaling. So much so that it is actually bad for you.