The wombats of Madison County (715 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -0.46 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by franzferdipants (View user info) at 2007-11-12 04:16:34 EST
Two furry brown creatures scurried through the grass in the moonlight.
"OMG!!!" said one of them.
"LOL!! LOL!!!!!111oneoneone" replied the other.
They had both managed to scurry away just in time. From the top the hill they spied two humanoids engaging in intercourse. It was most amusing to them.
"Did you see how, like, those dudes were totally on top of each other??!?!!? LOL LOL LOL"
"Ha, ROFL," replied the other. "Ya, like, pwned dude."
They had indeed seen two men lie together. It was not an unusual occurrence out here in the Buggery Mountains. In fact, they chanced upon such events almost every night. It was like that for most of the fair country of Australia. The population was in a siege of a gay epidemic.
It had started simply enough. After several centuries of struggle the government finally caved in and legalised gay marriage. Nobody was prepared for the cultural onslaught that followed. Men married men, women married women. It was anarchy.
Nine months later came a shocking realisation. The gays were breeding. Just as heterosexuals have heterosexual babies, so did homosexuals have homosexual babies. Especially the men.
The country could not survive such an incredible outpouring of gay abandon. Those marriage laws were the only thing keeping the threat of the gays under wraps. If only they could turn back time. If only they could repeal the law and turn things back the way they once were.
But it was too late. The gays had won. Gay children had even gayer children. It should have been obvious that gay children would breed quicker than heterosexuals. After all, being gay means that you like fucking children. They did not listen. All the warning signs were there. Scientific experiments from the 1940s had already proved that the gays were inferior. That they should not be allowed to continue.
All of that was far from the minds of the two furry creatures. They were what used to be called wombats. Of course, after the Gay Revolution people were too busy fucking to get an education. Now they were not really called anything. There were gays, children, inanimate objects and animals to fuck. Nobody had time for a stupid marsupial.
Of course that did not last very long. The gays, inflamed with passion, turned the beady little eyes onto the poor creatures. After all, gays like animals of the same sex. Suddenly the gayness had spread across the boundaries of the species and into the animal kingdom. Human/wombat hybrids did not appear. That would be silly. Who do you think you are, supposing that such a thing was possible? Are you a geneticist? Did you even do biology in school? No, I thought not.
The gayness spread. Wombats, soon fucked by their homosexual homosapien gay cousin, turned gay themselves. It was not their fault. It was inevitable. Soon most of the Australian continent was gay.
Except for the cane toads. Nobody wanted to fuck them.
The two wombats continued on their merry way. They were delighted to see that the gayness was still in effect. They liked the gay. Revelled in it, you could say.
"Dude, lol!!1 ;)" said one wombat to the other. The wink was significant. It had become a distinct part of the Australian language. Because there were so many gays on the internet, you see. Soon it came into the language. You had better beware. Watch your back. More than usual, I mean. You never know when a :P might swing by and take your eye out. It can ruin your whole day.
"=P" replied his furry companion. Ok, now it was getting a little strange. Not for them. For us. Us heterosexual observers. No, we are not gay at all.
This was the beginning of the wombat courting ritual. It began subtly:
"FUFCK FFUUK FFUFCCK!!!!" screamed the larger, dominant wombat, overcome with passion. This was the normal course of gay sex. If you are gay and bigger than anybody else around you then were allowed to rape them. Too bad if you are heterosexual or something. Doesn't matter. You will get raped and then you will be gay. It is a pity, but that is just the way gay people were. Didn't you know that?
The dominant wombat, called "Scruffy" by his friends or "aarrghh!" by smaller passers-by, roughhoused the smaller wombat whose name was yet to be determined.
"You are my gay bitch lol!" he said to the other wombat, swiping at his face with a claw. "Pwned XD"
Pinky, now the name for the smaller wombat, gave up his struggles. He knew that it was pointless. If he fought back now he knew that he would lose. Even if he did manage to fend off his butt crazy tormentor he would still have to win the war. The war against gay kind that would erupt if he violated the Gay Code. There was no defying the Code. Not unless you liked being reamed with a baseball bat. Unlike last Saturday Pinky was not in the mood for that.
Scruffy was soon face fucking poor little Pinky. Because of the gay disease and how it worked Scruffy no longer had just a normal wombat penis. It had grown. Grown with his desires. Grown from the potent gay juice deposited deep into his ass by all the other gays. He was a totally gay wombat with a totally huge gay penis. It was so gay he could make it sing show tunes.
Pinky had no time for Broadway. Even though he loved, for some reason having Scruffy violently jamming his foot long cock disturbed his concentration. It was difficult to stop from throwing up. But Scruffy did not care. He liked it when they threw up. As a gay he liked all bodily excretions. Cum, piss, vomit, shit. Let it all come out, he said. That was what all the gays said.
Scruffy scraped his claws across Pinky's back. Pinky had such a delicious soft fluffy back. That was what attracted him to little Pinky. He wanted to be on top of that back. He wanted Pinky to be completely powerless.
Soon Scruffy tired of the face fucking shenanigans. He commanded Pinky to stand up as he reclined onto his back. Pinky was going to have to sit on him. Sit on his hard cock, thick like a coke can and glistening with the saliva of his gay bitch. Then he would have to move around and enjoy it. Because he was the gay now. He had no choice. Once you had gotten the gay there was no going back.
Pinky's body would not listen to him. He was supposed to be heterosexual. He was raised by good, proper, religious heterosexual wombat parents. Or maybe... wait. Memories were coming back. Pinky thought that his mother and father were just private people. That was why they never showed each other any affection at home. They were saving it for the bedroom. Hot straight sex no doubt. With the man wombat on top and the woman wombat on the bottom. It was the way. The right way.
But maybe.... no! He refused to consider it. But still. There were memories. Memories of times when he was a child. His mother was often out. She had a sewing circle she said. Father would stay at home. They had a tennis court out back. Father would often hire a tennis instructor. A strong, virile young tennis instructor. He said that learning tennis was a long, laborious process. Why, some wombats took years to make it onto the court. So father and the tennis instructor would often spend hours practicing their game... in THE BEDROOM!
Thinking about it, maybe father was the gay. Maybe he was the gay too. He was beginning to come around as the gayness worked his way deep into his marsupial anus. Perhaps mother was the gay as well. She was always out with her things. Sewing circles, knitting groups. Women's golf. Golf was especially difficult for her. She was always coming back and complaining of being stiff and sore. Some days she could barely sit down.
"Oh well, my parents were the gay, I must be the gay," thought Pinky. He was right. There was gayness now and there was nothing he could do about it. He could feel it, deep inside, thrusting inside him. It was thick. He was feeling stretched, almost split apart. But at least it was slippery. There was a lot of problems some times when father did not use enough lubricant.
Scruffy was violently thrusting inside of Pinky. Pinky had a tight ass. It was good. He wondered if Pinky was an underage wombat. The thought excited him even more as he was a gay and like to fuck children. But this position was not enough. He needed more. MOARR!!!
Pinky was thrown against a tree, then savagely buggered from behind. But that was ok. The gayness was fully seeped within him. He loved it. Pinky could not wait before he could go to a wombat school and start fucking every single schoolchild that he could find. That was his way. He was totally gay.
With his prostate at the mercy of his homosexual assaulter Pinky had no choice but to be incredibly aroused. He totally managed to be completely hard. His wombat penis was already growing to humongous homosexual proportions. He couldn't wait to plunge it into someone, anyone, totally smaller than himself. After all it his gay right to fuck whoever he wanted under the Gay Code.
It was liberating, being raped by a large wombat. He could not imagine life before it. There was something about it. Something unfulfillable. He just had to spread around the gayness.
Suddenly he was flipped onto his back. Scruffy fucked him roughly, reaching down to stroke Pinky's gigantic member with his paw. The sensation was indescribable. Pinky thought he would totally have to get fucked by everyone. It was the way. The only way. Everyone else was obviously stupid and should be raped.
Scruffy jammed his thick marsupial cock deep inside his fuck bitch. He came like a fire hose, pumping his thick wombat juice of gay deep inside his stupid whore. Pinky felt the rock hard member pounding harshly against his prostate. Suddenly his cock exploded, sending streams of thick ropey semen out over his fur. He licked it up, totally loving the taste of cum. He could not wait for a gang bang.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-13 15:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the gay?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-11-13 08:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not stunningly bad.
Not stunningly good.
Worth reading.
You wouldn't be Electro's apparently newly-discovered furry alter-ego, would you, there, franzferdipants bin Wombat?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-13 05:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by franzferdipants (user info) at 2007-11-13 02:04:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
So much hostility :(
========
So much shit. Welcome to uber.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-13 05:41:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yes, how rude of me to forget.
Welcome to Uber.
Have fun!
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-11-12 21:45:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Human/wombat hybrids did not appear. That would be silly. Who do you think you are, supposing that such a thing was possible? Are you a geneticist? Did you even do biology in school? No, I thought not."
I'll be honest, although the entire thing was retarded, there are a few little gems hidden in this. Kind of like a shitty movie with some one-liners. I like one-liners.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-11-12 21:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a fucking mess - and the questionable content your brain produces frightens me a little.
I dig your username
Welcome.
Submitted by franzferdipants (user info) at 2007-11-12 21:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So much hostility :(
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-12 10:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
nice
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-12 10:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN GHEY WOMBATZ?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-12 09:39:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-12 08:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think the proper elongation of the word 'fuck' consists solely of additional 'u' letters
anything else and you sound like a stuttering retard.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-12 06:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Die.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-12 05:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to read this but a few things prevent me from doing so.
Firstly, the title.
Secondly, your account name.
Well I could go on but my head hurts.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-12 04:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this was uh
something
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-12 04:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"OMG!!!" said one of them.
"LOL!! LOL!!!!!111oneoneone" replied the other.