Whats a Valkeriye? (377 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.12 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth Famine <Dork Lord of the Uber> (View user info) at 2007-11-12 13:47:07 EST
Whats a Valkyrie?
She turned and dashed off up the aisle smiling as she went. The costume section was just ahead. I maintained my more sedate pace and laughed softly to myself at her enthusiasm. She began pawing through the costumes almost frantically. "Slow down, they aren't going anywhere." I chided her.
"This one! " she shrieked. "It's perfect!" she exclaimed holding up a naughty angel outfit, that had it adorned an adult version of her might force me to kill many of the passing menfolk. clearing my throat a little I searched for the right way to express my fatherly disapproval without crushing my twelve year old daughter. "It certainly is...."
words failed me. "It's FINE Katie.", her mother swept up with our younger daughter in tow. Smiling sweetly she continued "But your daddy will complain as soon as he figures out how."
Winking at me she took the costume from our eldest and added it to the cart. "It's nice Katie but lets keep looking there might be something else you wanna be instead."
"No way Mom! I wanna be an angel!" She fell into step beside her mother as they wandered off up the aisle. I followed at a discreet distance not sure if I really wanted to overhear their girl talk. "Something wrong?" I started, my niece had snuck up beside me. I chuckled softly. "Nothing a shotgun wouldn't solve." She smiled up at me through her lashes. "I'm going to be a vampire I think, and Amber is going to be a witch." Still casting me that sideways look she asked. "What about you? What are you gonna be?"
Grinning lopsidedly I replied without premeditation "A cowboy of course."
Glancing ahead I beheld a commotion and sauntered up to investigate trailing Sammy behind me. "Well what's all the ruckus about?" I inquired.
Katie brandished a plastic suit of armor at me. "I wanna be a warrior angel Dad!" I glanced at the helmet and mused aloud "put some wings on it and you could be a valkyrie." The wife eyed me appraisingly "Yeah, the minidress in that angel costume should fall almost to her knees." Repressing the urge to growl an obscenity at the thought of my daughter dessed up in that angel's outfit I looked at Katie. "Daddy, what's a Valkyrie?"
I smiled down at her "According to the norse they are spirits of air that take the forms of beautiful and ferocious women, they are skilled warriors who carry the souls of the fallen warriors to the eternal feast in Valhalla." Her eyes widened "Do they have wings?" Nodding I replied "Well yes they do." She threw the suit of armor into the cart and declared. "I wanna be one!"
A few days later we assembled for the pre launch briefing. Katie was dressed in her long white tunic, a breastplate overlaid this. Her helmet had wings attached to it by now and a real sword from our collection adorned her hip. My sister in law fussed over her blonde hair finally completing the long braid that hung down her back to her waist.
If I didn't know better I'd swear she WAS a valkyrie. I paused to check my own sword, switching my staff to my left hand I checked the holster for my revolver and the crystal in my pocket.
All was in readiness, we were prepared for everything from the mundane to the godly. The rest of the evening was spent walking, watching, and explaining to everyone who asked exactly what a valkyrie was.
User Reviews
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2007-11-12 14:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What stinks worse than Paris Hilton's overpopulated cooch, has seen more camera's than Madonna's vagina, looks at attractive as Roseanne Bar's fat pussy and farts more than a cow at a bean factory?
your mom's va-jay-jay
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-11-12 14:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, that's what happens when you shop for halloween costumes at Victoria's Secret, silly.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-11-12 14:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-12 11:06:16 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
Scientific surveys estimating the frequency of zoosexual activity, as well as anecdotal evidence and informal surveys, suggest that more than 1-2% — and perhaps as many as 8-40% — of sexually active adults have had significant sexual experience with an animal at some point in their lives. Studies suggest that a larger number (perhaps 10-30% depending on area) have fantasized or had some form of brief encounter. Larger figures such as 40-60% for rural teenagers (living on or near livestock farms) have been cited from some earlier surveys such as the Kinsey reports, but some later writers consider these uncertain.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-11-12 14:18:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-12 14:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"I play Wagner"
"It scares the hell out of the gooks"
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-12 14:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Scientific surveys estimating the frequency of zoosexual activity, as well as anecdotal evidence and informal surveys, suggest that more than 1-2% — and perhaps as many as 8-40% — of sexually active adults have had significant sexual experience with an animal at some point in their lives. Studies suggest that a larger number (perhaps 10-30% depending on area) have fantasized or had some form of brief encounter. Larger figures such as 40-60% for rural teenagers (living on or near livestock farms) have been cited from some earlier surveys such as the Kinsey reports, but some later writers consider these uncertain.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-12 13:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bum ba ba bum ba
bum ba ba bum ba
bum ba ba bum
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-12 13:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Two awful posts, one day. Well done.