Lost (718 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by netimportant (View user info) at 2007-11-15 03:23:30 EST
Tonight, I looked for a job on craigslist. I felt like I had already applied for most of the jobs I was qualified for in the cities I was willing to live and I was tired of trying to write fresh-seeming cover letters. I got distracted and clicked on "puerto rico" and then "buenosaires" and then "rio de janeiro." Then I looked up Belize in Google Maps. Then I started scrolling to see where other countries were in relation to the equator. I had never realized Thailand and Vietnam were so far south, so I looked up Vietnam in Wikipedia to read about its climate.
I realized I was wasting time and wanted to get back to doing something I should be doing, but I felt like there was too much on my mind to do anything at all. I wanted to talk to someone, but I knew that the particular things I had to say were not worth talking about and that I would probably end up saying very little. I decided I would write instead. I had a dozen ideas about what I could write, and two dozen reasons why I shouldn't write about them. I wrote a few sentences and erased them because nothing I was typing was remotely doing justice to the ideas I was actually trying to express. I stared at the white screen.
Since I was congested with inexpressible feelings, I thought music would take me to that next level where words aren't necessary in order to vent. I played a track called "Nyah and Ethan," by Hans Zimmer; it has beautiful violins and a Spanish guitar. I got out my own classical guitar and tried to play along with it, but I don't really know how to play my guitar. My fingers were lost on the strings.
Thinking about my lost fingers made me think about how generally lost I am, which is why I can't write a good cover letter or talk to a friend or form a meaningful, complete thought. I am just lost. I don't know where I am going to live or work or who is going to be around me, who my real friends are and if they are going to stay in my life. A few years ago, I had a plan that I was sure of, and now the only thing I am sure of is that I have no plan.
User Reviews
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-23 21:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been trying to limit my job search to warm places and Chicago, since I already have friends there. I work in Cleveland now but only so I can live at home till I get a better job. I wouldn't willingly move to Canada.
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2007-11-23 19:44:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I sent this to every printer in the office, and I have no intention of going to collect the pages.
Hopefully someone will find it.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-11-23 16:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the city of montreal has plenty of game designing offices or CGI studios and tons of IT (i.e. web design) . i assume that's in your field. if you're interested...here's one of the biggest ones http://jobs.ubisoft.ca/en/
i don't live there anymore, so you won't have to fear teh rape.
montreal is a good place where all that matters is having fun. perefct for people with no plans. it's relatively cheap. you can always move on the Plateau Mont-Royal, which has the highest concentration of artists on the continent, and join the weird but vibrant tiny english-speaking community of the Mile End.
just a thought.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-18 16:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I should just join the Peace Corps. It would teach me to stop caring about insignificant things.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-16 20:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-16 20:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-16 14:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you realize with a four year degree you're qualified for just about anything now. a good amount of employers don't actually care what you studied just that you have the degree. as long as obviously you're not going for things like doctor, lawyer, nurse.
Yeah, people say that, but it's not really true. I've applied for upwards of 50 jobs by now and been to 3 interviews.
---
you've been to three interviews after applying for fifty?
you're doing a lot fucking better than you think.
take the first job you get offered. that's part one. part two, and this is the important bit, is to never, ever, ever stop looking for a better job. part three, never, ever, ever turn down that beter job. part four, see part two.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2007-11-16 20:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with
family, religion, community service. But those were all dead ends. I
think this chair is the answer.
-- Homer Simpson
Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-16 20:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-16 14:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you realize with a four year degree you're qualified for just about anything now. a good amount of employers don't actually care what you studied just that you have the degree. as long as obviously you're not going for things like doctor, lawyer, nurse.
Yeah, people say that, but it's not really true. I've applied for upwards of 50 jobs by now and been to 3 interviews.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-11-16 18:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-16 15:18:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-11-16 15:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You are a chaotic blend of stoic observation and melodramatic attention-whorage.
Seems you were born in the wrong era. Methinks you would enjoy the agony of a corset.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-16 14:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you realize with a four year degree you're qualified for just about anything now. a good amount of employers don't actually care what you studied just that you have the degree. as long as obviously you're not going for things like doctor, lawyer, nurse.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-16 14:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart <3s Lisa.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-11-16 13:54:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-15 13:58:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-11-15 13:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-15 12:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Believe me, it's not that I don't know how to write, it's just that good writing takes time. And since I realize that Ubersite is a wasteland of substance abusers, perverts, lunatics, and ugly people who will respond by ordering me to show them my hole, describing how they'd like to pluck out my eyeballs with an ice cream scoop, or bragging about how they drank themselves into oblivion and showered a stripper with hundred dollar bills and took her home and fucked her and kicked her out. Therefore, there's no reason not to use it as my personal diary for writing the most tedious crap imaginable, as its value can't possibly deteriorate further, and expending effort on anything more substantial when I have other things to do is hard to justify.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-15 10:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
familiar sentiment.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-15 09:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think the real reason why you can't write a cover letter is because you seem like a "no bullshit" type and cover letters are basically nothing but bullshit, even for the jobs you want and feel qualified for. Cover letters are a waste of paper if you ask me, and the "Objective" is a waste of space and ink.
Maybe you just understand deep down how ridiculous the process is. Something like that can easily make you feel lost. Once you find a job it won't matter.
As for the rest, I'm not going to pop-psychologize your ass, but it may just be frustration from the job hunt bleeding into your creative life.
Of course I may just be talking out of my ass... take it or leave it.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-15 09:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-15 08:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think you're right ant.
my apologies to you and lisa
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-11-15 08:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This could have been really good if some of the ideas had been explored more.
It seems when you actually try to write, it doesn't suck really, but it's often too short...
I'm also now convinced that Muddy/BAMF thinks basically everything is a blog. I don't think he really knows what that word means.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-11-15 08:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-15 07:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what a blog
you are the female equivalent to KaosKing, you guys should hook up
-----
Heh
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-15 08:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you could have played with yourself instead of writing this.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-15 07:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what a blog
you are the female equivalent to KaosKing, you guys should hook up
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-15 07:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let's just have some great sex and forget about your problems.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-11-15 07:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Diary,
I can't form a coherent sentence, so I'll just put you on Uber.
Thx
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-15 07:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-15 07:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
p.s dont get one of craigs jobs he sucks ass
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-11-15 06:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Things work out for the best, because that's what things do. - skrapmetal
It's not a question of whether you can, but rather a question of whether you will. - skrap's mom
Ive got angst in my pants. - The Sparks
Hope these help.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-15 06:10:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Waaaaaaahhhhh, I'm lost. Play the movie of your life on that gargantuan forehead of yours and see that it'll last a mere seconds because you haven't accomplished anything worth documenting. Pucker up and make something of yourself. Quit complaining about it.
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-11-15 04:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How the hell are you lost? You're right there.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-15 04:32:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks, sounds amazing in my head. It would fool the luddites berty.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-15 04:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry Em but that is utter bollocks.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-15 04:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People who have a plan are just masking insecurities in there own lives and showing a need to be led. Inspirational people of all generations have a plan but they dont know about it.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-11-15 03:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, you can be confident in the knowledge that it will never get better.
Ha ha!
Good luck walks and bullshit flies.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-15 03:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Feeling lost is a common ailment of those with wit and substance and it's possible to go your whole life without finding your place. I guess all I can say is that you've got to figure out what you're looking for before you can find it. That's the most common problem people have anyway.