The Dirt (1328 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.71 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by triangle_man (View user info) at 2007-11-15 14:08:27 EST
Virgil Bliss was the dirtiest man in Sagadahoc county.
It's said that Virgil was so vile that in winter, steam would rise from his bed like it does from a fresh churned manure pit.
I once asked Virgil if he had a pet, He answered "Ayuh, I've got a pet skunk."
"Where do you keep him", I asked
"Under the bed" was his reply.
"Well what about the smell" I enquired.
He answered, "I guess he'll have to get used to it"
The folks around town had gotten so infuriated with Virgils mess that they petitioned the local constabulary to have Virgil incarcerated.
When Virgils day in court came he stood before the local magistrate to answer the accusation.
The judge asked, "Virgil, How often do you bathe?"
"Once a month yer honah" said Virgil
"Well how often do you change your shirt?" asked the judge.
"Once a year" offered Virgil and continued, "Why judge,how often do you change yours?"
The judge thought for a moment then answered rather crossly, "Once a day, twice if it's hot"
Virgil grinned and said, " Judge, how can you call me dirty if you soil three hundred and sixty five shirts to my one."
Well that did it, the judge slammed down his gavel and sentenced Viril to a bath.
It didn't take long for Virgil to get dirty again. One day he was out in the harbor pulling lobster pots and a pot pulled him, straight way to the bottom. He never came up.
Some people say, that the dirt, just drug him down.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-05 16:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-20 13:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am waiting...
*drums fingers on table impatiently*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-19 17:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you for the interest and fair and honest ratings!
PS camwhore!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-18 10:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-16 22:01:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Clever
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-16 15:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ralphyboy (user info) at 2007-11-16 11:25:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny you should say Jim Varney, the island in the background is Locke Island, Varney point is across from it.
//Too much info
Submitted by ralphyboy (user info) at 2007-11-16 11:24:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's the episode where he was repairing boat moorings on Lake Winnipesaukee in Gilford, NH.
That's where I sail every summer!
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-11-16 09:46:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 mike rowe, he's the man
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-16 09:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY SHIT!
JIM VARNEY HAS RETURNED FROM THE DEAD AND IS REPAIRING BUOYS!
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-11-16 08:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-16 08:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-16 04:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by therealgeddylee (user info) at 2007-11-15 21:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Glorious style. I love it.
Submitted by iacobus (user info) at 2007-11-15 17:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I the only one slighty confused by the baseball cap/wetsuit combination?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-15 16:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha quint
I had a witty reply to the post but then I read the reviews and forgot it.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2007-11-15 16:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice picture. A man with a satisfied look on his face, tied up with chains and covered in grease? Looks like he just spent the night with Method's Mom.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-15 16:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is there anyways of finding out what body of water he is on there?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was from "bouy repair man" aired in June 2007. No idea where though.
Search Discovery channel archives?
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-15 16:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So many dirty people in Sagadahoc county; where to start?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw your review of Maine, This story came to mind.
I miss them bugs, and steamers
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-11-15 15:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:38:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
well puget sound and surrounding inlets are popular dive sites. i think jacques cousteau even said that was one of his favorite areas in the world.
it almost looks like the hood canal.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So many dirty people in Sagadahoc county; where to start?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is there anyways of finding out what body of water he is on there?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 mike rowe, he's the man
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:21:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, water's blue?! All the water in San Antonio is green!
I need to tell the locals about this...
(oh, good mini-story. Man, I am reviewing alot today, I must be bored...)
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:12:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
har har dirty humor
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-15 14:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that looks a lot like the lake i live on