Fish (411 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Randy Rottenbuckets (View user info) at 2007-11-20 03:12:14 EST
Fish
Germaine swam out of his nest today which was odd because Germaine never swam out of his nest. He scuttled about looking for crumbs like any old catfish as if he had never been dormant, in a state of silence or madness. The other catfish looked on with wonder as Germaine went on with what would seem ordinary tasks to most catfish but because it was Germaine took on a celestial feel.
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The other catfish wondered the whys and where's and the what's of Germaine's sudden reappearance, and rumors fell like bricks. But feeding is the job of a catfish, not figuring out the sudden reappearances of odd and sickly cousins. So they fed, and ignored Germaine.
Germaine, however was about to be enlightened.
Whilst nibbling a supple shod of rot the smell of freshness entered his perfectly tuned gills and filled him with wonder. Moving towards it he noticed a gleam in the filth that he couldn't resist. He jabbed at it but the gleaming object moved deftly away from him. This infuriated Germaine and he made a bold swipe at it firmly striking his prey and sinking deeply into the blood-mass filling him with a deep sense of pride. Ecstasy filled his mind for exactly 2 seconds before his jaw was ripped in twain and a hook grabbed his upper jaw bone slinging him from his world.
"I cannot breathe" were his first thoughts in this alien world. "The pain!" was the second". Germaine resisted as aliens grappled his length and held him prostrate.
"How long can I hold my breath" thought Germaine.
He remembers flashes of light and great sounds of lightning. He remembers the light being so bright it could blind you. He remembers his life and his death and the existence of life. He remembers his part in it. And he is blind.
Germaine felt the spike being pried from his jaw, he felt the alien hands sliding across his side, he watched as his world rose to meet him and let the warm embrace of the sea wash over him as he fell into it. For a while he let himself sink. He watched the motor boats engine swirl, and the bubbles that it caused, and he sank. He watched the trail that it made and he sank. He felt the seaweed embrace him and he let it it wrap it's loving arms around him spreading over each and every scale. And then he sped away.
And so it was on that day, the rebirth of Germaine, that he did have a vision of such purity and brilliance that he did weep openly and with great remorse that he did stop feeding and instead with the rhythms of his gills and the shifting of vocal chords he did utter a sound that made all catfish weep. All loved him and all were aware and the catfish did lie in peace and harmony.
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User Reviews
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's The Damned, first album!
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
nope
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-11-20 07:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That unmentionable part of your body, as I hear from the ladies, wouldn't be worth mentioning, even if it could be.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-11-20 07:10:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A worm crawled out of my ass. I was deeply intrigued. The proper things that go through ones mind when a worm crawls from thier ass did not occur to me. I did not freak out. I did not call to my lover to deal with the situation. I simply took the worm from my ass. I began to tug at it and the first tug gave me a startle as it resisted almost pulling my fingers inward. Resisting I began to wind the white maggotess around my forefinger all the while feeling the resistance of the tube that must be eating away at my core. The tug was irresistable. It felt good for the worm to be passing through my colon. The resistance felt good too. It scraped against my colon resisting my tugs.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-20 06:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
1 a day, noob.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2007-11-20 05:37:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I said, you should really move away from using your blog to write this shit. Fish can't hold their breath because they don't have lungs (except, obviously, the lungfish). It left me with more questions that it answered. Who is the fish deity? When did fish evolve vocal cords, and why do they never speak to us? When did catfish obtain tear ducts? It's these questions that poor literature evokes in me.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-20 05:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm so glad i logged in today
Submitted by BokTiet (user info) at 2007-11-20 04:51:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-11-20 04:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nice username
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-20 04:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
maiorano's gonna haxX this for sure.