Bartender's Free (416 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Bartender (View user info) at 2007-11-21 14:47:53 EST
Hi
Having joined, I'm posting these few lines to say something about where I'm coming from. Like many of you, I dabble in a bit of writing from time to time. Some of it has been published on various web pages and forums. Painting and drawing are two other hobbies, although none of the artwork is on the web. The writing tends to deal with a wide range of subjects, some serious and others not so serious. Although it is mainly on factual matters, there is a proportion of fiction. As part of my light hearted intro, and a way of breaking the ice here, something from my fiction collection will be posted. Still undecided as to what exactly to present first, and so to avoid any further delay, here is a just a short sample of my "nonsense writing". Just don't ask me what it means, as I havn't a clue. Hope to post again in the near future. Until then, good luck with your own writing and artwork. Bye for now.
Bartender's Free
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You bare sight of this bar stool wonder
Or feel your butt for an uncertain number
Two thick short ones stuck good and solid
You're looking so sad
Now those drinks taste real bad
And the bartender's grub is so horrid
In sheer desperation
It's a writer's temptation
Lock and load with a thick slimy jacket
Choc full of slime moulds
Feels real good to lose those moles
Can the bartender's butt force still hack it
With a head full of mush
You reach for a brush
But the bung of dung still refuses to come
All that stuffing with bacon cake
Hell that was no bake and take
WOOAH two thick short ones are such heavenly fun
User Reviews
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-22 07:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-22 06:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
haha you doofus
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-22 06:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-11-22 10:47:37 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for getting The Stereophonics' 'Bartender and the Thief' stuck in my head.
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Thanks, cunt.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-11-22 06:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh.
This place is delightfully anti-social at times.
Welcome to Uber. Post better shit.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-22 05:57:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-11-22 05:47:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for getting The Stereophonics' 'Bartender and the Thief' stuck in my head.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-11-21 21:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2007-11-22 06:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This made my head hurt.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2007-11-21 15:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This made my head hurt.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-11-21 15:36:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Better please.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-21 15:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fuck off zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-21 14:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh. I appreciate poetry, but poorly written limericks, not so much.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-21 14:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mmmmm - bacon cake.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-21 14:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good luck and welcome