a beautiful girl (800 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by eric_the_bread (View user info) at 2007-11-22 12:59:18 EST
He was driving down the lonely country road, the air clean and brisk, while the autumn trees dropped their briliant foliage. He was scheduled to meet the
family in a nearby town for Thanksgiving, but it had been years since he had gone, for one reason or another, so he had quite forgotten the way.
he saw an old farm house with a stereotypical red barn beside it coming up on the road. "hmm" he thought to himself. "I didnt know they still made barns
like that!"
So the Man pulled over to see if anybody was around and to ask for directions, hoping that the farmer would know how to get where he was going.
As he neared the farm house he could see smoke coming from the chimney and dogs runnig in the yard. The Man pulls in to the gravel that lines the front
of the house, from the end of the yard to the road, as an old man wearing a ridiculously large fur coat and hat sat on the porch puffing away at an even more
ridiculously sized cigar.
The Man steps out of his car to greet the old man, fully intending to be polite and civil to this geriatric gentleman. Of course, this is not to be.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" yelled the old man in a voice that has seen too much smoke and liquer in its day. As soon as the old one
stoppede talking he collapsed into a fit of horrendous coughing.
"great. another crazy one" sighed the Man as he approached the gate.
"I'm just looking for directions good sir. If you could point me in the direction of Hartsdale, it would mean a lot to me. You see, I'm goi-"
"I DON"T GIVE A RATS ASS WHERE YOU'RE GOING! YOU'RE ON MY PROPERTY GODDAMN IT!"
"Whatever, you crazy old bastard" the Man muttered under his breath. As he was turning to get back into his car, he caught a glimpse of the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen just inside the barn door. He stopped in mid sit, enraptured by her stunning beauty.
The old man noticed his gaze and quickly got a cold calculating look in his eye. "You like what you be seein' there stranger?" the old man asked, this time in
a much more coherent voice.
"My god yes! she's, she's, gorgeous!" the Man replied.
"Well, that theres mah only girl, but she don't do shit for me, all she does is take up space and eat mah food. Lazy worthless bitch!"
The Man felt his blood boil at hearing this exemplar of perfection being described so, and it clearly showed on his red, quivering face.
"So I tells you what i can do for ya sonny. For a MERE, three hundred dollars, I would be willing to let you take her off my hands and save me the
trouble of whiping her ass every other minute for being a lazy whore. So what do you say there sonny? do we have an agreement?"
The Man, manipulated into red hot rage, never hesitated as he tore off the check and thrust it into the old mans hands while rushing over and grabbing
the girl as fast as he could.
The Man could see the wear and tear on her skin as he walked her to his car, while the old man cackled in the background, gloating over his money. He put her in back, as he feared she might be scare at the sudden change of lifestyle.
The man put her into the car and sped off as fast as he could, eager to put the abusive old maniac behind them. He decided to take her out to get cleaned up before he went to the family's house for dinner.
He had only driven for another ten minutes when he saw familiar landmarks and regained his sense of direction. Very soon they were in the right town, and he took her all over to get dressed down for dinner with the family.
Finally everything was ready and the timer was right. He put her back into the car and called ahead to let everyone know that he was on his way with a surprise.
The Man walks into the house, a classic country style home with a wide porch and a swing off to one side, beaming because he knows that he has the most deliciously beautiful girl with him. The family of course oohs and ahhs over her, remarking on her perfect skin and flawless shape.
Soon it is time for dinner, and they all retire to the dining room, where the food is all out and the plates are set. They give the girl the seat of honor, for she is the centerpiece at this table.
The man decides to say grace for his family, since he has been gone so long. "Dear heavenly father, we thank you for this bounty we are about to recieve, and the good health we recieve it in. And we would like to thank you especially for this wonderful guest whose company we could not do with out. Amen."
The family starts to pass plates around, taking what was wanted from each. but all the plates are devoid of one thing, one standard at thanksgivng that is forever present; turkey.
The girl asks why this is, and to this the Man replies, "We feel it is inhumane to kill such a noble creature as a turkey just for some outdated tradition."
As the man has been speaking, he has stood and moved to behind his beautiful girl. "We could not bring ourselves to kill one of god's creations in such a cold manner. It is unbefitting of a civilised human. No, we prefer to dine on something a little more, common than that."
With the last word, he drove the knife he had concealed into her spine, instantly rendering her paralyzed from the waist down. "You see, there are six billion humans on this planet, and we think that there can always be one less."
And then the screaming started in earnest, as each member of the family started slicing off the particular cut of meat they wanted, from her still quivering flesh
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-11-25 00:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-22 10:25:13 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck
is wrong with your
motherfucking form-
atting. You fucking
retard.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-11-23 09:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This is just plain awful.
I'm sorry but it isn't just the formatting. The story never really builds towards anything and the ending is so hurried it was like you couldn't wait to finish it.
This had much potential.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-11-23 01:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
geeeeet it ooon
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-11-22 20:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
It sounds familiar. It was badly written. I'm giving you a -1 because if you did write it you did an ok job (besides the awful formatting and terrible grammar), and if you did plagiarize it, at least you didn't make those awful grammar errors.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-11-22 17:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been cooking and drinking for four hours. +2s for all.
ps, didn't read it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-11-22 16:00:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i just looked at the picture
it disappointed
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-11-22 14:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You made every possible grammatical and formatting error, and something about the story seems familiar. +2 anyway.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-22 14:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't remember what I"m rating but i'm sure it's a -2
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-11-22 14:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Congrats on B@W
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-22 13:25:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck
is wrong with your
motherfucking form-
atting. You fucking
retard.