I Know That In California The Waves Break On The Beach (1523 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Stagger Lee (View user info) at 2007-11-23 02:59:46 EST
We made camp a couple of hours after sunset. Making camp consisted of parking the car in what seemed to be a reasonably deserted field, opening the car doors and stretching a tarp across the gap and down to the ground. This provided a surprisingly roomy, if cut-rate, tent area.
Camping like this always makes Pete think he's some sort of expert bush chef, a cross between Steve Irwin and that British naked bloke. Conveniently, he glosses over the fact that I had to teach him how to make instant noodles and powdered gravy. In the case of the gravy: twice.
He took out the portable stove and began fiddling with it. Ignoring facts is possibly Pete's greatest life skill. His own lack of cooking talent, for one. The fact that the stove hasn't worked in five months, for another. It was battered and somehow greasy despite having cooked nothing for nearly half a year.
Pete had also been ignoring, rather successfully, the news report on the radio that said police were searching for two young men in connection with a murder during an attempted robbery at the pub we had robbed some four days ago. He had stoically refused to mention it, and any attempt I made at baiting the topic went begging. He couldn't be that thick, no matter his talent for self-delusion. He must have realised by now that I killed the bartender.
I never killed anyone before. Nor had Pete.
The stars were thick out her, they always were. Despite the light from our tiny lantern, they blazed across the deep blue sky, white and unreachable.
Pete put the stove in the trunk, seemingly unperturbed by its continuing five-month reticence. He started the car's engine and popped the hood.
"Looks like I'll just fry up some eggs on the engine block," he said, seemingly chipper. I examined his tone carefully, like a master jeweller hunting for a flaw. If he had anything on his mind, I couldn't discern it. He hated confrontation, this was true, and so he could just be avoiding the idea.
Sooner or later, there are always consequences.
"Pass," I said, affecting a nonchalance I didn't feel. "They'll just make me sick." In fact, I felt nauseous, but not from the idea of engine block eggs, as unappealing as that was. "I'll just grab some of the cold food."
"Please yourself," he replied, and again, I scanned his voice for any hint of hostility or distractedness or...I didn't know, really, just some sign if there was anything amiss. I came up empty again, and that was frustrating in way that I couldn't put my finger on; if there was a problem, I could attempt to address it, but this limbo was eating at me.
I couldn't very well say "Look, about that old man I butchered," so I took a warm beer from the back seat and sat just under our makeshift tent awning. We had parked under a tree, and there was something pleasing and soothing about the way the night sky looked when viewed through the sparse branches. But when I looked at the sky I began to reflect, and when I reflected I remembered the bloody mouth forming the word "please."
Much sotto voce cursing later, Pete slammed down the hood of the car and sat down next to me with a plastic plate of eggs and a depressing, warm beer of his own. The eggs sat resentfully in a puddle of grease and miscellaneous black. Something about their underfried surface reminded me of the stretched, waxy skin over a broken bone.
Pete swallowed half his beer in one go and forked shitty eggs into his mouth with industrial efficiency. He paused when halfway through the plate to finish his beer, and I silently fetched him and myself another. When the eggs were gone, he too sat staring at the stars.
"Where to next?" he asked, and his voice was distant. Too distant.
I looked sideways at him. He wasn't looking at me; he was gazing into the middle distance, and he looked as though he were dreaming. I felt a momentary, absurd impulse to ask if he was awake.
"South for a little bit longer, I reckon," I answered, glad to have the practical decision to make. I didn't feel guilty as such. Disconnected, perhaps.
"South's fine," he replied, still in that distant tone. I was unsettled, even more so because I was not used to Pete having any sort of upper hand or leverage in our conversations or lives. He was the yes man, and I was alpha male by default. A relationship older than our country, I'd bet. And usually if the yes man seizes some sort of advantage, it's clumsy, undercooked like his eggs, and ultimately weak. Not so here; he was calm. I couldn't read him, and it was furthering my own sense of futile disconnection.
"Do you think it'll rain soon?" he asked, and his voice was absent of any real inquiry or interest.
"Looks like it. Maybe tomorrow."
"Yeah," he said. "That's what I reckon too."
I resisted the urge to tear down the tarp and scream at him to get it over with, to just play his hand, tell me what the fuck he was going to do. The thought occurred to me that maybe he was scared of me; my gun was still within easy reach, and that idea nauseated me all over again. Pete's respect was what I craved. I wanted him to look up to me, not fear me. That's all the difference between a bully and a leader.
I wanted desperately to be a leader again.
"Do you believe in god?" he asked.
"Oh, fuck off," I said, and though I followed it with a chuckle, there was real petulance in my voice. Hardly the response of a leader. I remembered the bloody mouth. The plea.
I opened my mouth to apologise, and I couldn't do it. My throat seized up.
Pete looked at me directly for the first time, I realised, since we'd parked. In his expression I saw reproach, as gentle as a father administering a friendly word to a wayward but much-loved son.
"He begged me not to," I said.
Pete's expression didn't change. "I don't think any differently of you," he said. "I figure, if you did it, there was a good reason. You never did anything without a good reason."
I remembered why I had done it: because he had seen my face. Was that a good enough reason for me? For the person I thought I was?
"I don't know if it's enough," I said, and I was aware there were tears forming at the corner of my eyes. Big fucking hard man, slaughterer of old men, crying. Not so fucking hard now.
"It's done," he said.
All of a sudden, I wanted to be far away from Pete and his forgiveness, his gentle forgiveness that wasn't his to give. He had no right to forgive me. But I had nowhere to go.
"Sleep on it," he said. "It'll look better in the dawn."
I wanted to tell him that I'd had nearly half a dozen dawns since then, and all of them had arrived as a threat, a reminder. There was no hope in the dawn. But I didn't, because I think he actually believed what he had just said.
Sleep wasn't going to come easy, but when it did, there was only another day that would follow. When you're drowning, you'll clutch onto anything though, so I decided to look forward to the false hope, for as long as it would last.
Whether I got away with it or not, I knew I was going to wish for the opposite.
User Reviews
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-07-31 06:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-31 06:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-31 03:08:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't mix raw and cooked food? What are you talking about? Ever have a salad with a steak or fish or something? Good god.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I clearly stated NOT salad.
My main point was that the onion would taste better if it were blanched or lightly sauted.
Making a burger, you are going to toast the bun, melt the cheese etc, why not heat the onion a little to take off the raw edge?
It is like serving a hot meal on a cold plate.
A burger is a hot sandwich after all.
However, if I was having a burger that was rammed with tomato, lettuce, cucumber, pepper, then yes, I would keep the onion raw.
Mr Lee, you seem to forget that a lot of people of Uber just waffle shit whilst on Uber and don't expect to make sense. I am one of these people.
If you would like anymore cookery advice, please feel free to ask.
First time consultations are always free of charge.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-10 19:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Straws. You are clutching at them.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-10 03:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-10 02:59:14 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus I tend to read BBC and the Guardian before Uber.
---
I reckon that was "stopped shitting myself +2 in celebration there"
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-09 22:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
doh
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-09 22:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus I tend to read BBC and the Guardian before Uber.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-03-09 22:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I watch all the games, so I know you're lying. Besides, I coincidentally read Apollo's post before checking my own.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-03-08 20:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-08 19:21:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Red Nose has just been on Match of the Day. Apparently it's doubtful that he'll ever play again.
:(
worse than Eduardo's injury
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-08 19:19:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have just deleted christiano from my PES player database. You know for the sake of realism. I should probably delete him from my son's copy of fifa '08 as well. Come to think of it I might just delete fifa.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-08 19:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://sports-odds.com/euro-football/021408-ronaldo-injury-could-end-career.html
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-08 18:47:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awwwwwwwww http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/72833212.stm
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-08 18:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hellz yeah!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-08 18:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwww - and he was all set to try and beat Wor Al's goal scoring record. Poor little fucker.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-08 18:41:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It could be worse than initial reports. bbc is now saying complete knee reconstruction. Hilarious.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-03-08 18:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate that winking Portugeezer. Still, missing out a whole season is harsh.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-08 18:24:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ronaldo out for season????
AHAHHAAHHAHAAA
unlucky mate
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-05 22:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Whether I got away with it or not, I knew I was going to wish for the opposite."
2++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-02-14 01:27:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We'll see.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-14 00:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-09 22:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-18 10:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-18 09:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-18 09:39:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-28 01:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
POST SOMETHING YOU TALENTLESS HACK.
*reverse psychologizes*
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-27 11:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*lights up fart, nods in agreement*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-27 09:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-26 20:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See?? I TOLD you Stag was a cool nickname. I'm never calling you by your other name again.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-11-26 20:32:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No worries. They're definitely worth a listen if you're concerned at all about lyrics. They also put on an amazing show, one of the best I've seen. I'd recommend you give their Tallahassee record a listen.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-11-26 00:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Stag.
Ooooh, "Stag." That's a manly-man nickname. Would work well in porn. Think of the possibilities:
My name's Buck Stag
My name's Stag Rogers
My name's Stag Pole
My name's Stag Ette
Okay, maybe not that last one.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cheers.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-25 12:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:05:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-11-24 23:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
splendid.
best entry so far.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-11-24 22:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no boogie-boarding up there?
bummer-roonie dude
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-11-24 20:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the waves break on the beach at Mooloolaba as well. Completely unrideable, but if you're lucky and there's a strong nor'easter blowing on a high-tide, and you have a death-wish and care even less for your board, and consider possibly breaking your neck as being 'lucky', you can spend literally hours digging your face and brains out of the planet that lies in wait just under the puddle below the 20 ton of water that just spat you out because it's the nature of physics and gravity to not allow you to ride something that somehow is now 2 or 3 metres behind you. the upside is that you *will* get some great air.
I don't do this anymore mainly because I am now old and frail - if I want to break bones I can just fall over trying to get on or off the bus, I have children who insist on trying to surf The Spit in these conditions and need to set an example, and 20 years ago when my friend 'Box' (nicknamed by his cousin who thought he was a cunt) and a I thought it was a great way to impress girls, we found out it wasn't, by overhearing them on the beach saying "what a pair of dickheads".
anyway stagger it is wrong to shoot people, but not as wrong as liking manchester united.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-11-24 19:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And hey, what song is the title from? Who sings it?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-11-24 19:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sotto voce. Nice. I like it when words or turns of phrases pop up in stories unexpectedly.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-24 14:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Much sotto voce cursing later, Pete slammed down the hood of the car and sat down next to me with a plastic plate of eggs and a depressing, warm beer of his own. The eggs sat resentfully in a puddle of grease and miscellaneous black. Something about their underfried surface reminded me of the stretched, waxy skin over a broken bone.
Pete swallowed half his beer in one go and forked shitty eggs into his mouth with industrial efficiency. He paused when halfway through the plate to finish his beer, and I silently fetched him and myself another. When the eggs were gone, he too sat staring at the stars.
"Where to next?" he asked, and his voice was distant. Too distant.
===
mmm...yeah.
No more with this hiatus bullshit, k?
Reading lines like these is first-drag-of-a-cigarette-after-a-long-day-with-family-who-you-can't-smoke-in-front-of-satisfying. And I don't smoke anymore, so it's a nice feeling to evoke.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-11-23 20:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-1.14, that's all you needed to see
if everyone resisted the urge to engage, All the shit would dry up and eventually blow away
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-11-23 18:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good showing.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2007-11-23 15:48:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this.
There are a couple of words in the story that you don't need. At least I think it reads better without them. I would remove the word "up" from the phrase "My throat seized up." I would also remove "though" from "you'll clutch onto anything though." I'm not sure if you can actually "clutch onto" something but it worked for me. I've been on a kick lately where I can't stand unneeded words. But that's just me. Still a +2.
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-11-23 13:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-23 13:26:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-11-23 12:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-11-23 11:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done Ozzie
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-11-23 10:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you.
I know you can see Mars
In the sky tonight
I know you see Venus rising
Veering off to the right
Can you see that young star up ahead?
It's the one that designed my undoing
I know that in California
The waves break on the beach
And I know that the foam on the breaking waves
Is as white as household bleach
But do you see that particular white right now?
It's the colour of the young star
Coming on down
I got joy joy joy in my soul tonight
I got joy joy joy in my arms alright, alright
You treat me badly
Love you madly
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-11-23 08:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That'll do, lad. That'll do.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-23 06:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-11-23 06:16:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-23 06:15:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-23 06:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-23 06:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-23 05:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-23 10:49:41 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bruzwuld (user info) at 2007-11-23 04:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No
_____
Anyone stupid, vindictive and pathetic enough to create an alter of this variety must beat off to fossil porn. "OOooh yeh trilobyte, you won't judge me like daddy, my only sexual partner".
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-23 05:49:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bruzwuld (user info) at 2007-11-23 04:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No
_____
Anyone stupid, vindictive and pathetic enough to create an alter of this variety must beat off to fossil porn. "OOooh yeh trilobyte, you won't judge me like daddy, my only sexual partner".
The sign of a real +2 story is when you highlight and copy a line of text to make a comment on it at the end, then three lines later you replace it with an even better line, then three lines later you decide to write what i've just written.
Submitted by bruzwuld (user info) at 2007-11-23 04:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-11-23 03:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing read.
Suprised me at the end, I really did expect Pete to butcher him in his sleep and take the loot.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-11-23 03:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh, I hope it is. Cheers. This is probably a bad time to post, but I will never remember time differences that don't affect football coverage.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-23 03:05:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
k look imma be honest with you- it's 3am in PA and I just a lot of guinness after a long holiday so theres no chance i ca b read this now but you posted finally and I'm so thankful for that. Youre my last thanking thing before sleep. Hope this post is hangover friendly
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-11-23 03:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95400
For those of you playing at home.