The Gamer in the Ambulance OR My Thanksgiving (1270 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.25 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NintendoCzar (View user info) at 2007-11-25 03:22:09 EST
Late night, Thanksgiving, coming home from one decently cooked meal at my Aunt's house. The day had been pretty much what one could expect from Thanksgiving: Food, football, and family. It was a good day, for the most part, except for some reason I had this lonely feeling in the back of my head. I made what I could out of the day, and everything was great until around 9 pm. As I sat at the table, I put my head down and started to feel a bit tired. Then, out of the corner of my ear, I hear the following exchange from my cousin and his wife, soon to be mother of his son (and I mean like, he's going to be born this week soon):
Wife: So you gonna cuddle with me tonight?
Cousin: Of course baby
*nose kiss, real kiss, laughing*
I didn't react; I kept my head down for a good five minutes. In my head the memories of "oh, that used to be us" began to flow, and my heart broke into a million pieces. I thought about how much things have been fucked up lately, and how much I wished that Thanksgiving would just go away and never have happened. Finally, I got up, and instructed my family that I would be taking my leave. I was going to take the baby with me, but my mom insisted she take him since it was raining a bit and he fit better in her car.
Good thing I agreed.
I wave a half-hearted goodbye to my family, and then sat in my truck for a few minutes. My mom drove off and called me a second later, questioning why I was just sitting there.
Fuck Mom, get off my ass ok? Let me handle my own shit!
I went off on her, not because of her, rather the timing of her call was poor. You see, I glanced at my cell phone, thinking of whether or not I should call and wish Shavana a good Thanksgiving. In a rage, I sped off from my Aunt's house and passed my mom up. I was going pretty fast the entire way home, until we got the main street before mine. At that point, I slowed down, but with slick tires, it didn't stop them from giving me some hassle. They spun out, but I gained control back and continued driving. About halfway down that street, I sped up a bit to pass the slower traffic. As I did this, I figured I'd call my Mom to let her know I was going to get home and open the door to help her with the baby. I glanced at the time, 9:45 pm, and I reached for my cellphone. In those 5-6 seconds, I hit the curb to my right. As my truck jumped the curb, I turned my wheel to the left. When I did this, my tires spun out again, and I was going to head into a light post. Still calm, I turned my wheel back right, but that didn't help- This caused me to smash straight into a fence. As I smashed the fence, my truck was sent flying into the air by seven huge boulders that were hidden behind the fence. According to eyewitnesses, I did two flips in the air, and then my truck flipped once on the ground, fortunately landing on all four tires. For those few seconds, my world went black, and when I came to all I saw was fence and broken glass everywhere. I figured that I had just hit the fence, and smashed up my truck. I exited my truck and told the people "I'm sorry I hit your fence, don't worry, I'll pay for it". Their response?
"OMG, GET ON THE FLOOR, YOU'RE BLEEDING, GET ON THE FUCKEN FLOOR NOW!"
I looked at my hands, full of blood, and stumbled to my knees. As I fell to the ground, I took off my jacket and wrapped it around my head. I lay on the ground and three people surrounded me, removing my jacket and putting a towel instead. They asked me for my name, my address, anything to keep me awake. It turns out the lady I passed up was a registered nurse, while the woman whose fence I broke was a NICU nurse, and the third person I don't really remember much. I answered their questions, apologized for breaking the fence, and requested they let me get up and talk to my mom. That's when they informed me of how bad things really were. My truck was totaled, completely, and there was a 1-inch gash on my forehead, in the shape of a "V". It all seemed like a dream, and I didn't feel any pain, I just felt cold, and began shivering violently. That's when I heard my mom pull up.
"OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?! OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK!"
I mumbled out to her "Mom, it's okay, I just hit their fence, it's no big deal, I'll pay for it," and the people attending to me told me that it's not the fence she's worried about- it was me. Apparently, there was a pool of blood around me. I wasn't allowed to move, and police, EMS, and firefighters came to the scene. They asked me some more questions, and all I could make out was my mom shouting at the neighbors of the house that I ran into, who were yelling at me things like "YOU GOTTA FUCKING SLOW DOWN, DIDN'T YOU SEE THE SPEED LIMIT SIGN?!" I informed the man that I did indeed see the sign, but that I lost control in a split second. I continued to apologize, and even asked the police to let me get my wallet so I could give the man the money I had in there. They ignored my request, and threw me into the ambulance. They flipped the siren, hit the lights, and I was gone.
As I laid there owing my life to a stranger, I realized the words I had written earlier in the day were empty (the ones posted here, on Uber). I realized that I for too long had been focusing on the wrong passions, at the wrong times, and that I needed to change the way I was living. I realized that nothing would change what has happened, and I need to stop trying to do so. I realized that my last words to my mom were rude, the last goodbye to my family had no heart, and that I didn't even get to see my son. I knew that if I died that night, I'd be letting a lot of people down. Therefore, I fought to stay awake. I made sure I did not close my eyes until the doctors told me it was ok. I kept telling people "No, I don't want to die, I need to live."
I had too many promises to keep, too many memories that still needed making. Finally, at the hospital, they ripped my clothes off me and didn't allow me to move. I stayed as still as possible, but the cold caused my body to shake. They carted me off to the CAT scan room, and filled my body with this liquid that made me feel very hot, and made me want to pee. I was in there for what seemed like hours before they placed me back in my room. I glanced at the clock: 12:45 am. The fluorescent lights were burning my eyes, so I closed them and rested for a few minutes. The sound of my mother's boots woke me up.
"Is that my son?"
"Yes m'am"
"Wait, this isn't his birth date, his birth date is XX/XX/XX"
Mom, is that you?
"Oh my god NintendoCzar, look at your face, your eyes...oh my god...."
"Alright Mom NintendoCzar, we'll get that changed"
Mom, I'm over here!
"What? NintendoCzar?!"
Turns out, they had shown my mom another boy, who was knocked out cold. According to what my Mom said, this boy looked like me, but he had a much more injury than I did. From the doctors (accidentally) told her, that boy was probably not going to be able to see again. I then questioned my Mom why she thought that was me.
---------------------------
"NintendoCzar, if you saw your truck right now, you'd see that you should be dead right now. Everyone there figured you had been impaled by a beam that was sticking right through the driver seat window, and that you had been crushed under the weight of your truck."
What? No, it wasn't that bad, it doesn't even hurt. They already scanned my head, and it turns out it'll only need stitches.
"You must have some guardian angels up there"
Maybe I do.
----------------------------
They were ready to release me by 3 am, and after an hour of searching for my wallet and picking up the pain killers, my mom and I headed home. Still in shock, I turned to my mom and asked her a question
Did you get my iPod?
"Yes, it's in my purse. We couldn't find your cell phone, or your headphones, but your cousin and uncle got the iPod from under the passenger door."
Good, because there's a song on there that's perfect for tonight.
Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel lift me up
And I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white
They flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and I am gone
Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger
And I realize that empty words are not enough
I'm left here with the question of just
What have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets
I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound
Look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares
It gets me down but I'm still gonna try to do what's right, I know that there's
A difference between sleight of hand, and giving everything you have
There's a line drawn in the sand, I'm working up the will to cross it and
I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound
Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of always talking when there's no change
Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow
Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance
I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound
Can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sounds?
Oh, and here is a picture I took when I got home from the hospital. I've included three "-2" responses.
"Wow. As if God didn't already make you ugly enough"
OR
"Hm, I thought you said you weren't hurt too badly. Oh wait, your face already looked like shit!"
OR
"It's a shame you didn't die, I could have used a new alter"
Enjoy.
User Reviews
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-21 14:52:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you post a new camwhore, sweetie? I want to see how your scars healed.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-11-28 04:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the best thing you've ever written. Don't fuck up the rest of your life.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-11-28 03:53:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I liek some of your posts.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-27 21:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-27 13:13:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And THAT is why life is too short to go through it with a pessimistic attitude
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:28:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i've been there before. I don't even remember my helicopter ride.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-27 13:13:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And THAT is why life is too short to go through it with a pessimistic attitude.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-11-27 12:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I considered docking a point for the song at the end, for some reason it annoyed me, but hey, sometimes you gotta almost die, post about it, and include a super gay song.
Ya know?
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-27 12:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phrase rings true:
"In any compromise between food and poison, it is only death that can win. In any compromise between good and evil, it is only evil that can profit."
Also, I'm glad at least one person enjoys my postings.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-11-27 06:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
NERDFIGHT
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put in things to say when I give a -2. That means you get a -2.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it wasn't for you specifically, but it's for those that can't think of a witty reason to -2 something.
However, after you posted this comment, I see that perhaps you, personally, could have used some more options.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking back at my post history, I see nothing but creativity and a constant theme of originality, where as when I look at yours, I only see nintendo and the occasional hint at how much your life sucks.
Maybe it's just you who can't think of something good to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I never bothered to look at your posts. Maybe you should do the same from now on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/113123#2581145
Solid proof that you've looked at a minimum of one of my posts.
Maybe you shouldn't be such a reactionary little bitch.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 03:42:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I do like to read everything you write.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-27 02:59:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yay this made number 8 on most heated.
i feel special. Special ED LOLOLOLOLOL
Okay I'll stop now
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-26 18:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If someone doesn't give him shit for being a tard, who else will?
If nobody does, he'll think it's ok.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-11-26 10:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is Shavana into gaping head wounds?
If not this probably hurt your chances of getting back together.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-26 05:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Thrice.
Also, keep on keepin' on, Doodz.
You'd be suprised at how bright things get just after it gets darkest.
...
Of course, that could just be a train about to plow into you.
*Happy Thoughts*
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-11-26 05:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is typical berty and tiger lilly, always marginalising the functional bipeds.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-26 04:57:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's just a shame you weren't crippled.
Submitted by UCSBguy (user info) at 2007-11-26 02:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, glad to see you are ok. I think you learned a very important lesson.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-11-26 00:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
makes ya grow up and stop being emo awfully fast, doesn't it?
Steak, stop being a jizzstick. He was telling you not to bother reading his shit if you don't like it.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put in things to say when I give a -2. That means you get a -2.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it wasn't for you specifically, but it's for those that can't think of a witty reason to -2 something.
However, after you posted this comment, I see that perhaps you, personally, could have used some more options.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking back at my post history, I see nothing but creativity and a constant theme of originality, where as when I look at yours, I only see nintendo and the occasional hint at how much your life sucks.
Maybe it's just you who can't think of something good to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I never bothered to look at your posts. Maybe you should do the same from now on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/113123#2581145
Solid proof that you've looked at a minimum of one of my posts.
Maybe you shouldn't be such a reactionary little bitch.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put in things to say when I give a -2. That means you get a -2.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it wasn't for you specifically, but it's for those that can't think of a witty reason to -2 something.
However, after you posted this comment, I see that perhaps you, personally, could have used some more options.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking back at my post history, I see nothing but creativity and a constant theme of originality, where as when I look at yours, I only see nintendo and the occasional hint at how much your life sucks.
Maybe it's just you who can't think of something good to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I never bothered to look at your posts. Maybe you should do the same from now on.
---
This is quite possibly the most depressing exchange I've ever seen on Uber and I can't understand why.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put in things to say when I give a -2. That means you get a -2.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it wasn't for you specifically, but it's for those that can't think of a witty reason to -2 something.
However, after you posted this comment, I see that perhaps you, personally, could have used some more options.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking back at my post history, I see nothing but creativity and a constant theme of originality, where as when I look at yours, I only see nintendo and the occasional hint at how much your life sucks.
Maybe it's just you who can't think of something good to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I never bothered to look at your posts. Maybe you should do the same from now on.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put in things to say when I give a -2. That means you get a -2.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it wasn't for you specifically, but it's for those that can't think of a witty reason to -2 something.
However, after you posted this comment, I see that perhaps you, personally, could have used some more options.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking back at my post history, I see nothing but creativity and a constant theme of originality, where as when I look at yours, I only see nintendo and the occasional hint at how much your life sucks.
Maybe it's just you who can't think of something good to say.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 22:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put in things to say when I give a -2. That means you get a -2.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it wasn't for you specifically, but it's for those that can't think of a witty reason to -2 something.
However, after you posted this comment, I see that perhaps you, personally, could have used some more options.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-11-25 20:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You put in things to say when I give a -2. That means you get a -2.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-25 15:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
emotes are so gay
:O
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-25 15:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 15:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-25 14:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
now you're harry potter
:)
-----------------------
..... :'(
----
Intellectual property rights related to emoticons
In 2000, Despair, Inc. obtained a U.S. trademark registration for the "frowny" emoticon :-( when used on "greeting cards, posters and art prints." In 2001, they issued a satirical press release, announcing that they would sue Internet users who typed the frowny; the joke backfired and the company received a storm of protest when its mock release was posted at technology news website Slashdot.[14]
A number of patent applications have been filed on inventions that assist in communicating with emoticons. A few of these have issued as US patents. US patent 6987991, for example, discloses a method developed in 2001 to send emoticons over a cell phone using a drop down menu. The advantage over the prior art was that the user saved on the number of keystrokes.
In Finland, the emoticons :-), =), =(, :), :(, and :'( were trademarked in 2006 for use with various products and services.[15]
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 15:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-25 14:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
now you're harry potter
:)
-----------------------
..... :'(
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-25 14:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
now you're harry potter
:)
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-11-25 14:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I stopped reading when I read that you could hear a nose kiss.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-11-25 14:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A 1-up shroom comment would probably be incredibly in incredibly bad taste, but it's all I can think of all the moment. Glad to see you're still alive.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-11-25 13:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oops
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-11-25 13:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you must be more careful, for if you die, so will everything that keeps 8-12 bit gaming alive in the hearts of uberers
to lose that would kinda be some kind of shame maybe
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-25 12:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-11-25 12:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so you drive like a cunt in a truck?
score.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2007-11-25 12:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You could almost like, lift up that new little flap on your forehead and hide something in it.
You know, something you didn't want your family or the cops to find. You know?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-11-25 11:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job on surviving. Some people find scars very attractive, at least you'll have many interesting stories to tell people.
PS: actually nevermind I have too much of a conscience to say what I was going to say.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-25 10:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Glad yer not dead.
I wanna see a pick of your truck...
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-11-25 10:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
BY THE POWER OF -2!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-25 10:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good on you for living and for recognizing the chance to make things right.
I keep telling myself I need to slow down. I'm going to slow down.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-11-25 09:40:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-11-25 09:02:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's okay, baby. You'll get a cool scar too.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-11-25 08:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch, dude.
Sympathies.
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2007-11-25 07:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Been in a situation extremely similar to this except I went through the windscreen when the seatbelt restraints tore clean out of the bodywork. Apparently should be dead, all I had was bruising and internal bleeding of the liver (nasty shit that is).
You'll pull through, but you'll be scarred for life. I have a funny little scar dead centre of my forehead where I hit the glass.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-25 06:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep at least you are still alive, shame the ghey aidz is getting worse.
Submitted by oapa (user info) at 2007-11-25 06:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good your still among the living dude.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-11-25 05:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for Thrice
+1 for not being dead
Actually +10 for not being dead, but still...+1 for Thrice
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-11-25 04:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your hip wheels.
http://www.tholt.com/images/volvor0.jpg
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:59:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shenanigans.
nerds drive volvo stationwagons.
Submitted by iseethrewu (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow...... just know if you blow it, sorry can always follow...wright on....
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:57:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's shopped, I can tell from my many experiences with photoshop.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
kids shouldn't be allowed to drive or have kids.
glad you made it.
change.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:39:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Epic win below.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-11-25 03:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THE TRUE POWER OF THE -2 DIE IS REVEALED. BOW DOWN AS UBER MALEVOLENCE HURLS YOUR TRUCK FROM THE ROAD.