Day 17 (395 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.33 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by mike <mikeeegeee.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-11-26 01:05:12 EST
Day 17:
The easiest thing to write about, the thing that gets the first sentence of any journal entry about this place is absolutely the cold. It's unlike anything most people have experienced before. Wind whipping by my face, flapping the pages of my journal around, flakes of snow and ice pelting against the endless layers of clothes I'm wearing. If you're not too careful, if you leave any part of your skin exposed out here, you can say goodbye to it. Frostbite happens after only thirty seconds of exposure to this ridiculous weather out here. The hairs on my arms and on the back of my neck always stand on end; I can't remember the last time I didn't have goosebumps. Fortunately, my nose never actually runs. Any snot literally freezes on contact with this frigid air. Gross fact, but hey, one of the few perks.
So I've got my ski goggles on, which give this desolate white desert an eerie orange tint. I imagine it's how Mars must look. Though it's probably warmer on Mars. Off in the distance there's absolutely nothing. Just the endless expanse of hills of snow. The only thing recognizable is our little camp off to my left and the tiny mountains of snow formed by our footprints. The tent's more rickety than I'd expect a tent to be in the North Pole, but it gets the job done. If it keeps us warm when we're not outside doing our jobs; if we can make coffee in it and eat granola bars, all is well.
Ow! A sharp pain in the back of my head explodes as something connects with my stocking cap. I'm not even curious anymore as to what caused it. I already know, but I turn around anyway. Sure enough I see that red triangle hat with a white poofball on the end of it jiggling up and down behind a snow drift. Santa is clearly having a great time with this. Such a mischevious little guy. No one realizes that he's actually three feet tall, and a huge nuisance to our job. He's always playing tricks on us, but we've learned to deal with it. Laugh it up Santa, I'll get you back.
Oh where was I. Ah yes, the sky here is unreal. It's dark almost all day long. There are never any clouds. Ever. But the main thing that interests me I've yet to mention. The wildlife here in this forsaken-by-man North Pole is unlike anything you're used to seeing. Which is why me and my partner are here. The tribe of penguins on my right is the one we've been studying for the past few days. You see, we're planning on doing a documentary on them. We're filming them, watching them, following them, and eventually we'll put it all together in a movie and get someone with a sexy voice to narrate for us. We've been thinking Morgan Freeman would be a good choice-Thwack!
"God damnit Santa, leave me alone! I know it's you! I know you're giggling behind that drift, I can see your stupid little hat bouncing up and down!" Jesus. Anyway, we've been pretty successful so far: just have to keep Santa at bay and the animals looking interesting. And keeping them interesting isn't hard to do at all. Fascinating little creatures, the penguins are. We've been catching some amazing things on film. The tribe we're looking at right now call themselves the "dream" tribe. My partner figured this out. He actually interviewed one of the penguins. Apparently, they call themselves this because they all dream of flying. My partner's name is Randy. Sometimes I wonder about him.
He's a caricature of a hippy, straight out of the sixties: long, unrestricted hair, dirty sideburns and an untamed beard. If it were any warmer, you couldn't catch him any day of the week without some kind of tie-dye shirt or pants or bandana or, usually, all three. Instead, it was thirty degrees below zero, so parkas, snowpants, and his tie-dye stocking cap had to suffice. "This is crazy man, I feel like I'm so repressed. I need to show my stripes, man, I just need to, know what I mean? Oh man these granola bars are something else, man." Randy often complains of this fact, and he's definitely one who is easily sidetracked. Granola bars, colorful things, hands, all of these claim highest priority when noticed. But he's a diligent worker, and I respect that. He's very committed to environmental causes, so he works perfectly up here with the penguins. He even befriends them... names them...pets them... re-enacts movie scenes with them... yeah, okay, Randy is something else.
Earlier today Randy noticed that his protagonist penguin (Shiny Lil' Bucket) had developed a strong dislike for another penguin (Pengu san Lucious). Pengu san Lucious was turning into the antagonist, in Randy's mind, and it seemed as though the tribe was beginning to split due to the tension created by Bucket and Lucious' fighting. So today has been a great day for filming because of this. All day long we've witnessed the slow shift—err waddle is probably a more accurate term—of penguins as they start to seem to align themselves with one of the two leaders. It's particularly amusing when one falls down on his short trek to Lucious' or Bucket's side. The other penguins squawk at the fallen penguin and roll it over and over in the snow. Neither Randy nor I understand this ritual, but Santa takes great delight in it. Three of the four times that a penguin has fallen over today, in a bright flurry of snow and ice, Santa has bolted over from his hiding spot to aid in the rolling of the penguins. And he's so giddy about it, giggling up a storm, rambling something in whatever language he speaks as he pushes penguins to and fro.
These events have been going on for about twelve hours now. Every now and then, half of the tribe starts quacking about something and then the other side responds. But these are not the normal quacks we had been used to hearing. Normally, the quacks are like something you'd hear if you crossed a duck quack with a cat purr. Very friendly quacks, I mean to say. But now they take on a much more bickery tone. Not unlike a mother yelling at her son for not cleaning his room. It's odd that that's the only thing I can seem to relate the sound to, but my mom, well she sounded like a duck when she got angry: "cut your hair," "make your friends some breakfast," "don't point that at me." It's like these penguins are saying these types of things to each other.
Oh my, wait! This is incredible right here. Shiny Lil' Bucket is approaching me! This has never happened to me nor Randy in our seventeen days up here. Ah, yes, this is truly remarkable. Oh I think he wants to be friends. Well this is curious, he seems to want my pencil. His little wing is trying to grab it from me! And here I am trying to document it in my journal! I'll give him a go with it... my, he has a phenomenal grip! He didn't want to give me that pencil back. It's impossible to tell through reading this but a solid minute passed between me giving him that pencil and me writing the next sentence because he kept—Shiny Lil' Bucket is showing a level of aggression I've never seen before. Between "he kept" and "Shiny Lil' Bucket" in that last sentence, several minutes passed. He won't stop grabbing this penc—
User Reviews
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-05 16:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-28 14:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-28 14:10:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-27 21:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not going to read this. Ranking reflective of the effort involved.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-26 15:47:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh all right, 1.5
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-26 15:46:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i liked it well enough.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-26 06:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What about Days 1-16?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84827
Submitted by mikeeegeee (user info) at 2007-11-26 01:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I consciously wrote about that contradiction with my justification being that Santa doesn't exactly live up there either. always felt a little goofy about it anyway because I can certainly see how observant people would see it as a flaw
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-11-26 01:30:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
penguins don't live in the northern hemisphere.....
otherwise, entertaining.