ATTN: ballare - My trip to England, camwhore not of me! (not much content) (1989 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.3 on 92 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by katy (View user info) at 2007-11-27 17:05:17 EST
I kind of wish I could write with backwards text so that looks more like a kindergartener's version of "my summer away".
Remember berty, you said I could. She's not gonna see this til tomorrow is she? Whatever. I get 10% as part of the Pimp My Brummie program, before taxes.
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-03 17:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This, for reasons unknown to medical science, made my day.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-12 15:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck is Inion??
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-11-30 01:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SHENANIGANS - I SEE NO WHEELCHAIR IN THAT PICTURE
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-29 11:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww, he looks so wee and unobtrusive.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-28 13:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-28 12:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
alcoholism is only a medical condition if you go into physical withdrawl after a day of not drinking.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-28 11:31:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-11-28 11:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus. His arms can't even rightly be called twigs. They're...they're fucking SPLINTERS.
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STFU you fat knacker. I have a medical condition.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-11-28 11:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus. His arms can't even rightly be called twigs. They're...they're fucking SPLINTERS.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-11-28 10:34:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MUSHY PEAS!!!!!!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm you should have gotten beans on toast though much more yummy
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-28 09:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-28 03:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If that dude were a chick then I'd totally do her.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-28 09:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So there's a film about a girl with teeth in her vajay.
You might want to consider filing a lawsuit for gimmick infringement, intellectual property theft or likeness rights or something.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-28 09:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty stole someones lips.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-28 09:19:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least he isn't bent over a trash can vomiting. :)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-28 08:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bertram - you are the last person I would have figured to have self esteem issues. We all love you the way your are, don't be ashamed.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-11-28 08:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-28 06:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I find two things hilarious:
Berty in a playground should not be allowed.
Berty has spaghetti tough arms.
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2007-11-28 06:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Berty is a homosexual, who knew?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-28 03:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If that dude were a chick then I'd totally do her.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-11-27 23:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-27 16:54:03 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have about $612 in cash but no change.
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It seems really odd to me that you would say about 612, as opposed to 600, 610, etc...
For some reason I had to mention that.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-27 22:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-27 21:37:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also I like your haaairr may I pull it?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-11-27 21:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll still do 'im despite the cripple handicap
Or perhaps due to...?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-11-27 21:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your hair is very pretty, Berty.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-11-27 21:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he does have nice hair
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-27 21:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-27 20:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Lisa- You're now fucking? I thought you were saving yourself for marriage...or for Shlongy.
THAT'S OUTSTANDING NEWS.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-11-27 20:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always imagined Berty as being some kind of paralyzed monk in a wheel chair dispensing wisdom through a Steven-Hawking-Like vocoder device.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-11-27 20:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"yes ma'am. Quite. And you're much of a dirty herbert yourself, are you not?"
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-27 20:17:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to fuck Berty so I can scream "YOU'RE A DIRTY BERTY, AREN'T YOU?"
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-11-27 20:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
noted i guess
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-27 19:54:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am hungry and I am flat fucking broke...I have .52 cents. Anyone spare some change?
I just checked my front pocket.
I have about $612 in cash but no change.
SORRY...YOU'RE SHIT OUT OF LUCK.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-27 19:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's alot of ground to cover in ten minutes... An Napa is cold right now.
Do I get to be the hot asian chick?
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Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 15:40:51 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok. After we make out will you take me to see Napa Valley? I've always wanted to see Napa Valley. And that big fucking redwood tree that you can drive a car through. That'd be cool. We'll make our own Sideways movie!
I'M NOT DRINKING ANY FUCKING MERLOT!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I would think that for most broads it would be a lot more interesting, fun, and you'd certainly eat and drink better, not to mention get fucked a lot better, if you had a visit to see Shlongy on your itinerary.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean, come on. Those light blue sachets are either tartare sauce or mayonnaise, I'm sure of it. If there's tartare sauce within striking distance, why pass the opportunity? It's not every meal that you can get away with tartare sauce; it doesn't go with sausages or curry or anything. You could have skipped the peas and left more room for tartare sauce!
If it's mayo though, ignore everything I just said. I don't like mayo. Although I think they're the dark blue ones.
Yup, definitely drunk.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gravy or curry sauce is best with fish 'n' chips.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are mushy peas just that? Peas that have been pre-mushed? I know you can get them in a can. What the fuck is you people's problem? Why can't you just mush up your own goddamn peas? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok. After we make out will you take me to see Napa Valley? I've always wanted to see Napa Valley. And that big fucking redwood tree that you can drive a car through. That'd be cool. We'll make our own Sideways movie!
I'M NOT DRINKING ANY FUCKING MERLOT!
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:40:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry guys but mushy peas? Why ruin a perfectly good fish and chips with mushy peas? I've never been able to get my head around them. I come from a good, upstanding northern family and some days, after working 89 hours on the ship yards, a plate of frozen mushy peas is all we had to huddle around for warmth (and nutrition, mind) but I still couldn't force that thrice cursed gop down my gullet. I was publicly flogged in t' town square and sent down south to 'be with the other poncy arse regarding fancy folk' who I was told eat only fois gras from the feet of deer soaked in swans tears.
They fucking lied. You can still get mushy peas here.
I think I'm a bit drunk.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
norcal
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am hungry and I am flat fucking broke...I have .52 cents. Anyone spare some change?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that is fine by me!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:34:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not gay and I can shove my cock up your asshole to prove it.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:33:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Um. I dunno. Where the fuck do you live? Actually, that's what it really depends on, truth be told. I won't go anywhere, even to make out/pork like a fucking jackrabbit, if it's not in an area I don't think I'd like.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:32:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
British tart actually. And I thought you were gay Director. Sorry.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, orphelia, you have to remove the sheen from your face, and about half of your forhead. Then I will allow you to lick the end of my knob.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sure - I can schedule you in for about 10 minutes. When do you get here?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:30:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry. "CRYSTLE."
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:30:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, that was funny Crytal. I repeat the question, since that british slag is gonna whore herself off to one of her crippled (or IS he?) bretheren.
Wanna make out?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:27:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:27:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But I want Berty!
Haha Crystle is on form today
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he could have braces on his legs..
it could be the split second he let go of his support... just as he was starting to keel over -- hence the look of "I wish I could fly"...
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
After looking at your camwhore, I have deduced that I will allow you to suck my penis if you
1) lose the eye makeup
2) lose 23.2 facial lbs.
That way we all win!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes to all the below hehe
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Depends. Are you hot? Is your vag worn into a mayonaise jar? Do you have a jealous husband/boyfriend/serial killer? Do you have all your teeth? Do you enjoy sniffing gas?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:17:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If Ballare says no, do you think I stand a chance?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't see his legs, but in one of those pictures HE'S STANDING THE FUCK UP, UNSUPPORTED LIKE.
Wanna make out?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha! i'll remember to photoshop out things like that next time. they had some kiddie toys at a restaurant/pub thing. i'm not sure why.
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He took you to a pub where you pedo's can check out little kids?
Or is it a Pub where drunkards can let there kids play?
Or both?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:05:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you see his legs here? Seriously.
no.. you're making rampant assuptions!
poor lil cripple boy...the antogonism he has to face on TOP of his pain!!
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Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 14:56:55 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
That motherfucker doesn't look like a goddamn cripple to me.
I want my money back.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-11-27 18:02:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he's an emotional and mental cripple. And a physical one.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:56:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That motherfucker doesn't look like a goddamn cripple to me.
I want my money back.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty looks so emo in both of these... it's making me feel sad in a poignant yet totally gay, self-absorbed way.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no, my dad brought me straight up to the bar.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
they had some kiddie toys at a restaurant/pub thing. i'm not sure why.
------
*shakes head in dismay*
you americans really have no idea about alcoholism do you?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:38:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Berty mixed his mayo with his ketchup. How sweet. How northern.
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but he's not northern. unless he's north of you and that counts. you have such a small country anyway. HOW CAN ONE BE FROM THE TOP OR BOTTOM WHEN YOU'RE ONLY 2 HOURS AWAY!?!?
9 on 1, see ms mckenzie lee, she's a dirty girl. i tried figuring the mechanics of a dvda once. not so much where do the penises go, but where do the legs go? it caused a short circuit, i've yet to figure it out.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think it's sarlacc.
and 9 on 1? seriously?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAahahaha - That's an awesome pic.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Sarlaac Pit.
People are funny today.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Berty mixed his mayo with his ketchup. How sweet. How northern.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:27:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a nine on 1 generally consists of two in twat, ass, mouth one in each hand and one between the boobs. at least if all at once. trains are so much easier.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well population of england is 60mil. 52% female. so that's about... 28.8 mil. blah blah gradeschool, so say 17mil available. i'll let you do the math on how many you think i could fit inside me in 10 days.
---
My money's on you being able to fit nine whole dicks, vertically, top to bottom in your Noon Hole.
Horizontally, however, is something completely different. If we assume a diamond formation I dare say you could work a good 32 dicks, side by side, across the farthest expanse of your sarlaac pit. Then you pyramid the other cocks top to bottom up and down until you total something like 384 hangdowns all crowded in your slopup.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:25:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-11-27 22:20:30 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MUSHY FUCKING PEAS YOU RETARDS.
Try them, they're delicious.
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No thanks. I can chew my food just fine.
=========
Hilarious.
They really are very good though. Much different taste and texture to 'normal' peas. Very northern English thing.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ballare will be most impressed, I am sure.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:22:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The FIRST pic obviously..I want making a joke.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:22:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HE'S A COLLEGE GRADUATE YOU BITCH.
Also, this is my favorite pic of Berty.
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look i know the value of an american education has gone to shit but there's no reason to call middle school college. we're not that bad yet.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HE'S A COLLEGE GRADUATE YOU BITCH.
Also, this is my favorite pic of Berty.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:20:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MUSHY FUCKING PEAS YOU RETARDS.
Try them, they're delicious.
------------------
No thanks. I can chew my food just fine.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
at least i'm not a butthead :p
i miss grade school.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well population of england is 60mil. 52% female. so that's about... 28.8 mil. we'll say 2/3 of that was over the age of 18 cuz i'm not sacrilicious and i don't go trawling in gradeschools. so say 17mil available. i'll let you do the math on how many you think i could fit in 10 days.
--
an awful fucking lot, waterhead.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MUSHY FUCKING PEAS YOU RETARDS.
Try them, they're delicious.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Man, and people around here say poutine looks gross. I can handle what appears to be some good ole-fashioned fish and chips, but WTF is that green vomit the rest of a semi-appetizing meal is sinking in?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wtf is a waterhead? and don't say "you".
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well population of england is 60mil. 52% female. so that's about... 28.8 mil. we'll say 2/3 of that was over the age of 18 cuz i'm not sacrilicious and i don't go trawling in gradeschools. so say 17mil available. i'll let you do the math on how many you think i could fit in 10 days.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks out of place in England
S/B down under or in Amerika
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ugh, i'm surrounded by waterheads
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:11:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how many of these her-majesty-saluting weirdoes DID you make fuck with you hairy, hairy camera shy broad
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha! i'll remember to photoshop out things like that next time. they had some kiddie toys at a restaurant/pub thing. i'm not sure why.
the green stuff is mushy peas. interesting texture.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, in the first picture he looks like a pedo on the prowl in a kiddie park.
in the second, it looks like there was something bloody eaten...like a fetus.
what is that green thing? puke?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IF I WANTED TO LOOK AT UNSUCCESSFUL SEX CHANGE VICTIMS, I WOULD.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no no, the stuff on the plate is british food. it looks like that on purpose.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can only hypothesize that you punched him in the nose while trying to be friendly.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good lookin bloke he is.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-27 17:07:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Interestingly, Berty looks almost exactly the way I pictured him.