The House - Prologue (348 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.2 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zeeba Zeeba Eata (View user info) at 2007-11-28 06:31:01 EST
He looks back at the house through the iron bars of the gates. Its colonial architectural style looked magnificent as the sun reflected off of the windows. "It's funny how the sun can hide such a terrible evil", he thought to himself as a tear rolled down his cheek as he turned the key in the lock.
"Goodbye" he whispers as he tosses the key into the bushes and gets into the car and closes the door. He slowly drives off leaving all the bad behind. He could have never foreseen what was going to happen here. Even if he could, would he have been able to prepare? Stop it before it happened? He tries to clear his mind as he drives toward the town.
As he drives into town everyone closes the doors and shutters while others run to hide anywhere they think they will be safe. As he stops at the petrol station there is not a single person in sight, yet he knows that he is being watched...in fear.
He fills up his car and leaves the money next to the pump. He gets back in the car and drives slowly through town. Looking in the rearview mirror he wishes it could have been different. That somehow he could change what had happened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, I ..." he finds a lump in his throat as he crosses the bridge that leads out of town into the forest, never to return to this place again. At least for now...
User Reviews
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-11-28 16:34:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, work on this.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-28 13:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-11-28 13:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-28 10:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-11-28 06:57:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
as, as, as, as, as
As I write this review, as I laugh into my keyboard, as I think why, oh why.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-28 10:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Stupid moniker -1.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-28 09:43:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more substance. Far too short, though it's a good beginning. Also, not exactly a prologue, more like a snippet of a story, or what you'd see on the rear cover of a book in quotation marks with a quote from some yuppie cunt from the New Yorker.
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2007-11-28 07:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pro log = before shit but hey i dont think theres shit coming
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-28 07:02:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mindless pap
mindless pap!
good point, i ante up
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-11-28 07:01:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BokTiet (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Aren't you a cunt for sore eyes. You inbred mother fucking piece of shit. How about you go lick ass instead of posting shit like this!!!
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This guy's a charmer. The story itself is poor.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-28 07:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"he thought to himself as a tear rolled down his cheek..."
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DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-11-28 07:00:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This post deserves a positive rating only in the relative sense, meaning IT'S THE ONLY POST THIS MORNING WITH MORE THAN ONE FUCKING LINE OR A LINK TO SOME MINDLESS PAP. C'MON people, what am I paying you for?
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-11-28 06:57:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
as, as, as, as, as
As I write this review, as I laugh into my keyboard, as I think why, oh why.
Submitted by BokTiet (user info) at 2007-11-28 06:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just started writing. Plan on posting each chapter as I finish. For lack of an better title,i chose "The House". Not planning to base the story on the house.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-28 06:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how bout a haunted apartment?
or maybe a haunted parking garage.
houses are so overdone.
good start, sort of, but needs more....
umm
story?