How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket? (1636 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.1 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tiger Lilly (View user info) at 2007-11-29 16:04:49 EST
Tell the nice police officer that you have an artificial leg, your car was on cruise control and you didn't feel your foot on the gas petal.
Of course this only works if you're wearing pants.
User Reviews
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-12-17 11:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Boom...where the hell have you been??? I've missed you so......
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2007-12-11 13:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if you're wearing a skirt just show him the cooch. same result.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2007-12-11 13:42:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this IS a tasty burger
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-12-01 01:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
uniped humor amuses me
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-11-30 22:43:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nubber?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-11-30 19:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should have just nubber him in the eye and then killed yourself.
Everyone wins!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-30 18:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did that one time that I had a sprained ankle. It worked.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-30 13:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-11-30 09:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What if you're stopped driving while your passenger drinks Bacardi Raspberry Twists?
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Or dinging someones car at a strip club. Then speeding off. Fun times.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-30 09:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was hoping the answer was "soapy tits", but this was pretty funny.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-11-30 09:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What if you're stopped driving while your passenger drinks Bacardi Raspberry Twists?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-11-30 08:07:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
[lust]
Your title shouldn't have a question mark.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-30 07:03:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MrTangent (user info) at 2007-11-30 01:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-29 15:46:24 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
TL, why not just tell this guy he's a dipshit? Obviously he's referring to you and any body that is any one knows that you have a shorter leg than the other and that you have a prosthetic heel. You wear a platform shoe on one foot and a regular shoe on the other.
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Why am I "dipshit" for voicing my opinion on the matter? I wasn't referring to the original author, I was using a generality. Regardless, way to overreact.
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*sigh* Do some research, dipshit.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-30 04:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Typo AND a shit story? What a winner.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-30 03:33:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My 11 month old son is walking! +2s for all.
Submitted by MrTangent (user info) at 2007-11-30 01:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I should add, although my first reply was a generality, I have no idea whether or not the original author has a bum leg (if you'll forgive the term). I thought it was a post done in jest, thus my reply. I thought they were kidding around suggesting a way to get out of a speeding ticket. If it was a personal experience that the original author actually used based on their disability then that's fine. They should have written it giving us that information if so. All apologies to the original author for any assumptions or misconceptions.
Submitted by MrTangent (user info) at 2007-11-30 01:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-29 15:46:24 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
TL, why not just tell this guy he's a dipshit? Obviously he's referring to you and any body that is any one knows that you have a shorter leg than the other and that you have a prosthetic heel. You wear a platform shoe on one foot and a regular shoe on the other.
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Why am I "dipshit" for voicing my opinion on the matter? I wasn't referring to the original author, I was using a generality. Regardless, way to overreact.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-11-30 01:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-11-30 01:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Will hiding shit in your leg work in Airport security. If so, I might just have to have you come down to Columbia with me to pick up a kilo of pure candy. I'll give you, like, 50 bucks if you do it.
Submitted by tmpg (user info) at 2007-11-30 00:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should just act like a spastic, start crying uncontrollably and screaming help me whilst you beat yourself with your elbows.
-_-
As for speeding tickets, mabey just don't speed.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-11-29 22:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
If I was a cop, and you told me you had an artificial leg that prevented you from driving safely, wave bye-bye to your driver's license.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2007-11-29 21:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shoula beat him to death with it, or shown him your jubblies
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-11-29 20:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not willing to part with my leg just yet, but good idea none the less. Also does cleavage play a factor what so ever in this story?
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-11-29 20:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-11-29 18:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry i've been mean to you on occasion
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-11-29 18:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry i've been mean to you on occasion.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-29 18:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-29 18:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-11-29 18:33:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
An artificial leg seems like a dandy way to transport illegal substances.
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Been there. Done that. Works well I have to say.
Seriously? You're my new hero.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate it when Shlongy makes me laugh.
My soul feels soiled.
:(
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:34:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's make out
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hoped you were going to have beaten him to death with it
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Back of the line, lardass...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's make out
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:19:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, Leg, how I pine for you so...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:18:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried that but when they asked for proof, all I could do is drop my pants to my ankles, run around my car in circles making a siren sound and yelling "CANASTA".
SO IT DIDN'T WORK, YOU FUCKING LIAR!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-11-29 17:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
can yolu ride a motorcycle with an artificial leg?
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Yes. In my younger days I did. My x had a crotch rocket that we used to ride around on. I don't really anymore. I can't afford to lose any more limbs.
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HA HA HA HA OR AH OR HA
If you lose a boobie send it to me, you know, to keep things balanced.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:59:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
upon hearing your explanation, i would have given you a fix-it-ticket for not having a hand-accelerator
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:19:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrTangent (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It'll work okay until he asks to see it. Then you better wish you had an artificial get-out-of-jail-for-lying-to-a-police-officer card. Actually he might be inclined to laugh once he finds out you didn't have an artificial leg but you're certainly going to be getting that ticket you didn't want, and most likely your entire car searched.
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In Ct that is considered harassment and the driver has no obligation to prove that he/she doesn't. Besides the officer will most likely be caught off guard and be speechless.
Obviously it is probably best that said driver has no priors or warrants for arrest.
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TL, why not just tell this guy he's a dipshit? Obviously he's referring to you and any body that is any one knows that you have a shorter leg than the other and that you have a prosthetic heel. You wear a platform shoe on one foot and a regular shoe on the other.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha - good for you.
I tried that with glass eyes, the reaction wasn't the same |-(
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:35:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I laughed because you said gas "petal" and the kid in the picture was holding a flower.
Freud was right.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
can yolu ride a motorcycle with an artificial leg?
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Yes. In my younger days I did. My x had a crotch rocket that we used to ride around on. I don't really anymore. I can't afford to lose any more limbs.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
so there is storage space in an artificial leg?
keep your keys, phone, wallet, hip flask, whatnot in it?
i could well appreciate the storage space.
beat having a knapsack.
can yolu ride a motorcycle with an artificial leg?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ha
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that's the dude from leno
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:19:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrTangent (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It'll work okay until he asks to see it. Then you better wish you had an artificial get-out-of-jail-for-lying-to-a-police-officer card. Actually he might be inclined to laugh once he finds out you didn't have an artificial leg but you're certainly going to be getting that ticket you didn't want, and most likely your entire car searched.
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In Ct that is considered harassment and the driver has no obligation to prove that he/she doesn't. Besides the officer will most likely be caught off guard and be speechless.
Obviously it is probably best that said driver has no priors or warrants for arrest.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not a peg-leg, you're just lazy.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
An artificial leg seems like a dandy way to transport illegal substances.
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Probably makes a good personal bank also.
Submitted by MrTangent (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It'll work okay until he asks to see it. Then you better wish you had an artificial get-out-of-jail-for-lying-to-a-police-officer card. Actually he might be inclined to laugh once he finds out you didn't have an artificial leg but you're certainly going to be getting that ticket you didn't want, and most likely your entire car searched.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
or artificial boobs
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Good point.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:11:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
An artificial leg seems like a dandy way to transport illegal substances.
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Been there. Done that. Works well I have to say.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed....please tell me that you actually used this. Once again....fucking opportunists.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
An artificial leg seems like a dandy way to transport illegal substances.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
or artificial boobs
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:06:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
or if you have an artificial limb