Dancing Robots (427 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.66 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tj Wilk <no_blank_spaces.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-12-03 00:40:28 EST
I tried writing science fiction.
My little sister Polly loved the older robots when she was young. The aged contraptions lurched arthritically down the road past our apartment and down towards the mines. She used to say that they were dancing. She found them a happy sight and used to try to run alongside them and dance along with their movements. I have to admit that they were in fact humorous to watch, the way the mechanical limbs swung forward and side-to-side, desperately trying to emulate the walk of humans. Wheels would have been more of a practical design for the lumbering contraptions, however they had been designed at the dawn of the robot boom and it had been a time of rapid social change across the globe. Practical designs were pushed aside as companies strove to build robots that would please the eye, robots that would blend in with the crowds. What were left of the first designs were these monstrous mechanical men. The mining sector in our town had bought one hundred and eighty of these models. The tin men, although the size of an average man, could heft eighty times their own weight and were equipped with quite up-to-date software and artificial intelligence technology. These particular models however had their AI stripped down so that other programs could be added to their silicon brains. To me they were just ridiculously shaped mining machines. Yet Polly thought they were friendly.
After a time Polly wasn't allowed to go out to them. The mining sector had expanded and the old blue road was suddenly burdened with extra traffic. Huge construction vehicles rumbled along continuously. She cried for a long time. I thought it was such a silly thing to make a fuss of, yet she was so young and I tried to comfort her the best that I could. I told her that soon the construction vehicles would be finished and she would be able to have a close look at her robots. But I didn't trust the robots at all. With the stripped down AI, I doubted the machines could even recognise her and consider her as they moved, I worried that she might trip and fall and be crushed by the heavy hydraulic legs. The mere thought sent icicles spiralling through my veins.
It was a Sunday morning and I was up in my room re-drafting an assignment when I heard the front door slide away. I thought it was odd because my parents were out and I hadn't been expecting any company. I looked forward out the front window and saw to my horror, Polly running towards the road excitedly. I shouted her name as loud as I could, slamming my hands against the window in desperation. I then realised that the windows were soundproofed and there was no way I could communicate with her. I leaped out of my chair and ran down the stairs. "No no no no no no no". I repeated to myself as each stair rolled under my feet. Finally I tumbled through the living room and found myself at the front door. It was closed. My red pass card - the key to the door wasn't in my pocket as it should have been. I touched the display on the door and saw that the last person to open the door had been me. But that was impossible. I looked through the side window and saw the red card on the dusty ground outside. No no no no no," I cried. Without the key I had to insert the 12 digit password, my hands shook with strain and stress and I pounded in each individual button. I couldn't keep my gaze off the window. Polly had made it up the hill and was running towards the robots.
Finally I slammed the last button in and the mechanical door slide away. With all my power I ran after her. As the hill rose before me I lost sight of her. White clouds spattered the blue sky creating nightmare shapes in my minds eye. Shouting her name as loud as I could I finally made it to the top. There was Polly. She was so happy, laughing and dancing next to the moving robots. She imitated the one closest to her like an expert, jerking her limbs from side to side and jumping up and down. The robot stared straight ahead with its large red unblinking eye. Clutching a large rock smasher in its clenched fists. I was relieved to see she was ok but still terrified at what could happen if she fell or if got to close to the machines. I called to her and she stopped dancing and looked blankly at me.
"They are dancing," she smiled. I tried to smile back but my face was clenched in a mask of pain and fear. I called to her again and with some annoyance she walked towards me across the blue road. A resounding blast from construction vehicle sounded along the road. My head jerked towards the sound and I saw the massive yellow twelve-wheeled monstrosity pound towards us. A shriek of sound emitted as the enormous thing started braking. But it could never slow down in time. Each of its wheels were as tall as a house. The automated driver had been pushed to its limit to increase productivity; there was no way we could be spared. Polly screamed almost as loudly as the vehicle itself and I began running to her. But it was just too fast, I couldn't get across the road in time. I screamed and cried and willed my body on. In half a second the vehicle was almost on top of us. I managed to grab Polly in my arms and clench her to my chest. But it had to too late. But suddenly I felt myself hefted into the air painfully, dragged away from the deadly vehicle with Polly. We landed heavily on the dirt rolling painfully across the ground but we were alive!
Slowly I got up and picked up Polly. She was as light as a feather in my arms. Her slow laborious breath brought new tears to my eyes. I turned around to see what had happened. Far in the distance now the vehicle barrelled ahead, still on a sliding stop. What stood before me was the metal man. The large unblinking eye considered us gently and then trudged away on its infinitely powerful legs doing its strange metal dance. The robot had picked us up in the last seconds abandoning its duty and vaulting us to safety.
The men we spoke with couldn't understand how the robot had saved us. It had, had its programming considerably stripped down, it should have never come into contact with humans again. It had done something incredible. The road safety in the area was considerably improved and we were compensated for our injuries. Everyday the robots marched past and Polly would look out to them, somehow she knew exactly which one had saved us and she would wave to it. It didn't show any signs of recognition, yet I swear that one-day as I watched Polly waving excitedly, a deep pulse of orange appeared momentarily in its large glass eye.
Polly loved the robot but couldn't understand how it had been able to lift us both. I explained to her, that to him, we had been as light as feather.
The world moves on and so many things have changed; yet I'll never forget those days in the apartment and the rickety old dance of the robots.
User Reviews
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-03 08:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2007-12-03 00:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid read, could use a bit more proofing. Welcome.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-03 05:19:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww, that's a lovely story.
Poetic license aside, however, I would say that any family living in an industrial/mining/lumber town where heavy goods vehicles and generally dangerous stuff is frequent on the roads would have a very firm respect for health and safety and no kids would ever go wandering into the street. It just wouldn't happen to anyone with an ounce of brain.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-03 05:16:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-03 04:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-03 04:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Make your paragraphs smaller, proofread, polish and most of all welcome:)
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-12-03 03:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
riked it
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-12-03 02:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is, in my opinion, a good idea. however, it feels like you kinda rushed it.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-12-03 02:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you were leaving derek
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-12-03 01:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's almost an allegory on racism.
I want a sequel about how you manipulated the court system into holding the robot company responcible for not being able to control your kid!
Like that time a guy ran over his daughter with a lawn mower and sued the lawn mower company. No joke.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-12-03 01:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this isnt really science fiction, its more just 'drama' than anything else. that it involves robots is merely coincidental.
either way, it was an engaging story, one of a VERY few ive seen here. could do with a bit more show, and a little less tell (though that would involve probably another 500-700 words), and the 'icicles spiralling through my veins' metaphor is clumsy, but this story was better than about 99% of others on this at least this site. not that thats saying a great deal, but anyway.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-12-03 00:53:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome on so very many levels.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2007-12-03 00:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid read, could use a bit more proofing. Welcome.