sometimes no decision is a decision (965 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.23 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loki (View user info) at 2007-12-03 21:47:40 EST
Once upon a time in a land far far away was a grove of huge magical trees. The people who lived in the trees came from all over the forest but they all worked and lived together in a community they formed there in the grove. Different people in the grove had different jobs and were paid with shinny rocks they exchanged for things like food, clothing, and fuel for their big metal carts they liked to drive around and around in circles when they were not working.
Every year right around the winter solstice a large eagle would come to the stump in the middle of the forest. Everyone would go on scheduled solo trips to pay homage to the golden eagle and talk about the previous year. The golden eagle would hand out painted wooden sticks showing how many shinny rocks that person would receive for the coming year. Sometimes the golden eagle would judge a person to be particularly worthy and would also give that person a golden feather.
One of the people who lived in the grove was a girl who worked for a wizard making magic potions that light up the night sky. When it was her turn to go pay homage to the golden eagle he asked her if she would spend a year working for a lessor wizard who needed her help in organizing her workshop. The girl didn't really want to leave the wizard she was working for but the golden eagle told her that it would be good for her career and blew so much smoke up the girl's ass that she believed him.
The girl didn't really like the workshop of the lessor wizard a great deal. She and the lessor wizard had a few personality clashes, but they were professionals and adults so they pretty much worked it out. Then the time came for the girl to pay homage to the golden eagle. She was happy that at long last her year of working for the lessor wizard was over. When she got to the stump though, she was horrified and confused to find that although there was a golden eagle on the stump it was a different golden eagle. To her further horror the new golden eagle had not realized that she had been promised the golden feather and had already given that year's feather to someone else.
The girl went looking for her old wizard to find out what had happened. The old wizard told her that he had put her in for the golden feather but that since she had spent that year working for the lessor wizard there was only so much he could do. Basically the lessor wizard had fucked the girl over by stealing credit for every magic potion that the girl had created all year and recommended that the golden feather go to someone who did not actually work with her but was from the same tribe so they had this weird connection that the girl did not have. The old wizard said that he had maneuvered it so that if she wanted to the girl would come back to his lab to make magic potions and wouldn't have to have anything to do with the lessor wizard again.
The girl agreed to that, but asked for another meeting with the new golden eagle. When he came back to the stump for the meeting she expressed righteous indignation at having been passed over for the golden feather. The new golden eagle was a little surprised because clearly he did not fully grasp the situation until the girl ripped everyone a new one. During that meeting she told the new golden eagle that she had at one time been a wizard instructor at a small ivory tower there in the grove. She was just a part-time night wizard instructor but it was something she really enjoyed. She had always kicked around the idea of leaving the grove and making her way to the city where the big ivory towers were to try her luck at being a full time wizard instructor. The girl, the new golden eagle, the old wizard, and heck even the lessor wizard had all attended wizard school at such an establishment so they knew good and damn well that the girl would be in high demand especially as a woman instructing in an ivory tower in this particular specialty of magic potion creation. The girl explained to the new golden eagle that if she felt like there was any reason she might have a less then stellar career there in the grove she wanted him to at least be man enough to tell her that so that she could stop wasting her time, go to the city, teach in the ivory tower, and start working on getting tenure.
A few days after the meeting the old wizard came to see the girl. He told her that the new golden eagle had tried to find another golden feather but there were only so many allotments and there were none to be found. The old wizard told her that the new golden eagle was going to change her allotment of shinny rocks to what she would have gotten had she received the golden feather. They knew that was not really good enough but they also swore to her that the next year she would get the golden feather. She agreed to give them one year to get their shit together before she would make any life changing decisions. Still though, she never quite forgot that entire year that she should have been the one they called "feather keeper".
As an odd side note the one who got the golden feather did such a piss poor job of it that she got transferred to a laboratory that just cleans the beakers from the laboratories that make the magic potions and the lessor wizard is still in the same workshop doing the same thing day after day still following the exact spell that the girl created when she worked there, never improving it or advancing the formula in any way. Stalled like a hamster in a little spinning wheel, but the girl doesn't really concern herself with those two because the feather keeper didn't do anything to her and the lessor wizard is her own worst enemy. At this point their paths never cross except by accident at random wizard events where they are polite to each other but not overly friendly.
The new golden eagle spent the next year watching what all was really going on in the workshops. During that time the girl seethed but was more or less a naturally positive person and got back to working on her magic potions. It helped that she was back in her old workshop playing around with her old friends and working for her old wizard who did not gripe her ass or micro-manage her in a way that makes her violent and angry. From time to time though the girl couldn't help but think about her dream of the ivory tower. They workshop where the girl worked had mirrors that were windows into different worlds. Every now and then she would call up a couple of ivory towers just to see what was going on and wonder what it would be like to live there again but this time as something more than a mere apprentice.
Then the time came, the winter solstice was near, and it was time to go pay homage to the golden eagle. Sure enough as promised, this year the girl was given a sizable increase in shinny rocks and the coveted golden feather and she has been promised that she will not have to pitch such an epic fit to get her next golden feather. In return the girl has vowed not to leave the workshop of the old wizard to go work for any lessor wizards ever again and now that the old wizard has been given an even more powerful book of spells, she doesn't really have to in order to earn her next golden feather.
In the end, the girl likes working in the old more powerful wizard's workshop. She's always gotten along really well with him and all of the other people in the workshop except for that one guy but he's a contractor anyway and will eventually leave. Limited resources and unlimited desires is a cornerstone of economic theory. It is simply not possible to do everything you want to do in life. She gets more shinny rocks than she would if she went to the city to work in the ivory tower and her life is much easier than it would have been as a wizard instructor, but still somewhere deep in the dark recesses of the girl's mind is this lingering doubt, did she do the right thing or did she just sell her soul.
User Reviews
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-12-06 15:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
temp agencies are horrid
We literally have more contractors than employees.
Submitted by daddiesgurl01 (user info) at 2007-12-06 12:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Temp Agencies don't have golden feathers only rotten benefits
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-12-06 12:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
could have sworn I already rated!
This was great - I feel your pain. I look longingly toward the alternative career of academia as well - only more for much younger kids. They get summers off!!
sigh.
My feather may come soon - I learn next week if I'm eligible, and then I have to go through "processes"
My shinny (hehehehe - that misspelling makes me laugh!) rocks allotment was increased already, fairly decently, so that at least is good. But still - the feather taunts....
I have a sneaky suspicion that your pile of rocks would make mine look paltry, and that your feather is probably bigger than my potential feather as well... *weeeeeep*
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2007-12-05 17:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least in your wizard factory you get to talk to the golden eagle...
ours really doesn't give a shit.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-05 16:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like applesauce.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-12-04 15:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed this "Corporate" fairy tale.
I really don't do well under supervision either, so I understand totally about being unmanageable.
I wouldn't say you sold your soul though, making a few wagers with it maybe, but not totally sold, if you had sold it... you would no longer have the capacity to question it.
Unless you feel hollow and useless, a former shell of the person you used to be because of the magical fit you demonstrated, completely lacking in real professionalism....then yes you have sold your soul.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-12-04 15:09:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That old wizard is now the old goat. He just told an auditor that I'm one of his direct reports because I am unmanagable. Technically there should be at least one other level between him and me, but I work better without a boss.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-12-04 14:48:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-04 14:00:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, but you sold your soul.
WELCOME TO THE CLUB!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-04 13:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-12-04 12:09:17 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-04 11:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, we call the misfit toys "black belts." :)
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So they are useless everywhere?
================
From my experience with the two corporations I've worked for in the past ten years, yes.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-12-04 13:09:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-04 11:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, we call the misfit toys "black belts." :)
------------
So they are useless everywhere?
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-04 12:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to work there!!
It's just a job.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-12-04 12:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-12-04 11:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Old Well
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-12-04 11:44:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We have a Land of Broken Toys too.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-04 11:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-12-04 08:37:01 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
We actually have a department that we call the island of misfit toys. Its where we stick people who get promoted and can't handle it. There are all these people over there who are managers over no one. What I wonder is if they realize they are in a professional dead end or if so if they care. Its not like they get a pay cut so they may be content to coast.
===========================
Here, we call the misfit toys "black belts." :)
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-04 11:31:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Technically speaking, unless you're self-employed you will always be selling a bit of your soul, but sometimes it can be worthwhile.
As I heard from a Dylan song the other day "You're gonna have to serve somebody" but at least you appear to like who you're serving, which pays for itself in stress relief.
I like these kinds of stories. I wrote one myself just the other week:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/113465
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-12-04 10:54:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I am going to give you a choice between all of the reviews that I want to write. You can choose from any of the following:
1. STFU N00b
2. I really enjoyed this.
3. Do you need economic theory in a land where you have magic potions?
4. What Shlongy said.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2007-12-04 10:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaait a second here....
This is a metaphor, isn't it??
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-04 10:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-12-04 09:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
golden feathers = promotion
We actually have a department that we call the island of misfit toys. Its where we stick people who get promoted and can't handle it. There are all these people over there who are managers over no one. What I wonder is if they realize they are in a professional dead end or if so if they care. Its not like they get a pay cut so they may be content to coast.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-12-04 08:08:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got a rather large golden feather this year.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-04 07:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-03 22:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This was a very weak attempt to make something obviously mundane readable.
I read through the whole thing just thinking "I do not care about your life", not to mention "shinny rocks".
Take a deep breath and think about what makes a story about someone's life or experiences interesting, and you will hopefully see that your own trivial annoyances do not come close to qualifying.
Going on about the minutae of your career and aspirations is interesting if you are a drug dealer or a hitperson, not so much if you are something else.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also what skrapmetal said. Imo go poop now.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-12-04 07:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What exactly were the golden feathers? Year end bonus?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-04 05:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/113537#2596705
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-04 05:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-12-04 00:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Corporate backstabbing, business politics, and over douche-baggery never seemed so poetic before. Bravo.
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holy shit you're still alive?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-04 05:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-12-04 04:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Moral of the story: Be ye not the potion maker nor the wizard nor even the eagle. Be ye the landlord of the grove.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2007-12-04 01:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-12-03 22:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance
A planet of play things
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
'The stars aren't aligned
Or the gods are malign...'
Blame is better to give than receive
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill
There are those who think
That they were dealt a losing hand
The cards were stacked against them
They weren't born in Lotusland
All preordained
A prisoner in chains
A victim of venomous fate
Kicked in the face
You can't pray for a place
In heaven's unearthly estate
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill
Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill
--
I will choose not to post cheesy lyrics that Neil Peart wrote after getting high and reading Ayn Rand.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-12-04 00:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Corporate backstabbing, business politics, and over douche-baggery never seemed so poetic before. Bravo.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-12-03 23:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
this would be ok, if you were in the 9th grade
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-12-03 23:15:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Steak of the Union address will be along shortly. (See that? It's me whoring again.)
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-12-03 22:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance
A planet of play things
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
'The stars aren't aligned
Or the gods are malign...'
Blame is better to give than receive
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill
There are those who think
That they were dealt a losing hand
The cards were stacked against them
They weren't born in Lotusland
All preordained
A prisoner in chains
A victim of venomous fate
Kicked in the face
You can't pray for a place
In heaven's unearthly estate
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill
Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-03 22:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus Christ, this sucked in more ways than I can list without falling asleep.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-12-03 22:14:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry old bean but I'm just not into fart humor: http://www.ubersite.com/m/113324
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-03 22:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This was a very weak attempt to make something obviously mundane readable.
I read through the whole thing just thinking "I do not care about your life", not to mention "shinny rocks".
Take a deep breath and think about what makes a story about someone's life or experiences interesting, and you will hopefully see that your own trivial annoyances do not come close to qualifying.
Going on about the minutae of your career and aspirations is interesting if you are a drug dealer or a hitperson, not so much if you are something else.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-12-03 21:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely splendid.
i enjoyed this very much.