Some thoughts... (1806 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.78 on 171 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ChaosJester (View user info) at 2007-12-06 05:00:31 EST
You ever think about blood? I mean, really think about it? As time goes by, I find myself imagining its slippery texture more and more. I remember its taste, metallic and, strangely, almost sweet. I like the way it dries on the skin and leaves a sticky, crumbling residue.
Actually, I suppose that it's not the purely physical aspects of blood that I find so alluring, but rather the symbolic meaning behind it. After all, blood is the stuff of Life itself. When you hold a bit of it in your cupped hands, you are literally touching a part of some (formerly) living thing's soul. Is there anything more intimate?
I remember hunting deer with my father when I was so very, very young. We would sit in a cold deer-blind for hours, quietly waiting. Growing up, I didn't have a whole lot of contact with my father, so I really treasured these moments. Anyway, I remember watching the sun come up and seeing my breath fog as my dad sat beside me, nearly motionless.
Suddenly, my father's body posture would stiffen and he would smoothly pick up his rifle. My heart would start pounding with anticipation and I always leaned forward to watch. Moving silently, with little to no wasted movements, my dad would slowly point the weapon at the quietly grazing deer and patiently aim. No matter how prepared I was for the shot, its deafening sound always made me jump.
Once the animal was down, we'd climb down from our hunting position and approach our kill. My father always had a pistol handy in case the deer hadn't been killed outright. Once we reached the animal, my father would go about the messy business of field-dressing (i.e. gutting) the deer. I would watch with rapt attention as he slit the beast up the middle, careful not to puncture any of the internal organs.
Once the offal was removed, my father would carry the carcass up to our waiting truck. Once we arrived back at the ranch-house owned by one of my father's friends (at the time), we would hang the deer out in the yard so we could skin it and wash the remaining flesh. I never felt any horror at killing the animal, nor was I particularly bothered by the ensuing gutting/skinning. My father explained to me that this was simply the natural order of things; we always ate what we killed and we never killed without reason.
As I grew older, my father and I began to drift apart. I'm still not certain why. I suppose a fair amount of it had to do with my step-mother; she already had a son and didn't particularly want any more kids. Even so, my father made an effort to be a part of both my and my sister's lives; at least, for a while. Unfortunately, I wasn't exactly the sort of son he'd have preferred. He'd been a complete jock in High School and I viewed most sports to be both pointless and exceedingly dull. The thoughts that always lit up my brain with a thousand ideas and possibilities only made him sleepy.
No, my younger sister was the one who excelled in sports, growing up. If she had been a boy, I'm pretty sure my sister would have been his favorite. I still don't think she's ever quite forgiven me for that perceived injustice.
Nowadays, I'm not too angsty about all this. I've seen and done enough to understand that few things happen as we would prefer and no one is perfect. Still, I imagine that my own intense desire to be a good Dad, someday, springs in no small part from my own early yearning for a caring father figure who was around when I needed him.
Perhaps that's the reason why I feel so connected to blood. My earliest happy memories are of me dipping my tiny hands in that wonderful crimson fluid as my father played at being an amateur butcher. Even today, I get a strangely pleasant feeling inside whenever I handle raw meat.
Is that weird?
*********************************
Anyway, just so this isn't too serious, here's one of my favorite pics from the London trip. One of the chicas we were hanging with decided that I just *had* to try some of her lip gloss that made your lips all poofy and pillowy. Obviously, I was very, very drunk when she snapped this.
User Reviews
Submitted by McBain (user info) at 2007-12-09 01:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i used to fuck guys like you when i was in prison.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-12-07 00:25:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like what gets stuffed in a 16' gun on a battleship.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-12-07 00:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-06 19:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even for an Internet person, you're really creepy.
Submitted by MikeyP3184 (user info) at 2007-12-06 18:41:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 For foamy. That is all
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-12-06 16:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you have decent fucking pubs there. Lucky knob.
Submitted by SanDee (user info) at 2007-12-06 15:53:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just, because..
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-06 15:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sanguine
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-06 13:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-06 13:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Where's that CircleJerk 4 Lyfe logo I love so much?
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-12-06 13:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-06 13:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 12:15:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That bee sting lip gloss shit is horrid.
You seem quite the celebrity...!
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-12-06 11:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
spoken from the heart, eh nosferatu?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-12-06 11:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you look horrible, but it is a very interesting and nice story
just now i was listening to the heart beat of a lovely whore
i suddenly realised, my god, it's been ages since i heard another humans heart beat.
it sounded rather nice
(this came to mind now due to the blood business of course: the heart apparetly pumps the blood around)
as a liquid, i'm squeemish about blood - too squemish to donate for instance. i think they take a PINT out of you. a whole fucking pint of y0ur blood!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 11:09:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i annoyed absolutely everyone in my chemistry lab for three months straight by singing "get happy".
they deserved it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 11:06:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The other day, as I was leaving work, I got "Food, glorious food" from Oliver Twist stuck in my head and couldn't shift it for almost 2 weeks.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have a veggietales song stuck in my head now :(
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're really interested in blood, try this. I read it, and it was amazing.
http://www.theocraticlibrary.com/071.jpg
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I purchase animals to fill the voids of human companionship in my life
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I thought you had a common law wife? I've seen pictures.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mmmmmmmmm road kill
I SEEN IT FIRST
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We used to eat the wild rabbits that we would hit with our cars at night in Greece, they're delicious, like sweet chicken
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:39:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My guess is that it's a left over from some hole you were knocking around with your lamb spit.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Rabbits are nice - especially with a thick, gravy sauce.
My mum used to trick me by calling it chicken, but I knew, and I think she knew I knew. It's good, you can buy rabbit in Waitrose.
15:36 - stopped raining.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I purchase animals to fill the voids of human companionship in my life
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:36:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Only women and poofters own rabbits. Seriously, Method, what prompted you to buy a rabbit. I'll take him but I'll eat him for dinner....for real.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who is neil gaiman ?
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He's an authour. He wrote stuff about a secret London peopled by the homeless and fantastic characters; London Below. Like, the Angel Islington is an actual angel that lives underneath Angel Islington and so on.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey does anyone want a stupid rabbit? He stinks like shit and he doesn't pay rent, much like the asshole in the picture above
--
That sounds very much like the rabbit my ex girlfriend kept in her bedside table!
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That was no rabbit drogo - EI's told me the stories...
--
Well he swore blind to me that he 'Slipped on it' by accident. Who am I to disbelieve him?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:33:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
rabbit stew time!
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey does anyone want a stupid rabbit? He stinks like shit and he doesn't pay rent, much like the asshole in the picture above
--
That sounds very much like the rabbit my ex girlfriend kept in her bedside table!
----------
That was no rabbit drogo - EI's told me the stories...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:32:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
whoops
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I went to Rome on the weekend - fantastic place.
They've got this thing they're building, the Coloseum, and when its finished, I'm sure it'll look great.
hahahahaha
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey does anyone want a stupid rabbit? He stinks like shit and he doesn't pay rent, much like the asshole in the picture above
--
That sounds very much like the rabbit my ex girlfriend kept in her bedside table!
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey does anyone want a stupid rabbit? He stinks like shit and he doesn't pay rent, much like the asshole in the picture above
***********************************
Mom?
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I went to Rome on the weekend - fantastic place.
They've got this thing they're building, the Coloseum, and when its finished, I'm sure it'll look great.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey does anyone want a stupid rabbit? He stinks like shit and he doesn't pay rent, much like the asshole in the picture above
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
true drogo. then again i think the english may only like him cuz they're so proud he's the first british author americans have read en masse since charles dickens.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
or mocked :(
--
Sorry Em, I guess it isnt fair to pick on someone when they are ill. Just no sport in it.
Right I'm off Chav Hunting.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who isn't a neil gaiman fan?
*************************
TRUF!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
or mocked :(
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh im going, im being ignored :(
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who is neil gaiman ?
--
Oh come on Em, dont try and tell me you havent picked up a book that is written by someone whose name sounds like GAYman? You probably picked it up thinking it was going to become your bible.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now CJ, just because Method dislikes you, your post and your jacket is no reason to be rude.
***********************************
Well, you don't like me either, but I don't mind.
Method's just unpleasant and doesn't make me smile.
:(
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:20:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the record I think you're okay, but that jacket... You should burn it, 'cause if you lose it you might find it again.
-------
says the plaid afficionado.
new shirt yet?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who is neil gaiman ?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well i could smell you from london darling.
downwind no less.
--
I get that a lot, sorry.
I washed last year too, I guess this whole 'Your body will cleanse itself eventually' thing just isnt working out.
Right i'm off to wash, no doubts it will help me loose weight too, bonus!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:20:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the record I think you're okay, but that jacket... You should burn it, 'cause if you lose it you might find it again.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who isn't a neil gaiman fan?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:20:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
OK - did it have a Thai restaurant in it, because that place looks really familiar, and is in the right area.
*****************************
Don't think so. Just a bunch of comfy divans in the center of the pup. Also a bottom floor/basement for smoking.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is more of a thought, singular. I'm guessing you and your dad drifted apart because he caught you sucking of some man in the wood shed. Your thoughts on blood are interesting and eerily similar to mine, minus the hunting. Hunting is for rednecks with sons who suck off men in the woodshed.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now CJ, just because Method dislikes you, your post and your jacket is no reason to be rude.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Noonie is a Rat Speaker from London Below, show due respect
----
method is like my sonny.
except less bullet riddled.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And Noonie LIES!
Everything she touches either dies or turns to suck.
...
Including Methods 'roid-shrunken wiener.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
OK - did it have a Thai restaurant in it, because that place looks really familiar, and is in the right area.
Raining again.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Noonie is a Rat Speaker from London Below, show due respect
----------------
o_0
ZOMG WTF Method = Redskieslookfake?????
I'd have never pictured Method for a Neil Gaiman fan, although I suppose he does live in New York.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i fucked orphelia
hahahahahahaha no of course i didnt, that would just be silly.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:15:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well is that pub the fucking Churchill Arms or not!!!!!!!!!!
*******************************
Um, I don't really remember, Orph.
Tho I'm pretty sure it was somewhere in Notting Hill (where our Bed & Breakfast was).
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pets crap everywhere. Also they wake you up by poking you in the face with their little noses and scrabbling over you with their little paws. Methinks Anansie should draw comparisons between pet behaviour and her bo.
Katy, you should have ferrets. You sound like you'd look after them properly. I don't think Anansie would enjoy looking after ferrets.
-----
i take good care of all things that end up living with me. the humans don't tend to appreciate it though.
at least my cat still likes me...
and ferrets are like having a rat sized dog with cat like curiosity. so unless you want something that can and will get into everything you don't want it to unless you're careful i wouldn't get a ferret.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Noonie is a Rat Speaker from London Below, show due respect
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well is that pub the fucking Churchill Arms or not!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:13:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow i am SO good at killing a thread.
i really didn't fuck method you know...
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So that day when I saw you and you were covered with meaty man sweat and smelled of cheese, what really happened?
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Oh piss off, the whole lot of you
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well i could smell you from london darling.
downwind no less.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i fucked drogo.
:(
sans roofies sadly.
--
If only Noonie! If Only.
Sadly, for me, you avoided my area of residence when you came a visiting Old Blighty.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:11:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow i am SO good at killing a thread.
i really didn't fuck method you know...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So that day when I saw you and you were covered with meaty man sweat and smelled of cheese, what really happened?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She opened a can of spam that had been shaken up.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i fucked drogo.
:(
sans roofies sadly.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow i am SO good at killing a thread.
i really didn't fuck method you know...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So that day when I saw you and you were covered with meaty man sweat and smelled of cheese, what really happened?
--
She had tried to steal Fat Tonys Cheese Burger Duh!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow i am SO good at killing a thread.
i really didn't fuck method you know...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So that day when I saw you and you were covered with meaty man sweat and smelled of cheese, what really happened?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:08:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by athena87 (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You wandered off the topic a little, it was a good piece. needs a little polish, also its hard for me to like blood when i have to put up with tampons and pads one week out of four.
-----------------------------
MY POINT EXACTLY!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:07:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
katy ruined this thread
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pets crap everywhere. Also they wake you up by poking you in the face with their little noses and scrabbling over you with their little paws. Methinks Anansie should draw comparisons between pet behaviour and her bo.
Katy, you should have ferrets. You sound like you'd look after them properly. I don't think Anansie would enjoy looking after ferrets.
Submitted by athena87 (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You wandered off the topic a little, it was a good piece. needs a little polish, also its hard for me to like blood when i have to put up with tampons and pads one week out of four.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow i am SO good at killing a thread.
i really didn't fuck method you know...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. - Noonies vagina was created by the Umbrella Corporation
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didn't put you off :p
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how rude :(
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eventually though, CJ got over it even if he never truly forgave America for being such an utter cunt. Still, CJ got the last laugh because the last time he, briefly, visited his pissant excuse for a home-town, he discovered that America had married some local loser and was busy shitting out kids like every other two-bit, trailer-trash whore.
-------------------------------------
Gotta love that feeling.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:52:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. - Noonies vagina was created by the Umbrella Corporation
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Method, if you ever have an interest in women that look like young boys, you may call me.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:51:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i had one white ferret so i used non toxic markers to color him in :D
he was very very christmassy one year. the stupid ex husband brought them all home. i was all ok with the first two, easy and cheap to take care of two ferrets. he also brought home a third cat and several reptiles. all of which i ended up taking care of :(
I MISS MY ZOO!!!!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:38:41 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:36:59 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like you did here? http://www.ubersite.com/m/113560
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Now thats genius. But as you can see from my shlongy effort my paint skills are far superior. Hurty , you may be lucky enough to get one of my Christmas cards!!
===============
Funny, they look equally shit to me.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. - Noonies vagina was created by the Umbrella Corporation
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:22:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh, you're such a rebel
******************************
Says the only poseur lamer than me...
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Whatever helps you sleep at night princess. You've got so many pieces of fucking "flare" on your jacket, you MUST be unique.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:39:59 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, Fuck off, Hurty. HIM may be the Gayest Band Evar, but I think ol' Dudes voice is just ducky
...
Wait a minute. Haven't we had this conversation before? At any rate, you should be the last person to knock on someone else's taste in music.
That's right. I know about the secret 'Sound of Music' soundtrack you keep locked in your car's glove compartment.
==========
More fool you mate, I don't drive a car, check this shit out: http://www.ubersite.com/m/113464
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's funny how one can form opinions about people on uber without having met them. "That guy is a douche", etc...
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:47:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Noonie had 9 ferrets?!?
Jaysus.
I mean, I like the squishy little bastards an all, but Damn.
That's a lotta varmints.
On a side note, I once knew someone who shaved his ferret so he had a mohawk. We called him Spike (like the Gremlins movie).
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a cat, but he goes outside to pee/poop. No catbox. Ha!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of my most treasured memories are hunting rabbits with my dad.
------
my ferrets were failures at ferreting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My bf and I had a disagreement about them the other day. I was talking about how I thought they were cute. He said they stank and had oily fur. I said you could get that fixed. I was right, right?
----
time for me to admit some weirdness here. i like the smell of clean ferrets. not that i smell like a skunk all the time while trying to be like them, but i had 9 ferrets and i didn't mind. they were as clean as someone could really get ferrets.
they are cute and fluffy. they have a mild skunk smell, they are mustelids. the oily fur is when someone isn't bathing them. you should be giving them a bath about once a month. ferrets you purchase at a pet store are descented and fixed which neutralizes the smell even more. ferrets you get from a breeder may or may not be so. if they're responsible then yeah probably.
my ferrets were clean and fluffy, definitely not oily. you had better like or get used to the smell though. same as any other pet smell, cat box, wet dog. they smell like animal.
i miss my fuzzies :(
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'm still not certain why."
because your dad isn't emo and gay?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of my most treasured memories are hunting rabbits with my dad.
------
my ferrets were failures at ferreting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My bf and I had a disagreement about them the other day. I was talking about how I thought they were cute. He said they stank and had oily fur. I said you could get that fixed. I was right, right?
--
Of course you can. You need to first hold them tight then shoot them. After that a quick wash and shave and VOILA non oily and smell free ferret.
Oh make sure you remove all innards and stuff it with nice pot pouri before you desplay it. Nothing worse than the stench of decay comming from the mantle piece and making your Mother in Law jealous.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My father explained to me that this was simply the natural order of things; we always ate what we killed and we never killed without reason."
==================
I liked that line, it's simple, honest, and yet beautiful in it's brevity.
I like blood, and I liked this story too.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think, sometimes less maybe better than more CJ.
You let out far too much of yourself, and people rip you up.
*************************************
One of my favorite quips goes something like this:
"Oh yeah? Well I've had my ass kicked by hella tougher assholes than you!"
Sort of applies here, too.
I find that the people who try to 'rip me a new one' are usually the most pathetic of the bunch.
Those who I have respect for here are usually fairly tactful about whatever criticisms they might have.
Also, Fuck off, Hurty. HIM may be the Gayest Band Evar, but I think ol' Dudes voice is just ducky
...
Wait a minute. Haven't we had this conversation before? At any rate, you should be the last person to knock on someone else's taste in music.
That's right. I know about the secret 'Sound of Music' soundtrack you keep locked in your car's glove compartment.
FAG!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of my most treasured memories are hunting rabbits with my dad.
------
my ferrets were failures at ferreting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My bf and I had a disagreement about them the other day. I was talking about how I thought they were cute. He said they stank and had oily fur. I said you could get that fixed. I was right, right?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mr Hoppy!!
Hoppy Christmas!! hehe
I am very ill by the way.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:36:59 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like you did here? http://www.ubersite.com/m/113560
------------------
Now thats genius. But as you can see from my shlongy effort my paint skills are far superior. Hurty , you may be lucky enough to get one of my Christmas cards!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of my most treasured memories are hunting rabbits with my dad.
------
my ferrets were failures at ferreting.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:22:17 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:21:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im making my christmas cards today
--
Mother of God! You really are still in Nursery School!
==========
Mentally certainly.
-2 HIM.
----------
Whatever you dickweeds. People appreciate my efforts. fuck face prick heads.
--
Christ I'm sorry Em, you must still be recovering from you Illness and card making is part of the path to Wellness. Good luck there me old chum.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I havent actually read this post, i imagine its emo whining.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like you did here? http://www.ubersite.com/m/113560
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me explain, I make my cards on the computer, I do not use dried pasta or any silly efforts like that, I super impose work colleagues heads onto hilarious scenarios as well as creating my own. Therefore giving me something to do at work.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if you were a girl you may feel differently about blood.
clasp your hands together like your cupping a firefly and dip them into red paint. then you can make a beating heart :D
i used to do that in art class, now i just do it on halloween sometimes.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A stamp/card making party? Dude, you are so totally married, in every sense of the word.
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IT'S HIDEOUS!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:28:49 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever you dickweeds. People appreciate my efforts.
---------------------------
It's okay, Em, I make my own Christmas cards, too. Gotta use up the $40 of supplies somehow that the missus bought at a stamp/card-making party last year.
In fact, they actually turn out pretty good if you take your time with them.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:32:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The thing that was most interesting about this post, to me, was the story about you and your father. I didn't really care much for the gothy blood love.
Parent/Child relationships (especially "failed" ones), when done WELL, make good reading, because people will see universalities in it and make personal connections. In my opinion, you should write more of those, at least for practice.
I personally don't care about gothy blood-love, unless it's in horror fiction.
NOTE: This is all just my personal opinion, which I suppose is worth no more than anyone else's. But, now you know what worked in this post for me, at least.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:28:49 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever you dickweeds. People appreciate my efforts. fuck face prick heads.
================
I just painted some pasta gold, would you like me to sprinkle some glitter on it for you as well?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:22:17 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:21:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im making my christmas cards today
--
Mother of God! You really are still in Nursery School!
==========
Mentally certainly.
-2 HIM.
----------
Whatever you dickweeds. People appreciate my efforts. fuck face prick heads.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And another thing - is that the Churchill Arms in Kensington?
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think, sometimes less maybe better than more CJ.
You let out far too much of yourself, and people rip you up.
On a happier note, I am the proud owner of a new PS3. And I got a new skateboard.
And it's not even Christmas yet.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:22:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh, you're such a rebel
******************************
Says the only poseur lamer than me...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:22:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh, you're such a rebel
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:22:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:21:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im making my christmas cards today
--
Mother of God! You really are still in Nursery School!
==========
Mentally certainly.
-2 HIM.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im making my christmas cards today
--
Mother of God! You really are still in Nursery School!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK, I only just noticed that you're wearing a H.I.M. shirt.
-2.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Im desingining a card with a space hopper on it with HOPPY CHRISTMAS above it.
I am a genius.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:18:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I said various responses, but I think it's safe to say that it usually bothers me.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:12:40 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kiss Kiss, Bicthes.
==========
HEY! I stole that from my porcelain lady, you can't have it too!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I find that the blood of other creatures (including humans) triggers various responses, ranging from overly concerned to full freak out, especially if I perceive the creature/person as weaker than me.
My own doesn't really bother me, but I've never seen a lot of it at once.
Do you EVER change clothes?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im making my christmas cards today
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:12:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kiss Kiss, Bicthes.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:12:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 14:10:02 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit, I've been rumbled.
TO THE DUMPSTER WI' YE, AMERICA!
==========
Was that an attempt at Scottish?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:11:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're such a fucking fag...
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:11:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
**************************
Blow it out yer ass, you no-posting hack.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit, I've been rumbled.
TO THE DUMPSTER WI' YE, AMERICA!
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just so we're clear, there isn't, by any chance, a jar or zip-lock freezer bag containing this "America" chick's head tucked under your bed is there?
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2007-12-06 09:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-06 08:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'd be a real hardy for you, Orphelia.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 08:19:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A post within a post? You are pushing the boundaries today, poofy lips.
Shlongy kills me. I bet he is a real softy really.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 08:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh Shlongy, my delicious Man-treat.
How I long for your -2 reviews...
They make me happy in my Special Spot.
XOXO
LOL!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-06 08:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just take all of the insults I've ever hurled on Uber and pretend they're all listed in this review.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 07:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyway, tell us your story.
***************************************
(sigh)
Well, since Berty asked and, as we all know, he's second only to Drogo on my Obsess-o-Meter, here goes:
Long ago and far, far away, there lived a pasty, 17-year old lad named ChaosJester (or CJ, for short). Now, CJ had always been a quiet boy and, until the previous summer when he'd toiled for many months out in the hot Texas sun clearing scrap metal-filled fields, had been quite the chunky monkey. At this point, he was as the ugly duckling who'd just transformed into the swan, but hadn't yet looked into a mirror.
Anyway, young CJ's only quasi-friends were of the nerdy, role-playing variety (who eventually got into LARPing, but CJ had already left for Parts Unknown by then). As is often the case in such groups, there was one pseudo-hot girl who hung around all the gamer troglodytes. Let's call her 'America'. Now, America wasn't all that into the whole gaming scene, but she definately enjoyed all the obsessive attention heaped on her by horny, young boys who, otherwise, wouldn't be getting close to a female for another five years or so. Everyone except young CJ, however.
CJ knew for an absolute fact that America was well beyong his lowly league, so he didn't even bother trying. Whilst his erstwhile colleagues were busy constantly kissing America's ass in the vain and foolish hope that she'd give them a pity date/fuck/anything, CJ just quietly rolled his dice and played his character. How was poor CJ to know that this indifference was exactly the sort of behavior that would attract Little Miss Bitch to him like the moth to a flame?
Anyway, unbeknownst to oblivious CJ, America was becoming more and more drawn toward him. Her efforts to ensnare hime, or even just get his attention, became more and more pronounced. His friends grew spiteful with jealousy and CJ started to wonder why his characters started to suffer unpleasant and bizarre demises with an increasing frequency.
Eventually, however, things became too blatent for even CJ to remain ignorant. So, one ominous day, CJ mustered up all his nerve and asked America out on a date, which she acquiesced to. The night in question was, quite simply, amazing for innocent CJ. For perhaps the first time in his life, he felt liked/attractive. CJ was in love, head over heels. Unfortunately, once America had conquered CJ, she no longer wanted him. CJ's parents realized this, but wisely said nothing since CJ was far too young, stupid and in love for the first time to listen to them.
Anyway, CJ's rose-colored bubble was exceedingly short-lived. A few weeks after they first got together, America stopped responding to CJ's phone calls/e-mails/everything. She didn't even have the balls to break up with him. CJ was left to wrack his brains for a clue about what he had done wrong to make her not like him any more. Eventually, America's father had to tell CJ that America was "seeing another boy at the moment and could he take a message?"
To say that CJ was slightly disturbed by this would be a bit of an understatement. Eventually though, CJ got over it even if he never truly forgave America for being such an utter cunt. Still, CJ got the last laugh because the last time he, briefly, visited his pissant excuse for a home-town, he discovered that America had married some local loser and was busy shitting out kids like every other two-bit, trailer-trash whore.
(pant, pant)
...But I'm not bitter/vindictive at all.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:32:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do the world a favour and don't breed - there are enough whiney emo-gheys already.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We're all late bloomers here Chaos. Well, except for Drogoroch who was knee deep in punani by the time he was 14.
Anyway, tell us your story.
--
Hey I was alate too!! Still waiting actually as aparently Livestock doesnt count, bloody bastards with their rules.
Chaos- Becareful with the Drodo shit, I am not hairy enough for a fucking hobbit.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I raped a cow once
fantastic pair
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SO what were you driving at with the blood? Are you certain it doesn't stem from some fascination with an early girlfriend's menstrual cycle?
**************************
um, I was what you might call a 'late bloomer' (i.e. loser). My first sort-of girlfriend happened upon me when I was around 17. That story...isn't a pleasant one.
--
Mate! 'Happened upon you'????
That shit is Rape dude. RAPE I tells ya.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We're all late bloomers here Chaos. Well, except for Drogoroch who was knee deep in punani by the time he was 14.
Anyway, tell us your story.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh shut up CJ you big freak.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:13:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
er, Drogo...
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:13:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH NOes!! We will start a collection to send him aids.
*************************
Foolish Drodo. I already have teh Ghey Panda Aidz...
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SO what were you driving at with the blood? Are you certain it doesn't stem from some fascination with an early girlfriend's menstrual cycle?
**************************
um, I was what you might call a 'late bloomer' (i.e. loser). My first sort-of girlfriend happened upon me when I was around 17. That story...isn't a pleasant one.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 11:08:40 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
God Save Our Queen
What, is Chaos in danger of dying?
--
OH NOes!! We will start a collection to send him aids.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 11:08:40 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
God Save Our Queen
What, is Chaos in danger of dying?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:08:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God Save Our Queen
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck is Ruth Maddox?
--
Berty I am shocked that you would even pretend not to know.
Jenkins is mine woohoo!!!!! And we shall drown her ugly brother Neil before the wedding. dont want his ugly mug ruining the photos.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi De Hi.
Em, we are old:(
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck is Ruth Maddox?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:02:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I prefer Ruth Maddox
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 06:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pfft. She wouldn't be able to darn socks, you can have her. She's blatently into folk music anyway, do you have any idea how insufferable those people are?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:58:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We make fun of the Welsh but really we all want a nice, pretty welsh girl to sleep with who will darn our socks and be extra happy on days when it doesn't rain.
--
Well I bagsy whathername? You know the good looking welsh singer, not the ugly old cave dweller that bangs rugby boys.
Oh yeah Katherine Jenkins. She's mine MINE I tell you.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We make fun of the Welsh but really we all want a nice, pretty welsh girl to sleep with who will darn our socks and be extra happy on days when it doesn't rain.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets face it, all of Great Britain unites in our view of Americans.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:54:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Hurty IS Scotish, after all.
Everyone knows that they're only barely civilized at best...
Just above the Irish, actually.
...
Y'know, I always wondered where the Welsh fit in on this particular stereotype.
--
We dont mention the Welsh. We didnt need a wall to keep them out like the fearsome scots, as we discovered that all we needed was ear plugs to drown out their singing. Nothing more depressing than going to a good sword fight and having some bearded welsh git singing at you rather than fighting. The worst part of the thing is the phlegm they produce.
I would like a petition to be started to rebuild Hadrians wall. It would hopefully stop my scottish family being able to come and visit, because we all know that the scots cant climb over 3 foot walls.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty the Tesco Barbarian.
RRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!
----------------------------------
Acocks Green is about as close to the wilderness as you can get round here.
Seriously though, people in Acocks Green are dimmer than anyone else in Birmingham. I can only assume the water supply is tainted in some way as to make them all numpty. Every last one of them.
SO what were you driving at with the blood? Are you certain it doesn't stem from some fascination with an early girlfriend's menstruel cycle?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty, I grew up in middle class luxury. Lots of open spaces and countryside. The move to Notts was a choice I made as a teen. A far cry from my 'roots'.
Hurty you surprise me. You gun totting, trigger happy deer murderer!
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty the Tesco Barbarian.
RRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:44:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Noble as thou art wise Bertram.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:41:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am sure Hurty will be disgusted, that big jesse bunny loving veggie.
===========================
I've been hunting several times funnily enough. It's not the killing of animals that I'm opposed to, it's the way it's done. I thoroughly enjoyed shooting a deer, knowing full well that it was going to provide food for my friends' family.
----------------------------------------
I feel exactly the same when I go on a beer run to Tesco and buy my mate Steve a bucket of chicken from KFC.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia the Rabbit-Stalker.
...
Sweet.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of my most treasured memories are hunting rabbits with my dad. We would drive to the quarry in a dirty old Land Rover, in our wellies we would trudge through the dirt silently, me always walking behind. I will never forget my first kill. It was a hit, but not a clean one. I got a leg. My dad finished it off while I watched. We took our booty home, I would help take off the fur and gut it. I got to keep a foot, or if we got a phesant, I kept the claw, pulling at the tendons to make it grasp, making my older sister squeal. Happy days. I do love guns.
I am sure Hurty will be disgusted, that big jesse bunny loving veggie.
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Alright, I'll confess. I didn't see that one coming.
I guess I should have done though; Nottingham = guns, drugs and rabbit-cide (not to be confused with rabbi-cide which was a more popular pursuit from the '40s.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:41:18 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Hurty IS Scotish, after all.
Everyone knows that they're only barely civilized at best...
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This is true. I'm very proud of Hadrian's Wall.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Hurty IS Scotish, after all.
Everyone knows that they're only barely civilized at best...
Just above the Irish, actually.
...
Y'know, I always wondered where the Welsh fit in on this particular stereotype.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:41:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am sure Hurty will be disgusted, that big jesse bunny loving veggie.
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I've been hunting several times funnily enough. It's not the killing of animals that I'm opposed to, it's the way it's done. I thoroughly enjoyed shooting a deer, knowing full well that it was going to provide food for my friends' family.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:40:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, you'd be surprised. Secretly I'm all dark and tortured and spooky and shit.
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No you aren't. You listen to Punk Rock and fantasise about chicks whose tits jingle when you slap them.
You're about as dark and tortured and spooky as my dad's shed.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of my most treasured memories are hunting rabbits with my dad. We would drive to the quarry in a dirty old Land Rover, in our wellies we would trudge through the dirt silently, me always walking behind. I will never forget my first kill. It was a hit, but not a clean one. I got a leg. My dad finished it off while I watched. We took our booty home, I would help take off the fur and gut it. I got to keep a foot, or if we got a phesant, I kept the claw, pulling at the tendons to make it grasp, making my older sister squeal. Happy days. I do love guns.
I am sure Hurty will be disgusted, that big jesse bunny loving veggie.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:36:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:36:04 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty is lying by the way. He doesn't get the blood bit at all. All he's thinking of is black pudding and haggis, set to bagpipe music.
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Haha, you'd be surprised. Secretly I'm all dark and tortured and spooky and shit.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty is lying by the way. He doesn't get the blood bit at all. All he's thinking of is black pudding and haggis, set to bagpipe music.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's the lack of space. I always wonder if we have more in common with the Japanese than anyone else, but I don't know any Japanese people to be certain.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:34:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF is "Hard Cider"? I'm aware that in the States you refer to what is basically apple juice as being cider, so is "Hard Cider" apple juice with alcohol?
I get the blood stuff, interesting read.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fun Fact: I puked up about a gallon of Hard Cider in that pub at the end of the night. Imma Charmer, I am...
Also, I sort of figured that most Brits wouldn't get the blood bit. I notice that, despite speaking the same (or, at least, a similiar) language, Americans are usually fundamentally different animals from you jokers.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 10:16:21 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't look that drunk.
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Come off it, can you not SEE that jacket he's wearing?
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Touche.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting post and all, wonderful these windows into the souls, but the blood thing is just you.
Or at least nobody I know thinks about blood that way, however nobody I know ever went hunting. There really isn't a lot of space to hunt in Great Britian, as you're no doubt aware. I like the idea in theory though. Anyway, perhaps a whole bunch of seppos will now come on saying "Oh ya, I think about blood all the time. Sometimes I'm just staring at the paperclips on my desk thinking about how it looks like that buck I shot in the teeth last summer."
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't look that drunk.
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Come off it, can you not SEE that jacket he's wearing?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think your lips are poofy enough without the aid of the gloss.
Interesting.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-06 05:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't look that drunk.