fuck (1191 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.58 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dude, thats BOSH! (View user info) at 2007-12-09 02:28:34 EST
My girlfriend has a boyfriend, and it isn't me.
She threw a curse on me
she and the devil make three
and the angels are dining in hell.
fuck.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-04 12:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, we have something in common!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2007-12-11 19:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sympathy +2 i know what youre going through
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-12-10 23:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DUDE WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT??
-TURN UP THE MOLLY HATCHET
-SMOKE 10 CIGARETTES AT ONCE
HEATHER LOCKLEAR WILL BE BY SHORTLY TO CONSOLE YOU - ITS JUST THAT EASY
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-12-10 16:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh well, she's a slut with no integrity. Don't waste your energy on someone who doesn't respect you.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-10 13:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus if Bosh marries my sister, that pervert Susie Derkins will stop hitting on her.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-10 13:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-10 09:15:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-09 22:26:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know how this sort of thing is. As surprising as it is, I too have been in failing relationships, and it wasn't until I was like 25 that I met Molly Ringwald and got married. Anyways, I have this younger sister, and she's getting old (27 now) and is in horrible need of dating and getting married and not prospectively living with me. She's 6'2 and was a model for Aveda or something.
I have an opening for friday night if you'd like me to pencil her in.
------------------
I don't know.
You're okay, you know, but the Boshman seems like he would make a Bosh, or at least rather amusing, brother in law.
Me and him would be at the Thanksgiving table and I'd be all "tell the story again; the one about you, Molly Hatchet, and Wesely Willis saved Christmas", and of course, as he wants to get to third base with my sister sometime within their marriage, he would, and I'd be all BAHHAHAHAHAH and he'd be all *sigh*, and be obliged, fived minutes later, to tell it again, and I'd laugh like a moron.
I mean, what he looks like isn't terribly important to ME, and she's my little sister and will do as she's told.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-12-10 12:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't Eric Clapton sing that?
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-10 12:48:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not bosh
oh well
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-10 12:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Quint, you fail to grasp the meaning of my message. It's all about knowing one's place you see. If you love the woman then you should be there to massage the chaps ballsack as he explodes inside her to plant the seeds of the children they will lovingly care for! Afterwards though you should totally hit on his sister though. And his cousin. And any other girl you meet on your way to her. THAT is the message.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-10 11:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2007-12-10 11:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-10 06:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the thing.
For a guy to cheat on a lady requires 3 conditions to come into effect at the same time.
1) He must be of a mind to consider dipping his wick into a lady other than the one he is with.
2) There has to be a lady in his vicinity with whom he considers the prospect of wick-dipping delightful.
3) She has to be receptive to his requests to dip aforementioned wick in her aparatus.
A lady, on the other hand, can be anywhere, anytime and in any state of mind when suddenly she could be confronted with the oppurtunity to have sex with a dude. That's really only one condition that is a binary decision which, in theory, will occur far more frequently.
--
Berty, you hit the nail on the head. That is why men have EVERY RIGHT to be jealous of their girlfriends/wives being around other guys, but women should never be jealous. It is all in the statistics and they favour the women.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-12-10 10:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kill them both.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-12-10 10:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not Bosh. Sorry man.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-10 10:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
:(
That's my biggest fear.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-10 09:41:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm going to have to say no, unfortunately, not at all. http://stuff.ubersite.com/9439509985983980/1/bart_coffee.jpg
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-10 09:15:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-09 22:26:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know how this sort of thing is. As surprising as it is, I too have been in failing relationships, and it wasn't until I was like 25 that I met Molly Ringwald and got married. Anyways, I have this younger sister, and she's getting old (27 now) and is in horrible need of dating and getting married and not prospectively living with me. She's 6'2 and was a model for Aveda or something.
I have an opening for friday night if you'd like me to pencil her in.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-10 06:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the thing.
For a guy to cheat on a lady requires 3 conditions to come into effect at the same time.
1) He must be of a mind to consider dipping his wick into a lady other than the one he is with.
2) There has to be a lady in his vicinity with whom he considers the prospect of wick-dipping delightful.
3) She has to be receptive to his requests to dip aforementioned wick in her aparatus.
A lady, on the other hand, can be anywhere, anytime and in any state of mind when suddenly she could be confronted with the oppurtunity to have sex with a dude. That's really only one condition that is a binary decision which, in theory, will occur far more frequently.
I suppose my point is that one should be ready for this sort of eventuality. If she has chosen to 'go steady' with this other chap rather than you then it is for the simple reason that she prefers him to you. Perhaps he doesn't have such an obsession with the word 'Bosh', but whatever it is then perhaps this is a good oppurtunity to look at yourself and your life.
If after reflection you can comfortably say that you are happy with yourself and your life then you know that the problem was with your compatability with the personality of the woman you chose to fuck. All people are different though and perhaps the next one will prove more suitable.
The important thing is to carry on propositioning women wherever you find them.
We shall go on to the end, we shall proposition them in France,
we shall proposition them on the seas and oceans,
we shall proposition them with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall proposition them on our Island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall proposition them on the beaches,
we shall proposition them on the landing grounds,
we shall proposition them in the fields and in the streets,
we shall proposition them in the hills;
we shall never surrender.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-12-10 00:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It wasn't going to work out anyway. That bitch was such a slut, it was like throwing a sausage down a hallway every time I fucked her in the ass.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and most of them don't smell like that rancid crack whore.
Good luck.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-09 22:26:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know how this sort of thing is. As surprising as it is, I too have been in failing relationships, and it wasn't until I was like 25 that I met Molly Ringwald and got married. Anyways, I have this younger sister, and she's getting old (27 now) and is in horrible need of dating and getting married and not prospectively living with me. She's 6'2 and was a model for Aveda or something.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-09 22:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what a dirty cunt
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-09 18:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ha ha
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-12-09 17:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
then he's an ugly cunt
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-09 17:24:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-12-09 12:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There will be others, and some of them will be very bosh indeed.
---
what if that isn't true?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-12-09 16:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Happy Break Up Song"
Hello dear there somthin' on my mind
There somethin' between us I can't find
Can you please please show me the light
Because with you I refuse to fight
It's cause you have a new girlfriend
She gives you better head then me
It's cause that guy that you hide
I heard he can make you scream
I guess I'm a shmo
You have better people to fuck than me
I guess that I'm the jerk
That lets you fuck who ever you please
We used to have such good times
You lay before me as I tell you my mind
I listen as you talk about some girl
You said one day she'll be your wife
I guess I'm a shmo
You have better people to fuck than me
I guess that I'm the jerk
That lets you fuck who ever you please
By the way Bitch! You kiss my god damn ass
Eat shit and die you dirty fuckin' slut
Fuck off you stupid fuckin' cunt
I hope you choke on toxicshock
You fuckin' Douchebag
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-12-09 14:30:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
story of my life.
you get used to it.
it turns you into a cynical uncaring bastard.
but you get used to it.
you've got your arms up around yourself
she's got her arms around someone else
and you get used to it
you bleed when she stares right through you
but you will get used to it
lets just be friends.
better yet, let's not be enemies
just walk away
you'll get used to it
have a nice day, sunshine
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-12-09 14:05:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick his teeth in, Boshman
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2007-12-09 12:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
(Sorry)
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2007-12-09 12:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It was Earl Scruggs, wasn't it?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-12-09 12:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There will be others, and some of them will be very bosh indeed.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-12-09 09:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry it didn't work out for you. If it would make you feel better I'd tell you that "you are better than those skank/stank ass hoes." I'd say someother shit too but it's really not important. What is important and I mean really important is that you realize that all women really want to undermine all men. By doing all this boo hooing that is inherent with crappy love poetry you are actually scoring one for the vage side. Which isn't terrible and isn't going to be the fall of man by anymeans. It's just setting the hook in a bit deeper.
Here's what you do mother fucker:
Go up to the lil' lady and in your best John Wayne impersonation say- "Well hello little lady. I think you know why I came here today and I aim to take it." Do not faulter or show one sign of anything but unadulterated cock. You are the cock personofied. Stick with me.
Now you take that woman, gently but firmly, by the hair and turn your head as to not make eye contact. Just as if you were mabey taking the dog for a walk or something even more mundane like wiping your ass. OHHHH and you must stomp over to her in your large but neat looking stetson boots. Now as your walking here out the door you look her deeply in the eyes, still concentrating on being cock personafied, and you say in your normal tone of voice "Let's go make ass patties by the swing set." Then you kiss her. Deep and Hard.
VOILA......
That's what all women want...
And a hard cock....
Trust me......
Actually please don't do that.....
"they're attractive and they punish you for being attracted"
Mr Gone
The Maxx
I probably fucked that quote up but the meaning is still preserved.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-09 09:20:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-12-09 09:02:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and the angels are dining in hell.
----------
Well of course they are. It's free pizza and beer night in purgatory.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-12-09 08:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-09 07:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-12-09 05:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, thats not Bosh
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-09 07:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-12-09 05:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, thats not Bosh
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-12-09 06:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not bosh at all........
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-12-09 06:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Go spam her Facebook.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-09 06:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-12-09 05:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, thats not Bosh
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-12-09 05:30:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
assuming this is the truth, i know how you feel. if its not the truth, i probably still know how you feel just because mine goes a little bit of both ways.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-12-09 04:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Would 'no fuck' have been a better title?
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-12-09 03:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scheiß und Dreck
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-09 03:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-08 23:46:14 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you like me to kill her?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-12-09 02:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
gabbly?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-09 02:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you like me to kill her?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-12-09 02:45:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i got nothing
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-12-09 02:41:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why not post over it? I won't tell anyone about it.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-12-09 02:38:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd regret this too.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-12-09 02:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i already regret this