Prologue: Only The Guilty Choke...Eh ChaosJester, will this do? (399 hits)
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Submitted by BillyGoat (View user info) at 2007-12-11 19:25:03 EST
I have come up with a prologue to my previous story: Only The Guilty Choke [http://www.ubersite.com/m/113478].In response to ChaosJester's comment: http://www.ubersite.com/m/113478#2594048
Hopefully, this helps flesh things out, so to speak.
Se here goes...
**
Sipho takes a break from hammering the block of wood with his miniature pick axe. He wipes the sweat from his brow and in doing so gets a whiff of the BO rising from his raised arm. He turns his nose up a bit in disgust. He had been too busy to wash to day. He thinks about going to the river for a late dip, but it's already dark and the last thing he wants is to be travelling alone especially with pockets of the dissidents still hiding in the bush.
He surveys his room of figurines. All beautifully finished wood sculptures, of animals, gargoils and mythical apparitions. He is a fine craftsman but he only realised this after his last friend had deserted him.
He's the last of the bachelors in the village and he finds himself increasingly isolated. None of the other males are his age. Most are children really and the hierarchical system in the village means he's not quite old enough to sit and converse with the elders. He knows he is not an ugly fella and has plenty of charm, yet there is something the women of the village find off putting about him. Where a girl might join some fellas out herding cattle, he's usually alone. Where there is a party (idili), he's usually last to be invited....there's just something about him and thoughts like these send him into a rage. More often than not he finds himself back in his hut, working with his lumps of wood.
Lately his only friend has been Nomathemba, a widow whose husband perished in the battle against the Nguni's. He visits her late at night, after the smoke from the huts has cleared, indicating that the villagers have turned in. Often they end up chatting about life, their desires and fears and their friendship has gone exponentially over the past months. There has between a growing connection between them and Sipho knows that the death of her husband and Nomathemba's isolation are a sure sign that the ancestors want them to be together.
Presently, he puts his tools away and waits for the smoke to clear.
**
In another part of the village, Nomathemba has finished clearing up the dishes from the evening meal. She has tucked little Philani into bed - where he sleeps on the other side of the hut. She sits gazing at the stars through the tiny square opening next to her. Her eyes drift- as they always do- to the spear and shield that the chief returned to her after her husband had passed. The knowledge that those 2 ornaments had failed to protect her husband generate a deep sense of sorrow within her and it's not long before the familiar tears are streaming down her face.
She cries softly. Her arms folded below her bust and rocking gently in the still air. Each whimper is crying out for the husband that was taken away at such a young age, a gentle sound pleading for his return, yearning for his love. Asking why history can never be unravelled. She's heart broken, clad in black, with no one to console her. Her refusal to marry her brother in law -as is tradition- has left her isolated from the elders who would have offered support in these trying times. Among the women, she is as a selfish, self centred bitch who thinks too high of her self to ever marry again and they loath her with a passion.
The man are appalled by her and all she represents. None of them talk to her, let alone look at her, making her feel ugly and worthless.
It's only when she recalls and sings the songs of her late husband that the tears dry up and the echo of her own voice calms her down.
When she has hit a steady rhythm she drifts back to thoughts of Sipho and how he momentarily relieves her of her loneliness.
*
Philani's eyes are wide open and all he can see is the rocking shadow of his mother on the blank wall that he is facing. He can hear her sing the songs that his dad sang to her. He loves those songs and each night he tries to stay awake that little bit longer so he can hear her sweet voice echo in the round hut. In his head he is singing along and sometimes he will lead, just like his dad did before he died. Today, the melodies are particularly good and the inner singer in him wants to burst out and chant along. But he can't because such behaviour wouldn't be appropriate. He is old enough to realise that these songs are weighed down by deep sorrow and are a way for his mother to recuperate from such a tragic event.
He hushes the voice in his head and forces himself into a light sleep.
*
The coast is clear. Sipho makes his way to Nomathemba's hut. He is barefooted, so not to make a sound. He has a gift for her, a small figure depicting a mother and son grinding maize together. He had been working on it for a long time and had promised Nomathemba that he'd finish it soon.
The journey is short and soon he is knocking on her door. It's not long before they are discussing the day, Sipho recalling how he spent his day weeding his small patch of land, so that the undergrowth wouldn't interfere with his maize crop. He speaks fast, telling her how his crop has been better this year due to the abundant rains and how the ancestors will bless him with a bumper harvest come the dry season. His eyes are fixed on her and hers on him. Her eyebrows are raised slightly and she makes these funny movements with her mouth. Each time she shifts, he feels excited, so he tries to calm himself down by speaking more slowly and taking in deeper breaths.
He continues, divulging more of his day and never in one instance does he take his eyes off her. Occasionally he will look away, when he senses that his staring is making her uncomfortable, but for most of the time she lets him carry on merrily.
He's in heaven. The ancestors can't be wrong.
Her day, she tells him, has been mundane as usual, she spent most of it in the fields and in her little orchard, picking the last of the fruit which she hopes to sell to passer by. She painfully recounts how none of the other women in the village bothered to invite her to a wedding in a nearby village.She doesn't have to say why she wasn't invited. It's a recurring theme in her life and she has learnt to deal with it by shrugging her shoulders and carrying on with life. But girls will be girls and like most girls her emotions are always on edge. And she begins to cry.
Sipho tries to console her buy giving her the gift, whilst wiping the tears with the other hand. He moves closer to console her, resting her head onto his shoulder and rocking her as if she were a baby. He can feel her heart thumbing against his and he can sense the ancestors egging him on to do something.
Surely today is the day he shows her how much he cares for her.
Gently he pulls her hair and looks deeply in her eyes. He tries to lean in even more so that the weight of his body and her angle will push her back gently to the floor.
There is a look of trepidation in Nomathemba's eyes as she realises what's about to happen. Her pupils are dilated and her mouth is agape but the shock of the moment is too much for her to utter a word. She tries to scream, but nothing comes out, instead her attempt is blocked by Sipho's palm that now completely covers her mouth and part of her nose. He shushes her, telling her that this had always been their destiny. His head is cocked towards the spear and shield to add gravitas to the point that his making.
Nomathemba tries to shrug his body off him but its all in vein, as her momentum is already directed to the floor.
She hits the ground hard and the fall causes her jaw to clench, biting hard into Sipho's hand. His low pitched scream is lost in walls of the hut. The pain and the rage in him propel him to bear his full weight on her and pin her down.
**
The scream rouses Philani from his sleep. His eyes are met by what seems to be dancing shadows on the wall. He knows there is something wrong but he is too terrified to turn around lest it be the apparitions that have finally come to take him away as his mother always warned. He shuts his eyes tightly trying to block the images. But then he hears the familiar tones of Sipho. He doesn't know what to do and he is too small to confront him, so he pretends to sleep, whilst tears pool in his eyelids.
He's awake through the whole episode as his mother is raped. Only when Sipho leaves does he turn around to find his mother crying silently with wooden figurine in her hands.
He nearly trips by the door step as he frantically rushes to his uncle's house to tell him whats happened
**
Early the following morning a group of 15 men approach Sipho's hut and 5 of them go in.There is a kerfuffle and Sipho stumbles outside only to be met by Philani and the rest of the men.
User Reviews
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-12-13 06:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why the fuck isnt this post about the cubs? the next time this combination of title and author arises, there'd better be something about baseball.
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-12 16:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Woo! the Jester approves.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-12 13:23:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I daresay CJs head has now swollen to the size of a small country. Bless.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-12 13:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good characterization...check.
Serious thought put into a story/post...check.
Rape...check.
My name in the title...megacheck.
+2 for you.
Still, the only thing here is that you've got some sentence fragments and typos that made this a bit difficult to fall into. I hate saying this 'cause I'm just as guilty of it as the next fellow, but try to proofread a bit more before you post.
Also, this made me laugh: "More often than not he finds himself back in his hut, working with his lumps of wood."
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-12 12:16:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
got rape?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-12 09:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-12 06:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You are Hurt, by what, might i ask. could it be the Sun.
see i can do it too. damn it that comedy award is long overdue.
keep waiting, I'm sure it'll arrive annnny day now.
poofter
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-12 06:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You are Hurt, by what, might i ask. could it be the Sun.
see i can do it too. damn it that comedy award is long overdue.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-12 05:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-12 10:57:16 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
the jokes be so complicated. me no get. me sorry.i'm hurt
===============
Wrong, I'm Hurt! (Another joke).
Don't worry, you'll get it eventually Goaty.
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-12 05:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the jokes be so complicated. me no get. me sorry.i'm hurt
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-12 05:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-12 10:39:04 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
His criticism was valid enough for me to take action.I am not desperate at all and correct me if i'm wrong, but,aren't 80% of people on this site weird in some way or the other?
====================
It was a joke, dipshit.
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-12 05:39:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
His criticism was valid enough for me to take action.I am not desperate at all and correct me if i'm wrong, but,aren't 80% of people on this site weird in some way or the other?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-12 09:21:20 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
You took advice from that bald weirdo? You must be desperate!
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-12-12 05:32:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-12 04:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You took advice from that bald weirdo? You must be desperate!
-----
He's right. That idiot can't write for shit.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-12 04:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You took advice from that bald weirdo? You must be desperate!
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-12 03:52:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't take any notice of grasping emo-hacks on the internet.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-12 03:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2007-12-12 00:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Where did you come from little fella?
...You want a peeeeanut? Hmm? *lunges to try and catch him*
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-11 22:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needed more choke and less guilty.
Like this:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=w3ttUWeaeTA&feature=related
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-11 21:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-12-11 20:29:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate everyone today