Would you like your milk in a bag? (825 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.18 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FLAK <yo yo mama> (View user info) at 2007-12-13 12:25:30 EST
"Would you like your milk in a bag, sir?" asked the zit-faced young man as the sweaty gallon of milk came sliding down the platform toward him, pitched from the hands of the equally pockmarked but markedly more rotund cashier.
I thought for a moment and then asked, "What's your opinion on the subject?" I'd been asked this question a countless number of times and I had always wondered why.
"I dunno," answered the bag boy as he glanced at his portly counterpart, looking for some sort of cerebral support that was sadly lacking. "Some people like their milk in a bag and some don't, I guess."
"Well then, by all means, bag my milk, son!" I said using my most authoritative, General George S. Patton tone.
It seems that the question popped up a year or two ago as if the old standard, "paper or plastic?" just wasn't cutting it anymore. Perhaps some grocery marketing genius decided to breathe new life into the check-out process by adding an additional question.
But why?
The "paper or plastic" question obviously has its merits. The more environmentally-wary consumer can have the option to leave the store with the self-righteous knowledge that they have chosen bio-degradable paper. Selfish and notably cheap bastards, such as me, can opt for earth-choking plastic to be used as bathroom trashcan liners, dog shit picker uppers, and impromptu lunch bags.
But who cares if their fucking milk is in a bag?
Perhaps the 'milk in a bag' crowd is concerned about possibility that the their milk might spill in the car. They see the bag as a sort of milk condom. If the integrity of the jug or carton is breached, perhaps the bag would contain the spill. I have personally had a gallon of milk spill in my car, running under the seats and soaking my trunk. Even after what I thought was a thorough cleaning, a few days in the Missouri summer heat and my car smelled like a rolling ass wagon. The problem with this line of reasoning is that these bags will contain less fluid than a gas-station rubber. They are always riddled with tiny holes and are certainly not sealed at the top.
Then it dawned on me that the store might be giving the egocentric plastic bag users an opportunity for a tiny bit of tree-hugging. Instead of the usual 16 plastic bags, these shoppers have the chance to do their part for the environment by using only 15 bags and leaving their milk disrobed. I guess this makes as much sense as anything else.
Another possible explanation might be that the practice of selling milk in a bag, rather than a carton or jug, has taken off in Canada and the trend is spreading south. Perhaps the question is actually a secret poll to gauge consumer readiness for the advent of bagged milk. There must be a microphone hidden somewhere recording all of the answers. http://www.styledash.com/2007/06/29/say-goodbye-to-your-milk-cartons/
I'm going to file this one as another of life's little mysteries.
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was a waste of my time
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-14 02:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright, I'd better explain this one a bit to people who have never visited the land of opportunity.
When Americans go to buy milk they buy it by the gallon. Not having it in the bags with the other shopping means that your elderly or infirm type can go home, load the bags into their cavernous fridge/freezer and then return to their car to heft an almighty jug of milk, that is around the size of a small hatchback's fuel tank, into it's final resting place.
Flak is only confused by this because he, like many of his countrymen, is ignorant of his own country and asks a bunch of strangers the answers to questions about the grocery store rather than the manager of the grocery store.
Don't be afraid to approach the authority figures in those stores with your pissant questions. You are a customer and as such they are obliged to service your every need as long as you are polite.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-12-13 20:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What happened to the good old days of opening Uber and seeing a JoeyG or Nath post?
Sigh..
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Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:21:34 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
what happened to the good old days when you could suck it straight from the cow's tits?
everyone else used to do that, right? guys?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-12-13 17:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Sure, polythene bags make environmental sense, but will it catch on with consumers? My guess is yes. Milk in a bag is oh-so-astronauty. And if there is one thing that sells stuff it's astronauts. The exception to this rule would be adult diapers, which I imagine will never recover from the PR disaster they took earlier this year."
hahahaa
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-13 17:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE DAYS, I WONDER! YIPEEEE!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-12-13 17:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what happened to the good old days when you could suck it straight from the cow's tits?
everyone else used to do that, right? guys?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice tits.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this post is udderly rediculous
haha
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:01:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right! A cows udders, that's where milk comes from.
I don't comment on much, and I don't read many stories...but why the FUCK do uberers frequently add a fucking stupid image to the end of a post...If it adds to the story thats just grand...but what was the point of the cows udders?
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you aren't from round here are you?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You must be new here, fuckstick.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:01:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right! A cows udders, that's where milk comes from.
I don't comment on much, and I don't read many stories...but why the FUCK do uberers frequently add a fucking stupid image to the end of a post...If it adds to the story thats just grand...but what was the point of the cows udders?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am using your line...
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:37:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bring my own reusable bags
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That question befuddles me as well. And how about the people who choose to put their six pack of beers in plastic bags? What's the nice little cardboard holder for if not to put your fingers through and carry out the door? I needed some pondering distraction this afternoon.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
they don't do this at my store. they employ mentally challenged folks
to bag the groceries. they ask me no questions at all.
DAMMIT. ALL THIS TIME I HAD A CHOICE. THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this post is udderly rediculous
___________________________
har har.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those are not the milkbags I was looking for.
*half-hearted jedi mind trick*
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-12-13 13:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this post is udderly rediculous
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:56:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm milk bags
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It could just be because it's easier to grab a whole lot of tiny plastic-bag handles to carry them around than to have to balance all your groceries in one hand and just a gallon of milk in the other.
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Yes. I try to go bagless whenever I can, so if I have a free hand for the handle, I'll skip it.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hasn't happened here yet
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's interesting.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:39:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
He's not talking about milk sold in bags, he's talking about when they offer to put your carton of milk into a bag when you're checking out.
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sorry, i only read titles :-/
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It could just be because it's easier to grab a whole lot of tiny plastic-bag handles to carry them around than to have to balance all your groceries in one hand and just a gallon of milk in the other.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:35:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well I never. Bagged milk would strike me as being a little too fragile, what with bursting potential and all. They'd be a bugger to swipe and drink on your paper round and all.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
He's not talking about milk sold in bags, he's talking about when they offer to put your carton of milk into a bag when you're checking out.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:33:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have no idea why milk is sold in bags though.
i don't think it has anything to do with the environment since it's been there as long as i can remember.
the reason is probably less garbage to handle than cartons.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i drink milk in a bag, it's great
http://static.flickr.com/51/128389322_be5f183849.jpg
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
proof
http://www.thechaosnode.com/main.php?g2_itemId=1049
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:28:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, mean +1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A. this could have been edited a bit better.
54. everyone know that canadians are fucking retards.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:28:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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