Baseball is Fucked (790 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 0.76 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by mudwhistle (View user info) at 2007-12-13 14:46:11 EST
Well baseball is fucked, not like 'wow that is a shitty sport' but more like 'that sport has been touched in inappropriate ways and never wanted to tell anyone but everyone is about to find out.'
I know...no one cares right? I mean first off no one really bothers with a sport during it's off season and besides its baseball, the most boring activity outside of curling that one could watch on TV. Some might even go as far as to say that if it's not played on an international level it really doesn't count.
But for some of us....well fuck bro...we grew up with the game of baseball as our favorite sport. We played it, our dads and uncles coached it and our grandfathers watched it with us. It was part of the American childhood.
We grew up idolizing players and the grit they showed out on the field. I remember when I was 15 and the Bash Brothers were playing out in Oakland and all we thought was 'those guys are fucking monsters.' But we weren't thinking they were monsters in the sense of how big they were...hell no...we thought they were monsters because they were devouring the game and generally tearing shit up.
We loved that game for the fucking pure skill and desire we thought we were watching out there. We loved that game because we loved coming home dusty on Saturday afternoon for a bologna sandwich after a few pickup innings at the local park. We loved that game for going 16-0 our first year of little league.
We loved that game because it was one of the last great things that held us together as youths. It was something we had in common before we had baggy pants and cocked caps and our hands glued to our crotches in common.
Our game is still great but man it has changed and today, well after today and the coming weeks, I think our game won't be the same for a while.
I'm sure everyone's heard about the steroid issue in baseball, I'm not really sure if it was ever 'really' a secret but it's been generally avoided as a subject for a long time until recent years. That subject is about to become very hot because the Mitchell Report came out today.
Mitchell was hired in '06 by Bud Selig, the comminsioner of baseball (in my opinion a move he likely did to cover his ass...probably not going to work though) to investigate steroids in baseball in light of the independent book put out about Barry Bond's steroid use.
I've only seen or heard early leaks on who is mentioned in the report but it's estimated 60 -80 players deep...probably a lot of names that even the casual fan is aware of. If this is all true this could be devastating in ways we can only guess.
I mean does this combined with Bond's recent trial mean the removal of his HR record?
What will happen to the free agents that might be mentioned in the report?
There are so many questions as to what might happen that I'm sure the real baseball heads could talk it up for hours.
Maybe this could make my CreaLeague idea come to fruition. I mean think about it; one league where there was strict testing and one league where you could shoot fucking whatever you wanted into your body to make you play better. I think it satisfies everyone in the long run.
Those players and fans that loved the old game and the tradition of it can watch the good old MLB and those that wanted the run faster, hit harder chemically created league mutants could watch the CreaLeague.
I need to get an agent on the phone stat!
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-16 11:45:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-15 02:36:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ohgoddammit wrong post hi muddy
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-15 02:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
happpy birthday pumpkin
I happy birthdayed you a the bar but nobody there knew you, wtf? i guess to the untrained ear your username sounds a lot like the mumblings of a surly, almost sick lishy.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-13 17:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BASEBALL IS FUCKED! 69! CELEBRATE! PLUS TWO PLUS TWO!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-12-13 17:23:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Double Whammy for Jeremy Giambi. Jason probably told him steroids would get him on the All Star Ballot, but he still sucks. To know that your brother has the same genetic material in him and he also takes the same drugs you do and then to know you suck and he's one of the game's premier players has to really make you feel like an asshole.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-12-13 17:11:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bud Selig's press conference was fucking buffonery. It just raised my respect for David Stern.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:06:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I sure as fuck didn't read this...but the picture is semi-funny if only because I have a yam leaning 1/3 of the way out of my sphincter, probably touching cotton. I would like to poo at work but they still have the 80-grit type toilet paper and you can bet your bottom fucking dollar that I will hand feed the yam back in its pot before I use that shit. I'm still trying to figure out about the 3 shells.
______________________
This review made me snort the coffee, thanks for that.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
did ya ever see/read Red Dwarf?
Whenever i hear about making players stronger/faster by means of chemical/genetic alteration, I always think about the mutant leagues... and then the "living furniture"... and then the man who got caught having sex with his couch...
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:33:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't care what kind of baggage they have, in fact, the more the better because i get to vocally remind them every time they step up to the plate
McAfee Coliseum -Sec 117 Row #6
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
every resturant is Taco Bell
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
murder death kill
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If they take Bonds' record away, they have to take Aaron's also.
That man, like most in his generation, was on so many amphetamines it would kill a horse.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL at sicosemen.
"He doesn't understand the three shells."
you could always swear at the ticket machine.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do 'roids cause baldness?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
different generation. I was never raised with any love of baseball, and most people my age take it for granted that everyone juices and uses steroids.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh christ, but the whole thing depresses me.
first michael and now this.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 no current d'backs on the list, unless you count announcers (Matt Williams).
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
John Rocker was roid raging? SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:06:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I sure as fuck didn't read this...but the picture is semi-funny if only because I have a yam leaning 1/3 of the way out of my sphincter, probably touching cotton. I would like to poo at work but they still have the 80-grit type toilet paper and you can bet your bottom fucking dollar that I will hand feed the yam back in its pot before I use that shit. I'm still trying to figure out about the 3 shells.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DOOOMED
DOOOOMEEEDD
THEIR ALL DOOOOMEEEEDD
GO BASKETBALL WOO!!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
convert to hockey, it's the light
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:03:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and the full text is here
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/news/mitchell/index.jsp
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-12-13 15:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Marvin Benard
Barry Bonds
Bobby Estalella
Jason Giambi
Jeremy Giambi
Benito Santiago
Gary Sheffield
Randy Velarde
Lenny Dysktra
David Segui
Larry Bigbie
Brian Roberts
Jack Cust
Tim Laker
Josias Manzanillo
Todd Hundley
Mark Carreon
Hal Morris
Matt Franco
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Andy Pettite
Chuck Knoblauch
Jason Grimsley
Greg Zaun
David Justice
F.P. Santangello
Glenallen Hill
Mo Vaughn
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Chris Donnels
Todd Williams
Phil Hiatt
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Cody Mckay
Kent Mercker
Andy Piatt
Miguel Tejada
Jason Christianson
Mike Stanton
Stephen Randolph
Jerry Hairston Jr.
Paul Lo Duca
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Chad Allen
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
Eric Gagne
Mike Bell
Matt Herges
Gary Bennett Jr.
Jim Parque
Brandon Donnelly
Jeff Williams
Howie Clark
Nook Logan
Daniel Naulty
Rick Ankiel
Paul Byrd
Jay Gibbons
Troy Glaus
Jose Guillen
Gary Matthews, Jr.
Scott Schoeneweis
Jose Canseco
Jason Grimsley
Darren Holmes
John Rocker
Ismael Valdez
Matt Williams
Steve Woodard
David Bell
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oquendo and castillo, has anyone heard of these boxers?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
can you just copy the actual list and paste it, Scud?
I started to download but I'm connected into the office from home and shit started to get haywire.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, there's some surprises alright.
I mean, I didn't expect to see Larry Bigbie's name in there.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i agree, not a lot of surprises but it's made the whole thing so mainstream that I expect some real shit to come from it
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:50:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I could email it to you but it would crash your operating system.
That little mouse would get exhausted running on the treadmill.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:50:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do they have those hats you can eat at baseball like homer has on the simpsons?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i don't think there will be a lot of surprises in the list of names, really.
some maybe, but not a lot.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:49:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can get your OWN copy of this 409 page monstrosity by going here: http://sports.yahoo.com/
Left hand side.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
did you have press access or did you find it for the general public?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-13 14:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just went through about 90 pages of the Mitchell Report - I downloaded it as a PDF- and, before it started making me sleepy, it was pretty fascinating stuff.