EI's Tale whoop whoop, its friday! (946 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.26 on 71 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (View user info) at 2007-12-14 05:30:03 EST
Good day to you my fellow uberites. Tis Friday and is time for EMISSION IMPOSSIBLES tale of the week. bwhahahahahaha.
Guess what..........Oh yes its time for EI's swimming adventure!
Guarenteed fun and frolics. This will make you smile,wince or shout how much of a homo I am.
Look at that, three sentances all beginning with G. WOW.
This took place on a windy wednesday.
Usually I have to pay a massive £3 to enjoy my daily swim. On Tuesday however there was a huge cacophony of people wanting to use the sauna and gym. Now im not one to cheat people out of money but I saw an opportunity. A free swim, all my dreams had come true! Boobies,water and me in my trunks all for free!
I darted to the side of the long line of chumps and grappled like an orangutang all the way to the changing rooms, I had done it! I jigged a little jig of delight, hopping from foot to foot and let out little whoops of delight.
I snuck into my favourite changing room, it's the one with an extra long bench, which comes in everso handy. I stand on it when im getting changed, otherwise I keep getting wet.
Anyway. After slipping my trunks and googles on (goggles on my head, Just in case you think I like masturbating into goggles) Actually I havent tried that....yet.
I skipped along merrily into the showers, washed my grubby feet and made my way to hop into the pool.
Hurrah for EI, no one in the pool, I had the freedom of the pool!! Well so I thought.
Suddenly like a bat out of hell the old dear on reception comes storming into the pool area, shouting at me as im doing my doggy paddle. I stood up in the pool and moved my goggles up and listened intently on what she was saying.
'Get out of the pool, some kid has just taken a piss in the shallow end'
I bet it was that damn kid who ate all the smarties.
Anyway Merry Christmas one and all and a big hug for Corn Nugget!
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-18 08:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurrah for me!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-16 11:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-16 11:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-12-14 19:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that is my new favorite gif on this site.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-14 19:36:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK PREDATOR IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER IM GONNA HIT THE GYM TOMORROW WOOOOOOO
_______
Urgh. Seeing Arnie and Carl weathers while drunk made me wanna get ripped, but now in the cold light of sober i'm really not sure i can be arsed...
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-12-14 14:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Boobies,water and me in my trunks all for free!
--------
This made me decide that the ODB song, something about wanting pussy for free, would be way better if he wanted Boobies for free.
Also, which Jack Frost is this from? I haven't seen any of these movies, and it seems clear that I need to see this one, as soon as possible.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-12-14 14:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
: )
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-12-14 14:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always imagine that you speak in precisely the same way in which you write. As such, your posts always make me laugh.
I like you.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-14 12:14:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Been off-site for training all week but had to log in to +2 this glorious swimming tale...I do enjoy them so!
The GIF was entertaining too...
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-14 12:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how come I never see any of these movies
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-12-14 11:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Jack Frost - the good one.
Best part of that movie is when the evil snowman causes a little kid to get his head chopped off by a sled ski, and it gets blamed on one of the other kids in the sledding group. When all the parents come together to be outraged and accuse the kid, you hear one parent say "How could my kid have kille dyour kid? Your kid was bigger than mine!" and in the background, someone says "Heh heh... not anymore!"
Best holiday cheer movie EVAR.
I did not read this post.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-14 11:01:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, 6 pounds a DAY? That's more than it costs for a whole month at the Y-M-C-A. And there, the pee is guaranteed!
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK PREDATOR IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER IM GONNA HIT THE GYM TOMORROW WOOOOOOO
================
Buncha slack-jawed faggots 'round here.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, you actually think it's a big deal that a kid pissed in the pool? I bet any given public pool is like 1/6 little kid pee. They chlorinate that shit for a reason.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:52:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha. Ha. Pee pool. Always fun.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You DO know that's Shlongy in that Snowman suit...right?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Em, I must admit I hate swimming pools because of what kids do in them. I think you are a very brave soul.
Drogo: Happy Birthday for tomorrow darling! Have lots of fun and make a compleate arse of your self it's expected.
-------------
yes...and ME?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I have no idea what you are talking about
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, 6 pounds a DAY? That's more than it costs for a whole month at the Y-M-C-A. And there, the pee is guaranteed!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKgSfo-eZ1I
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-12-14 09:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Em, I must admit I hate swimming pools because of what kids do in them. I think you are a very brave soul.
Drogo: Happy Birthday for tomorrow darling! Have lots of fun and make a compleate arse of your self it's expected.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK PREDATOR IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER IM GONNA HIT THE GYM TOMORROW WOOOOOOO
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WooohOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Its me Birthday tomorrow and my lovely wondeful colleagues just bought me a wonderful big box of pressies. It is cool!
They bought me a pipe!! A fucking pipe. Damn my life is complete. It rules!!
I may actually cry!
-----------
Me and you share a birthday.
Coincidence...? I think not.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
cacophony of people
-----------
WTF?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:34:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A snowman is raping a woman in a shower, obviously.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=n6pXV57R7rM
From "Jack Frost".
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-14 07:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh jesus, what's happening here?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-14 07:41:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You sell your stories short every time you tell them.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh hurty you know if I could I would give you a big hug. Im easy to wind up and so are you, just the way of the world.
Anyway Mexican food awaits! Huzzah, happy brithday drogo old bean!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Humbug.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh please stop getting all your knickers in a twist, its christmas!!!!!!!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So yesterday I was japetus, today I'm TheDoctor, MARVELLOUS.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cheers Orphelia or Hurtbythe sun for your -1 you sad cunts
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A crack pipe?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WooohOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Its me Birthday tomorrow and my lovely wondeful colleagues just bought me a wonderful big box of pressies. It is cool!
They bought me a pipe!! A fucking pipe. Damn my life is complete. It rules!!
I may actually cry!
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Under "new" management.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well im off for my meal soon and to get drunk and probably kiss lots of girls.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you got Oscar banned?
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:33:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 11:30:34 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes master.
=========
Haha, recognise.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:30:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes master.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 11:26:35 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should always give me a 2 rating Orphelia, you know that.
=============
Surely you've learned by now, ratings don't count for shit.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:27:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But it only made me smile. And anyway, you AVOIDED one of my posts entirely.
It took alot of getting over, that did.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should always give me a 2 rating Orphelia, you know that.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:23:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Is this todays camp then?
Damn I missed rorrim.:(
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
umm ok!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 11:16:06 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha you are so easy to wind up, you have a fat face that's all, you could have the body of an adonis for all I know.
==============
Yeah no you're right I'm sitting here in a proper lather.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:16:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha you are so easy to wind up, you have a fat face that's all, you could have the body of an adonis for all I know.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 11:12:50 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
of course you are fatty.
==========
Given that the only camwhores you ever see of me are of my misshapen head, how can you be any kind of judge?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
of course you are fatty.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:54:33 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurty I thihk you should get some exercise, you seem to be getting fat like a chipmunk in every photo i see of you, must be those veggie burgers.
============
Actually I'm in phenomenal shape.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Great the girl who im trying to impress is going without me, well thats a good start.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We are going to some pretentious place with delusions of grandeur. I cant wait. I havent shaved all week and went and got completely pissed last night just so I can make it a special event!!!
I have beer bum today and my arse is going wild!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 06:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh you noes it Orph!!
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is without a doubt the finest post to grace this poor excuse for a website.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Me too Drogo, we are going to a mexican place and I dont mean Mexico. Las Iguanas I think........
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1 hr until my #4 christmas piss up lunch. YAY!
(pulls up chair and gets stove out to make a brew. looks around nods head. Today is a good day to camp)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurty I thihk you should get some exercise, you seem to be getting fat like a chipmunk in every photo i see of you, must be those veggie burgers.
I love swimming but I do get ill from them. Colds and the like.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:53:09 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thrilling isn't exactly the word I'd use... Horrifying more like?
Swimming pools are full of piss and sweat. Disgusting places.
--
Dont forget the fact that you may just happen accross Em in his speedo's. *Shiver*
===========
That would be awful.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thrilling isn't exactly the word I'd use... Horrifying more like?
Swimming pools are full of piss and sweat. Disgusting places.
--
Dont forget the fact that you may just happen accross Em in his speedo's. *Shiver*
I like the fact that you are worried about getting wet, when you are just about to get into a swimming pool.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thrilling isn't exactly the word I'd use... Horrifying more like?
Swimming pools are full of piss and sweat. Disgusting places.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always have windy wednesdays too, Thank god for tuesday curry nights!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought that gif would get uber into the Christmas spirit.
Im off on my christmas jolly this arvo.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:49:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:46:10 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh its just one word FFS.
============
Jesus. I was only saying.
Plus it's just daft when you use a word in completely the wrong way.
I used to do it with conflagration all the time. I looked a right dumbass.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is a weird gpf, ei.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You were meant to be focusing on my thrilling tale.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh its just one word FFS.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:37:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just learnt that word so wanted to use it. Screw the context.
============
Fair enough. Conjures up all sorts of bizarre images of people made out of sound waves though.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just learnt that word so wanted to use it. Screw the context.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-14 05:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
cacophony of people
========
???
Have you seen the longer version of that gif? It's brilliant. Snowman rape!