I Got Wishbones For Christmas (754 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.32 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ltap (View user info) at 2007-12-15 18:31:49 EST
Well this probably sucks as a first post, but whatever.
This morning, I visited my grandmother and she told me that she had something of my grandfather's to give me. I had no idea what it was but she gave me a shoebox, and when I opened it later it turned out to be full of wishbones from what looked like every turkey dinner he'd had for the last 50 years.
This begs the question - what were all those wishbones for? What possible purpose could they have been collected for in such quantity? I challenge you to try and figure out exactly why those wishbones were collected in the first place.
User Reviews
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-15 13:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for bringing this gem back.
Submitted by PMN (user info) at 2008-05-15 13:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 for short
-1 for it could be better
Remove "I had no idea what it was but she gave me a shoebox, and when I opened it later it turned out to be"
It's already implied you didn't know what it is (and even if you did know your reader doesn't). Stating that you opened it later makes me question why (I would have opened right away.) But maybe your grandmother asked you not to? Maybe it was locked? Maybe you were in a hurry? Maybe your mom was there and you didn't want to make her cry?
Replace with "my grandmother gave me a shoebox and asked me not to open it until later. So later that night, I got myself a beer in anticipation of reading love letters, poems or some other sentimental crap (or perhaps valuable baseball cards!) But what I found was a shoebox full of wishbones from what looked liked....."
Your thought statement is also good. However, I'd remove "I challenge you" just simply saying 'what the fuck' (not in those exact words neccessarily) makes us question why someone keep wishbones?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-26 12:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how did I miss this one?
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2008-01-26 12:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PIPE DOWN THERE!
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-01-26 11:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant!
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-26 11:42:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-01-26 11:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:32:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Some of the comments he has left have been pure comedy gold of late.
I bet TheUniter is good in bed.
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I dunno; wit has never been correlated with prowess in my sexperience.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:32:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Some of the comments he has left have been pure comedy gold of late.
I bet TheUniter is good in bed.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Raters' scores are averaged; hence, he really gave you a -1.5
TheUniter is a strange entity here on Uber; he typically appears, makes a quick run down the front page, reviewing and rating everything on it very quickly, causing some users to question whether he's actually reading all those posts. He rarely leaves any comments, but he's been more vocal of late.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bless... TheUniter rates 0.5, 1.5 etc. And he hates everyone. Never leaves a comment. Don't take it personally.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, I think TheUniter hates me more than everyone else combined, he gave me a -2 then came back and gave me a -1 just in case the -2 didn't sink in :P
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:21:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome to Uber.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:20:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-16 00:02:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wish for one thing over and over again. THE WISH POWER WILL BE EXTREME.
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This review made me shoot beer through my nose. +2 for that.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-12-16 15:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to Uber
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2007-12-16 14:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sunday crowds are too nice. Saints aren't playing well. And this was only two paragraphs, come on.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-16 11:25:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-16 11:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-12-16 09:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was moderately interesting and doesn't deserve the -2 I'm leaving. 0 or +1 material here, but you admitted that it was your first post and that's one of the things you're not supposed to do. It's tradition, and you know what you don't do: you don't fuck with tradition. Welcome to Uber.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-12-16 00:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jeanneee's review put me on the floor. I've fallen, and I can't get up. Well obviously I finally got up, with help. "Every senior citizen needs Life Alert."
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-16 00:02:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wish for one thing over and over again. THE WISH POWER WILL BE EXTREME.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-15 22:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-15 20:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Animal bones are good for divining future events. Throw them on the ground and see if they form a picture of something, like an A-bomb detonating over Los Angeles, or your grandmother braining you with a cast iron skillet.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-12-15 21:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I tried that, all I really got was what looked like a llama with 3 legs.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-15 20:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Animal bones are good for divining future events. Throw them on the ground and see if they form a picture of something, like an A-bomb detonating over Los Angeles, or your grandmother braining you with a cast iron skillet.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-15 20:21:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet he collected them in hopes of having one big wishfest.
This post sucked, anyway.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-15 18:40:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They are for when you are hungry, have no food, and "wish" you had some meat.