My mind escapes - poem of control (537 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 0.58 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tj Wilk <no_blank_spaces.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-12-16 16:49:01 EST
Oh and my mind escapes the luminescence of the frost this morning
As the sun trickles down over the mountain and a thousand colours embrace the day
I am left still in cold, eyes heavy with sleep and head in the earth.
What will come of me? How have I met this place?
I dreamt not of deeds but of plain emotions a sharp contrast to my waking life
And yet the two drift together so similarly.
The only difference that grows is my pain wielding consciousness that drives me awake and fills me with such fear that I cannot escape.
Who has left me here?
Was it I all along?
That strove to find this desolate place
That wandered through dreams and stumbled through life.
Only to come to such an unfortunate end.
I cannot feel the pressure of the wind
I cannot feel the kiss of the cold
I have not a feeling to share
All that remains is gathered up around my tiny heart.
And I tremble for this knowing it wont be long now.
And the sky tears open above me
A thousand sounds of fear
A might filled voice cry's out and says
"What is this? Who is there?"
I shout my name and stand up fiercely
"You are not right to disturb my peace!"
The sky pauses and the world shudders
I am thrown to the side onto a stone.
"If this is your peace then I shall let you be free".
And suddenly I feel the bite of the cold
And suddenly I feel the pressure of the wind
And a thousand feelings throw themselves upon me
I had spoken the world has spoken and it is time to wake up.
My waking life returns to me and I realise things aren't that hard
My brain wields the power to control
And emotions are only chemical
To be dissipated my soul.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-19 06:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For fucks sake, stop writing poetry! Poetry is rubbish! You'd be better off communicated by screaming at the sky and hurling your bodily fluids in a random fashion.
Submitted by NapalmFace (user info) at 2007-12-18 13:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-12-17 02:53:59 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
gay off, gaylord
-------------------
Eloquently put, sir.
Poetry auto -2die.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-18 11:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't completely horrible, it had some typos, but mostly I just didn't get it and/or enjoy it.
I'd still say it's worth reading though.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-12-16 21:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
gay off, gaylord
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-16 21:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-16 21:30:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it didn't completely suck.
I did skim it though.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-12-16 18:55:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
O AND MAH MIND ESCAEPS TEH LUMIENSCANC3 OF TEH FROST THIS MORNNG
AS DA SUN TRIKLES DOWN OVAR TEH MOUNTANE AND A THOUSAND COLOURS 3MBRAEC DA DAY
IM LEFT STIL IN COLD AY3S H3AVY WIT SLEP AND HEAD IN TEH AARTH!111!11 LOL WUT WIL COM3 OF ME????!!! OMG LOL HOW HAEV I MET THIS PLAEC??!!!? OMG
I DR3MT NOT OF DEDS BUT OF PLANE 3MOTIONS A SHARP CONTRAST 2 MAH WAKNG LIEF
AND YAT DA TWO DRIFT 2G3TH3R SO SIMILARLY!1!!!1 OMG LOL TEH ONLY DIF3R3NC3 TAHT GROWS IS MAH PANE WEILDNG CONSCIOUSNES TAHT DRIEVS MA AWAEK AND FILS MA WIT SUCH FEAR TAHT I CANOT ESCAEP111! WTF
WHO HAS LEFT ME HER3?!?!??! OMG WTF LOL
WAS IT I AL ALONG???!!! OMG WTF LOL
TAHT STROV3 2 FIND THIS DASOLAET PLAEC
TAHT WANDAR3D THROUGH DR3MS AND STUMBLED THROUGH LIEF1!1!11!1 OMG WTF
ONLY 2 COMA 2 SUCH AN UNFORTUNAET 3ND1!!!111 OMG WTF LOL
I CANOT FEL DA PR3SURE OF DA WIND
I CANOT FEL TEH KIS OF DA COLD
I HAEV NOT A FELNG 2 R
AL TAHT R3MANES IS THEYRE UP AROUND MAH TINY H3ART!!111!11 OMG WTF LOL
AND I TREMBLE FOR THIS KNOWNG IT WONT B LONG NOW!11!!11! OMG
AND TEH SKY TEARS OPAN ABOVA M3
A THOUSAND SOUNDS OF F3AR
A MIGHT FIL3D VOIEC CRYS OUT AND SAYS WUT IS THIS????!???? OMG WTF LOL WHO IS THEIR?!?!???? OMG WTF LOL
I SHOUT MAH NME AND STAND UP FEIRCELY U R NOT RIGHT 2 DISTURB MAH P3AEC!1!! OMG LOL DA SKY PAUSAS AND DA WORLD SHUDARS
IM THROWN 2 DA SIED ON2 A S2NA!!!!1111 WTF
IF THIS IS UR PEAEC THAN I SHAL L3T U B FRE!1!! OMG WTF LOL
AND SUDENLY I FEL TEH BIET OF DA COLD
AND SUD3NLY I FEL TEH PR3SURE OF TEH WIND
AND A THOUSAND FELNGS THROW TH3MSELVAS UPON M3
I HAD SPOKEN TEH WORLD HAS SPOKEN AND IT IS TIEM 2 WAEK UP111! OMG WTF LOL MAH WAKNG LIEF R3TURNS 2 ME AND I R3ALIES THNGS AERNT TAHT HARD MAH BRANE WEILDS TEH POWER 2 CONTROL
AND EMOTIONS R ONLY CH3MICAL
2 B DISIPAETD MAH SU11!!1 OMG WTF LOL
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2007-12-16 18:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is there any scheme for this? Because I can't find it reading it silently.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-16 18:11:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 jealousy points for all.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-16 17:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-12-16 17:39:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good. Pictures are nice. You get the +1 for proper paragraphing and not putting it in the Dirty Humour or Politics categories :P
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-16 16:56:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I like this.
An image at the end of your posts would be nice. I like images and poems.
At least there is no blocky paragraphs :)