A recap of my night in over 38 words. I lost track while counting. (1086 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.53 on 49 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AJ <uberaj.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-12-20 03:55:58 EST
My roommate and I were at the bar tonight, and there is a special at the bar for a Bottomless Cup- $5 all you can drink beer. We got one more round at last call, and this girl in her OR scrubs approached me.
"What's your name?"
"AJ."
She gave me a dismissive look and said, "Nevermind, you have the face of someone I know."
I said, "That's okay, I've got the boy-next-door look and I'll be the first to admit it- What's your name?"
"Sharon."
"Well hi, Sharon. You have the tits of someone I'd like to forget.
THE END
User Reviews
Submitted by Eugene_Luther (user info) at 2008-01-04 08:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hit whore
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-12-22 12:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Silly goose.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-12-21 22:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you apparently have the neck of something ill be eating for christmas lunch
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-12-21 12:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why try to prove yourself to a bunch of geeks hiding behind IP addresses?
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This should be Ubersite's official motto.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:15:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
merry christmas shorty.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 04:36:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do it anyway AJ, everything you touch turns to gold. What's the worst that could happen?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-21 03:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm tempted to do another 'psychology of' post right now, but I don't think it would come out right. :(
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-12-21 00:37:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:13:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shitty alter alert
v
v
v
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:29:17 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
This BeforeEmily chick has a lot of anger.
Let the hate flow through you, young n00bwalker. Strike me down with your -2.
---
Wahahahaha! If you only knew... I know people are always accusing me of being bitchy- I'm just fucking around. Today is my day off and I'm bored and that's the way I like it. I think I'm going to take another nap now.
_______
Emily should take a DIRT NAP. Stupid twat.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-12-20 16:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well said
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:59:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How'd that work out for you, buddy?
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:29:17 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
This BeforeEmily chick has a lot of anger.
Let the hate flow through you, young n00bwalker. Strike me down with your -2.
---
Wahahahaha! If you only knew... I know people are always accusing me of being bitchy- I'm just fucking around. Today is my day off and I'm bored and that's the way I like it. I think I'm going to take another nap now.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:29:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
This BeforeEmily chick has a lot of anger.
Let the hate flow through you, young n00bwalker. Strike me down with your -2.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This morning I left the bar and saw a couple of homeless guys asleep in the doorway. I seriously considered crawling in there with them and being 'little spoon'
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I mean to say, nurses are surely still whores, but not because of their attire. We're attention starved, tired of giving and giving and giving, ahem, if you know what I mean, and getting nothing back. Boy, do we love to spend money, bone out with the doctor in the closet, and pocket narcotics for personal use. Just doin' my part to perpetuate the stereotypes.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:37:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:32:26 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly my point. If you're a nurse you can generally wear whatever the fuck you want, and either way you are certainly allowed to wear them out. The days when nurses were considered whores for wearing their uniform to the grocery store or on the bus are long over.
--------------------------
Not to hear our directors tell it...as I was inferring, our OR personnel get in big trouble if they're caught taking their scrubs off the floor. They're required to change clothes when going in/out in order to maintain strict sanitary conditions. But that only applies to the OR...the other units, as you said, don't make as big a stink about it.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly my point. If you're a nurse you can generally wear whatever the fuck you want, and either way you are certainly allowed to wear them out. The days when nurses were considered whores for wearing their uniform to the grocery store or on the bus are long over.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They may not have been OR scrubs, but were nurses' scrubs at the very least.
The two major hospitals in town are within a half mile of the bar I went to. Judging by the color of the scrubs, I'd say she worked at Mercy. St Luke's uses a maroon color for their nurses.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:14:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For the record, this did happen.
I also got hit in the junk with a miniature wine bottle, but that's another 38+ words that I don't even want to get into right now.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
Oops.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not proving myself to anyone except you here, miss Emily...was just responding to your comment in pique, which was quite blatantly directed at me.
Stating that someone doesn't know what they're talking about implies that you do know about the subject matter at hand, from a logical standpoint.
You are right though in reiterating that it is "just a website", so I'll not waste any more of my time debating on this matter. And I suppose it is possible that the health care regulations in your state are different from my state, although I would think it unlikely. Cheers!
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't know what you're talking about.
===========
The hell I don't. I do clinical and pharmacy work for a hospital system, and most of my family works in medicine, so I'm in medical facilities plenty to know what's allowed and what's not in the different units.
I get your point, assuming the girl in question was wearing normal scrubs, but you certainly have no grounds to accuse me of being ignorant, not knowing my background or work experience. You certainly haven't provided any evidence to indicate that you know what you're talking about.
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No I haven't. Nor should I be required to. The fact that you jumped to defending yourself so quickly is rather pathetic. Calm the fuck down. It's like I always say, "It's just a fucking website." For all you know, I'm not a nurse in California, I'm a fat, hairy post-op pedophile commenting from a Scandinavian high-security prison. Why try to prove yourself to a bunch of geeks hiding behind IP addresses?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:36:59 CST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 08:26:15 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:42:46 CST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 06:39:13 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
She wore her OR scrubs OUTSIDE of the hospital???
Please do tell what hospital she works at so I can make a note never to go there. Any non-third-world hospital has strict sanitary regulations against wearing OR scrubs off unit...
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She could have been a veterinary technician for all you know, or a fucking housekeeper.
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I was giving AJ the benefit of the doubt that he either (a) knew she worked in the OR or (b) knows what OR scrubs look like. You can't get away with wearing the sort of scrubs in an OR that you would at a vet clinic, daycare, etc.
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You don't know what you're talking about.
===========
The hell I don't. I do clinical and pharmacy work for a hospital system, and most of my family works in medicine, so I'm in medical facilities plenty to know what's allowed and what's not in the different units.
I get your point, assuming the girl in question was wearing normal scrubs, but you certainly have no grounds to accuse me of being ignorant, not knowing my background or work experience. You certainly haven't provided any evidence to indicate that you know what you're talking about.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-20 08:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AJ- Still looking for that first piece of trim.
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fuck, it's hilarious when you show your age. It's like watching an unreleased Porky's movie.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 08:26:15 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:42:46 CST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 06:39:13 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
She wore her OR scrubs OUTSIDE of the hospital???
Please do tell what hospital she works at so I can make a note never to go there. Any non-third-world hospital has strict sanitary regulations against wearing OR scrubs off unit...
---
She could have been a veterinary technician for all you know, or a fucking housekeeper.
-----------------
I was giving AJ the benefit of the doubt that he either (a) knew she worked in the OR or (b) knows what OR scrubs look like. You can't get away with wearing the sort of scrubs in an OR that you would at a vet clinic, daycare, etc.
---
You don't know what you're talking about.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:42:46 CST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 06:39:13 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
She wore her OR scrubs OUTSIDE of the hospital???
Please do tell what hospital she works at so I can make a note never to go there. Any non-third-world hospital has strict sanitary regulations against wearing OR scrubs off unit...
---
She could have been a veterinary technician for all you know, or a fucking housekeeper.
-----------------
I was giving AJ the benefit of the doubt that he either (a) knew she worked in the OR or (b) knows what OR scrubs look like. You can't get away with wearing the sort of scrubs in an OR that you would at a vet clinic, daycare, etc.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:09:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 06:39:13 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
She wore her OR scrubs OUTSIDE of the hospital???
Please do tell what hospital she works at so I can make a note never to go there. Any non-third-world hospital has strict sanitary regulations against wearing OR scrubs off unit...
---
She could have been a veterinary technician for all you know, or a fucking housekeeper.
Your story sucks either way.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
She wore her OR scrubs OUTSIDE of the hospital???
Please do tell what hospital she works at so I can make a note never to go there. Any non-third-world hospital has strict sanitary regulations against wearing OR scrubs off unit...
Funny shit, btw.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i chuckled I suppose. i always enjoyed the all you can drink. there's a place in lacross that does that.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-20 08:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-12-20 08:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
are you old enough to drink?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-20 08:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AJ- Still looking for that first piece of trim.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-20 07:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're so stupid
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 07:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Had you closed your quotation this would've been a +2.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-20 06:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you caught me at the right time and this made me crack up hysterically.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-20 06:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Netherlands? Isn't that educated for Dutch?
I've BEEN there Bran Flakes. I am already charmed by your cultural superiority.
Nobody approached me though. Well... apart from 60 or so people trying to sell me heroin and crack cocaine.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-12-20 05:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Berty, go visit the Netherlands and hang out in our coffeeshops, you'll be in for a surprise.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-20 04:52:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't really know you AJ, not personally, but I've heard stories. We've all heard stories.
Also people don't walk up to other people in bars unless it is a student bar, which it may have been. Anyway, all this talk of bars is mythical. I've been to bars in America and they're just as insular, hostile and appalling as bars here.
Fucken bars. I wish we had an opium culture, that'd be loads more civilised. We'd all go into these places, they'd make you take your shoes off and it'd be just wall to wall cushions and drapes everywhere. A combination of scared and bored looking women in karate costumes would circulate the room with trays.
A much more civilised atmosphere and far more realistic to talk to other people in.
Anyway AJ, in the unlikely event that for once in your life you are not lying then she almost certainly would not have heard you. She may have heard "Suger... really...tits...forget" but then some friend or other would have grabbed her and said something like "Oh my Gawd!" and that would be that. The whole incident forgotton and off she goes to speak with friends she can't hear untill she lapses into a hyper stressed, catatonic state in the corner obsessing over her deadlines and work schedules.
Perhaps later on she'll take a break from trying to remember ailments of the renal system to feel lonely and sorry for herself and in that moment of weakness recall your words about her useless tits and fall into bed with some peer or other. I mean really, that's the only way one can get an education in this day and age and make anything stick.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-12-20 04:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i got a great one for ya...
You know how the big toe is the captain of the toes, but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's a power struggle and the second toe assumes control of the foot. It's like a coup de toe!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-12-20 04:38:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that would be a great joke in bad santa 2: The liver's end.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-20 04:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh you did not.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2007-12-20 04:31:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Genius
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-12-20 04:29:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You told her good
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 04:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tell you what, go and read my wonderful post and you will feel as hungry as a mouse!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-12-20 03:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm all out of pretzel rods yet I'm still so hungry.