Shopping in the name of (1182 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 68 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2007-12-20 09:44:15 EST
You shuffle along the street carrying more bags than you thought possible. Occasionally you will stop and try to move one bag to the other hand to try and give each hand a brief moment of respite; sadly the whole thing isn't working. You see her dart into yet another clothing shop, one that you are sure you have been in a few hours previously. You follow dutifully hoping that you will get one of the Scooby snacks for your good behaviour.
She immediately goes to a certain rack of dresses and grabs something. You now remember this shop. Off she goes to the dressing room and you shuffle up to wait outside with the other waifs and strays. You put down the bags and start flexing your hands, as you do this you meet the eyes of the other poor fellows in the waste land that is the outside of a women's dressing room. You nod at each other and look down at each others bags. An unspoken bonding happens as you all acknowledge that you have been good little boys today.
One bloke stands apart though. He has no bags between his legs. You almost hear the sharp intake of breath from the gathered brothers. Sorrow fills us as we shake our heads. This poor bastard obviously over slept so has only just begun his day.
She steps out from behind the curtain and catches my eye. Having practised all day you look her up and down and smile before saying:
"Wow that looks great."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah definitely." (Smile)
She goes back into the curtain and the brothers nod their heads. They know the routine. It's getting on in the day, the pubs have opened, and it's time to say the proper thing. No more is it the casual:
"You look nice." Or "Yeah that looks good on you."
It's time for the big guns to come out. It's time for the exclamation of 'Wow' and to actually make it sound like a surprised 'Wow' too. If at this stage you come out with a whimper or an exclamation that isn't quite enthusiastic enough it will mean hours of more shopping. Also if your exclamation is too enthusiastic it will mean hours of more shopping. It really is a very fine balance.
You stand and hope that you got it right. It won't take long to find out. After a brilliant comment like that one of two things will happen. She will either a) go straight to the checkout and let you pay for it, so proving the day is at an end and letting you run off to the pub. Or b) she will leave it behind with a casual 'I'm still not sure', a complete and utter failure.
All your new found brothers shuffle their feet waiting for her reaction. They are willing her to go with option a). They don't know you but they will be happy in the knowledge that one of them escaped.
She exits carrying the dress. She walks past the rail outside where she can hang it up. You grab your bags in a rush, it isn't quite over yet, she could just be hanging back on it proper rail. She walks to the check out.
You smile.
You look back at your brothers and they nod their heads and smile back.
You hand over your card and talk to her to keep her distracted, making sure she doesn't have time to look around at the other clothes in the shop. You grab your card and your bags and shoo her towards the exit.
Outside you put your card and wallet away. You can almost taste the first pint going down your throat.
You pick up the bags and turn in the direction of the car.
Hmm a nice pint.
And then it happens. The little bubble of cloud in your head bursts completely. You hear the words that threaten to tip you over into Homicidal.
"I just want to go to......."
You look at her and she stares back as if she was a virgin all over again.
"What?"
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-12-31 05:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't relate to this when I first read it, but I used it as a kind of advice today, and my god, was it useful.
And here I thought it was just ridiculous.
Curb your Enthusiasm mothafucka!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-12-22 12:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel sorry for the bloke with no bag between his legs.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Barack Obama mothafucka'!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-20 19:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-12-20 16:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What Anansie said. It makes me queasy when I hear about wives/girlfriends "rewarding" guys with sex. To withhold and exploit sex in a relationship like that is disgusting, and the women who do it aren't any different than a prostitute. They're just a prostitute who's found a full-time gig with one guy. Well, one as far as the guy knows.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember shopping with a guy who got asked to leave the store, apparantly he looked shady when they found him lurking around the changing areas.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:03:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guys get blow jobs, we get shopping days. It seems fair, but we probably enjoy the bj's a lot fucking more than they enjoy carrying our purse.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:23:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've got a few options here...
A) You start smoking pot. Pot makes everything fun. I smoke pot and then go shopping with her and I'm everyone's best friend. I'm talking the sales girls, the other customers...hell I'll even go out and sit down on the 'Dead Peckers Bench' and let the old guys regale me with stories of waiting on women.
========================
I tried this last time I got dragged along. I get a call, "Blah blah blah, come to the mall with me."
I take the phone away from my face and groan, when the light in my head flickers on. Perfect! "All right, give me like ten minutes."
It made it all so much more bearable.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:21:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Merry Christmas, darling.
Hope you enjoyed your birthday, as well. I think I drunk commented you somewhere.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:30:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have yet to do this to a man. i feel deprived of a basic female right.
--
You mean you came to England and none of those bastards took you out shopping? Christ you missed out on the joy of queueing for no reason.
See I told you you should have come down to Devon Inion
-------
no, i'm just saying i've never used a man in tow as a bag holder. i simply cannot shop for the required period of time it takes to accumulate a bulldozer's worth of clothing/shoes/makeup/jewelry/hair stuff.
------------------------------------
I will show you the way little one
________________________
No! I will not let you convert ANOTHER one!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:31:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shlongy has a fair point. i'd much prefer funding to company. i'm already upset if i'm shopping, let alone shopping with an audience.
--
Excellent. The ring is in the post, just reply with a yes and you shall receive your first pay cheque. Further cheques will arrive monthly. The rest we can do over the internet
I offer the perfect marriage
------
convert to dollars before you mail it, that way it looks like i'm getting twice the amount.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:30:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have yet to do this to a man. i feel deprived of a basic female right.
--
You mean you came to England and none of those bastards took you out shopping? Christ you missed out on the joy of queueing for no reason.
See I told you you should have come down to Devon Inion
-------
no, i'm just saying i've never used a man in tow as a bag holder. i simply cannot shop for the required period of time it takes to accumulate a bulldozer's worth of clothing/shoes/makeup/jewelry/hair stuff.
------------------------------------
I will show you the way little one
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:11:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know what you mean.
One of my ex-girlfriends was shopping, and had chosen 3 different dresses to try on in the changing rooms (back when you could take more than 1 item in case you're a thieving bastard)
I didn't see which changing room she went into, but I was hovering when I heard her ask "what do you think of this?" I fucking SWEAR that her voice had come from the cubicle on the left, but when I stuck my head around the curtain I was confronted by an old lady in a saggy brown bra.
I'm not sure who screamed louder, me or her.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shlongy has a fair point. i'd much prefer funding to company. i'm already upset if i'm shopping, let alone shopping with an audience.
--
Excellent. The ring is in the post, just reply with a yes and you shall receive your first pay cheque. Further cheques will arrive monthly. The rest we can do over the internet
I offer the perfect marriage
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I seriously have only been to the mall or any other store once in the last year, except for groceries.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:36:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about online shopping?
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:34:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you not find that your special metal underwear chaffs your 'wee fella' and that your nuts sweat profusely?
--
Its fur lined. So no chaffing, just fucking warm. Mind you it enabled me to come up with a new chat up line. Here try it:
*Cogh cough*
"Um Hi! Do you want to come back to mine and try out some boil in the bag?"
I have yet to see it work of course
______
Oh it will work, what sane woman could resist such a silver tongue and the promise of slobbering on some sweaty, smelly sacks....... (which happens to be the name of a beautiful love song)
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(ahem)
Anansie is officially the coolest boy/girl EVAR!
...
That is all.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shlongy has a fair point. i'd much prefer funding to company. i'm already upset if i'm shopping, let alone shopping with an audience.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have yet to do this to a man. i feel deprived of a basic female right.
--
You mean you came to England and none of those bastards took you out shopping? Christ you missed out on the joy of queueing for no reason.
See I told you you should have come down to Devon Inion
-------
no, i'm just saying i've never used a man in tow as a bag holder. i simply cannot shop for the required period of time it takes to accumulate a bulldozer's worth of clothing/shoes/makeup/jewelry/hair stuff.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the hell would anyone ever go "shopping" with their wife, girlfriend...hell with anyone else?
It's fucking stupid. I laugh at assholes who feel like they have to do this.
Just give them a couple hundred bucks and send them on their way. Encourage them to take all day...overnight if they have to.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you not find that your special metal underwear chaffs your 'wee fella' and that your nuts sweat profusely?
--
Its fur lined. So no chaffing, just fucking warm. Mind you it enabled me to come up with a new chat up line. Here try it:
*Cogh cough*
"Um Hi! Do you want to come back to mine and try out some boil in the bag?"
I have yet to see it work of course.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you not find that your special metal underwear chaffs your 'wee fella' and that your nuts sweat profusely? Or do I look to deeply into things....
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have yet to do this to a man. i feel deprived of a basic female right.
--
You mean you came to England and none of those bastards took you out shopping? Christ you missed out on the joy of queueing for no reason.
See I told you you should have come down to Devon Inion
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have yet to do this to a man. i feel deprived of a basic female right.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:14:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That depends.... are they male? ;-)
--
Well I am. But I was hoping that you would send an email to the female ones to let them know the 'Rules' I will of course forward it to the males but I will be wearing my special metallic underwear against them
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That depends.... are they male? ;-)
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7150200.stm
--
Simple answer to that Muddy is YES! I think it empowers them a lot and should be encouraged.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:10:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Xmas, its a great time for shoplifting and housebreaking... oh and the odd drunken brawl and having sexual encounters with repulsive workmates... oh the joy!!
--
Could you possibly send an email to a few of my work collegues letting them in on the latter part of your comment?
Please :-)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7150200.stm
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Xmas, its a great time for shoplifting and housebreaking... oh and the odd drunken brawl and having sexual encounters with repulsive workmates... oh the joy!!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:06:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:55:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it. The few times I've taken a man with me to shop, it was annoying.
I suppose that women pretend to be oblivious if you are buying them stuff.
--
What I never understood is the whole getting in a tantrum with a bloke whilst shopping. It sucks. It just makes me walk back to the car dump the bags and bugger off to the pub, leaving her even more pissed off. Yet still it comes down to my fault.
Never Again!! I refuse!
I feel like burning my bra and stuff to get liberated, but it's my new training bra and I'm fucked if I'm burning that. I will have to ask the office temp if I can burn hers, and watch as she takes it off of course.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyway peeps i have to leave work soon, So if i dont converse with some of you punks again before christmas, merry christmas and just fucking be happy ok.
Ciao you fruity bastards.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it. The few times I've taken a man with me to shop, it was annoying.
I suppose that women pretend to be oblivious if you are buying them stuff.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie you obviously havent seen my latest thriller of a post then.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rectified.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you ANANSIE, damn you for coming in and acting like a sensible woman and stealing the thunder from my awesome review.
Damn you to hell, Boy.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anansie you obviously havent seen my latest thriller of a post then.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are no winners on the internet, silly.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate the fact you hate christmas, i win.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate Christmas.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sense is what scares me drogo :(
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anansie speaks sense.
I fell into that little scenario a few years ago. Never again.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a scary response below *shivers*
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I shop for clothes alone, with my own money. I hate dragging a man along, because I am not oblivious to his obvious impatience and find it irritating enough to wash my hands of it all together.
I guess if you are dumb enough to buy a woman a bunch of clothes for her, you kind of deserve the punishment, don't you? I mean, really, how long do you expect the relationship to last? Most relationships end rather quickly. That's money down the tube. If you are doing it for sex then you might as well save some money and get a prostitute, seeing as how they are cheaper than girlfriends.
Never spend a lot of money on someone until you are married. If you absolutely must spend an assload of money on her before then, try and make sure you've been dating at least a year, if not more. Six months means nothing.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've got a few options here...
A) You start smoking pot. Pot makes everything fun. I smoke pot and then go shopping with her and I'm everyone's best friend. I'm talking the sales girls, the other customers...hell I'll even go out and sit down on the 'Dead Peckers Bench' and let the old guys regale me with stories of waiting on women.
B) Stare wantonly at the mannequins to the point of 'obvious excitement' thusly ensuring you will not be invited on the next shopping trip. What is hotter than seeing a hot chick take the panties off an inanimate statue of woman?
C) Murder. Death. Kill
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU I WON'T BUY WHAT YOU TELL ME
--
Brilliant Comment Saccy. Have a great Chrimbo period. Not that you are on your period, just have a good time.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:26:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
calm down saccy you silly female
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU I WON'T BUY WHAT YOU TELL ME
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love boots too, especially the Botanics range of deodorants, mmm lovely.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:11:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why I AM the perfect girlfriend. I get all my clothes on line and I told him what to order me for Christmas. And I KNOW I look good, I don't need my other halfs approval. I like to 'wow' him with a new dress just before we go out. He always ends up giving me one before we go, leaving me with sticky crotch for the night.
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Well, what did you expect me to do? It was thigh-highs. I'm only human!
--
AHhhhhhhhhh Boots! I know not why I love them so. I just do. Everyone has their cross I guess
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:11:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why I AM the perfect girlfriend. I get all my clothes on line and I told him what to order me for Christmas. And I KNOW I look good, I don't need my other halfs approval. I like to 'wow' him with a new dress just before we go out. He always ends up giving me one before we go, leaving me with sticky crotch for the night.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, what did you expect me to do? It was thigh-highs. I'm only human!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And now I fucked up the rating
fuck
me
in the poop
chute.
Let's fuck it out.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the mother fuck won't the delta sign work in uber reviews. Replace that gibberish with the Delta sign...the triangle thing.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:05:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This story was the enchantment of all which embodies the Christmas season. I felt tears at one point and extreme hatred at another point, especially when you explained the stoichiometry of 30 Molar NaCl combined with an anhydrous base of hydroxide, OH, to the point where evaporation was accounted for and we found the calorimeter constant to be +/- 35 Joules and the Q = s m ∆ T formula worked to perfection. What a glamorous story you have told, my friend. Or, I didn't read it.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a pain familiar to so many men. rock on brother, rock on.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ummm im gods gift to men!
actually scrap that idea
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:00:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why I AM the perfect girlfriend. I get all my clothes on line and I told him what to order me for Christmas. And I KNOW I look good, I don't need my other halfs approval. I like to 'wow' him with a new dress just before we go out. He always ends up giving me one before we go, leaving me with sticky crotch for the night.
--
Luckily the current inflatable lady is very much of the 'I will go myself' and show you later type.
Orphelia you definately sound like god gift to men! Have a great Christmas.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:52:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, we really need to talk about shopping for men to make Cj feel at home.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can only imagine the horror. It's the single life for me!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:52:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, we really need to talk about shopping with men to make Cj feel at home.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've actually enjoyed shopping with teh wimminz during the (very) brief times that I've been attached. Of course, I'm usually clutching a 72oz Big Gulp of Sprite spiked with half a bottle of vodka, but that's just me.
(sigh) Poor CJ is alone this Christmas, though.
:(
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to Cardiff last Wednesday with the lady and mother of god If i had spent one minute longer looking at which wrapping paper would look best wrapped around a book, I would of ended up wrapping her up and posting her to the north pole.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why I AM the perfect girlfriend. I get all my clothes on line and I told him what to order me for Christmas. And I KNOW I look good, I don't need my other halfs approval. I like to 'wow' him with a new dress just before we go out. He always ends up giving me one before we go, leaving me with sticky crotch for the night.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very fast indeed, it's one of my many talents.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:47:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Truth.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mother of fuck Em how fast do you read?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG OMG I hate shopping with women, hate it, hate it, hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH