What do I want for Christmas this Year? (584 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.89 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Foolproof (View user info) at 2007-12-20 09:51:06 EST
A sense of decency in the world.
That's all.
See, for those that know me, you will also know I live in Maryland. Smack dab betwixt Baltimore and D.C. As such, I have seen my fair share of corruption and crime. I have also seen my fair share of poor and needy living right next to $3 million dollar condos. This whole area is a living paradox.
Recently, there has been a television campaign being run for the Fuel Fund of Maryland ( http://www.fuelfundmaryland.org/ ). It is designed to help provide heat and electricity to those that cannot afford to pay their bills. All manner of businesses jumped on board, including BGE (Baltimore Gas and Electric), the utility company of Maryland. In fact, BGE donated over $500,000 dollars to the fund.
Sounds great, doesn't it?
Well, it would. See, in May 2007, BGE announced a 50% increase in rates. That means the people they are donating to cannot pay their bills because of the company's rate hike. Not only that, they are asking the few people that can still afford service to pay a little extra (voluntarily, of course) to help out the people that are only in this mess because of what BGE did.
Fuck you, BGE. What you could do is just lower your rates. That would help out more than a measly $500K. Which, I'm sure, is way less than what you took in after the rate hike.
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Psychological Egoism is alive and well during the holidays. In fact, the holidays seem to thrive on it. Now is that special time of year when we suddenly give a shit about our fellow man. Now is the time of year when people expect, nay - demand, you help your fellow man. They collect clothing for the poor, cold children. Take a day or two to feed the hungry. Collect toys and money for charity.
All to make themselves feel better during this season of joy.
I don't fucking buy into it.
Don't get me wrong, I am far from heartless. I donate money annually to charity. It goes from my paycheck to the organizations, never reaching my bank. I don't miss it because it is never there. I also don't think about it because I have been doing it for so long.
With that in mind, I feel I have done my part. I have three charities that get my money because I trust them. I have researched them. I know what they do and how they spend my money.
All the others can fuck right off.
Example:
Everybody has the "homeless" beggars in their cities. In the Balt/DC metro area, they stand at the street corners and highway intersections day in and day out. Mexicans trying to sell me flowers or boxes of tissues, "vets" begging for money, and the old "professional panhandlers" with their suspiciously clean clothing and new sunglasses. Yesterday, however, I had a run in with the "charity" people.
As I sat in my car waiting for the red to turn green, I saw him with his bucket. It had a paper taped to it. He went from car to car, asking for change and as he neared me, I started to read the paper.
"Help buy toys for needy children. God bless."
A simple and to the point statement. There was no mention of which charity this was for anywhere to be seen.
He makes it to my window.
"Hey, man. You got something for the kids?"
"No."
"C'mon, man. Help them out. It's Christmas"
"Don't really care."
Now, he gets visibly angry at me. He actually stomps his foot. I shit you not, like a three year old throwing a tantrum.
"Man, you drive this expensive car and you can't spare anything?"
I drive a 2005 Hyundai Elantra. Not even a top of the line one. I have no extras. I bought my CD player at Best Buy.
"I don't give money to people that are not in an official position at a charity."
In D.C., the traffic lights have a countdown to light change. It's awesome. It hits "0" and changes, I drive off.
I had money, but he wasn't getting any. I don't know who this guy was or what he'd do with the money. The bucket was almost full, so either his kids would have a nice Christmas or he would be well drunk by the time the night was over.
---
This morning, my mother called me to tell me one of my uncles died. Vietnam vet, lost his leg, cancer did him in.
I don't care, though.
See, he's my step-father's brother. I haven't talked to him, let alone seen him, in 15 years.
My mother couldn't believe I didn't get choked up. Then she pulled the classic line this time of year.
"Can you believe it? So close to Christmas. What a tragedy."
Tragedy? Because he had the bad luck of dieing in December? He had no kids. He had no wife.
So, would it have been less tragic if he died in June? What about March? When would be a less "tragic" time for a person to die?
I loathe when people try to play my heart strings during the holidays with this crap.
Say I did care. Isn't a loved one passing just as tragic no matter what time of year it is?
Fuck it.
Happy Whatever to you.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-21 01:18:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-20 22:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I want to be the one who chooses who lives and who dies.
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i'm sorry, i've already applied for that job and i think you'll see my qualifications far outweigh yours.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-12-20 23:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Merry Christmas, you miserable prick.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-20 22:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I want to be the one who chooses who lives and who dies.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-20 21:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So... you're a perpetually suspicious, emotionally withholding tightwad. Dad? Dad is that you?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
every year, in some fucked-up city in the US, some dumb-ass newscaster always asks a group of homeless people how they feel during the holidays
and every year after i've watching that same conversation, over and over, i have trouble not kicking the shit out of my tv because i can't spare the time to find each and everyone of those newscasters and give them the fucking beat-down they so sorely deserve
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-20 19:56:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-20 18:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
your mom had some sort of feelings about this person obviously and wanted someone to reminisce or commiserate with. you decided she was trying to 'trap you' into something and denied her that. good show.
there is value in being a cynic only until it causes you to lose your heart altogether. (or some bullshit like that.) after that, you're just practicing being a bastard. thanks, but we have enough of those in the world already.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-12-20 18:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a comment, but then I forgot it. So this is a comment to say that I have No Comment.
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I think I had 2 or 3...or maybe just 1. I dont know. Im bored. Its snowing again and I'm going to build something in it after work I think. Probably not, though.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a comment, but then I forgot it. So this is a comment to say that I have No Comment.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"See, for those that know me, you will also know I live in Maryland. Smack dab betwixt Baltimore and D.C."
Wait, there's still space between the two?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-12-20 12:35:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good that you didn't give the guy anything.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:42:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right. It's the Dean Martin clause - "Even the biggest stars can die on Christmas Day."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Christ, you're bitter. It's fun, isn't it?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:09:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I sympathize.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-20 11:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:47:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to work for a company like collegehumor.com or something. I
want to get paid lots of money to dick around on computers all day,
work in a really laid back modern open-air office, and wear
interesting t-shirts and high-dollar designer sneakers to the office
every day. I bet there would be a lot of hot chicks wearing librarian
glasses and trendy outfits like Pentameter. I bet the cafeteria serves
really expensive health food with lots of choices prepared by an
actual chef instead of a doughy white chick that lives in a trailer
park and completed a 4 month culinary program at the local community
college. I want to live in a modern loft-style condo apartment in a
renovated mill building with commercial toilets that will flush a
basketball on the first try. I want roof access and professionally
designed and landscaped areas for a Japanese evergreen garden and a
barbecue/eating area. I want to take the train to work. Hell, I want
to OWN work. I want to own the company and hire a trustworthy and
exceptional CEO to run it for me. I want to own the building as
well. When I "take the train to work" I mean I want to show up
unexpectedly for inspections to make sure shit's running smoothly.
I'll still be in a t-shirt and jeans and it'll still be a low stress
environment, but I want to make sure people aren't just slacking. I
want my people to work hard and play hard, make me tons of money but
be well and properly compensated for it. I want my employees to be
happy, driven, creative, and treated like humans, not just cogs in a
machine. I want to ride my Ducati Monster S4 on smooth, twisty, back
country roads on weekends. I want to take adventure vacations to
tropical locales. I want to zipline in a rainforest canopy in the
morning, play in the surf with my daughter in the afternoon, and sip frozen
drinks with my wife by moonlight. I want to go skydiving. I want to
hunt boar with a spear. I want a 69' Camaro with a 454 big block. I
want an M107 .50 caliber long range semi-automatic sniper rifle that I
use to hunt poachers on African game reserves. I want the world to
switch to a readily available sustainable eco-friendly fuel source that is 100% compatible with current petroleum-based-fuel systems. The technology exists. I want ants for the gel ant farm I got last Christmas. I want Dunkin' Donuts to pull their heads out of their asses and put Vanilla Chai right back in the fucking lineup where it belongs, because no one in the whole fucking world cares about hot chocolate, let alone multiple flavors of the shit.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm....I think what you need is a dose of realism.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm pretty much between DC and Baltimore as well, and also an unfortunate BGE customer. What a fucking debacle deregulation turned out to be. It sure was painful reading about the record profits and super-sweet benefits the CEO's were raking in while I watched my monthly bill sky-rocket.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:15:27 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
so you give us an example of how people aren't being considered and then two examples of how you aren't considerate of others
I'm guessing what you want for Christmas is a cure for Bi Polarism
---------------
OUCH...hahahahaha
This is why I love you badass.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:22:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Simulated nothin'!
I wanted the real thing!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A sense of decency in the world.
That's all.
--------------------
This time last year did you not plead with your significant other for the gift of simulated rape?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh sorry, +2 for Christmas, Scrooge
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:15:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so you give us an example of how people aren't being considered and then two examples of how you aren't considerate of others
I'm guessing what you want for Christmas is a cure for Bi Polarism
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-20 10:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
One thing I will say about death near or on a holiday is that it's that much harder to forget the anniversary of the death and can be a reminder of the loss. My ex-wife's step-brother was killed in Iraq on Christmas Eve three years ago and he certainly comes to mind every year.
Not to get toally off topic here but he was killed over there and all I could think was what a waste. This kid was great, truly one of the nice guys and ready to give to anyone that needed it. His parents though? they're all "he died for a good cause, we really need to support the president and troops", blech. seriously? Your son, an actual quality person instead of some dumb peice of shit was blown to bits and that's really what you think? I don't know if I can buy it, he was a great person and would have continued being a great person and instead, well you know.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-20 09:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you should be more realistic.