SPT - PS BACON IS LIFE -or- Dunkin' Donuts Is Made Of Stupid (1010 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 61 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by creep_firebombing (View user info) at 2007-12-20 13:03:44 EST
I just went over to Dunkin's to get a "The Great One" sized vanilla chai WHEN MY WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN! Dunkin' Donuts has pulled vanilla chai from the lineup! They want to release a new flavor of hot chocolate in the new year and are pulling chai to make room. Now, I don't know about you, but I can get fucking hot chocolate anywhere. Hell, I can make hot chocolate just as good or better than DD at HOME, but what I CANNOT replicate is the heavenly creaminess that is Dunkin' Donuts Vanilla Chai. It's so fucking good, I even put out a fire with it and made the effort to use only enough to put out the fire so I could still drink the rest! This is fucking bullshit! Now that I think about it, vanilla chai was the only reason I ever went to Dunkin' Donuts. I never went there as a kid because I've always hated coffee and why the fuck am I going to pay them for cocoa when I got the shit at home? I don't even really like donuts, to be perfectly honest. The whole fucking franchise with locations every two city blocks was completely fucking USELESS to me until the advent of VANILLA FUCKING CHAI! RAWR!
Also, see the attached picture for the best damn idea EVAR for sandwich ingredients. I'm serious. That shit is my new desktop wallpaper.
User Reviews
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-27 11:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darkforcesbane (user info) at 2007-12-26 16:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The chai was just their hot chocolate mix with a powdered/dried version of their coffee with creamer in it.
Worked there for way too long to still know that...
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Why does it taste like vanilla and nutmeg without any hint of coffee flavor whatsoever? Are you sure you're not thinking of the Dunkachino? 'Cause the Dunkachino sucked balls and seems like it would have probably been made from the shit you just listed.
HBTS - I work out for no less than an hour Every. Single. Fucking. Day. I'll eat whatever the fuck I want, thank you very much. I follow a strict diet when I'm training for a fight, but the rest of the time I'm going to enjoy my life. Besides, heart attacks are for people that eat and drink this kind of shit every day.
RedSkies - I do, in fact, weigh more than some smaller offroad motorcycles. Actually, one of my fighters competed in a grappling tournament a few weeks ago. On the way back we all decided to stop at a go-kart track that has those really fast suped up adult karts (similar to this place: http://www.f1boston.com/ ). Most of my guys compete at around 155 lbs. Since I'm at about 210 lbs. right now, these guys were flying right by me. I was pissed because I felt like I was outracing them, but I couldn't come in any better than 3rd place behind the two 155 lb. guys.
Submitted by darkforcesbane (user info) at 2007-12-26 16:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The chai was just their hot chocolate mix with a powdered/dried version of their coffee with creamer in it.
Worked there for way too long to still know that...
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2007-12-22 11:12:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Rachel Ray is too happy all of the time! I believe she is addicted to pain killers... Or maybe thats me, hmm. Whatever
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-12-22 10:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bacon is the best. I knew a guy that used to eat about a pound per day. He used to make barbecued pork sandwiches with eight pieces of bacon on it every night at this bar we worked at together. He had to get most of his colon cut out, after years of this. :(
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-12-22 10:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH MY GOD. That man must be the happiest person on earth.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-12-21 15:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That reminded me of Seinfeld, when George eats sandwiches while having sex.
I think I'm going to try then when I get back home.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, that is what I was insinuating.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You love TO pork, slut.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-21 11:43:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love pork
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:05:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't you worry about me TTOM; I'm well 'ard.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 14:54:51 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:37:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as soon as i heal from my latest disease, crappy immune system
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May I come to the funeral? Your sister is really hot.
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on your own soul be it sirrah, just dont say i didnt warn you when she leaves you penniless and broken in the gutter
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got hungry from this.
</bored>
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:54:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:37:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as soon as i heal from my latest disease, crappy immune system
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May I come to the funeral? Your sister is really hot.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:37:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as soon as i heal from my latest disease, crappy immune system
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ssshhhh im on an infiltration mission, soon the hoardes shall be unleashed
although the way people drive down here i doubt we'd have to kill many people ourselves, just sort of wait around
-p------------------
The only reason you're here is because your woman dragged you here by the cock.
Actually shit, that reminds me. We should have a gathering now that you aren't living in the frozen cap of the world.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ssshhhh im on an infiltration mission, soon the hoardes shall be unleashed
although the way people drive down here i doubt we'd have to kill many people ourselves, just sort of wait around
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:57:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:55:36 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
justified violence below
BACON IS LIFE
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This coming from a Scot who recently moved somewhere in the South of England?
FOR SHAME YOU FAG!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
justified violence below
BACON IS LIFE
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:33:58 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
proof of lack of Scottishness below
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Sensible diet old chap. Actually I'm a vegetarian faggot and I regularly get beaten up because of it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know for a fact that Creep Firebombing weighs the same as a touring motorbike with sidecar that is being ridden by what we conventional people would consider 'morbidly-obese, fat bastards'.
I say that meaning no offense, of course.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
proof of lack of Scottishness below
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:17:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Enjoy your heart attack.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
CaptainThorns - I bought vanilla chai tea at the grocery store, but it's just not the same. DD just made it so smooth and creamy with nutmeg or whatever floating on top. It was just the best thing ever on a cold morning. I cannot fucking believe they're getting rid of it. For fucking FLAVORED HOT CHOCOLATE??? Jesus fuck!
FALLEN - I'd hit it as long as she isn't really like her on-air persona. If she can calm the fuck down and be real for 10 minutes, I could view her as a sexual object instead of a bubble-headed attention whore.
MudWhistle - "Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes" AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Brdn_Nkd - Donk is our very own DonkeyOnTheEdge. http://www.ubersite.com/u/DonkeyOnTheEdge He and I are good friends from back when he lived in NH. He married Pentameter and they now live elsewhere, but he was Army, not Chair Force.
BLITZKREIG_BOB - When I pulled up to the window, the chick asked me if I wanted to try the white chocolate version since it's new and I couldn't have chai. Knowing what white chocolate tastes like even in it's semi-natural form, I looked at her like she took a shit on the hood of my car. Thanks, but fuck you very much with your fucking white hot chocolate. Note: Now that I think about it, the words "hot", "white", and "chocolate" cannot all be in the same sentence without sounding dirty and VERY much unlike something one would want to drink.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-12-21 00:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AUTO +2 FOR BACON
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. It's like finding the holy grail, and I think I cried a little at the beauty of it all.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-12-20 17:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't drink the hot white chocolate. It tastes like microwaved, watered down, powdered milk.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-12-20 16:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bacon is good for bacon sammiches. With fucking proper brown sauce, that is. A bacon butty without Daddies sauce is like a Joo without their gold.
A bacon sammich with ketchup is like a vagina with pus-filled pustules that remind you vaguely of Gorden Brown.
You'd be surprised how many of them there are.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-12-20 16:19:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i felt the same way when they pulled a dunkachinno. it was so much more than hot chocolate and coffee mixed. it was unique. now it's gone forever.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:57:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
muddy is really entertaining these days
oh yeah and bacon is good too
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I blame it all on Rachel Ray, the wretched cunt.
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LUCY!!!! MISS YOU SO MUCH! I'm refusing to cut my hair until I'm on Thai soil. You and Donk should come. We'll open a beach bar and never come home. Deal?
I knew a donk once. was your donk ever in the air farce? just curious
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bacon is life
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes
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you realize how many prople missed that joke as well, right?
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I don't get it.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-12-20 15:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I imagine that is what Thorpe is going to look like when he is 40.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes
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you realize how many prople missed that joke as well, right?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well the way I see it they can't really get mad if I call them dot heads...they have fucking dots..on their heads.
much like a black man is a black man
and Chinese has slanted eyes
and Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes
i calls 'em like I sees 'em
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for years they owned every dunkin in town. but some white guy came in and built like five new stores.
not a "push-start" in any of them.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Muddy,
does DH stand for dot head?
If so, thumbs up.
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Rachel Ray is irritating but I'd let her eat gingerbread donuts off my wang.
delish' indeed.
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no one else picked that up but yes i'm guilty
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:43:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My wife sells chai mix for tea/coffee, if you want some to put in your coffee. $9.95 for a can that will make loads and loads of the stuff, tastes close to the same too. Just drop me an e-mail.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Muddy,
does DH stand for dot head?
If so, thumbs up.
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Rachel Ray is irritating but I'd let her eat gingerbread donuts off my wang.
delish' indeed.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BACON!!!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:31:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i watch ramsay, fuck rachel ray.
i'd have ramsay's babies if someone hadn't already.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HI PENTAMETER!
HI CREEPOLA!
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Hey Meth. Where were you for Christmas? It was a great party.
Oh, and speaking of TV, I was watching Kitchen Disasters or whatever that new Gordon Ramsey show is and the owner/head chef on last night's episode reminded me a lot of you. If you open a restaurant in NY, marry an annoying Jewish chick, and hire an incompetent fat guy that cries a lot as manager, let me know.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for the title alone.
Bacon is why vegetarians scare me so much. What kind of mental job would willingly forgo bacon. It makes no sense. Just like people who don't drink. never really sure how to take them. So I'll just ignore them. This sentence should have ended quite awhile ago.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fat much?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, Rachael? Saying something is "delish" is fucking gay. Stop it and go away.
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She did that with the word "solution" in the newest commercial. Seriously, can you think of a more awkward truncation that "solush"? Seriously, what the fuck?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:03:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ITS BAAAAAACOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-20 14:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HI PENTAMETER!
HI CREEPOLA!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Dave...looks like all of the golden oldies are crawling out of the woodwork today.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I blame it all on Rachel Ray, the wretched cunt.
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LUCY!!!! MISS YOU SO MUCH! I'm refusing to cut my hair until I'm on Thai soil. You and Donk should come. We'll open a beach bar and never come home. Deal?
And I agree. Rachel Ray is one of the most annoying people in the world in those commercials. I don't like her show, but she's not so goddamn...I don't know, "ARGH!" as in the commercials.
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I miss you too! Tropical locations are always looking mighty good to me...although getting my husband to go is a whole different matter in and of itself. He actually LIKES winter. I know...he's a fucking psycho.
I think the thing I hate the most about Rachael is the fact that she is EVERYWHERE. She's all over tv and her food looks as though it would taste like shit. By the way, Rachael? Saying something is "delish" is fucking gay. Stop it and go away.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:41:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my good god, that's a lot of bacon.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's so fucking good, I even put out a fire with it and made the effort to use only enough to put out the fire so I could still drink the rest!"
I spit out my A&W Cream Soda at that.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I blame it all on Rachel Ray, the wretched cunt.
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I have no idea what this means but I love Pentameter.
I also have no clue as to what creep was talking about in the previous reply (which may be out of time by the time I post this).
-Dave
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmmm...bacon loom...
In other news, we got five inches of fresh snow since I left for work this morning and the plow guy hasn't gotten around to our place yet. My wife had to tow my daughter to work on a snow tube, which though incredibly cute, is now making me want to move somewhere tropical again. Now that vanilla chai is gone, I have no more use for warm drinks. Time to move to the equator and get started on frozen drinks.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I blame it all on Rachel Ray, the wretched cunt.
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LUCY!!!! MISS YOU SO MUCH! I'm refusing to cut my hair until I'm on Thai soil. You and Donk should come. We'll open a beach bar and never come home. Deal?
And I agree. Rachel Ray is one of the most annoying people in the world in those commercials. I don't like her show, but she's not so goddamn...I don't know, "ARGH!" as in the commercials.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awsome bacon arraingment, but I think I would still prefer a slice of bread on top.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had bacon for dinner last night. It was glorious.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is there a loom for that bacon/cholesterol attack?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I blame it all on Rachel Ray, the wretched cunt.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When the Chai tea first came to DD I was nearly assaulted by the Indian lady behind the counter.
me: I'll have a large hot tea with splenda
DH: YOU WANT CHAI TEA!!!!?
ME: um what?
DH: CHAI TEA...YOU WANT!!!
me: i'm sorry i didn't understand you
DH: CHAI TEA CHAI TEA CHAI TEA YOU WANT YOU WANT!!!
me: um..ok whatever *hands over 2 bucks and hairy balls
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-12-20 13:04:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to give you props for the sheer symmetry of the bacon "quilt".