shut the fuck up, it had to be done (685 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.76 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RoboCock (View user info) at 2007-12-20 20:48:02 EST
We all have our disagreements with President Bush. Immigration, U.S. Attorney firings, Iraq, Darfur, etc. are all hot topics these days. The following "speech" was written yesterday by an ordinary Maineiac. While satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. An excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living. Sent with the author's permission.
The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:
Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans." Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: there's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people.
I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton Administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.
Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you don't realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world.
We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil" thing. If I was trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied People Died' crap either. If I was the liar you take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty. Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor'. Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, you might just as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.
So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means the smiling, vacuous nitwit Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there're just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, * off.
User Reviews
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-02 05:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
so far off the mark it's pathetic...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-02 05:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I saw George W Bush' name and your user name and thought ' I sure dont care'
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-01-02 03:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf inraot
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-01-02 02:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
While I may not fully aggree with what's said here, I like the way it was said.
It sounds like the writer of this, not you, has a decent view on the matter, and voiced their opinions well.
It doesn't get a 2, because you didn't write it, but you did get permission to use it. Points for non plagarism.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-02 00:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
People like you and the idiot that wrote this shit need regular, vicious beatings until you smarten up.
Fucking stupid people.
GAWD.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-12-26 10:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-12-26 10:47:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the last man who fucked with the constitution was abraham lincoln.
he suspended habeaus corpus (sp?)
this guy.....I think he wipes his ass with the damned thing.
yeah, it's a war. but for fucks sakes, we don't need to usher in orwell's nightmare because of it.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The first reason the president wouldn't give a speech like this is that he is unable to speak this coherently, note I did not say well, just coherently. it amazes me that there are still staunch bush supporters out there.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
something makes me want to type 'way to add a jpeg that's older than big mike dipfuck'. oops. merry christmas but.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stop posting and send the password to this account to sicosemen.at.gmail.com
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:42:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There isn't an original thought in that vast headspace of yours, is there Sparky?
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://warriorsnation.com/We%20all%20have%20our%20disagreements%20with%20President%20Bush.pdf
Fucking copy/paste!
WOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I dunno. I just can't let a kid, who probably can't vote yet, lecture me about governmental policy and procedures.
Call me crazy.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:32:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Certainly didn't read this.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-12-21 06:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
That's exactly what a President under seige needs: A supporter that call himself RoboCock.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-12-21 00:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OLD
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-12-20 22:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh boy, another opinion piece by a pretentious git with their head lodged firmly in their colon.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-12-20 22:20:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shut the fuck up bubba
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-20 22:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hadley is a fucking robococksuckerwholicksas.
seewhutimean?
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-12-20 21:14:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh.
Submitted by dismas712 (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:55:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
didnt know you had that name, dont be such a child.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-20 20:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't take my fucking name in vain you fuck